Single/Widowed Mom In Need Of Help

 

Everyone who sees this donates $1 (“All it takes is a dollar”) would be awesome!

 

https://www.youcaring.com/helengibbs-905346

Trying to make ends meet on a limited income and have hit another bump in the road.  Just when you think you are going to have things together, something happens to set you back.  After my husband took his life, every day is a struggle that seems to get worse.  Sometimes I feel like giving up myself but with my daughter and three grandchildren here, I have to try an keep going so they are not put in another bad situation.

 

The Meditation of All Meditations Approaching

 

Editor’s note:  All of this focus on the upcoming eclipse and the global meditationSSS planned to bring down this house of cards and usher in love and peace and a new world makes me so happy!!  I feel it too.  I strongly feel the call to DO THIS which is why I wrote a piece on this um which day would that be ~ no clue as I can’t keep track of that thing called “time” anymore as truly more and more I am just simply in the NOW moment and it is wonderful ~ anyway I wrote a piece on it as I fully believe millions of us are being called to do this (and i see i did this piece last night – so ok then).  Whichever meditation you participate in, whether it’s an organized one or one of your own choosing, please consider doing something on that day.  Starting now if you wish (that’s what I am doing).  We are co-creating this new paradigm and it is beautiful.  Blessings to you all.

***

QUARANTINE, EARTH – It is being reported by several sources within the large open-prison-complex on planet Earth that the hostages are banding together for the first time in its history that is expected to usher in a wave of positivity in hopes that they will be able to break free from their oppressors and propel themselves into the Star Trek society they now know is possible. They plan to organize and execute a mass meditation during the time of the upcoming Solar Eclipse.
History is being made as hundreds of thousands of Starseeds are expected to put aside their differences and unite to throw off the shackles of oppression that have plagued this beautiful planet for millenia.
It hasn’t been an easy journey but several groups in the awakening/truth community are now reportedly working together to co-create a better future for themselves, their families and the rest of humanity. This meditation is expected to bring about changes that ‘could only be imagined’.
We reached out to a representative for this incredible movement and we received a short but informational video transmission in what they described as a “news-style presentation which we feel Earthlings would be more familiar with.”
Could this meditation trigger the long-awaited ‘Event‘ that these groups have been discussing for decades? We won’t have to wait long to find out. There are, of course, those who would like to see these plans derailed and the current power structure remain in place which some would say only benefits the wealthy elite portions of society.
We reached out to a member of this alleged ‘New World Order’ for a comment and after several days of waiting we received a response from an organization which calls themselves the ‘Chimera Group’:
*Inaudible panicked Darth Vader breathing noise.*
It doesn’t look very encouraging for the Chimera Group as the most powerful beings in the Universe are finally coming together to defeat their plans for world domination. It is also being reported that even the Chimera Groups’ scorched earth plans are not going to come to fruition as the planet has been completed surrounded from all sides by a powerful Alliance group called the Galactic Confederation, stopping them at every attempt.
Hold on to your stones and crystals because this event is going to be something this planet and its people have never witnessed before!
Sourced from here.

Goodbye To Linear Time ~ The Return To Unity Consciousness

 

Editor’s note:  While I don’t much resonate with the interpretation of how we arrived at the experience of separation, I am completely feeling and experiencing this shift.  Most days I’m just floating along then I get snapped back by some old pain/story. Recognize it. Process it if I feel it is something to process.  And move on.  Also have been naturally drawn away from schedules (I no longer call meals breakfast lunch or dinner anymore – they are just meals.).  Can’t remember the last time I looked at the calendar.  I am sure clocks are next.  (i like her name by the way – enjoy saying “ingeborg” lol)

***

By Vera Ingeborg

August 15, 2017

We are in the middle of the bifurcation of timelines and realities shift. Old timelines collapse and there is no way back. While many of the early adapters are still feeling huge bi-polar shifts between the two realities and between love and fear, first movers are now entering more and more an energetic state of being that is called zero-point. The place where we are only observing, allowing and are moving along with the energetic flow without being entangled with any of the drama, stories and illusions of the old paradigm. We enter these points shortly before big energetic shifts – individually and collectively.

