9/11 ~ Remembering My Personal Experience and a Message For This Memorial Day Weekend


Hands, Teamwork, Team-Spirit, Cheer Up

I don’t know why I am choosing to write this up ~ it’s just an intuitive feeling.  It’s something that just came to me as I am enjoying a highly unusual quiet/alone time (child and mate out of the house).  As fellow truth-seeker Kauilapele says on his blog, he follows his intuition, his right-brain.  Not much into “data” (in spite of his science background), he now follows the promptings of his heart.  That too has been my overall focus with this site.  So why question it that suddenly I have a memory from 9/11.

And as often the case, I have no idea where this is going to lead or how it will end.

The 9/11 memory I am sharing is what I chose to paint on the front window of the house.  I remember feeling so deeply moved watching the rest of the world mourn for us ~ especially in those parts of the world that see civil war and violence on a daily basis.  The fact that these beautiful people would take time away from their OWN suffering and show such concern and grief for us was deeply humbling, especially knowing most of us here in the States (including myself) didn’t particularly pay much mind to their daily sufferings of such violence.

After 9/11, some here in the states, including some within our family, opted for the ego-centric “Rah Rah America/God Loves America First” thought train.  At first it pissed me off.  I have always been, by nature, one who has disdain for conflict and longs to see Unity.  I have the ability to see the varying sides of conflict and remain neutral while offering up solutions for All.  (I laugh as my Higher Self reminds me as long as the conflict doesn’t involve me personally.  That is where the struggle still is but I am evolving and healing in this area.)

So after a trip up north to visit family and seeing the “God Bless America” painting on their window, I decided to do something.

Source doesn’t “bless” one country more than any other, just like Source doesn’t “bless” any one of us over another.  I hadn’t really thought about it that way before, not until the events of that time.  Certainly I hadn’t given it much consideration.

So upon returning home, I got out my acrylic paints and painted “Bless Humanity ~ Every Single One Of Us” then added rainbows and hearts. Interestingly enough I had no comments on it, except for one:  “what does that mean?”

So I shared my thoughts on Unity and got the “look”.  Little did I know, as 9/11 sparked in me the biggest so far of my awakenings, that “look” would become quite the norm whenever I opened my mouth to share the thoughts of my heart.

Perhaps it is appropriate to end this piece in this manner.  As we here in the States celebrate the Memorial Day Holiday, which is the honoring of those Veterans who served and died while in the military, let us also include the same intention to Honor All Life.

Every Single One Of Us.  


Be Aware Of False Light


Again, I have been attacked by someone, suddenly.  Those of us who have the purest of hearts and the best of intentions and aren’t out to promote a false agenda are receiving our fair share lately.

I will say this ~ I will not be knocked off my path.  Such attacks don’t hurt me any longer.  I have had such similar out-of-the-blue attacks, leaving me to think “where the hell is this coming from and  who really is this person??”, throughout my life.

Intuitively I know why.  I am here to share my version of Love.

I am here to help clarify what it is and what it looks like – in action. Hence the title of this little site.  lol

I am far from perfect, but I know to every part of who I am that when vulnerability and the pureness of one’s heart are shared, there are beings lined up ready to take advantage of that through others.

Love helps.  If it cannot it does not seek to harm through judgments and assumptions.

I do not understand such behavior.  I never have.


My thoughts to those who are sharing their truths from their hearts~

Stick to the course and promptings of your heart.

Trust in what the Universe sends your way.

Discern.  Discern.  Discern.

And remember ~ there are people who will be dressed in pretty angelic clothing but who are, within, false light darkness.  Or unaware this is what they carry.

When you put yourself out there in this manner, in this world of internet anonymity, you set yourself up for anything and everything.  Most has been supportive, joyful and challenging (respectfully and lovingly) as well.

Such challenges like that ~ I can handle.  But not when they come out of the blue or are handed on an ugly plate of passive-aggressive behavior.

A few encounters have only affirmed my Knowing that dark works through others and these others are usually the type to think their sheot don’t stink.  They are above and beyond that.  They have done all their work.  As such they project all over the place.

NO ONE can tell me or you who you are or what you need to do to make it to the finish line.


For me, this journey is about stripping away the layers of opinions, words, and energy binds attached to me as I Return to Self.  Removing the false illusions of little self.  It is a process we are still undertaking, some “further” along than others of course.

