Authenticity Required


I read a recent piece by Kauilapele where he shares his “PITA” (pain in the ass) moments, allowing his teenager or 2 year old self to have the moment then allowing Higher Self to return.

I had to laugh.  I love the authenticity of such stories.  I value them.  There are people who blog of ascension and they don’t share those personal moments of UGH.  I wish they would.

Ascension – Remembering – any kind of self growth journey is messy at times. There are moments of purity and moments of pure mess.  Kinda like my kitchen.  Sometimes it is pristine, floors and counters sparkling. Other moments dishes are everywhere and somehow globs of sticky have found their way onto the floor.

Here is my authentic PITA moment of today.  I am the type of Being who prefers to ease into my day.  I am not one to jump out of bed, dive into activity and nor do I resonate with having company first thing ~ especially the unannounced kind.  I laugh as I type this but I really deeply need and value a slow, quiet start to my day.  Most days I have that.

Today was not one of them.

Our dear neighbor, who is retired, widowed and always in search of a project, came over wanting us to help him with his doorbell, which was on the fritz.  I opted to stay here and get breakfast started while my mate and little one went to help him out.  Somehow, don’t ask me how, I don’t know, I didn’t ask and I still don’t know, this turned into us dealing with our own doorbell issue.  Next thing I know, lights are being turned on to get a close-up look of our doorbell parts.  Amp meters are brought over to test ours out.  Door is opening, shutting.  Opening, shutting.  Talking. Lots of talking.  More lights need to be turned on.  Then the batteries need to be checked.

Did I say there was a lot of talking going on??

Talk about sensory overload.  For me.  For the start of my day.  I am not exaggerating.  It was chaotic and overwhelming.  As I’m cooking breakfast, the thought “i don’t care about the damn doorbell” kept going through my mind.  Can’t it wait?  Like say until 10pm when I really come alive?

I remained quiet.  Calm.

After almost 40 minutes, the doorbell situations, his and ours, were resolved.  At least the next plan of action for both houses had been decided.  Breakfast was ready.  Family sat down to eat.

Then mate and child began to talk.  About doorbells.


Eyes got big.  I looked at them…

…And had a 2-year-old PITA reaction.

“Can we PLEASE just have a few moments of SILENCE??!!” I said, to surprised looks by both members of my family.

The two year old was not done.  She had more to say.

“I did not get my quiet this morning.  I cannot DO that level of activity first thing in the morning.  OK?!”

It was not one of my better moments.  But I saw it for what it was.  And a little while later, my state of Inner Calm had returned and I went about my day.

And so it goes…


On Greed ~ I State To Source: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


Horse, Herd, Fog, Nature, Wild, Equine

A neighbors house went up for sale 7 days ago.  What we witnessed was nothing short of sickening.  Herds of locusts (people) rampaged the place by the hour.  Hour after hour.  Day after day.  At times until late in the evening.  Lines of people at times. Those with the mostest getting the bestest.



Housing is our Sovereign Right.

So says Source.

So says Victoria.

And no one argues with either.

Let the TRUTH of ALL that has been hidden from us be revealed NOW for ALL TO SEE.

Go Time is NOW.

This is Source in Victoria stating:  GREED ENDS NOW

Return to our Sovereignty begins NOW.

The debt enslavement and pay-to-live corruption ends NOW.


Not tomorrow.  But NOW.

Time is up.

Freedom for all.

Sovereignty for all.


I command it so.

I request you do the same.

Share it.

Link it.

Chant it daily.



Just do it.

Thank you.

Standing in my Sovereignty…

Reverence to you all~



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Energetically FLAT LINED


this is what i really need to be doing…right now.  had dreams of purging energy bubbles out of my mouth, via my heart center.  engaged in some deep releases earlier.  i always did love my sleep and cozy bed but this is getting ridiculous!  anyway ~ silence from me for now…


Sleep, Bed, Woman, Bedroom, Sleeping

Being in Full Faith


There is a trait I most admire in others ~ those who are of absolute faith. I am not one of those people ~ yet.  A lifetime (likely lifetimes) of intending and having visions has lead to many dates coming and going, dead ends that lead to new paths.  Along the way, much disappointment.  Obviously I still Believe enough or else I would not have this site nor would I share my heart and thoughts.