We have reached the critical mass now. The amount of people that went through their awakening process and have anchored themselves on higher frequency levels. The critical mass to cause a ripple effect to cause the grand awakening of the human collective. The evolution back from Polarity Consciousness into Unity Consciousness.

“We have reached the critical mass now. The amount of people that went through their awakening process and have anchored themselves on higher frequency levels.”

Transitioning is not easy. Transitioning means to let go of a lot of things and people we had developed an attachment to. And yet, attachment is not a natural state of being. It is an ego construct. Just as linear time is. We had developed these constructs to experience a life out of balance as far as possible. An experiment to see how far we could move away from our collective center. From Oneness. From Unity Consciousness. Our origin. The Source of all that is. The organism humanity went into collective amnesia and developed the concept of linear time, to give fear an artificial space to exist. To then create fear, it was necessary to cut off the conscious energetic connection to Spirit/Source (which caused the amnesia) and withdraw the feminine energy, creating the necessary misbalance. The masculine energy alone, without the balancing counterpart, experienced separation, lack and darkness. The energetic frequencies of fear were created. That was the fertile ground for the ego mind to evolve and grow and with it the illusion of duality. Further ego constructs evolved based on these concepts: Loneliness, danger, the need to survive, the need to be better than others etc. All of these were necessary to create the illusion humanity has been experiencing for eons (although also that is an illusion, as linear time does not exist). Humanity created its own auto-immune disease, fighting itself to move further and further out of balance, while living in this illusion. Now that we have reached the point of being furthest away from that inner balance of the collective before complete destruction of the organism humanity, it was time to end that experiment.

The Construct of Linear Time and the Ego

Now that we have more and more re-established our conscious connection to Source/All that is and have re-invited the mature feminine energy in, we entered that zero zone, where we experience the breakdown of the construct of linear time. And that means: Those that experience it are transforming the last bits of ego. And with it: The return of the mature masculine, the energy of doing, manifesting without any need of control.

The ego cannot exist in the NOW. The place where there is no linear time. The ego always needs the artificial space of linear time to project its illusions. Now that this space drops away, fear has no fertile ground. We remember enough now to not buy into these artificial programs any longer. We are not even able to relate to all the human drama, all the stories, as we can see right through the illusion. It feels like white noise, a frequency of a radio station, we are no longer able to receive.

“We notice that we are completely in the zero point field/NOW moment, when uncertainty does not upset us any longer.” 

We notice that we are completely in the zero point field/NOW moment, when uncertainty does not upset us any longer. As indeed it is our natural state of being. We are not able to create expectations, impatience, control, mistrust, conditions…, as they need a concrete reference point in the future. All we can be is unconditional, trusting and open to whatever comes, knowing it is perfectly in the flow. Human artificial structures such as schedules, appointments, daily routines become impossible to stick to, as they are not synchronizing with the Universal Flow. When linear time drops away, we automatically get access to the bigger picture. We align with unity consciousness and remember more and more of our essence and truth. All of a sudden we know things, we did not know before. We see and understand this all connecting energetic field, and how we incarnate into experiences in the physical. We are re-establishing the holy trinity. And with it, the full embodiment of Spirit, Soul and Body. Everything happens at once in the NOW as all possibilities are available, always. Linear time was helping to create the illusion that there were sequences and with it memories – that helped to keep fear projections alive. But what about past live memories, might the ego mind ask? All we do is choosing one or parallel experiences in a physical existence. Depending on where we tune in with our consciousness, we get flashes of information that feel like a past life memory although it is just a parallel reality we chose to access.

Those that are in the middle of this transition, will more and more have that experience, that even what happened yesterday feels like a past life memory. The truth is, we create every moment anew, nothing is solid. When we become multidimensional again, anything becomes possible.

“The truth is, we create every moment anew, nothing is solid. When we become multidimensional again, anything becomes possible.” 

Multidimensionality

Multidimensional experience is a super confusing, but also fun thing to experience. As we create moment to moment anew, we can also shift our realities quite easily. From the energetic frequency levels of the fifth dimension and onwards, we have all these different parallel timelines and realities available to access. And we choose our access point(s) into the field of all possibilities from moment to moment. And can alter as we wish once we are fully aligned. So what happens quite often while we are not yet fully stable and anchored in one frequency, is that we have to deal with multidimensional versions of other people, too. For example a 3D and a 5D self of a person. These seem to be completely bi-polar, do not remember what they had said before, or say even the complete opposite.

