Spiritual New Age Dogma


I’m going to put on the opinion hat for this one.  After seeing this surge recently of people talking about how the storms and earthquakes and wildfires were meant to cause destruction and suffering so we will continue to learn and then last night listening to a video where the person claims when all of this is over we will THANK the cabal for their technologies that caused so much destruction because we needed to have the experience that resulted from their lies and technology because it helps us grow.

Pass me the vomit bag please and then the punching bag.

Yes, I know ~ such anger and words I am expressing are not spiritually-inclined.  According to some.  I’m supposed to be all love and light right now, in all ways at all times, correct?

I guess that depends on how you define love.

I feel I am coming to this conclusion that as we continue to morph, ascend, change ~ we will all be vibing into our own realities.  I heard it explained the other night it’s like a radio station.  Whatever “station” we resonate with, vibrate to, that’s where we will Be.

(For eons we have been stuck on one station – now the bandwidth is about to explode wide open again!  Yippie!!)

Those who believe in the concept that one must experience devastation and destruction and trauma and abuse in order to know love will continue on with that journey into their own reality.  Those who believe ~ no – those who KNOW we are love and certainly do not need to experience the previous ~ who want the hell out of this prison enslavement system ~ we will be going to our own reality as well.

Yes, I hear the separation is ending.  I agree.  However, given we are One but obviously not the same, people are not going to be on the same page… and that’s ok.  People are going to be experiencing TRUE freedom resulting FROM the end of this separation game (simulated matrix system) to live and be as they choose.  I personally continue to remove beliefs.  Rules.  Expectations.  Instead I am keeping my desires simple.  I want to be free to live as I feeeeeeel in my heart while respecting other’s right to live the same.

It is that simple.  For me anyway.

I absolutely will not embrace any concept that says people must be abused, children must be kidnapped and sexually assaulted for their Soul to grow and learn.  NONSENSE.

And I wish for these otherwise well-meaning folks would stop spreading these thoughts.  They are creating fear, spreading dogma, completely discounting people’s experiences (you aren’t a victim of anything and you need to forgive your abuser because you agreed to contract with this individual to learn or whatever dogma they follow) and the people’s need to heal and lowering vibrational frequencies of Gaia.  It serves no purpose. Using their line of thinking, if we really do contract with such individuals in order to learn and grow, then we really shouldn’t interfere with these situations of abuse if we witness them or know of them, right? We should just let it all play out – the one doing the abusing and the one being abused.  They have a contract after all and need to learn a lesson (especially the one being harmed). Regardless of whether the individual is a small child.

See how insane such thinking is?

Dogma is dogma.  Programming to keep us living low and dimly instead of high and bright.  Such dogma as mentioned above is no different than the guilt-inducing, finger-pointing dogma found in the bible and inside church walls.  Doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a Buddhist Temple or a Sufi Circle.  Dogma is dogma.  And if it doesn’t resonate from the purity of Love and Kindness, I am not having it.

I for one am done with all that does not resonate with loving kindness.

I take the return of ME and my Freedom and ALL THAT I AM back again. The way I once was.

The way I know we all once were.



Going Back 18 Years


My brother sent me a copy of an e-mail I sent him back in September of 1999 ~ 18 years ago.  I had opened up to him at the time about some of the visions I held for a different world/society/way of being.  At the time I was not sure how I would go about being part of such a movement.  It is interesting to me today to see my own words, in particular my thoughts on money in which I stated I had visions for a society without money.

18 years later and I have this site and I am witnessing a mass movement away from a monetary-based society.  What a divine gift, a moment of validation for not only my own visions I am seeing manifest, but to see how those visions have remained firm in my heart all these years.  I never gave up.

And I never will.

Here is an excerpt:

really difficult for me in many ways to live in the world and do the normal thing.  work m-f.  marriage.  kids.  don’t get me wrong.  i want fulfilling work.  to marry again.  have a child.  but i’ve always felt this inner restlessness to do more – and to do it all MY way.  i completely believe and feel the thoughts and visions i’ve had can bring people together.  …  one is the elimination of money.  …  i’ve just always felt currency as we know it has got to go.  

Hurtin’ Today ~ Ouch Ouch Ouch


Backpain, Back Pain, Back, Pain

So the schumann isn’t doing anything significant – after several days of 40hz plus spikes.