I had a couple of incidents happen today where I see how the term “oh ye of little faith” applies to me.  I know what’s behind it.  I know the pain.  I feel it.  I let it out.  Where I am struggling is how do I rebuild?

What would I tell my girl?

Believe in yourself ~ even if the rest of the world, the people, the system, is showing a different result or reality.

So ok.  Let’s take a step with that one…

I am hoping, I am seeing…. some of the ideas I have shared over the last couple of decades, the visions and the like are finally going to transpire here shortly.

Those who have hung in there long enough with me know of my issue with money.  Typing that brings out a deep sigh.  No worries ~ I am not going to go on another rant.

I will say ~ I am ready to have this struggle eliminated.

I have done the intentions.  The mantra’s.  Thought outside of the box. Inside the box.  Put myself out there.  Then hide.  Press repeat.

An inner voice has kept telling me “hang in there keep going relief is coming”.  For a very.  Long.  Time.  lol

I have been following very carefully this intel on the OPPT and the TDA’s. (For the basics and latest, here is a good link ~ which I may have already shared.  Memory tells me I may have shared this recently but I am not sure.)  We listened to an updated recorded skype call last night (of which you can find the link to on the above shared link).  According to the information, this is a done deal and all will be able to access and use our funds – without threat or hassle or blocks – this week.  Yeah, I am putting that out there, even though a part of me says not to as the LAST thing I want to do is create any sort of disappointment in any of you.

But if I am going to walk my talk and share what I BELIEVE to be true ~ even if it turns out to be bullshit or off in any way ~ so be it.  Because I have had visions starting in my 20’s ~ long ago ~ of being liberated $$ and living in a way where the stress of “how will I pay for this afford that” is eliminated.  I had become apathetic and burned out following all of this speak about the RV, NESARA/GESARA and the like.  Dates coming and going.  On going behavior of “just wait we are almost there” year after year, behavior that played on people’s hopes.  And then I began to think ~ this is just another system where someone else controls the money.

Who the hell wants more of the same, even if it comes with some pretty unicorns for awhile?

I know I was guided to this information on the OPPT. Why?  I don’t know for sure (hence the “absolute faith” topic).  But I resonate completely and fully with it.  It’s about US being in charge.  We – answering only to ourselves.  (And in time we will move away from money altogether. Another vision/knowing.)

Humanity is owed the blessing of abundance.  Is this about money?  Yes and no.  Yes in that money does eliminate stress and provides much needed ease ~ certainly when the things you wish to do need money to create.  As Forrest Gump says when he’s told he won’t have to worry about money anymore, he responds simply:  One less thing to worry about.  No in that at the heart and core, this is about Remembering our Abundance. It provides the open door to Remembering this experience of Abundance.

For this is just the beginning of a new way of Being for ALL humanity.

By removing the struggle of lack and going-without, we are given the beautiful opportunity to heal from these issues, which are both very real-world created and self-created.  We are given the opportunity as well to remember our Worth.  We see how we have been screwed over royally and thus, we can easily put aside our benign differences and start remembering our Unity.

Start living the way we once did.  And are meant to.

That’s why we are here.

To Live and Be Who We REALLY are.

We Each Are Owning Our Stairway To Heaven


Couple of things.

One ~ this most beautiful song of all time has been on my mind and in my heart daily, hourly at times.

Two ~ sitting outside on this rather hot day (some of us melt when it gets much above 82), I glanced over at my mate.  “I have all these new readers and nothing to say today.”

Ah, famous last words, Victoria.

Awhile later I am inside engaged in some mindless activity ~ making the bed ~ and the terms “spiritual maturity” and “discernment” go through my mind.  I pause and wait for the story to come.  It always does so I go grab my digital voice recorder I have learned to always keep handy and begin speaking the flow of words that inner part of me that is remembering wishes to share.

