This was one of those “Victoria you need to read this” pieces. I have been having a couple of reoccurring dream themes for almost 15 years. Lately they have been pressing in on me and I have awoken with this feeling that I am still playing this sh## out – somewhere – in some “space” – turns out the space is within. Time to get out the toolbox and collapse that timeline experience. Below is a snippet of the entire article.
For those that don’t know my story, I was hit by a drunk driver that resulted in a spinal fusion. Life returned to normal, even had another child, until 4 years later, the fusion failed horribly and embedded into my cerebral fluid column causing a massive leak and infection. After 2 repair surgeries and a summer in a nursing home recovering function, I was left with serious nerve & back pain, way too many pharmaceuticals, and a growing opiate addiction. My intuition told me that if I didn’t do something different I would be dead in no time. As we were already losing our farm due to loss of income we decided to move to Colorado where I detoxed off the meds with medical marijuana, learned meditation, reiki and opened up to my soul. It has been a long journey to health but one of amazing growth, however, there was still a timeline running where I never made those changes.
When my husband came home from work and saw that I was an emotional hot mess he came to sit with me. I told him about my day’s journey including what our middle child had said. I asked him if he felt similar and his face grew serious. He said “You were circling the drain, Jen. There was no vitality to you. I always had a plan B in the back of my mind of how I was going to take care of the kids without you.” I had no idea that he had felt so much pressure. I asked him if he still had a plan B and his boyish smile returned and he said “Nah you are irreplaceable. Maybe that is the point of life, to become irreplaceable.”
The next 3 days I experienced excruciating pain in all of my joints, my back and had intense nerve pain that radiated down both legs. It was like I was right back in hell, right back in the time period where my eyes would open in the morning and I was sad I was still alive. I worked with my team the whole time and they explained that a timeline collapse is not “out there” but actually takes place in the body. That each cell holds the timeline and must be removed from every area of the physical form.
They also wanted me to see all the ways that I was willing to give up on this experience and my goals. I had dreams of the collapsing timeline, really feeling the gravity of the situation and its effects on me and my loved ones. I saw the pain of not fulfilling my soul’s passion. I was also shown where I had held the feelings of “I don’t belong on this planet” and “I want to go home”. I was also shown all the times that I put another’s needs in front of my own and how this too is a signal of “I don’t want to live or thrive.”
On the flipside of that, I was shown where I had looked outside myself to be saved, believing that in an instant the world would change and I would be healed and whole. The truth is being healed and is available to all, but only through going within and doing the deep inner work. I also had to look at the definition of being healed and how for each person that meaning is deeply individual. For me, healed means I want to live, I want to create, and I have excitement for my life. It does not mean that my physical body is perfect.
On the 3rd day, they asked me to state my intentions of what I wanted in this life and they told me to be fearless. It was as I shouted these intentions out to the universe that I felt the final release of the timeline take place and I sunk to my knees in gratitude that it was done. I was then shown the place of the weavers and my personal looms to see that indeed I had collapsed the timeline.
Click here to read the article in its entirety.
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