“That is the Mandela Effect. We are switching between different realities – collectively and individually and we remember things differently than they are in our current timeline we chose to access.”

The Mandela Effect is exactly this. We are switching between different realities – collectively and individually and we remember things differently than they are in our current timeline we chose to access. Our limited, fear driven ego mind was not able to understand any of this. Only now we are entering the process of transcending it completely into a free spirit mind. A mind that is connected to all that is, is able to connect all dots, comes up with brilliant ideas to set intentions: The basis for all creation. Now that the mature masculine comes back and balances within us with the mature feminine, we have set the foundation for co-creation with others. We are back in the field of unconditional love within.

Embodiment

In order to create, we need to be able to embody our connection to Source (the open heart-center) and Unity consciousness (the mature mind) in our physical vessel (the evolved body). We need the physical existence to be able to create. It is our physical body that lets us follow the energetic impulses we receive from the universal flow. The intention of the mind causes a feeling from the heart, which sets the energetic vibration that we emit into the field. We synchronize with frequency matches in the field (people, situations,..), we resonate and that creates our outside reality. The more we learn to read and “speak” energy (by feeling it), the more we are able to follow the natural impulses we are receiving constantly with our physical body: Our intuition. The deep knowing, this is what I have to do next, because it feels right. No matter what the rational mind might have to say about that to protect us. Once we have embodied the balance of the mature feminine and the mature masculine within, we are ready for the next phase: Co-Creation.

Next Stage: Co-Creation

Just as cells in an organism pair up to work together to create something, we are now more and more pairing up with like-minded and like-hearted people that have also found their balance within. This will be happening in all areas of life. Friendships, “Relationships” (much more a relatedness now, based on freedom), work, and activities of all sorts. First, we mainly feel drawn to co-create in pairs – members of our tribe that we have met while finding our true self in our process of awakening to practice balancing energy between two people/physical entities. They might remain in our experience as partner or will move on, and both will feel absolutely fine.

“Just as cells in an organism pair up to work together to create something, we are now more and more pairing up with like-minded and like-hearted people that have also found their balance within.”

That – on a sidenote – was one very important part of our journey. To find our people all over the planet, anchor the grid and activate it to build all these little centers for the ripples we are now creating for the big shift. Co-creating in pairs will help us to learn how to balance energy between two physical entities (people) before we will take the next step to create something even bigger, pairing up with other pairs that have gone through that process. Returning to community, oneness, completely new models of living based on love and abundance. This is the way how New Earth will take form quickly. We are all creating this together. We are passed the point of having to walk it alone. NOW: How perfectly organized and how exciting is this?!?

The texts I share are always based on my intuition (“downloads”) and/or on experiences of clients and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage you to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you. With lots of light and love, Vera Ingeborg

If you feel ready to work on raising your frequency, to align all of your bodies, to connect with like-minded and hearted people within a unique environment, come to one of our “Own It! Retreats”!

You want a true change in your life and reality? Although spiritual awakening can become quite challenging, there are many simple ways to navigate it as smooth and effective as possible. The key: Learning the language of Energy. Check out  the wake up program that I have created, to make this journey an exciting life changer for you! 

You find it helpful what you read? I am grateful for your support of my blog and writing and appreciate your contribution today. Thank you <3

Sourced from here.  

Maybe Now Is The Time To Listen…

 

Maybe now is the time to listen.

To listen to the cries of the black race who have stories to tell of oppression and mistreatment.

To listen to the demands of the Natives who have had enough of the government telling them where they can live and what they can do with their sacred land.

To listen to the silent tears of the children who have been abused, tortured, bought and sold by the most horrible of people.

To listen to the false cries of bravado by the masculine who has been mislead into believing they are the dominating, controlling gender all while completely forgetting their tenderness and vulnerability.

To listen to the far-too-often timid cries and stories of the feminine who has been suppressed and controlled while completely forgetting their power and right to control their own Being.

