(isn’t this a beautiful scene? it is very similar to the road i have seen that we live on in the new earth realm.)
Neither do I! Silence.
I love it!
Locked back here in the bedroom, blinds open so I can watch the trees dance as the coast breeze kicks in, making for a beautiful sunset experience.
Oh that and my mate is in another part of the house and my child in bed. Well, in her bedroom. Good enough. I am alone and it is quiet and that makes my inner world sooooooooooo stinkin’ flippin’ happy you have no IDEEEEEEEEEEEA…….
Quite the opposite experience I felt upon awakening this morning. Agitated.
What is up with this state of agitation, I wondered. And the dizziness. The stomach upset.
I pulled myself out from under the covers. (I would make a great hermit, btw.) Got online (I usually do not do that first thing but this morning something said “go do” so I listened). First two posts on my social media page talk of these symptoms. Extreme agitation. Dizziness. Stomach and g.i. distress.
Misery loves company, I grumbled, but still appreciated the validation.
Reading further again I was reminded of the importance of meditating, grounding myself. Facing the old emotional stuff head on – it is go time.
And yet I have a feeling these old trauma’s will be removed upon the arrival of the cosmic pulse. I know, may sound silly to some, perhaps pie-in-the-sky, but this is what I have felt and seen. And that inner experience is still there. So while it may seem easier, for me that is, to just wait until then, I would much rather release of my own accord, as much as I can that is. Ignoring the issue only makes it hurt more.
I see my inner pains and trauma’s as a scared child who very much wants to join in with me and Be and play and enjoy. But she’s, well, traumatized. She needs reassurance. And love. Attention. Lots of attention. And quiet. Lots of quiet. Rest. Lots of rest.
I’m the type who will find anything to do to distract myself from giving myself this kind of attention. Floor needs swept. Need to post some pieces on here. And oh wow what is that smell coming from the sink… that needs the vinegar clean now.
Obviously the self-worth stuff coming up. And this driving need to produce/be/do that I have continued to employ ~ long past the years of childhood upbringing and some crappy relationship experiences of the past.
Lighten up, I tell myself. Relax. Let go. It’s ok. Life is not going to fall apart, the house won’t shrivel up in a moldy stink fest, my girl won’t suffer or starve and my mate can go it on his own just because I need a good amount of alone time to nurture my needs.
Tonight in the shower I thought about this. I ran through my mind the list of things on my “to do” list. Gotta order supplies to make my tooth powder and body sprays and get those hooked up on etsy. Some pictures need uploading. Have some things to research. Oh and gotta send off some recorded piano pieces to my friend who is going to transcribe them for me. (I’m actually really excited about that last one ~ but still – it’s on that list.)
Then I thought “oh yeah and I gotta figure out what my purpose is ~ I should be doing more to help the planet, to help out in this ascension stuff ~ what else should I be doing…I (fill in the blank with utter nonsense) I (fill in the blank with more utter nonsense)…….” Oh my… how patient my higher self is. I heard her speak quietly over my own monkey-speak. Here is what she said (again I get impressions from Her which I put into words): “Just being aware of this ascension process is having a helpful effect. By being in your meditative and quiet states and healing yourself, you raise your own vibrations which helps raise the vibration of Gaia and the greater All. The more you allow yourself into these states, the more you help anchor these incoming energies of Love.”
That’s all I need to be doing? I thought.
You don’t need to do anything, I felt back. But put it that way, yes, that is all you “need” to do. This is not complicated.
No it’s not. It isn’t an experience of the human brain. Nothing to figure out. The answers are within. Always. In those quiet moments.
Of which I am still in as no one, big or small, has disturbed me since I began this piece 30 minutes ago.
Although now… it is time to go deeper, beyond the words.
So I will close up and say “good night”.
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