I wanted to share this experience as there are many of you who have contacted me privately and some who have shared publicly how you are feeling at this time, which has been in alignment with how I have been feeling the past 2-3 weeks. Apathetic. Lost. Wanting this whole shebang OVER already. I wanted to share this to give you some Hope. If that is what you seek.
I read an interesting article yesterday, interesting in that there was one message I took away from it. It was a channeled piece from Sananda and my goodness, how many people is this dude talking to right now? Anyway, as you all know I am not into channeled pieces much ~ but now and then I run across one that ignites a new spark of awakening within. And those things usually happen to me when I have surrendered, which is about all I did yesterday and last night.
This piece spoke directly on how Ascension is solely an individual process and how we MUST not take a passive role. While this article said there are no incoming energies to assist (I completely disagree with that statement), the piece did speak how we need to go within and remember to Ascend.
I admit to being a sleepy, playful little puppy. I want this return to Self to be easy. Heck, I want EVERYTHING to be e.z. If someone were to come up to me and say “I will wave this wand and you will be restored” I would take the offer. As I still say suffering, much of it, is unnecessary. However, that does not seem to be how this Returning To Self is going down ~ not without challenges. Grumble, groan, moan. (Although as I said, I feel strongly that we are getting help.) Do I have control over how challenging this is? Yes, in some ways, I believe I do. Surrendering and not resisting are HUGE. For me that is. And they are my biggest challenges. Lucky me, eh?
This morning, while I was engaged in an earthly experience, I decided I wanted to experience the moment from a higher dimensional perspective ~ the frequency I am intending on Being at. Returning to.
Suddenly, I saw an image of a male. I have seen this man before. Perhaps a guardian? The twin flame thing? Who knows. He’s rather short, stocky, long wavy hair and beautiful. When I have seen him, both while having waking visions and dreams, He is always protective of Me. A personal, loving, kick-ass warrior body guard. All I know is I feel very comfortable with him ~ some part of me completely trusting him.
So as I saw him appear, I could feel his energy. It went straight to my heart and chest. I could feel the blocks there ~ that lingering emotional pain. The energy attempted to make its way into me and I admit, after a few minutes, it became uncomfortable and a bit suffocating. I relaxed as much as I could. The tears flowed. But then I had to release the experience.
I wasn’t ready to receive it fully or maintain it… yet. (important to note the word “yet”)
That’s when it hit me. A big humbling moment. (Thank goddess these happen more frequently now. I was beginning to think I had sunk down into the abyss for good lately.) I really do need to release this pain, let it go, to let the New in. And the New is beautiful. Liberating. It is Who We Once Were. Who We Really Are. Who I Really Am. Freedom, baby!
So I say, whenever pain arises, do whatever you can to release it. Ok, let me rephrase that. Whenever pain arises, I am going to do whatever I feel called to do to release it. Honor it. By honoring myself. Gently. With ease. And of utmost importance is forgiveness, of self, of others. That really facilitates this “letting go for good” experience.
What else is there to do, you know?
What is the other option? To stay wrapped up in my misery? To cling to the pain and disappointment like a child does with its blankie when it knows it is time to let it go?
Sure, I can do that ~ stay in my misery. It can be rather addicting, the victim/blame thing. I’ve trained myself to be good at it.
But is that how I really want to live? Feel? Be?
NO. Absolutely not.
Not when I am completely honest with myself.
I don’t know how I am supposed to let all of this pain go. I know of no magical formula. (Although my sarcastic and protective side says “don’t interact with people!”) Maybe having the intention is enough. Maybe remembering I would rather be Me then me.
And the healing will continue.
All I know is I felt something today and it was new and I received an insight of a new kind of hope. A gift for certain from one who obviously knows me and loves me enough to share it when I called.
And given how I have felt, especially lately, I will take that hope whenever and whichever way I can.
Blessings and Love~
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