To listen to the cries of the neglected and abused animals who just long to live as we all do ~ freely, with dignity and love.

To listen to ALL of our stories.  Man.  Woman.  Black.  White.  Rich.  Poor.

We all have them.

And it takes a very open heart and a silent ego to be brave and willing to listen to the painful stories of another while recognizing our own triggers and be as brave and willing to put them aside, just for a moment, to Listen.

We see the collective rage.  We feel the collective pain.  We hear the collective screams of NO MORE.

We are in this Together.

Something magical happens when one truly feels listened to and heard. We’re inspired to heal.  We’re inspired to begin the process of forgiveness and letting go.  And we’re inspired to start telling a new story while seeing the truth ~ they are all stories.  And we all have them.

So maybe, just maybe, instead of spending all of our time screaming our own stories, we use a little bit of that time to Listen to the stories of another.  For nothing is more beautiful to me than the act of listening in silence, authentically, to another as they share their story.

Maybe it is time, Humanity.

Maybe it is time to just Listen.

***

 Your support of my work is greatly and gratefully appreciated.  

Schumann Resonance Today ~ August 15, 2017

 

Schumann Resonance Today

Reminder To Focus On The Timeline/Reality We All Want This Week and Into The Eclipse

 

This is a highly charged energy period.  I “feel” the dark ones are putting out frequencies to keep us low right now.  It is no coincidence that I read so many people speak of feeling anxiety or rage or extreme sadness today. Is that purely our collective cleanse or something else?  Or perhaps a bit of both.

This feels so important to me, I may write several pieces in the upcoming week to keep us all (myself included!) focused on creating the New.

Feel what it is you want.  Please.  Intend this new beginning in this Now moment.  Keep at it all week.  Daily.  Hourly.  Take little breaks to refocus and regroup.

A mass beautiful cleansing energy.

A full awakening and remembering of Who We Are.  Full Awareness.

A full return to Unity Consciousness.

A full return to individual freedom and sovereignty.

To Walk Fully Aware In My Truth and All Knowing Power.

To be fully immersed with the energies of gratitude, compassion, grace and awareness.

Forgiveness for self and for all Higher Self deems necessary for my personal healing and ascension.

A new earth realm with clean, pure air, water and land.

A full return of our abilities ~ teleportation, telepathy, telekinesis, instant manifestation, full instantaneous self- healing.

A release of all technologies that are healing and beneficial to all life.

These are my desires that I intend in this NOW moment.

I tap into these magical energies of highest love frequencies of creation and healing to intend all of the above into this Now moment.

I end this by stating I Intend The Timeline Of My Heart’s Desire.

I Am Divine Source Essence In This Amazingly Glorious Physical Body.

I Am The Creator Of All Of My Experiences.  In All Ways.

Always.

It is done.

And so it is.

 

 

The Energies and Experiences of August 2017 ~ Difficult Enough Already!

 

Editor’s note:  I really like this piece and offer over much appreciation to Denise. I most especially appreciate how she speaks of how difficult and a PITA (pain in the ass) this journey can be at times.  This expression of authentic raw human honesty/emotion is really needed ~ we need to hear/read/feel more of it from those whom we read for information as well as from one another.  It is so 3D to pretend we are above the struggle and pain of this journey.  lol  Also can feel those lower level/lower frequency beings disappearing ~ at least from these timelines we continue to create as we awaken/remember/heal/vibe up.  

***

By Denise Le Fay, 08/13/2017

A quick note for any who, like myself, have had a harder time of it since this specific phase activated on August 3, 2017. It’s okay if this hurts, if you feel like you’re not doing such a “great job” of it all, if you feel alone in what you and only you are currently experiencing. We all are in our own unique ways and I want everyone to realize that it’s okay to not look, feel, sound and occasionally act like a golden movie star super model rock god whose got it all together at the moment. That’s old lower frequency distorted BS consciousness so shake it off and keep evolving and Embodying.

