Too tired to write/do. Over and out.
Too tired to write/do. Over and out.
I don’t know why I’m here on this earth anymore other than to be a mother to my child. And yet how am I supposed to do that without money? Love doesn’t buy anything. In my version of reality it does, but hey that isn’t here yet and how do I know for sure it is really happening? Those visions and dreams and intentions ~ how do I know for sure?
Going on blind faith has never been my “thang”.
What started out as a website I thought was to help unite many of us has dissolved into nothing.
I no longer know what I am supposed to do.
I no longer feel a sense of purpose.
I am trapped against a wall as I have said with no vision of how to get out.
I’m so desperate I am taking survey’s online now – which turns out to be maybe $3/hour.
Why can’t I get you all to commit to just $1/month?
This tells me you do not value what I do.
To those who have donated, I am so grateful. That has not changed.
It just has not been enough for me to continue putting in the time on this site for free. I have myself and a child/family to think about.
So with that, if anyone knows of someone who would like to buy this blog, let me know.
This is just another situation, again, where I put my heart into something and end up being abandoned.
I have visited this issue and done all I can to heal from it.
I just want to feel like I belong and that what I DO has value.
Why this ongoing rejection, I don’t know.
Surrender it all. Which I do. Daily now.
But still I wake up with a heaviness in my chest.
Why do I write these words?
Who will read them?
Who will respond with anything useful and truly loving.
I made a mistake coming to this reality.
And I made a mistake creating this site.
Expectations I have – yes I set them high – when I follow my heart.
Perhaps my ex was correct when he said “you wear your heart on your sleeve. You do that and you will get eaten alive.”
I have been eaten alive. He was right.
And I despise him for that as he is one of the 99% who refuse to awaken to their hearts, instead continuing the same pattern of darkness, projecting it onto others, dismissing suffering and calling foul when someone speaks from their pain.
God forbid someone asks for help, right?
I know what Love is.
I know what Love does.
That’s all there is to say.
I wanted to share this experience as there are many of you who have contacted me privately and some who have shared publicly how you are feeling at this time, which has been in alignment with how I have been feeling the past 2-3 weeks. Apathetic. Lost. Wanting this whole shebang OVER already. I wanted to share this to give you some Hope. If that is what you seek.
I read an interesting article yesterday, interesting in that there was one message I took away from it. It was a channeled piece from Sananda and my goodness, how many people is this dude talking to right now? Anyway, as you all know I am not into channeled pieces much ~ but now and then I run across one that ignites a new spark of awakening within. And those things usually happen to me when I have surrendered, which is about all I did yesterday and last night.
This piece spoke directly on how Ascension is solely an individual process and how we MUST not take a passive role. While this article said there are no incoming energies to assist (I completely disagree with that statement), the piece did speak how we need to go within and remember to Ascend.
I admit to being a sleepy, playful little puppy. I want this return to Self to be easy. Heck, I want EVERYTHING to be e.z. If someone were to come up to me and say “I will wave this wand and you will be restored” I would take the offer. As I still say suffering, much of it, is unnecessary. However, that does not seem to be how this Returning To Self is going down ~ not without challenges. Grumble, groan, moan. (Although as I said, I feel strongly that we are getting help.) Do I have control over how challenging this is? Yes, in some ways, I believe I do. Surrendering and not resisting are HUGE. For me that is. And they are my biggest challenges. Lucky me, eh?
The cottage where I’ve lived for the past 8 years was sold at auction last July. In Sept I went to Mpls to stay with my family/son and returned the end of February to take care of some appointments following cancer surgery last April. A friend who winters in Sarasota offered her condo for me to stay in even after she returned to Mpls the 5th of April. Arrangements that I had made to stay there until mid-June fell through. The so-called manager broke into the condo and told me I had to move out (even though my rent was paid) so I had to find a place to stay immediately. I found out the next day that she does this to others as well. My sister found a hotel for me to stay where I have been until last Friday when I had to leave because they were booked. I’ve found another hotel where I’m arranged to stay until the 12th. My sister has paid for the first hotel but cannot take care of this stay. Because there are only a couple people who understand this whole process I am feeling very isolated at this moment.
