A Moment That Lead To A Question That Left Me Feeling Disoriented

 

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Most of us have seen the Matrix.  We know the story of Neo and of his awakening.  Even once he has met Morpheus, he’s still inside the Matrix. It isn’t until he is literally unplugged from the imprisonment cocoon that he realizes the Truth.

I feel like I had a similar moment happen.  I don’t know why either, meaning I thought I was “more awake than that”.

I was outside with my daughter, looking at the clover in the grass.  I told her the story about searching for the 4-leaf clover, how I had not yet found one in this lifetime.  Searching for a few minutes, my daughter sighs and says “mom, maybe no one has ever found a 4-leaf clover.”

I told her many people have then went on to say how amazing nature is.

As amazing as nature can be in this simulation, I thought to myself, which was then followed by the thought “if nature is a simulation, maybe I am as well.”

I have yet to have that thought.  At least not to the extent that I felt that insight in my body tonight.  But it rather knocked me out of my body and left my mind searching frantically in its database for an answer.  Not gonna find the truth there of course…

My mate came out, walked over to me and seeing I looked a bit “off” asked what was wrong.  “I just had another Neo moment,” I said then shared what I had just experienced.

As I type these words, I feel this explains why I have been experiencing this growing feeling as though I am “split up” – with a part of me in one realm and a part of me here – and the remaining parts of Me feeling quite ready to “jet on outta here”.  I certainly feel it today – it’s as though staying awake – in the literal sense – in this 3d world is becoming very very difficult for me. If it weren’t for my duties as a mama, I would likely spend most of my time sleeping and meditating.  No joke.

How many “parts” of me are there?  For any of us?

Where the hell am I?  lol

Seriously wish to know the answer to that one.  Perhaps that is the biggest question of all.  I’ve been going down the “who am I” path for so long – maybe it is time to bring in that question as well.  It’s a mighty big mystery to me and I feel we are all collectively going to be knowing it All very very soon.

 

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Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Goddess. Starwoman. Freedom and Justice Creator. Writer. Musician. Composer.

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