What we’re doing, what we’re going through now is a wonderwork on every level and aspect of being which means it’s perfectly okay to experience, feel, encounter, be confused by, be frustrated by, be tremendously uplifted by, hurt from and LOVE every bizarre, outrageous, painful, shocking, never-before-experienced moment of all this. It’s okay, just keep moving through it and don’t think less of yourself or anyone else for experiencing some difficulties and pains and related weirdness because of what’s happening now to each of us. When you honestly share what you’re experiencing and that its oftentimes painful and/or difficult etc., lower ego consciousness people instantly believe you’re doing something “wrong” and that’s why you’re experiencing pains and difficulties. That’s the only range of awareness low ego consciousness is capable of perceiving so of course they find fault in others due to their lack of greater awareness and understanding. These people are however experiencing these mega August 2017 changes taking place too but at the developmental level (Stair-step) they’re currently vibrating at internally and externally.

Since August 3rd I’ve had some pretty outrageous physical experiences and encounters with other people, multidimensional visions, emotions, on and off again tears, come and go depression, periods of interference from the lower frequency and consciousness world and certain matching frequency Portal People in it, unwanted rapid-fire thoughts pummeling again, body and especially structural (bones, joints, spine etc.) body pains and more. I could write a small book about what I’ve experienced, seen and better understood since August 3rd, and we haven’t even reached the big August 2017 Solar Eclipse yet! And I know that if I’m having some difficulties and “tests” to push, to pressurize me into greater release of more of the old lower world and timeline and whatever remaining low-frequency stuff born of it, then so are many others. Also, there is no more down time, no more time off, no more off time, no more sliding back into old lower frequency parasitic ways of having someone or waiting for someone else to do it for you. Becoming sovereign means exactly that; becoming Source-Self-Contained constantly. Time to put on our big boy Divine pants and step into NEW Creator-ship individually.

I’ve also been having rapid-fire, crystal-clear, very close in my face type visions since the 3rd. I’ve experienced this many times before during the really large Shifts like what’s happening now. It’s like a bomb goes off in the old lower levels which blasts a lot of usually unseen beings and other things and structures etc. up and out and as they’re all flying around in the Light, you get to See them and vice versa as they fly past all super angry (and some completely surprised) at having been evicted from their long hidden locations in multiple dimensions and timelines.

Well over a decade ago I experienced multiple up close Mind’s Eye visions like this of a few nonphysical Reptilian beings. Back then they wanted to make contact with me in this way where they intentionally revealed themselves through a controlled by them up close, eye-to-eye type small etheric window. They wanted me to See them back then and I certainly did! What’s interesting to me with these up close visions I’ve had since August 3, 2017, is that the shoe is on the other foot now and it’s these negative ancient Beings, ETs, Devils and Demons that are being removed and/or going extinct in many cases. This aspect is not my personal Mission Work at this time but has been in years past, now however it’s to view some of them on their way out and away for good.

Don’t get hung up on the is it mine, is it hers, his, theirs type thinking about this or anything else. Is it mine personally? Yes. Is it theirs? Yes. Is it ours? Yes. Is it others? Yes. Is it All of ours from everywhere? Yes. And this is its “End Times”, its Separation of Worlds & Timelines from what has been for a very long time and some of us get to See and are needed to personally witness and energetically record these events for others for more reasons than I’m aware of or want to think about at this point. Think etheric Scribes; think etheric videos of time spent in foreign lands, dimensions and timelines; think Soul Records Departments and such. It doesn’t matter all that much at this point, only that it’s happening, and if you get to See some aspects of this Separation of Worlds and have it be one more thing added to your Divine Grand Resume, then so be it.   

Bye-bye Team Dark, so long, don’t let the Divine Evolutionary Door hit you on your ancient, different colored leathery and/or scaly backsides on your way out.

Most of this year I’ve constantly Seen an image in my Mind’s Eye of just a persons lower legs and feet slowly walking up a few stair-steps at a time. Two close stair-steps below where their feet currently are, ALL of the lower stairs have disintegrated into nothingness, just empty black space. Every time the person takes another one, two or three steps up the stairs, one, two or three stair-steps below the step they’re currently standing on disintegrates into nothingness.