Must be catch-up time for I’m feelin’ the results today.  As KP put it – these upgrades sometimes create some physical pain (!!) and it is those times to visualize releasing whatever energy is stuck there.

Also received this message this morning (private message):  Love this quote from article .. “As you clear away dross of past history karma, and traumatic wounding, your zero point vacuum initiates new cellular growth ( electrons) in its place . All of existence originates as energy waves looping in coherence, storing quantum packets of electrical charge that materializes as physical matter ( spinning atoms) the electrification of matter produces creative renewal, self- generating VITALITY HEALTH AND WELL BEING” And so it is ❤️❤️❤️


This is certainly a baby-myself day.  Heat.  Stretching. Rubbing/massaging.  Grounding/earthing.  Lots of lemon water.  Going to the pain and visualizing/tuning in to see what’s there and releasing it.

And lots of movement.  My arms and legs want to move – some of this movement punching motions.

Growing pains in this Now moment.


Trip To The Park To Soothe The Soul


So I decided to pack up the car with food, beverages, journals, phone and child to head to the park to clear my head ~ and most importantly (at the time) to be left alone in silence.

You know the saying.  Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.

We arrive and for higher reasons, other mama’s were sort of “drawn” to me for conversation.  Not a typical experience for me when visiting the park.  After a couple of rather short conversations, I headed back to the picnic bench, intending to pull out my journal and write for a time before phoning one of my favorite peeps to talk to when I’m having a moment.  Another mama had sat down at the end of the bench on the other side.  She smiled as I sat down and asked if she was taking up too much space.  No, I said, smiling back.

Well next thing I know we’re engaged in this authentic, deep conversation about life and all things REAL.  I keep thinking “she looks so familiar” and turns out she was thinking the same.  She mentions she’s an LMT and that’s when it hit me – she was the last massage therapist I saw about two years ago.  I remember at the time wanting a quiet massage but instead the two of us chatted as though we had known one another previously.

Today the conversation was no different.  It was wonderful and blissful/magical in a way.  It was the kind of authentic connecting I CRAVE and NEED.  I even found myself sharing what had been bothering me this week.  While I am a pretty open-book when I am comfortable with someone, it is completely unlike me to share such details so soon like that.

Perhaps this is part of the New Earth.  There are no rules.  No judgments. No social “norms”.  We just let ourselves BE.  Allow ourselves to BE however we feel in the moment.

I happily await the continuation of the conversation with my new friend. It helped soothe my heart that was feeling the wounds of the old programmed thoughts of my worth.  It quieted my own judgments I still hold towards others as well.  And it reminded me I am never alone.

It was…perfect.

Goin’ With The Flow ~ No Matter How The Flow Feels


Cat, British Shorthair, Grumpy, Offended

Oh, after having such a beautiful dream experience last night where I was in the new earth realm, connecting with others, absolutely no stress, no outside systems of control or power ~ waking up feeling so lovely and calm and peaceful.  The way I know I can and am desiring to.

But then stuff starts coming up.  I have had several experiences in just the last 3 days of people stepping all over my boundaries.  And yes I spoke up and asserted myself – but when does that stop trolls from making the initial intrusion?  I am quite a simple person in some ways.  I do not like intrusion or questioning.  I have stated verbally to those closest to me:  If you feel I need help or support, ask what I need.

Simple, right?

But this dynamic of some having absolutely no sense of boundaries asking their questions and when I either choose not to answer or supply an answer that isn’t of their liking, it still makes me want to fucking scream and punch someone’s lights out but good when my personal truth is not respected.  Again ~ask me what I need but never assume to know what is best or right for me.

I have been questioned about choices I am making.  I am an adult.  I am perfectly capable of communicating my needs.  I accept those who fall into the category of “family” (a term I use very lightly anymore) as they are.  It ain’t forthcoming back at me.  Again ~ want to help me?  Listen as I speak my needs.  If not, at this point in my life, shut the fuck up and go the fuck away.

The anger runs deep.  And I have to acknowledge her and give her a voice. For 48 hours I have silenced her with soothing words and by speaking thoughts of “do not let this trigger you – let it go – just let it go – we are beyond this – we KNOW the truth of who we are”.  Helps for a bit until it comes back up – this week it has come back up because I had another episode put into my experience late last night that brought up over 20 years of “stuff”.

