I am in my “happy space” after a visit with my Shaman.  More healing sessions forthcoming.  Training as well.

Re-feeling my recent desire to follow the political/social changes going on. Last night as I did some research I heard “detach some and go within” ~ which felt to me ~ do not “forget” your focus which is a within experience.

Energy is much more fluid and supportive today after yesterday’s ACK.  I returned to the same store tonight on my way home ~ energies were completely different.  Easy to be there tonight.

With all of the happenings I feel, at least for myself, it is deeply important to remember the focus – beyond the beyond.  All of the drama and chaos has a purpose ~ but it is indeed just part of the Whole.

Laying low this evening.  Integrating the energies of today.  Had some cool moments of connection/synchronicity, one made me giggle.  I shared my experience with Galactics with my Shaman.  Stopping on the way home at my favorite store, something said “check out the ice cream” ~ which I did ~ and the one I honed in on – Mint Galactica (coconut ice cream).  Yes indeed.

Coconut ice cream has gone Universal.

For now, one sits in my freezer.   [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

Much love…

Victoria

Yesterday was an “OW OUCH” day.  Today?

ARGH!!!!

Did anybody else notice “out there” felt discombobulated, extremely agitated?

From my daughter to my mate to my girl’s friend who came to play today to the people I encountered at the store ~ I just wanted away from it all today.

The store I normally frequent ~ which is usually a pretty calm experience ~ was unreal.  It felt like every person I walked by was oozing anger and showing signs of fatigue and/or deeply unaware of their surroundings.

There was the woman talking loudly on her cell phone who ran into my cart, clueless until I pointed out “hello human being here” and she said “oh sorry” loudly, while giving me a dirty look.  “There is no reason for you to speak so loudly to me,” I said as she walked away.

Ok then…

Then there were the people standing in the middle of the aisle, while I waited for them to either move or notice me.  When neither happened I said “excuse me”.  Nothing.  “Excuse me,” I said again.  Nothing.  “I said EXCUSE me”, pushing on through, bumping into them.  And believe it or not, nothing.  They did not move.

Next aisle had the guy who was speaking rudely to the woman he was with, talking down to her because she failed to hear the king’s request that she stay put, which prompted me to clear my throat and give him a look.  If there is one thing that triggers me instantly and perks me awake is that masculine “I am the ruler of this space” b.s.  I wanted to say “I’m sorry I thought that behavior you are exhibiting had left this realm” but continued on my way instead.

However…I later ran into him and he was talking politics with an elderly woman.  “We have to get rid of this idiot in the White House.  He’s ruining this country.”  I snorted when I heard that.  He glanced my way and I said “you don’t know as much as you believe you do.”

My patience with the unawakened masses of bots in this realm just wasn’t happening.  I probably should have stayed home.

But if I had, I would not have had the opportunity to share a moment of tenderness with a mom of two little girls who were obviously trying her patience.  I know that experience.  Hearing her talk I knew if she were at home the volume of her words would have been higher.  As I watched her my heart began to open. We aren’t supposed to live this way.  Detached.  Robotic activities, raising our children alone.  Throwing them into institutions to occupy them and raise them and fill their heads with nonsense.

The insanities of this realm have always weighed on me.  Always.

So as she walked by I placed my hand on her shoulder and said “you are my hero in this moment”.  She gave me a look.  I told her I was a mom, I know the feeling of exhaustion, frustration, just wanting a break.  She relaxed and smiled and we chatted for a brief moment.  Before she left I said “I just wanted you to know that I see you.  That someone saw you today.”  Oh wow – I don’t know where those words came from but as I heard myself speak them I even surprised myself with how totally perfect those words were for that moment.  She smiled and gave me a beautiful thank you and I thanked her back.

I was thankful for that moment of connection.  It made me want to go find that guy from earlier and tell him something similar.  Acknowledge his experience ~ which is extreme frustration over the current administration here in the states.  But then I thought nah, I have had enough conversations with such people who, for whatever reason(s), have so much animosity, the moment you share anything positive about what’s going on they tend to put on the “jerk” hat.  And given what I had already experienced before going to the store, I was in no mood to be at the brunt of another person’s emotional drama.

