One word for today: WOW.
After having moments of bliss lately and feeling quite well, overall, feeling stronger, more grounded, more empowered, where it is becoming easier to stay focused on what I want, I was hit hard today.
I was drying my hair, reading and chanting a mantra I say now and then – although today I said it with full intention and meaning. “I accept and integrate all of the healing and clearing that has been sent to me. So be it and thank you!” I said that a few times very enthusiastically then felt a burst of energy go through me which sent me into a state of bliss and a rush of energy only to then suddenly experience major dizziness, then I felt my blood pressure drop and I thought I was going to pass out. Immediately I dropped to my knees on the floor, heart pounding, and just remained still until the feeling passed. I then got up and felt exhausted – as though my pilot light had gone from a bright light to a pathetic little flicker.
I went about my day as best as I could. Sinuses an inflamed mess. Fluid in my ears. Throat scratchy. Then my back began to ache although I was able to deal with that with heat and yoga stretches. I then suddenly had bizarre knee pain – in both knees – a new experience. Massaging my feet handled that.
I purged a lot emotionally. Oh god I am so tired of that. Why can’t I just let it all out in one full releasing cry??
I felt drugged – heavily lethargic. Again – so tired of having that experience as well.
I read today – and have intuitively felt as well – that if we were to absorb all of the incoming energies at maximum capacity, it would be too much for our physical bodies to absorb. As Ellie’s father in Contact tells her, “Small steps Ellie. Small steps.” I also read where other dimensional’s and galactics are helping to absorb some of this energy so that it has the least negative impact on our bodies. I get that now. I got that today. I asked for a full bucket of energy – I got it – I loved the experience for a moment – that is until my body said “whoa there circuit board overload” and I about lost consciousness for a moment.
Ongoing note to self: Must respect body. And use discernment when stating intentions for oneself.
I needed today. As long as I have been following this ascension topic and been on my own journey, at times I have questioned whether all of this supposed incoming energy was real event or perhaps if the energy is “real”, was it really changing our physical bodies? Today told me “indeed, yes”. Humbling moment number 2472.
When is all of this going to just end? When we ask it to perhaps? Am I really up for this experience? I have moments where I wonder if I am – moments like today where I find myself asking “is this what it’s like to die?” Ugh. That being said, I can honestly say I would deeply regret giving up now when I’m so close to the finish line so I keep on keeping on.
Love, gratitude and respect to myself and to you fellow traveler’s as well.
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