So………… deep breath…..
I made myself get out of the house and we took our child to a local street fair. Thousands of people. In the heat. A recipe for discomfort for me but I made myself do it as I knew it would not only be a good experience for my girl, but it may bring me something useful as well.
Walking around, I noticed a yoga class in the grass. A ha ~ I can do that. So while my mate took our girl to the play equipment, I plopped down on the grass and said “ok Self Source, guide me, let me release”. As the instructor spoke (in this beautiful, gentle but also powerful voice, which was just what I needed), she guided us to “release what is weighing on you deeply at this moment. See if you can relax it some.” Immediately I think of my thoughts and emotions I had earlier, brought them up and breathed it out loudly. Tears began to form and fall. I didn’t care. Crying in public no longer an issue, thankfully (thank goodness screaming in public is something I refrain from because I wanted to do a bit of that as well). I stretched, breathed and cried. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Over and over I said this.
After some time, I was guided to look up. There in the sky was a cloud in the shape of a dove. Wow. So much gratitude filled me. I was seen. I was not alone. (Yes, I know this is true. But sometimes, well sometimes we all need these moments to remind us of this truth.)
I did some more guided moves and again was told “look up”. The cloud dove was still there, in spite of the winds and other clouds changing shape. Wow. The “I’m sorry” part of me was changing back into the “thank you” space.
After we came home, my girl and I delivered a little hand-made card and flowers to a neighbor whose birthday was yesterday. On the way to her house, I noticed two birds – doves – that flew up onto the roof just as we entered the property. ♥
I can now fully admit that letting myself feel love for myself – from myself – from others – from Source of ALL – is hard. Really hard, which explains so much of this life and a few of my memories of previous incarnations.
And I can fully admit I create this experience. I certainly participated in it.
And that was then. And this is now.
I am right on that cusp of letting go and being willing to dive into something new. Self love. The kind that permeates. Without doubt. To REMEMBER again.
Letting love IN. Oooh, I could just take a year long bath in that energy. Unconditional love. This has been missing on this planet ~ among all of us ~ for far too long. And I have a feeling that for myself, I am just touching this energy.
More than anything, I want is to remember it and feel it and Be it once again.
This experience is of no coincidence given what I believe is coming in now and strengthening with the eclipse tomorrow. Every month or so I have this come up again for me – it used to come up once in a long while – sometimes years would pass. The year of 2017 it has been monthly. The urgency to feel it and let it go to let the NEW in NOW is palpable.
I intend this experience for me. And for all of you.
Let’s intend this unconditional love experience for one another.
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