There is NO “right” or “wrong” path to Ascension, ok?  If the intention to awaken is pure, we all make it.  Love would have it no other way.

Actually, I wish to stop calling it Ascension every bit as much as I wish to stop using and hearing the word Lightworker.  Instead I prefer the concept Remembering and a Return to Wholeness by stripping away all of the illusions I have created and allowed to be created.

This is an individual journey.

We take in information, process it and spit out what doesn’t resonate.

To judge someone as being on the “wrong” path and that their path is the true path is the EPITOMY of false light.

Who knows this FOR CERTAIN?

Currently there are many in this community who are pointing fingers at one another.  “They are speaking lies.”  “No, THEY are speaking lies.”

What purpose does this serve?


This is petty.

Self-righteous ego drama.

Love is kind.

Love is strong and determined.

I question everything that comes my way.


Sometimes I stumble.

Then I rise back up.

There is no shame in the struggle.

Either we are in this together or we’re not.

We are here to HELP and ASSIST one another ~ when we can.

Encourage one another.

Love doesn’t walk away ~ unless of course there is power-over and abusive behavior.

Pointing fingers in judgment and a sense of power-over is not Oneness.

It is just another part of the dark agenda to keep people divided and small by triggering them with smart-sounding, pretty words that are nothing more than the classic passive-aggressive behavior patterns.

So – not that I should have to say this – but I will.  I am who I am.  I know what Love is.  And now I know for certain what energetic attacks are about. I can tell the difference between words offered up in Love and those offered up in attack form.

So to those doing the attacking ~ I only get more empowered in my Sovereign Self.  My authenticity comes out even more.  My ability to share my perfectly imperfect self solidifies.

I remain with the desire to continue my journey of healing and remembering and I remain here to share that journey with you.



A Healing/Clearing Technique


Pendulum, Metaphysical

I certainly felt an energetic “stab” yesterday, collectively, yet another attempt by the disappearing PTB and their staged event yesterday in Manchester.  22 killed on the 22nd.  The gunman being 22.  You can’t make this shit up anymore.

This is not to dismiss those who were killed.  It is a tragedy.  It is horrid. And it should enrage every truth-seeking, heart-focused individual to know this was just another trick to keep us afraid and willing to give up more rights ~ definitely to lower the collective rising energies of you and me.

Not.  Going.  To.  Happen.

In my own city, we had a violent attack yesterday as well.  This was a highly unusual event here.  And watching the news (for the first time in ages) to get more information on what happened here, I was privy to other acts of horrific violence that occurred yesterday.

As an empath, I felt this in my body.  The fear.  The horrible sense of loss. I went to bed and woke up shaking.  Again.

Enough.  (And I just heard James Gilliland in his latest presentation say “we need to align in the higher frequencies” as I typed “enough”).  Thank you Divine Providence.)

So after getting out of bed and getting onto my social media page, I saw someone’s message on clearing out energies as a result of the situation in Manchester (or you can use it anywhere actually, imo).  I decided to share it with you.  If you feel inclined, please consider doing this in your own way or as outlined.  The only thing I did differently was I used a pendulum instead of the Diamond Mandela as was used by this facebook friend.

So, here it is.

*The transmutive code to use:  9947391 (I chanted this code as I worked my pendulum.)

  1. Spin the pendulum counter clockwise, down into Gaia, breaking up all densities, in action and word, that occurred and transmute it back to Light. To the Higher Vibrations.
  2. Then spin the pendulum clockwise to lift all of the heaviness back up into the Divine, rendering the space clear and pure again.

I noticed I immediately began feeling the heaviness in my body so I had to focus on being the observer and whatever I began to take on, I released it. It was an amazing experience, quite beautiful actually and I will be doing this again.  I have done some gridwork before, when done collectively, but I haven’t really done much earth/energy work, transmuting, etc. on my own.  I have changed my mind after today.  As my readers know, insecurity has been an unwelcome disease in my life that I continue to purge as I step more fully into my power and damnit, even if I turn out to miss the mark some, the very ACT of saying “YES” to whatever I feel called to do and DO IT, is healing and empowering and will only feed itself energetically.  And it is long past time for me to BE this being and fulfill this role as Healer.

If you decide to give the above a try or wish to talk further about it privately, feel free to contact me.