I know we keep hearing that the exchanges are happening and are “imminent” for Tier 4 but that isn’t very comforting to me while I am racking up a hotel bill for which I have no idea how I’ll pay for. I’ve contacted acquaintances in Sarasota asking if they, or someone they know, would have a room for me to use until mid-June but have not had any response. My Mom (on the other side) keeps assuring me that all is well. Easy for her to say. . .LOL
This past year has been one of the most stressful I’ve experienced in a long time. I’ve been pretty much living out of my suitcase for 8 months. . .I am asking help from all the Zorra community in paying my hotel bill. If we get the exchanges this week it’s a moot point. I do have a Pay Pal account using the email@example.com e-mail address.
Name: Sherry A. Harvey
Right now I don’t have an address in Sarasota. I am currently having my mail forwarded to my son’s residence in MN. If that is the only option for someone to help me, his address is:
2676 Stillwater Street
White Bear Lake, MN 55110
Any help is greatly appreciated.
Spiritual Mentor & Lifestyle Coach
I will now also be doing personal essay’s on a variety of topics, including occasionally linking some of the daily notes here. I invite you to like, share and join. ♥
Gripe time. Having tech issues with the site. Have spent the past 2 hours researching how to fix them. Brain isn’t comprehending. Hiring someone is out of the question.
I feel like Charlton Heston when he gave that famous speech and ended it by holding up his weapon and saying “from my cold dead hands.” I rather feel that way about my money these days. System wants it? They can provide me a marketing and tech assistant, pro bono, until revenue comes in.
Until then, homemade chocolate will have to suffice.
Of which I am now shoveling into my mouth.
I had another Lemuria experience a few nights ago, friends.
I haven’t been feeling so well lately. I’m currently working on healing what I believe to be a decades long issue of candida/fungus and so I started a treatment protocol about 10 days ago and I’m starting to feel the effects. Mostly the biggest symptom being this drain, a new type of fatigue, where it feels like my energy force is being drained. I’ve also been quite grumpy lately, and until this dream visit I had of Lemuria, I was feeling uninspired Spiritually and felt it was showing in my personal writings on this site. And this was really bothering me. I figured my Higher Self and Source would guide me out of this if only I would accept and surrender, which I did.
The night of my experience, I went to bed about 2-3 hours earlier than normal. I fell asleep quickly and, well, went to Lemuria (or wherever that place was when we were last High Vibe Light Bodies is).
And when I say I “went to” I mean I left my body and traveled. This is a highly unusual experience for me.
I am finished listening to those who espouse the mantras of over-population/finite resources/not enough resources for the number of people we have.
NONSENSE. These are leftest agendas promoted by people who are really practicing eugenics.
I remember years ago listening to video of a Scientist who was speaking at a conference on over-population. There was talk of actually allowing certain viruses and the like to spread without human intervention/assistance to reduce the population. Those words earned him a standing ovation. I was appalled. Would he or any of the other bots applauding him be willing to sacrifice any of his family members, let alone himself, for the “common good”?
Number one Gaia has PLENTY of land mass to house us. And given we have been lied to by every facet of the system, it wouldn’t surprise me to discover we actually have more land mass than what we are being told.
Number two Gaia certainly does provide ample resources to provide for our basic needs.
The problem is the people running the system and how they have farmed the land, their gross management of public lands, and the pollutants dumped into the air, water and environment that destroys life.
We also have an archaic, unsustainable, spiritually bankrupt infrastructure. Given humans only occupy approx. 10% of the land mass, the infrastructure (highways, biways, corporate farmland) composes approx. 75%. Well more than half the population lives in urban areas ~ which are very unsustainable. Human beings ~ Spiritual beings ~ are not designed to live clustered together. By design, we need and desire to live in nature. Cities are a place to visit ~ not live in.