I left the store in an interesting space.  I was still feeling the connection from the woman as well as the unpleasant experiences.  As I got into the car, I shut the door and yelled.  I just yelled and yelled and yelled.  And then I had no more need to do so, so I started the car and took the long way home.  I thought again of the reality I want.  Now.  How long I have known this.  How long I have felt it all.  And how my patience to see it manifest is up.  Getting others on board ~ in this area ~ just ain’t happening.  It is time to hook up with my tribe and my Higher Selves have some work to do to bring this forth to my experience.  Or as I later told my spouse:  If my galactic family wherever it is I have lived were to show up today and everything in me said “YES it is you” and they then asked “want to come” I would leave in a heartbeat.  I felt the brunt of all of the years of work I have spent writing and sharing and longing for the new (this is by far not my first blog, btw).  The conversations.  The questions I have asked.  The ideas I have shared of “let’s do this!”

And here I still am.   As I drove I wondered why….at this point.  WHY AM I STILL HERE?  (I’m not talking about being a mama to my girl.  Obviously I know that is part of my package.  I just want to know WHY AM I STILL IN THIS REALITY when I find it so fully lacking in resonance with what I am and desire.)

I simply will not wait any longer to at least BEGIN to create the New as I desire.

Coming home to a quiet house was a nice way to ease back into my domestic life.  That is until my girl and her friend returned.  Her friend was obviously feeling some of her own angst and started exhibiting it.  No, I thought.  Not in my house.  Not today.  I am not up for this.

So I was grateful when she said she wanted to go home.

I don’t know why this has to be so painful.  So difficult.  Such a struggle.  We fell (or as a friend so correctly said “we were pushed”) quite quickly.  We can rise again just the same.

Until then, I am going to get some rest.  Or perhaps I will go get in the car and drive away as the two other people who live here are once again showing signs of their own distress.  And my body cannot take the noise. The energy.

I had enough today “out there”.

On we go…

Victoria

I decided to share the dream on the whim that someone may find it interesting.  I certainly do given I never “ask” for these experiences, and given I have had dreams of each president going back to Clinton, with what I have “seen” proving to be accurate, I take note when I have these experience.  The dreams of Trump (who as I have said, I did not vote for, however I do overall support what he is doing) have been unbelievable. Numbers alone, I believe the tally now stands at 8 since January.

Last night I was in the new earth realm.  Of note, my mate also had a dream of the same last night (new earth realm).  The weather, nature, etc. ~ near identical dream experience.  In mine though, I went to some special room in my house and there sits Trump on the floor.  He was smiling at me.  The impression I received was he is comfortable with anyone, in any given situation.  He knows when to lead and when to step back.  In my dream he was in a state of stepping back, allowing me to speak (unlike all previous dreams where he was in control).  Perhaps this is a reflection of what is going on now with the Saudi’s, the indictments, releasing of classified info ~ he’s letting others step up  to “do” after he gave orders.

After I shared the dream with my mate, he said he read yesterday where Trump is comfortable in any situation.  Ok then….

Moving on to the Clinton’s.

Both of them were in the room.  Bill was also sitting in the floor.  He said he was ready to repent.  His energy was very small.  Weak.  Hillary, who was standing off to my left, was not ready to repent.  She was very defiant, refusing to own anything.  Her energy was harsh, sharp and very heavy.  I observed the two of them briefly, then knew I had had enough and left the experience.

I thought about the last part of the dream later.  I spent a few moments imagining what it would be like to allow yourself to see all of the horrific behaviors one has created that caused so much suffering.  This goes beyond “yes I cheated on my mate” or “I stole a car once”.  I know the guilt, the regret, that deep pain I feel if I have yelled at my daughter or said something to someone I wish I hadn’t.  W O W.

To have that level amplified to the degree she will at one point face ~ W O W.

I felt some sympathy for her.  I wish her well on her next journey.  May she and all others who played the most horrifying of card games with humanity come to find acceptance.  Repent.

And forgiveness.

It is too easy for me at times to get caught up in all of that stuff out there going on and I experience temporary amnesia that reminds me we are all One.  Helps sooth the the anger, the sadness and move to the place of forgiveness.  Lots of deep breaths these days, huh?