Something about others saying “Be spiritually mature.  Use your discernment” bothers me.  I realized something.  Using discernment and being discerning is not about spiritual “maturity” (whatever that really means anyway) but more about survival in these lower dimensional times/experiences.

I was taken, again, back to that physical incarnation experience I have termed “Lemuria” only because I do not have any other words.  It was that experience, the last I believe, where we lived in true high frequency resonance with ourselves, one another and with our environment and surroundings.  To cause harm to another was not part of our Being.  We saw one another as we saw ourselves ~ Source.  Pure.  To harm another would mean to harm ourselves as we each “saw” the energy that binds us all and when creating harm or disconnect, we Intuitively knew it would lower the frequency for us all.

All lived in this manner.  Therefore, discernment was not necessary. It is quite possible we were not imprinted with this tool, not as we are in this Now experience that is.  And this is me defining discernment as the ability to ascertain truth when picking through experiences of possible lies, deception and lower vibrational frequency information and behaviors.

Naive perhaps ~ not needing discernment?  Who cares.  It’s what I experienced and I believe there is truth to be found in the energies of naivety.

This explains why, in part, we were conquered and altered.  I have written of this before so I have no desire to share my perspective on this one again.  What I will add though was that this was a level of harm that was completely foreign to us.

As we return to our State of Source Energy, via remembering, releasing, healing and all that, we will have that energetic imprint into our Soul of discernment.  And I have a feeling that will carry with us for all experiences to come, ensuring we do not get “fooled” again.

As I listen to Stairway to Heaven I hear messages of ascension, of alchemy, or purity and naivety.  Like this “lady who’s sure”, we are each building our own Stairway to Heaven, in our own way.



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A Pledge of Allegiance For All


i never did much care for the american/system version…so i came up with a new one

I pledge Allegiance
to my Higher Self,
the Source of All That Is.
As I commit to Remembering
All that I AM
I live my Truth
more each day…
And quietly inspire
those around me
to do the very same.

It is so.

It is done.

I Manifested Boysenberries


The harvest (after two females enjoyed a feast).  

That’s the best title I can come up because that is indeed what I was able to do tonight, only not in the way most of you are probably thinking.

Before the berry manifest, I had engaged in a one-way conversation with my Higher Self on paper.  I was angry and I let loose.  Did not hold back.  I wrote how I felt I was doing most of this journey alone and I am tired of the struggle.  I questioned how the “f” am I to Remember it all when my energetic memory was wiped.  I intend daily that I remember my abilities and who I am.  I demanded – show yourself.  Prove yourself to me.  I want to Remember.  I want to KNOW.  I wrote out every last bit of frustration until I had nothing left.  I sat there for awhile, did some breathing and went about the task of getting my child an ice cream cone.

About 30 minutes later, she and I headed out on a walk.  As we headed home, we walked by a house that has several boysenberry bushes.  The people who own the house are generous and have invited us to pick from the bushes whenever we want.  My girl asked if we could pick and I said we didn’t have any containers.  Boysenberries are not the type of berry you pick and place in your pocket.  So as we head past the house, the front door opens and out steps the husband.  “Hey girls,” he said “aren’t you going to pick some berries?”

I said “we don’t have any containers, but thank you ~ next time.”  He said “hold it right there,” disappears inside and reappears with two containers.

“Thank you!  That’s really kind of you,” I said.  (I should add I had this strange little feeling inside – the kind of quiet when you feel you are being guided and to just go along without questioning.  It’s hard to explain in words as it is purely a subtle feeling I receive.)

So little one and I go to check out the bushes.  At first we really didn’t see much.  We glanced over the spots we have normally picked on and just didn’t see anything.  Then something weird happened.  My girl walked back out into the street, I looked over at her, call her back and then as she headed back my way I felt a slight shift inside my body.  I then look back at the bush and I swear to you – the thing was laden with berries.

W O W.

I call my girl over and said “check this out!” and as she looks at the bush she said “wow mom there are berries!  Where did they come from?!”