Blessings and Peace to you all~



Quick Update


I am rather quiet right now ~ dealing with some ugh bug.  That and this sudden heat and I am just down for the count for a time.  (5 days ago I was wearing winter coat, scarf and boots.  Today it was 93. !!)

I did create a $5 gig on fiverr if anyone is interested.  Very old Chinese Card Reading System.  Something I’ve been doing for fun w/self and friends/family for about 20 years.  Check it out here if you are interested.

For now, I am off to rest and heal.  Hope everyone is wonderfully well. ♥  

A Prayer

I wrote this a couple of years ago.  It gives me comfort during the challenges.  May it provide you comfort as well.  

Tea Lights, Church, Light, Prayer
Where there is regret,
let there be the Promise of the New.
Where there is anger,
let there be Forgiveness.
Where there is sadness,
let there be Hope.
And where there is fear,
let there be Peace.

Thoughts For Today ~ May 19, 2017


Well, I had it happen again.  Received information while in the shower.  I swear, I need a waterproof recording device so I don’t have to “hurry up and finish”, grab a towel and head out to write stuff down or record.  Is there even such a thing?  Who knows.

Anyway, so here’s what my higher self or whatever that part of me is that gets these pictures and images that come through my center like the speed of light, racing up to my brain, leaving it to try and put it together in some sort of a logical sounding story.

Separation is ending.  Unity/Oneness is incoming and will culminate with the flash.  The event.  Whatever label one wishes to put on it.  We will feel that Oneness again.  I have seen this.

This also means, as I have written on before, that our multi-dimensional Selves are merging back.  In fact, I also felt we can call on them now.  I did it myself at the time by calling on the part of me that is well and immediately elevated my mood.

This coincides with a vision I had a couple of nights ago during my late night meditations/intentions.  I wanted to know more about this multi-dimensional self stuff.  I asked for a metaphor as that is what I more resonate with.  It is easier for me to understand otherwise difficult-to-grasp concepts with metaphors.  In fact, it makes me laugh as I am a writer so I should like words, right?  Well I do like to put them together and form a story – quietly – on paper.  But speaking?  No.  I prefer and long for the realm where we can just project pictures if speaking with the vocal cords is not desirable, especially when I am struggling to explain something.  A not so unusual experience.

Anyway the metaphor I received was a pebble in a pond.  We have the pebble, which is fully Us, and each ripple is a representation.  Make sense? Good!  Then can you please explain it to me because I am still trying to wrap my mind around it.

Returning to the shower message.

To continue reading, please visit me on my Patreon page and become a patron.  Thank you!  


A Proclamation of Abundance


Agriculture, Abstract, Abundance, Art

I am inspired to write this.  What began as a conversation with my husband, resulting from a radio show, turned into me saying “I need to write this down and share it!”

The spiritual community, imho, seems to miss out on the abundance factor.  It is somehow lower vibrational frequency to WANT, well, stuff. While yes I agree we live in a mass consumerism-oriented society, that is not what I am talking about.  At least not for myself.

I am talking about me wanting to live in a spacious, beautiful, off-grid house that I OWN (no more enslavement to landlords and housing insecurity), complete with a flying car so I can travel between this home and my beach home.  That is a serious issue I intend regularly.  For if you have never lived with housing insecurity, it teaches you nothing and is one of those things that fall under “unnecessary suffering”.

I am talking about me wanting a baby grand in my living room and a music room with a couple of more guitars and percussion instruments and recording equipment so I can finally create my masterpieces.

I’m talking about wanting my own office space, a little cottage on the property where I can create in peace and quiet.

I’m talking about wanting to trade in these worn clothes and actually go on a little spree where I buy myself locally made, beautiful clothes that make me FEEL prosperous.  Or heck, I’ll get an awesome sewing machine, hire a sewing teacher, and make my own clothes!

I’m talking about using the health modalities that will heal myself and my spouse.  Such things include weekly massages and sitting in a sauna for a good soak.

I’m talking about buying a camper or small RV so we can take the family camping.

I’m talking about having beautiful dishes that match!

See where I’m going?

A point was made in the video tonight, a thought I have often pondered myself and that was the following:  part of our ascension includes being in a state of Abundance.  And for all that is good, why not have a release of prosperity funds for the good of all?  (Eventually we are headed to a society where there will be no more money.  Not necessary.)

