Weird Phenomena and Today’s Blessings


A new neighbor/mama is sharing this strange experience as well.  What is this strangeness?  Not only NO desire to cook, but dinner/meal ideas no longer appealing.  And nothing new comes to mind or if it does, holds no appeal.  When she told me this I was floored and excited.  ME TOO, I said.

I am facing this daily now.  It was random for awhile but not anymore. Looking up new recipes used to be an obsession.  Now I hate it.  lol

Obviously I come up with something or else people around here would starve (rolling my eyes), but damn…  NOTHING food-wise seems to appeal to me.  Eating is becoming a chore instead of a pleasure.

Where am I headed?  To a state where I no longer eat?

To a reality where food replicator’s are provided for all instead of suppressed as they are in this one?

Whatever this “realm” I am in – this in-between stage – well it just sucks. I am ready to leap to the new.  Now.

I can give much thanks however to the miracles that did occur today – in spite of my not intending them.  In fact I resisted at first – but then was a little bit inundated with several in a short period I had to let them in.  And now I just want to punch my punching bag and cry and scream while giving thanks.  A rather paradoxical state to be in.

First miracle ~ dragonfly that kept showing up.  Always a message of love from spirit.

Second miracle ~ as I was stuck in my “white men” thought train (sorry my male readers – just being honest with old thoughts that were, honestly, understandably created at the time) ~ two guys drove by and waved at me.  One I had no idea who it was but it was such a sweet smile and wave…. and the other guy I know and he NEVER waves.  I always receive a frown/scowl.  While I received no smile, I will take a wave as an acknowledgement.

Third miracle ~ Talking with our wonderful neighbor who is family to us, I was lamenting my pain over my broken relationship with my father.  I just want him to feel proud of me.  To show me and tell me he loves me. To connect with me emotionally.  Accept me for who I am.  Show interest in what I do – especially my latest venture with this website.  My neighbor said he’s probably doing the best he can.  I know that, I said.  But my heart still aches for more.  I have never felt I am good enough in his eyes and mind and heart (wherever that is) and certain things/words he has tossed my way have made it clear what he really thinks of me.  My eyes welled up with tears and my neighbor said “well you can call me Dad and I will always listen to you.”  Voice cracks as I say “thank you” and give him a hug.  He means it.  He is not the type to say something like that unless he is sincere.

So releasing more old crap today that I wish I knew how to fully let go – purge out.  All at once.

And seeing where I am blessed and loved.

Just takes the heart awhile to make the switch it all.

Intense Energies Causing Intense Emotions


I have so little to say and yet so very much to say at the same time.  It has been a day.  Child fell off her bike, busting a cable.  More money to toss at that.  Then she stubbed her foot, cutting open her big toe.  I spent last night on the couch throwing up a meal I bought prepared because I was too exhausted to cook (and my intentions of creating an angel who just brings me a home-cooked meal just because has yet to transpire).  Trader Joe’s Spaknokita or something like that. Far too many onions.  The food was not tainted with anything as my mate and child ate the same thing w/o consequence.

Still feeling like shit today.  Body hurts.  Still waiting for things “out there” to change.  Still intending the same desires for myself.  The nightly meditations.

While inside is a giant FUCK YOU brewing wishing to be unleashed.

I’m kind of at a loss on how to create anything worthwhile, that I desire, in this reality anymore.

I am used to the struggle.  But never before has it been like this.

I surrender and let go.  Then what?  More “void”?

No thank you.  Spent far too much of my adult life in that “void”.

I know what I desire.

And I am tired of advice that doesn’t come backed up with authentic help or the question “what can I do for you”.  Does no one do this???  Unasked for advice repels me when it isn’t backed up with such a statement.

Are we gonna create a true authentic space of Unity or more of the same? More superficiality?

I opt for Unity and authenticity, myself.

For now, I am going to nurse this sore, ick-feeling body, put some more boo boo cream on my little one’s big toe.  The song lyrics “it don’t come easy” just went through my mind.  Not.  Funny.

Certainly not today.

A Message Found In A Notebook


I picked up a notebook to do some sketching earlier today.  A brief message popped out at me.  It was written earlier this year when I was out in nature, doing some stream-of-consciousness writing.  “Victoria ~ release your thinking from that of division/duality and you will ascend to the timeline of your heart’s choosing.”


Today’s Energies


So at first I thought this schumann spike today was not affecting me.  I was wrong.