All I can do is honor myself and let go of the new age spiritual dogma that turns a blind eye to the inner world of emotional repressed pain – or just pain alone – by using the tactic of soft silence – silencing the inner experience with pretty unicorns and love and light (false love and light).  I am completely aware of my “stuff” at this point.  I know what I need to do.  And I am also fed the fuck up with having anyone in my life who doesn’t honor me or respect me.  If you’re still knee deep in programming, especially when it comes to human relating, go away.

I feel the need to create a giant sign and wear it.  It will say something like “Old Victoria is no longer open for your business”.

In the meantime, purge this stuff, love it as I love myself.

And put on my “do not disturb grumpy cat” hat.

Onwards we go….


Deep Breath ~ Takin’ A Collective CHIIIIILLL


Dovetail, Papilio Machaon, Butterfly

Recently I have been sensing and seeing the emotions and words of others on how to get this “Ascension” thing “right”.  It is safe to say most of us are feeling something big is happening right now and I am not just talking about the activities of Gaia ~ artificial or otherwise.  For me it’s a feeling that I’m about ready to take a leap – but to “where” or how remains a mystery.  It is a knowing I am following.  It’s a feeling of being at the end of a particular phase while awaiting for the door for the new to open.  This time it is a very big door ~ or at least the result feels “BIG”. That is my current experience.

All that being said, I am sensing anxiety and seeing it in people’s words on social media.  Here is just some of what I am reading:

“Should I give up eating meat to Ascend?”

“Do I need to meditate in order to receive downloads?”

“I’m still feeling angry or confused.  I am having doubt.  Is this ok?”

“Do I need to make my focus love and light right now as much as possible?”

Do I/should I/Is this ok…


I am speaking ONLY for myself as I try to do on this site when I say “take a chill.  It’s OK.  YOU ARE OK AS YOU ARE.”

This is not a journey of getting it “right” or doing it “wrong”.  At least that is not the journey I am choosing to take nor is it the approach I am choosing to take.

Even WHEN I have the concerns and questions above.

I really feel Ascension is a RIGHT and not something we have to earn.

That being said, it can obviously be painful and we all have experiences where we feel forced to look at something and either make the decision to keep on the way we are or make a new choice.

A choice.  Ascension is a CHOICE.  It isn’t dependent upon anyone else’s experiences or opinions or rules.  It is truly an individual experience and those who claim to have the golden ticket or project their own thoughts on what’s right or wrong are engaging in more of the programmed thoughts of separation.

I will leave this one with a caption I read this morning (paraphrased):

Each of us can be seen as butterflies.

Some fly higher than others.

But each has a purpose.

Each one, special.

Each one, beautiful.

So no need to compare.

Sending you all a collective Hug.


A Moment of Synchronicity on this September 11, 2017 Day


This showed up on my social media feed.  It gave me chills as this morning I awoke and told my spouse that the timeline that was supposed to have been created 16 years ago has come full circle and we are back in “alignment” again.  Words don’t always suffice when trying to explain these things I feel, but this is as good as any I can come up with.  Then I see the words below an hour later.  


Interesting fact
Today is 911, Sept 11
11 years and 9 months ago today there were two hurricanes. One named Harvey and the other was Irma! They hit New York and DC causing a great deal of damage.
Is this the reverse 911 we have been awaiting? Food for Thought. 

CME’s and Schumann Kickin’ My Ass


Cat, Cat Face, Sleep, Exhausted

I was going to use another noun at the end of the title, but it is fitting for what I am experiencing this weekend, today in particular.


An intensity of a whole new level.

Woozy and floaty and “what was i just doing/saying” and “where did i put there” and “where am i what day is it”.  OUT.  OF.  IT.

Get out of bed?  Really??!!

We are headed to a block party here shortly.  Really?  My motivation is free food and I don’t have to cook dinner.  I did however manage to put together an apple/blueberry crumble.  Don’t ask me to share that experience.  I don’t really recall very well putting it together.  But I did. And it’s in the oven and smells delish!

Another thing – MAJOR deja vu’s – two today already.  I feel like all of these separate experiences of me are bringing brought back together, also inducing a feeling of “I have been experiencing this loop over and over and over again” and now ALL is merging back into ONE.