Being in a state of Abundance is a challenge when you are living in poverty and/or living with health conditions that you are unable to treat properly due to not having the necessary amount of money.  And I get royally offended when I hear others blame the victim by telling them “You’re poor because of your thoughts.  Think thoughts of abundance.”

Yes, consciously careful focused thought is powerful and effective. Thinking and feeling thoughts of abundance.

However, in my heart of hearts, I just feel Love says “People suffering due to lack of money?  Give them money!”

There is AMPLE wealth for ALL to be PROSPEROUS.  Right now!

I will no longer fall under the illusion that Abundance is limited to this thought or that thought.  Or that wanting “stuff” – nice “stuff” – is somehow lacking in true spirituality.  I KNOW I have pushed money/wealth/financial abundance away from me by thinking small.


Abundance looks different to each of us.

There are no right or wrong ways about it.

So I agree.

What better way to instill Abundance – true, lasting Abundance – by sharing the wealth with ALL?

Sure, there will be some who squander it away irresponsibly.  Being able to respond to such wealth requires some thought.  And assistance.  (Good financial planners and the like for sure.)

However, I always hold out Hope that most people will do good by it.

So let’s imagine what we want for ourselves.  Yes – imagine the THINGS and STUFF you want.  No limits.  Feel it.

And KNOW you are worthy and deserving of it.  And the time is coming very soon for our liberation.

Our Core Wound ~ Separation


Train, Trip, Travel, Uzaklar, Railway

I read a piece tonight that says the Core Wound in us all is Separation.  Our Separation from Source Creator.  (it’s a long piece, btw – about halfway down it speaks of this core wound – also very interesting thoughts on new earth – much in alignment w/my own – a good read)

I felt that today.  Felt that separation.


As those of you who read my piece “Hurting” know (and thank you for those who did read it without judgement), I was feeling some serious stuff.  The vulnerable things.  Abandonment.  Needing love.  Support. Attention. Validation.  And yes, money too although it was more about what I stated previous.

Even though I openly express my feelings on this page, at times sounding wise, other times more like a scared, angry small child, I do take time to reflect.  Who wants to stay stuck in the mode of pain?  Not me!

Well, not for long that is.

So I spent most of the day crying.  Getting angry.  Then crying again. Then got to the point of writing it all out where I reached a point where I had no choice but to surrender so the wisdom could follow.  The Truth.

I feel alone.  Now, I have thought about this concept and felt a little bit of it here and there but today?  I felt the totality of it.  I suddenly felt completely alone.  Oh god, that was painful to feel.  Horribly painful. Gonna have to take that one in pieces.

I was in the bathroom taking out a load of laundry from the dryer when this little beauty overcame me.  Caught me by surprise, how strong it was actually.  “But wait, I’ve already dealt with this.  I KNOW I feel alone.” But I had to do more than just KNOW.  I had to feel.

Today, I peeled back a big layer.

Yes, I am under no illusion I totally transformed the core one.  I know it has more layers and many tentacles that bring forth and touch all of my issues.  (Can we have another word for issues please?  Any thoughts? It seems too cliche at this point.)  But I know without a doubt I finally reached it.  And given the moment of synchronicity tonight reading that piece that spoke those little words ~ that is the core issue for all of us is the pain and fear of being separate from Source.

Which has me thinking.  I have heard over and over from those in the spiritual community that this separation is an illusion.

And yet is it?

Isn’t it possible that it is both Truth AND illusion?

Certainly this controlled matrix, lower-frequency earth has certainly kept us unconscious and thus trapped, away from our full Awareness of Source, right?

Perhaps it’s like the concept of freedom.  There is no little bit of freedom. You are either free or you aren’t.  Maybe Awareness of Source is like that.

I look at it like a child who is taken from the parents only to be placed in a reality that is often scary, where the child is expected to behave in ways that are contrary to whom they are.  The LOVE of the parents is always there, always resonating out to the child.  But the new construct in which the child resides makes feeling that love more difficult with each experience until the child is left feeling absolutely abandoned and completely alone.

Not that we are children.  And not that we are separate from Source as we ARE Source.  However, separation was part of the control matrix creation. As Souls, we are simply accustomed, if you will, to being in Unity.  We knew of no other experience.  And while I am still not fully aware of or knowing of the story behind this separation, I do know, I do feel, this separation in my body.  And I know it has been a very long “time”, hundreds if not thousands of lifetimes of this separation.