We began to pick and I felt that quiet voice and feel within that left me with the impression that THIS is one of my abilities.  Instant manifestation.  And it was not something I forced.  It happened on its own.  In the flow.  It required no special meditation or crystals or chanting.  It was seriously easy and effortless.  Well other than following the flow of Source that brought the guy out to speak with us and offer us containers to pick from his berry bushes.

Also of interest ~ I had this inner feeling I could have manifested MORE berries if I had been in my Pure Being state of Worth.  If I had Intended more from this state.  Even though we were invited to pick berries, I have this issue with feeling guilt when I help myself to something that isn’t on my property ~even when it is offered to me.  Something needing to be examined and healed.

I am like a kid in a candy store with stuff like this.  I want to expand on this ability. I am super curious to see what will happen next.  In the dream-state experiences I have had of myself in that higher dimensional realm, on this New Earth experience, I did see myself having instant manifestation and while my Self in the dream was not surprised, the part of me still in this third dimensional reality was.

And of course I also gave thanks to my Higher Self.  Humbly apologized.  I really do wish to feel her more.  I really do strongly desire to Remember and to feel and experience and relearn how to use my abilities, in particular instant manifestation.  And yet I know the blocks to this are false beliefs needing healed and released by me, beliefs such as there is not enough to go around and how I am to make sure everyone else has their share before I take anything.  That and the thought I am not as worthy as others are in having their heart’s desire.

Oh ouch, ouch ouch on those, especially that last one.  As we say around here:  Time to change the record!

Also of note ~ last night before drifting off to sleep I had this question pop in my mind – what power would I like to Remember and Utilize.  It was a toss-up between healing myself and instant manifestation, with the very slight leaning towards the instant manifestation ability.

Will I experience this again tomorrow?  Tonight?  Next week?  Next month?  I don’t know.  It’s up to me.  Supposedly from what I have read, our ability to manifest is becoming easier.  All I know is I had a berry manifestation experience that I cannot explain with my human mind.

The proof is almost two pints of delicious boysenberries.

And another human/ego/spiritual experience of humble Remembering and healing.


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My Commentary On The Prosperity Funds Drama


House, Blockhouse, Tree, Balance Beam

I had not wanted to comment on this subject, but given some of the drama and judgment being tossed around, I have chosen to speak out.

I feel most of you know what I am speaking about.  I do not want to assume though.  I am referring to not only Nesara/Gesara and the currency re-evaluation(s) but the various trust accounts and prosperity packages.

At this point, I only see one actually being implemented and that is the OPPT, or the One People’s Public Trust.  I will not be going into detail about this, mostly because this is all pretty new to me as well.  You are free to google it yourself.  You can get some basic information from this site.

The OPPT, taking steps to roll on out, has now become the target of others who have been promoting their own version(s) of financial jubilee.  I am not saying any one of these folks are “wrong”.  For me to know for sure I have to see it with my own eyes and feel it with my heart.  However, it find it highly suspicious that these folks are all crying “foul” about the OPPT and yet they continue to tell humanity we just have to continue to wait until the right time for THEIR people to give us money.

That’s essentially it in a nutshell.

All the while, those behind the OPPT continue on without engaging in finger-pointing or pleading with humanity to believe in them, follow them.  In other words, quietly going about their business.

Just something to think about…  (It would be beautiful to see all of these “let’s liberate humanity with abundance” work together, wouldn’t it?  A refresher course in Kindergarten education could be quite useful.)

For now, I am remaining the Observer, watching things play out.  I know one thing that has made itself clear: the masses have had enough.  People have had enough with this financial slavery system we all have lived under.  People have had enough suffering.  Enough struggling. They have made a collective cry of “NO MORE”.

There are stories of people paying off debts.  Paying for utility and hospital bills. Then there are some of people who are buying Tesla cars. Successfully.

And some not successfully.  It does seem to be a hit or miss and one needs to know what they are getting into if they choose to participate this early.

One thing though, more than anything I have mentioned above, that is bothering me, are the judgments coming from many private citizens on social media.  I have read comment after comment from folks who are judging people who are buying the elaborate items.  Comments range from “these funds are not to be used to make yourself rich or not have to work again” to “you are to use these funds to serve others, not yourself”.


