With all of the terminating of soul contracts I have been doing, it should not have surprised me that along with that has come some intense purging. But surprise me it did. I had another such experience this morning and this one packed a punch. As I was crying my insides out, I had these flashes of memories go through my mind of either people or situations that are no longer a part of my reality. I then thought “you never know when you talk with someone if this is going to be the last time.” And I’m not necessarily speaking of death. I’m speaking of those situations where you drift apart from others. Or say you either get divorced or your parents do.
Each of those interactions has just one last minute. One last conversation. One last smile. Or one last tear.
And while I felt the pain of those “last moments”, the memories themselves are either fuzzy or gone altogether.
My childhood friend, who remained a close part of my life until I was in my 30’s. Then suddenly, we just stopped communicating and visiting. No good reason other than this just happens at times, especially when one (that would be me) undergoes a lot of change. I don’t remember the last time we spoke, what was said. None of it. I just know the pain came up last night through a dream and then, upon awakening.
My parents divorce when I was in my 20’s. I don’t remember the last time my family was together – just the 4 of us. But we did have one last time, we just didn’t stop to think “hey this is the last time before mom and dad stop living together.” I just don’t remember that last time. It was, as you can imagine, rather chaotic. But still we did have just one last time together as a family. Obviously. I just haven’t any recollection what we did or what was sad. Pain purge #2 of the day.
I began to remember other such situations, but having purged quite enough already, I decided to shut down that particular thinking/feeling channel.
Sometimes I wish I had the luxury to just stay in bed or in solitude for a month – be waited on – so I could partake of that level of healing. Certainly it would be a gift to have the $$ means to try out alternative forms of energy healing, past life release and the like. For now I do the best I can on my own. Overall, I am doing quite well at it. Rather empowering, to be honest.
As I cried, the song “Crumblin’ Down” by John Cougar Mellancamp ran through my mind. The walls, crumblin’ and tumblin’ down. I could literally feel all that energy, those energy walls, crumble down all around me. It is quite an appropriate song for such a process many of us are going through.
So before I leave you with the song, I will give you this heads up ~ if you choose to participate in the process of removing those soul contracts, know that it is quite possible if not probable some final purging will be coming up.
One last act of release.
One step closer to Total Freedom.
And that’s what we’re all aiming for, right?
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