And my intention is to return to this state of Unity by remembering fully Who I Am and healing those painful energies of separation.

And perhaps, like the beautiful scene in the movie Contact where Jodie Foster is communicating with the other-dimensional being, manifested in the form of her father, what makes the loneliness bearable is one another. This means sharing our vulnerabilities.  Sharing that pain and fear of separation with one another.

So sharing my words earlier today (where I hesitated for quite awhile before posting them ~ the vulnerability and concern/fear what others may think about me issues rearing their heads) set about a motion that lead me to this insight.

And for that, I am grateful.

Thank you for hanging in there with me as I navigate this ride.



I feel as though I am regurgitating the same crap.

I feel as though I am READING the same regurgitated crap.

I know what I want.

I know the New Paradigm I long for.

I know things are changing.  Moving.  Shifting.

I know these changes affect my physical being.

I know what to do when these changes appear.

I know I have no control over the new paradigm being created.

I know I have no control over the WHEN part.

Which leads me to tonight’s breakdown……..how do I let go of the $$ burden I am under being as I am still in this 3d matrix b.s.?


When it arises, I breathe, surrender, let go, do the mantra of trust.

Then it pops right back up again.


Pops back up.

You get the picture.

The breakdown in the kitchen…was powerful.

Frustrated over 25 years of trying to find my “place” out in the world.

Where I feel valued.

Where the gifts I have to share are valued.  Rewarded.

You know ~ enough to provide me a living.  Enough to pay for my expenses.  Enough to take care of myself.  On my own.  




Asking for help.

Wow – the asking for help part – usually ends up with someone offering me their version of what they think I should do without listening or hearing.

When I know one is in need of help, I ask “what do you need?”

Isn’t that what Love does?  It’s a no-brainer to me.

You just naturally go along with the silly notion that the person is capable of knowing what he/she needs.  So I ask: “what do you need?”

If I can provide it, I do.  If not, I don’t add insult to injury (by making myself feel better, a false illusion btw) by trying to take over and run the person’s life, violating their sovereignty by telling them what I think they should do.

This ain’t love speak.

Such an experience touches on that part of me that feels like a female alien, wondering just what I am doing here.  As I wrote earlier tonight, am I too just another person taking up space until this switch happens?

Maybe I am.  I don’t feel that.

I have dreamed about the switch.  I have seen it.

I intend it daily.

Until then, what am I supposed to do to make sure I have my basic needs paid for?  I have busted my lilly white daily, often working until 2am, to make this little gig work.  And as I have written about, it isn’t paying off.

It could if I had regular financial support via donations.

So what do I do?

Promote yet another idea (as I am doing)?

I see myself being able to continue this current lifestyle for another month unless something changes.  I have run the numbers.


I simply will not continue to pound my head against another wall.

I definitely will not knock on or pound on another door that is refusing to open.

As we now say in this house, if it ain’t easy, I ain’t takin’ it.

I have had enough of the go it alone, work hard matrix mentality.

It has served me nothing but a plate of exhaustion and disappointment.

So I don’t know how much more I have inside of me as I feel I have written enough about this ascension/new earth stuff.  And the last thing I want to do (because it annoys the crap out of me when other sites do this), is regurgitate the same basic stuff by changing some words around or adding in a new graphic.

I owe it to myself not to do that.

And I owe it to my readers.

All 10 of you.  lol  (how it seems lately so take it as a silly joke I include at the end of an otherwise weary piece of writing)

Can We Talk About The Weather?



Image may contain: text

I have a personal rule that says when the conversation turns to the weather, it has become too superficial for me and I am ready to move on.

Well, that is unless we can talk about how the sun and moon are off, or why don’t the constellations completely disappear if everything is supposedly constantly moving.  Etc. etc.

It’s sad to me to see people not want to dig deep… not want to speak about real topics that come from the heart and satisfy a deep innate need (that we ALL possess, consciously or not) for truth.

I still face situations where I am told “oh we don’t talk about that” or “I don’t want to really know about that”.  

I don’t think I have ever muttered any of those words in this lifetime.  

Continue reading here on Patreon as one of my Patron’s.