That is as good of an explanation as I can provide you.

Now here is an interesting deal.  Which I will finish when I return as I just realized I need to go pick up my child…

Back.  Continuing on w/the interesting deal…  Had interesting talk with my child’s friend mama.  She isn’t really into any of this but is very open to it and I have a feeling she will be into it from here on out.  She is experiencing strange sensations in her body and mind. Feeling light-headed and woozy.  So I shared with her briefly about ascension and the Schumann and the CME’s.

And speaking of the Schumann ~ check this out:

Schumann Resonance Today


Spikes peaking at 40hz.

Combine that with these back to back intense CME’s that show no signs of letting up, and what you have is Beautiful Ascension and All Returning To One with Source Frequencies Behind it All.

As I told my friend (and need to hear it myself):  REST.  GROUND.  DRINK (water).  BE.  Short term memory is about shot at this point which means zero point NOW is oh so close.

And guess the lyrics of the song I am NOW hearing on my child’s cartoon?  “Things are changin’ and that’s ok…”

I will leave it at that.

Much love ~



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Post Eclipse Thoughts


Spinning Wheel, Spindles

I was speaking with a neighbor today who I haven’t seen since just prior to the eclipse.  We were sharing our personal experiences, each agreeing it was a magical beautiful moment and given it was something that reached people globally, the feeling of connection, of Oneness was palpable.  I told her how this was how we are supposed to be living – much more in Unity Consciousness, gathering together regularly, on our own, instead of waiting for some outside event to Unite us.

I was happy to see how she resonated with this.

So naturally I think “So why not do just that?”

Each week, each day, remember the Magic of that day and call it up.  And know others are doing the same.  Clap.  Giggle.  Hoot and holler.

Ever since that day, I have had such a strong desire to continue the experience, but not alone.  I want to BE in that state of magic – daily.  And I want to experience it with others.

Ideas?  Suggestions?

It’s like a new level of magic and connection was felt that day and oooooh how I want – how I need to be in that state with self and others.  How I am ready to Allow myself to have that experience.

Today after doing some food shopping, my girl and I walked to the park that’s across from the store.  There was a woman spinning fabric onto a wooden spinner.  Fascinating!  Well, for me.  I tried getting my girl interested in watching, but she was more intent on climbing the benches and playing in the trees.  So while she did that, I had the absolute delight in speaking with this woman and listen as she explained to me about the different fabrics she is working with.  I thought back to my feeble attempt at learning to sew when I was in junior high.  I received a C for effort (all the other girls received A’s).  I am much more open to my creative/crafty side today of course, having dove into that in my 20’s.  As I spoke with this woman, I began having a vision of spending my days doing such interaction.  Learning.  Creating.  Sharing.  We spoke of returning to some of the practical ways, sewing being one of them.  Crochet (another difficult task for me to “get” – even today).  Real connecting.  Heart-based creating.

Daily.  A way of Being instead of just a random experience we happen to encounter, Divinely guided by the Universe after buying chocolate and sauerkraut.

And so it was and is on this day, weeks after the eclipse, 9/9, which includes my ongoing thoughts/intentions for Irma and our human family in Florida.


(naturally this song went through my mind as i drove home)

Deep Breaths


Taking them in and out.  Today had another PITA (pain in the ass) moment.  This one cost me $149.50.  And the new printer that was gifted to me is having printing issues (cartridge).  Mate also having a stress-related health issue at the moment too.

Deep breathes, Victoria.  The money will get replaced.

I began doing work with the Shaman ~ at a distance for now as she is out of town for a couple of weeks.  Have no intention of stopping that so Divine Abundance, Financial Blessings are forthcoming with much thanks.

Other than that, I awoke shaking – the whole cells vibing.  And had a couple of heart palpitations.  Solar blasts.  I was deeply exhausted but this little “expense” took up most of my day.  I did have a glimpse of the new earth this morning and there was some question about the house I have seen but I cannot recall what it was.  It was so fleeting – just as I wanted to know more the sounds of “elmo’s world” interrupted.

Ah…………..ok then………

The house has been saged.  Frankinsense, myrrh and copal resin is burning.  Dinner, cooked.  Child tended to (past couple of days has had mama occupied elsewhere).  And for now, I am done with any “doing”.  Being is the talk of the moment.

That is all for now.