We have lost our roots, our connection w/nature.
We have lost our connection with one another.
This happened because we lost our connection with Ourselves.
We need to return to living in small communities.
We need to put an end to corporate farming and return all of that land to Organic Farmers. Community farms, providing for the food needs of their local community.
We need to eliminate the big chemical companies who are guilty of poisoning our food, water, air, environment.
We need to eliminate the concrete jungles of highways, biways and the like. Instead let’s release the flying car tech and introduce us (again) to the ability to teleport.
Taking to heart the words of John Lennon, there are no problems, only solutions. Those solutions are doable and often right under our nose.
I just discovered tonight that many of your posts are being put into trash or spam, which explains why they have not shown up yet. I think I need to tone down the spam filtering I created.
Anyway, you will notice your comments now appearing. Thank you all for your support and kindness!
I had a psychic/intuitive reading today. This is a friend of mine, someone I have known for a few years. I trust and adore her. However, as I have mentioned in previous writings, I have grown very particular about engaging in things such as psychic readings, channelings, tarot reads and the like ~ only because I believe that unless the person giving the info/read is in alignment with my perception of things such as the world of spirit, the matrix energy grid, reincarnation and karma, there will likely be things said that “bounce off” my energy field and don’t resonate. My friend believes in karma and reincarnation being necessary for our growth/learning and the like. She knows I have a different perception.
I have had a few readings in the past with my friend and this one was going to be a new experience, as the last read, I had different perceptions and beliefs as to the aforementioned topics. Certainly I am much more confident and energetically grounded/solid in my perceptions than I was at the last read. So, I was rather curious to see what would come through today. And given this was a barter situation (mini read in exchange for my book), I decided to go along with it.
Soon into the read, she began talking about the Pleiadians and my and my mate’s connection with them. She used the term “galactics” a couple times as well. This is a topic my friend is not familiar with so I knew she was tuned more into my energy frequency/belief system. My eyes growing wide, I said “hold that thought” and reached for my recorder and began recording. I noticed her energy expanded when she was relaying this information. However, when I asked her to expand on that information and tell me more of what she was getting on the Pleidian’s and Galactics, she was not able to, which I found interesting and attributed it to where she is in her Awakening, her perception and what vibes with her.
That insight would come in handy for what was to come in the reading.
She shared several things that resonated with me, including words that my Higher Self shared with me this morning. So overall, things were proceeding along nicely. That is until she began speaking of lessons and my need to control my life. There was some Truth in that for me – I know I need to let go and go with the flow much more than I do. However, I also felt this energetic sense of smallness – as though my being the Master Creator of my Destiny was not truly acceptable to these beings she was channeling.
This felt to me like inner-dimensional controls, certainly the handing over of my Power, to keep us in this low vibe, this controlled energy space. And the term “lessons” are matrix speak to me. We are remembering Who We Are. And while I am remembering and incorporating that remembering into my mind and ego and personality to establish a balance with my Higher Self, the concept that we are here to learn and grow, which includes we must suffer in order to grow, we must experience hate to know love and the like is all rubbish. I wish I had a physical shield that would immediately surround my body when those words are spoken in my presence rendering it impossible for my physical ears to hear the words. Until I have that Star Trek ability, I must rely on my Inner Sovereign Warrior and physical mouth/vocal cords to communicate my Truth.
Which I did.
What came back at me today through the voice of my friend rather surprised me. First she said my evolving into the 5th Dimensional Frequency was not going to happen in this lifetime.
That earned her a look of raised eyebrows and my saying I absolutely did not resonate with that message.
Next she said many of my issues with anxiety and panic would not be resolving in this lifetime. Again, I said that did not resonate with me (I was also quite offended) especially since I have the DESIRE to. And Love In Action would be more than willing to help me with that desire instead of telling me “forget about it – not in this lifetime kid”. What a manipulative way to attempt to get me to stay in the cycle of reincarnation. I “fail” to heal of my issues, I then fall back into the trap of thinking “uh oh didn’t get it perfect this time – gotta go back and do it again.”