Ringing in the right ear.

Tears flowing.

Powerful urge to watch Field of Dreams.  Did not pursue that urge.  TV music channel was on earlier.  Something said “go to the tv now”.  I did. Theme from Field of Dreams was playing.

Will watch now.

It is 3:05pm, pacific time and I just noticed I had not made sure my kiddo’s hair or teeth were brushed.  Sorry, mama doesn’t know where she is today.

When we eat meals now, it is now that – a meal.  I no longer define things by breakfast, lunch, dinner.  Nor do I define the day of the week.  Or time.

It is now.

My little one’s teeth and hair ~ cleaned.

And it is now time to make a meal.

Lost in Cosmic Space.  With a ringing right ear.

How are ya’ll doing?


Intending What We Want This Eclipse To Represent


Wallpaper, Background, Eclipse, Twilight

There are many articles floating around now on what this upcoming solar eclipse “means”.  I have come to believe we are not just along for the ride with earth and this realm we live in.  We are Co-Creating on this journey of awakening and remembering.

There are organized global meditations for this eclipse.  Since this is an event that has received worldwide attention, let’s focus what we wish to experience.

Removal of all lower vibrational energies from our individual and collective trauma’s.

Return us to Source Frequencies.

Restore our memories.

Restore our powers.

Return us to Wholeness.

These are my intentions.  This is what I saw and see.

The possibilities are endless.

Let us make this our own Event.  Let us use this event to come together with the Unity Consciousness that will be taking place on that day and Supercharge it with the intentions of Love and Healing and Full Restoration of WE THE SOURCE BEINGS.

It is done.

It is so.

And so it is.




Message From Sacred Tree ~ All Life Is Sacred


Success, Accomplishment, Achievement

Ah, the pleasure it was to head out on this cool night alone, to walk the streets in silence.  Normally I am accompanied by my child, but being she was home totally tuned in (or tuned out) to her movie, I decided to take advantage of the situation.

I had not intended on walking to the sacred tree.  I didn’t really feel the need ~ that is until about 20 minutes into my walk, I felt a gentle nudge to go pay a visit.  So I did.  I stood in front of her, hands together, in a gentle greeting.  As I placed my hands upon her, immediately my left hand began to tremble with an intensity I had not felt from her in quite awhile.  In fact, on the previous visit, I felt she was sleeping/resting.  She was absolutely silent and still.

It was so intense I almost pulled away but I kept my hands there.  The word I felt had an “s” in it.  At first I thought it was “surrender”.  But then felt “that’s only part of it.”

After receiving nothing more, and feeling the transmission was over, I thanked her and continued on my way.  This was new.  Normally I “get it” at the time.  Something told me though the message would formulate with more walking.  Indeed it did.

After a couple of blocks, I began to hear a message.  “Greet the plants.” So I did.  Only I didn’t greet each of them.  Just the ones I found “pretty”.

“No,” I felt.  “Greet the plants.  Every one of them.”

So I did.  And you know, it took effort.  It felt almost unnatural to greet the plants we call weeds.  The dying blades of grass.  But I did.  Kinda faked it until I made it.

In doing so, my heart began to expand and tears formed in the corners of my eyes.

It was then I began to Remember the sacredness in all life.  Remembered it from the feeling space, not just the mind space.

I was able to Remember a feeling from a time so very very long ago when looking at life in this manner was normal.

All life.

Thoughts continued to form in my mind.  I thought back to a piece I read earlier today that spoke of how it is now past time to walk the talk of living in Unity.  At first I dismissed it.  Ego certainly did.  See the sacred in everyone and everything?  No exceptions?  Especially people??!!

Ack no!

What about those who…my ego began, telling all those old stories.

It is indeed getting easier to speak with this part of me and remind her we now have a symbiotic relationship.

Yes, even “those who”.

Every part of life, every person, every being has Life Source in it.  No matter how hidden.  Ignored.  Unknown.  Neglected.

These incoming energies are allowing us to Remember that all Life is sacred.  I feel it.

I KNOW it.

It doesn’t matter what one has done.  Or not done.

All Life Is Sacred.  No exceptions.

Hard to accept at times?

Oh god, yes.

When those “yeah but’s” kick in, acknowledge the story.  The emotions. Then Remember.  Get quiet.  And go within to search for that Light within the other.