Here is where my comments come in.

  1. Who has a right to tell someone how to spend their money (or money that is in their name)?  (answer – NO ONE)
  2. What in the heaven is so wrong about wanting to live a lavish lifestyle?  (answer – NOTHING)
  3. Why is it not appropriate for someone to want to quit their meaningless job or not NEED nor want to have to work for a living again?  (answer – it is absolutely “appropriate” to hold any of those thoughts)
  4. Why can’t people use these funds to serve themselves?  (answer – they can)
  5. Isn’t it possible to serve ourselves AND others?  (answer – of course!)
  6. And lastly, if these funds are to be used by ALL – then doesn’t that make rather moot the point that we need to share our wealth with others?

The comments I have felt both stinging and coming from the most in my heart are the comments on how some are choosing to spend their money (on otherwise perfectly legal ventures and items, just lavish in nature). When we think of ourselves as not worthy or deserving of what we desire, we serve no one.

Let me repeat that:

When we think of ourselves as not worthy or deserving of what we desire, we serve no one.

We are each worthy of and deserving of having everything our heart desires, in so long as it does not cause any undue harm to another or violate another’s inherent worth and freedom.

And when the desires are from our hearts, our choices will do none of the aforementioned.

For far too long we have been conditioned to believe we have to work hard in order to prove our worth to have the nice things physical reality has to offer.

We have been programmed to think small.  Believe small.  Be small.

Sweetheart, we are Source in physical form.  Every single one of us.

Source does not “do” small.

We are GRAND.



Worthy.  Oh, so worthy.


Just by being US.  You.  Me.

True worth is not about proving ourselves to anyone in order to obtain our hearts desires.

Not to some internet troll or still-programmed individual (unaware of their programming).

And most certainly not to the very controllers and creators of this game of deception.

This is a grand time for ALL of us to individually and collectively go within and purge out those last remnants of “worth” programming.  For I do believe standing strong and solid, quietly (or not), in our worth will absolutely help bring down this house of cards and return the decision making back where it belongs:

In Our Own Hands and Hearts.

Love and Abundance and Prosperity to Every Single One Of Us.




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This One Is For The Ladies


Beach, Feet, Summer, Sand, Sea, Vacation

I was thinking about our reproductive cycles earlier today.  While there are women my age who have stopped cycling, I continue on, setting the intention that menopause will not be in my reality.  I intend for my full shift to occur before this happens, thus allowing me to have full access again to my DNA, which includes no monthly cycles and no menopause.

I have long believed if men cycled the way we do, we would have recognized days off each month for each of us.  (Jokingly I have also said we would have monthly deliveries of chocolate, chick flicks, heating pads and for some who so indulge, wine.) Looking back I do not recall ever missing a day of school or work due to my cycles.  Not that it would not have been warranted, just that I was still under the spell of DO/BE/PRODUCE no matter how I was feeling.

When I was in my late 20’s/early 30’s, I recall reading books about celebrating our cycles.  Dr. Christiane Northrup has said for years that this is a time for us to slow down, rest, not engage in life the way we normally do.  Her words empowered me for some time.

Then I began to Remember.

Remember within my Being that prior to the beings messing with our DNA, we didn’t have these monthly cycles.  If we wanted to have a baby, we communicated this with our body and then, being in a state of love and intention to create, we so did with our mate of equal consciousness.

When I began sharing this concept, I was told that it was a nice concept but I was nuts.  I have held firm to this belief though.  I know to the deepest parts of Who I Am that I get to control my reproductive system.  I get to consciously determine when and if I wish to conceive.

Religions tell us that our cycles (as well as the pain of birth) are to punish us for our sins.  Yeah, nice try archons and all others who messed with our beautiful, perfect DNA.  We women don’t buy that line any longer.

We were born in purity.  We ARE purity.

And so let us intend as we continue to evolve, awaken, REMEMBER, that part of this process is the return of control of our reproductive cycles back to the rightful owner:  US.