By now my energy was getting quite large within and without – I could feel it expand, creating those boundaries. The resistance and frustration coming from whatever energy she was channeling was also noticeable, especially considering what was said next. My friend then said “Spirit” wanted to know if I really believed I was evolving into the higher frequencies, raising my frequency, then why was I still living in 3d reality.
Whoa there, I thought. That felt confrontational, sarcastic, controlling and ego-filled (fill in the blank w/your own interpretation). Love/Source/Divine does not speak like that. I knew absolutely for sure that the particular beings she was communicating with were still in the confines of the matrix grid, if not some of the archon controllers themselves. And what do these beings like to do?
KEEP US AFRAID AND TRAPPED.
I wasn’t having it.
Refusing to answer that statement, I instead said I was not willing to discuss that as it wasn’t in alignment with Who I Am, to which I was told defensively I was “shutting down”, obviously not open to their information.
As though “they” could not expand their perception to include mine. As though they had to thus judge me (make me feel small and question my own inner self) for not resonating with their message.
I was done with this exchange with these beings. (yes, beings w/a lower “b”)
So I said “I am not shutting down. I am simply not accepting their perception as my own. I am stating my Sovereignty when I say I am not willing to discuss this further.” (Yeah, I could feel my massive angel wings expand on that one. I imagined myself holding a big sword and cutting down these false light beings.)
Well, it was again stated I was shutting down. I was also told I don’t necessarily get to hear what I want, just what I need to hear, again for my “lessons”. (Typing this up again, I want to scream “WHAT FUCKING LESSONS? When the beings inside this damn reincarnation system erase my fucking memory and label it in the spiritual world as a ‘necessary amnesia’, how the FUCK am I to know the LESSON if I cannot remember the EXPERIENCE??!!”)
Seriously ~ we have to stop falling for this nonsense!
So it was then I asked her “Who are you communicating with?” and my friend said “God”.
I was blunt. “No, you’re not,” I said.
We ended the reading after that.
After my friend left and I headed out for a walk, I got to thinking about God and Source and my friend’s belief that she receives her information from Source God. And I thought of my “no you’re not” response. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I wanted to expand on that and figure out why I said those words.
I believe Source communicates with us at a variety of levels of understanding and perception – based on Who We Are at the time.
I have long believed that if Jesus (who I view as either an actual person or metaphor for a highly advanced being) returned, before he would likely be locked away in an asylum under our current societal construct, there would be a variety of interpretations of his message among the populace. Again, all due to Who We Are at this particular point in “time”. Or as I like to say, in this Now moment.
And that’s what happened today.
So as I received validation of my own Higher Self and what She has been communicating to me, I also received validation that if I am to explore these avenues, it is imperative to stay grounded in Who I Am and to be aware of the intuitive/psychic/channelers belief structure. I cannot emphasis this enough.
And I also saw where there are still inner dimensional beings who wish to keep us stuck here in this reincarnation cycle.
Let’s all give a resounding “NO MORE” to them. Make it clear we are DONE with THEIR rules and interpretations about Who We Are. Our destinies. And our capabilities. We are Free Sovereign Beings.
On one hand this reading communicated to me that I and I alone provide all of my answers and healing capabilities. And yet then I was told I would not be healing all of the panic issues in this lifetime. Pure duality and double- speak. That says to me I must stand even more firm in Who I Am.
This is a battle folks. I feel it. I would prefer not to fight. I prefer to be soft and kind and loving and to be left alone to BE just that.
But I am willing, capable and ready to resist the archon grid spirit’s games of bullshit. Today I showed I can do that.
We can do this. We can resist their game. We MUST resist.
Even if this means we get labeled a rebel rousing stubborn one.
♥ Shine On You Rockin’ Beautiful Bright Souls ♥
Here’s some “Soul”spirational music to leave you with…
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