I did that today.  It was a challenge.  Ego said all sorts of things but I held space in my heart until the softening occurred.  And it was then that I remembered how wonderful this feels.

So much better than being in judgment and critical.

Doesn’t feel so good in the body.

All Life Is Sacred.

All this means is every living thing has a piece of Source.  A piece of Us.

As we continue to return to this way of Being, it will soften and heal every one of us so that the illusion of separation just drifts away.  Feels like we are being called to fall in love with life again, doesn’t it?  Every piece of it. Makes me wants to just run outside, roll around in the grass and giggle loudly and large, hugging myself.  And everyone I see.  Remember doing this?

Of course you do.

We all do.

Reminds me of the song Blow Away (George Harrison).  All I’ve got to do is to Love (you, me all of it!).  All of us doing this is making for a really beautiful reality.

Peace everyone~


George Harrison – Blow Away


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Today’s Energies ~ August 10, 2017: Remembering The Child Within


Human, Children, Girl, Hat, Together

Well another day where I have been off about the calendar day.  Each day has a “feeling” to me and this one felt like Friday just as yesterday felt like Thursday.  The calendar ~ well SOME calendar as I somehow lost the one in our kitchen and have made no attempt to replace it or look for it ~ says Thursday.  I’m still sticking by my “today is Friday” though.  In perhaps the New Reality.

The Schumann Spiking today and corresponding energies had me thinking about returning to my Original Self ~ the one who I was before I experienced trauma’s, made some decisions that were not in my Highest or best interest.  The girl, the Being within the woman who is trusting, deeply kind and compassionate, giggly and silly and even naive in some ways.  Today I was hit hard again by how much I miss her.  I don’t like this apathetic, doubting, distrustful person I have become over the years.  This is NOT WHO I AM.  It happened slowly.  I really didn’t even notice it. Which is why I didn’t notice it until much later.

I want her to come home again.  I want her to come out and play again. Embrace the world again.  Embrace life.  Adult Wise Woman there when needed or necessary.

Along these lines I received some help in this area this week.

We have new neighbors, very close to our home, who also have a little girl. Our girl and their girl have played together several times already.  The joy it is bringing me watching these two girls play is growing.  Expanding in my heart.  It is bringing me such pure joy in seeing my girl so happy. There has not been a girl her age in this neighborhood since we moved here and oh how we have intended – both of us – for a girl her age to move in.  Just one week ago, at the end of the rope was I in trying to arrange play dates with other parents.  Block after block kept falling in place until I said I had to let it go and Surrender.  Trust.  Allow that the Universe would provide an answer to the intentions of both myself and my girl for the right child for her to play with.  Be besties with.

One week ago this was.

And now today we have created this, manifested such a situation.  A perfect situation.  I don’t know who is more excited over this – me or my girl.  Slumber parties.  Giggles.  Dress-up.  Barbies.

And while I am receiving a gift in expanding my joy again, opening up my heart in new ways in observing the happiness in my daughter, I am also receiving a gift through my interactions with the mother.  She radiates kindness, maternal softness, joyful enthusiasm.  In the past I would likely have pushed the experience away.  But today I find myself savoring it. As we spoke about the city north of here ~ where we both lived and hung out at the same or similar places ~ I could feel my inner girl being return. Excitement building.  A few times we both giggled and got excited ~ just as I did when I was younger.


It hit me quite hard how powerful this was for me.  How healing it was for me.  This gift from the Universe is not just about my daughter.  It is also about her mama.

At this point, whatever my Higher Self and Source send my way to heal, I welcome for nothing is more important to me than that I release all of the stuff that has kept me from Being Who I Really Am.

My Request For Help


After having my own intuitive feeling for awhile now and then having one of you “sensing” the same thing, I have decided to see a Shaman.  There is a local woman in my area who I have spoken with and she charges $50/session.  I just need the money to do so.  So if any of you feel the desire to do so, I could really use the donations to see her.  I have felt “stuck” (fragmented is more the word) with an issue for over 25 years and things like counseling and even energy/body work have not helped.  I had an intuitive read a couple of years back by a man who saw the same “stuckness” and while he claimed to remove it (he was not a Shaman and his technique was far too simple in my mind), I noticed no improvement. Just more of an “oh yes now I see”.

Anyway, it would mean a lot to me.  I want so much to be healed.  Thank you!