Until then, I rest and slowly savor a piece of home-made dark chocolate with coconut and walnuts.



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Ssshhh ~ Do You Hear That?


Forest, Path

(isn’t this a beautiful scene?  it is very similar to the road i have seen that we live on in the new earth realm.)

Neither do I!  Silence.

I love it!

Locked back here in the bedroom, blinds open so I can watch the trees dance as the coast breeze kicks in, making for a beautiful sunset experience.

Oh that and my mate is in another part of the house and my child in bed. Well, in her bedroom.  Good enough.  I am alone and it is quiet and that makes my inner world sooooooooooo stinkin’ flippin’ happy you have no IDEEEEEEEEEEEA…….

Quite the opposite experience I felt upon awakening this morning. Agitated.


What is up with this state of agitation, I wondered.  And the dizziness. The stomach upset.

I pulled myself out from under the covers.  (I would make a great hermit, btw.)  Got online (I usually do not do that first thing but this morning something said “go do” so I listened).  First two posts on my social media page talk of these symptoms.  Extreme agitation.  Dizziness.  Stomach and g.i. distress.

Misery loves company, I grumbled, but still appreciated the validation.

Reading further again I was reminded of the importance of meditating, grounding myself.  Facing the old emotional stuff head on – it is go time.

And yet I have a feeling these old trauma’s will be removed upon the arrival of the cosmic pulse.  I know, may sound silly to some, perhaps pie-in-the-sky, but this is what I have felt and seen.  And that inner experience is still there.  So while it may seem easier, for me that is, to just wait until then, I would much rather release of my own accord, as much as I can that is.  Ignoring the issue only makes it hurt more.

I see my inner pains and trauma’s as a scared child who very much wants to join in with me and Be and play and enjoy.  But she’s, well, traumatized.  She needs reassurance.  And love.  Attention.  Lots of attention.  And quiet.  Lots of quiet.  Rest.  Lots of rest.

I’m the type who will find anything to do to distract myself from giving myself this kind of attention.  Floor needs swept.  Need to post some pieces on here.  And oh wow what is that smell coming from the sink… that needs the vinegar clean now.

Obviously the self-worth stuff coming up.  And this driving need to produce/be/do that I have continued to employ ~ long past the years of childhood upbringing and some crappy relationship experiences of the past.

Lighten up, I tell myself.  Relax.  Let go.  It’s ok.  Life is not going to fall apart, the house won’t shrivel up in a moldy stink fest, my girl won’t suffer or starve and my mate can go it on his own just because I need a good amount of alone time to nurture my needs.

Tonight in the shower I thought about this.  I ran through my mind the list of things on my “to do” list.  Gotta order supplies to make my tooth powder and body sprays and get those hooked up on etsy.  Some pictures need uploading.  Have some things to research.  Oh and gotta send off some recorded piano pieces to my friend who is going to transcribe them for me.  (I’m actually really excited about that last one ~ but still – it’s on that list.)

Then I thought “oh yeah and I gotta figure out what my purpose is ~ I should be doing more to help the planet, to help out in this ascension stuff ~ what else should I be doing…I (fill in the blank with utter nonsense) I (fill in the blank with more utter nonsense)…….”  Oh my… how patient my higher self is.  I heard her speak quietly over my own monkey-speak. Here is what she said (again I get impressions from Her which I put into words):  “Just being aware of this ascension process is having a helpful effect.  By being in your meditative and quiet states and healing yourself, you raise your own vibrations which helps raise the vibration of Gaia and the greater All.  The more you allow yourself into these states, the more you help anchor these incoming energies of Love.”

That’s all I need to be doing? I thought.

You don’t need to do anything, I felt back.  But put it that way, yes, that is all you “need” to do.  This is not complicated.

No it’s not.  It isn’t an experience of the human brain.  Nothing to figure out.  The answers are within.  Always.  In those quiet moments.

Of which I am still in as no one, big or small, has disturbed me since I began this piece 30 minutes ago.

Although now… it is time to go deeper, beyond the words.

So I will close up and say “good night”.



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