Once Again With Feeling ~ NOW is the Time To Intend Our Desired Outcome


I was listening to a video awhile ago that spoke of alchemy and a couple of corporations that create technology that has enabled the elite to see the future outcomes of their plans and adjust accordingly.  Pretty sick and twisted, but no surprise.  Heard of this practice years ago.  And yet because we HUGELY outnumber them and because so many of us are awakened ~ I would say well over half of the entire population can at LEAST feel within how wrong – certainly “off” everything is.

It is time to step up and INTEND our desired outcome.  Master Alchemists we are.  Awesome usage of Energy.  We do it ALL THE TIME with our own thoughts.  Which is why for so long, nothing changed, nothing improved. Our internal dialogue went something like this: “they have too much power.  i don’t have the time/energy/knowledge/ability.  other’s can do it.”

etc. etc. etc.

Most of us know different though.  Know different.  DO different.

This court case involving the State against Heather Tucci-Jarraf, which I see as a case against you and me – all of us – and our right to freedom and sovereignty – has the controllers scrambling what to do.  Their desired outcomes are not turning out as planned.  Too many of us know.  Too many have awakened.  The Many have stood up and are taking back their power.  Plus we have some amazing very Powerful Beings at the helm of this, working diligently on our behalf to bring down this Ozland Curtain.

So let us intend they back down, drop these ridiculous, fraudulent charges, release Heather.  Release Randy (Randall Beane).  And grant us the rightful access to our TDA’s (Treasury Direct Accounts).  Whatever you wish to label them, this is money used to trade in OUR names using OUR personal identifying information.  Without permission.

The very definition of Fraud and Theft.

Intend a peaceful, righteous outcome vibrating in the Most High.

All Is Well for You and I.


Thank you~


Focusing on Joy ~ Focusing On What I Want and Desire


Ascension, Celestial, Planet, Heaven

Universe is speaking to me at lightening speed lately ~ I am having a difficult time keeping up.  Much of it is coming through some of you, my wonderful readers.  Today’s power message, well #1 (cause I had another come to me as well) is “I Create My Own Reality”.

This is one of those “no duh” philosophies, and yet I have been on the fence with this one.  On one hand I want to believe it, somewhere within I DO believe it, and on the other hand I think “yeah but what about xyz dark powers doing this and doing that and interfering with MY reality”.

Then I think back to this video I watched a couple of years ago that showed atoms changing based just on ATTENTION.  Given the human body is compromised of, on average, seven billion billion billion atoms (made up of hydrogen, oxygen and carbon – which is changing of course), this overwhelmingly shows the power we have just with our ATTENTION and INTENTION.

This has risen in me again over the TDA event I continue to watch.  I gotta admit, as much as I desire this, feeeeeel it and have envisioned such a gift for humanity going back over 20 years, I also pause and think “the people who have created this fraudulent system, under our names and personal information to make a lot of money, are not going to walk away quietly.  If at all.  And…how can we find a court system, of which all are under the system of fraud, willing to acknowledge paperwork filed?”

And then I had a thought occur to me.  All throughout these TDA messages, there is a running theme of being in alignment with abundance for this gig to work.  Not from ego but from Source.  Heart.  One of the people, on their own doing, was being rather rude and nasty about this TDA stuff.  He was upset with people asking a lot of questions and many not following his guidance.  In a nutshell he dropped a lot of nasty words in a recent video, telling people they were on their own, he was not gonna help as he once did.  Something in me said he better watch himself as he was no longer in the spirit of this movement.  To have frustration and anger is one thing of course (been there done that as have all of us) but to spew it out and attack your very viewers went up to another level and I immediately felt was going to have ramifications if he did not chill and do some healing/reflection.

I did my focused best to remain neutral without judgement, just feeling the observation I received.

Sure enough, he did have a very challenging life-opening/altering situation occur a couple weeks later.  He has returned, more humble.

All of this tells me it is indeed our thoughts individually AND collectively that is changing this system.  Being of Higher Vibration is assisting in bringing down the corruption.  Sending out ripples of loving frequencies, intending for those who have created this system that has been exposed, is going to have an impact.  Either they make new choices upon reflection or else they simply weaken and go away.  The incoming high frequency energies (another piece to follow on that by James Gilliland) combined with our own IS enough to bring down the house of cards and create abundance energy and systems for ALL.

Through attention.

And intention.

As I add after I make a new intention for myself:






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