The symbolism is perfect and informs us that as we continue moving up the Ascension and Embodiment Process stair-steps—Embodying more, evolving more, ascending more etc.—more higher steps manifest before us. As we move up, evolve, ascend these energetic stair-steps, all that was of the old lower frequency stair-steps—physical 3D Earth world and matching reality, consciousness, structures, laws, beliefs etc.—literally disintegrates into nothingness.

Those old lower stair-steps represent old lower Earth world/consciousness/structures/codes/templates/programs/beliefs are also timelines that are disappearing because there’s no more need for them. They’ve served their purposes and humanity is evolving beyond them and all that went with them such as global Duality, beliefs, habits, consciousness, systems and such. Said another way, the reason ALL the lower stair-steps are disintegrating and disappearing completely, is because we continue to Embody more, evolve more by our moving up more and more energy frequency Light stair-steps individually. As we move into more and more of the vast higher frequency NEW, more and more of the old lower everything both within each of us and externally in the world(s), time, timelines, space etc. is permanently disintegrating and disappearing. The wiggle room for us now is only about two stair-steps and soon even those will be gone. Worlds and their matching frequency timelines quickly disappearing now like a game of musical chairs…

A lot more to say and share but I just can’t do it now. Gotta get physically horizontal again and spend time in expanded HighHeart-ness so all this unfolds more easily for me and you and ALL. I just wanted to remind the readers that it’s okay to feel like refried doodoo as you live and witness all you are while evolving and Embodying more than has ever been available before. Oftentimes Ascension teachers/writers are so focused on what’s happening and all the complex details that they forget to or either choose not to publicly admit how difficult and painful many of these HUGE AP and EP phases actually are. No fear, no judgements, just compressed evolution into the ever-expanding NEW internally and externally. Use this rare everything now through to the Solar Eclipse and beyond because there’s more stair-steps we’re climbing and simultaneously more disappearing under our feet. Well done everyone and thanks for your ongoing Divine Service to Source, Self and All. 

Denise

Sourced from here.

A Little Message With A Powerful Meaning

 

Just heard this:  “There is no one like you in the Universe.  You are Unique. Exquisite.  No one is here to do what you do other than You.”

Rather comforting and healing…

Weird Phenomena and Today’s Blessings

 

A new neighbor/mama is sharing this strange experience as well.  What is this strangeness?  Not only NO desire to cook, but dinner/meal ideas no longer appealing.  And nothing new comes to mind or if it does, holds no appeal.  When she told me this I was floored and excited.  ME TOO, I said.

I am facing this daily now.  It was random for awhile but not anymore. Looking up new recipes used to be an obsession.  Now I hate it.  lol

Obviously I come up with something or else people around here would starve (rolling my eyes), but damn…  NOTHING food-wise seems to appeal to me.  Eating is becoming a chore instead of a pleasure.

Where am I headed?  To a state where I no longer eat?

To a reality where food replicator’s are provided for all instead of suppressed as they are in this one?

Whatever this “realm” I am in – this in-between stage – well it just sucks. I am ready to leap to the new.  Now.

I can give much thanks however to the miracles that did occur today – in spite of my not intending them.  In fact I resisted at first – but then was a little bit inundated with several in a short period I had to let them in.  And now I just want to punch my punching bag and cry and scream while giving thanks.  A rather paradoxical state to be in.

First miracle ~ dragonfly that kept showing up.  Always a message of love from spirit.

Second miracle ~ as I was stuck in my “white men” thought train (sorry my male readers – just being honest with old thoughts that were, honestly, understandably created at the time) ~ two guys drove by and waved at me.  One I had no idea who it was but it was such a sweet smile and wave…. and the other guy I know and he NEVER waves.  I always receive a frown/scowl.  While I received no smile, I will take a wave as an acknowledgement.

Third miracle ~ Talking with our wonderful neighbor who is family to us, I was lamenting my pain over my broken relationship with my father.  I just want him to feel proud of me.  To show me and tell me he loves me. To connect with me emotionally.  Accept me for who I am.  Show interest in what I do – especially my latest venture with this website.  My neighbor said he’s probably doing the best he can.  I know that, I said.  But my heart still aches for more.  I have never felt I am good enough in his eyes and mind and heart (wherever that is) and certain things/words he has tossed my way have made it clear what he really thinks of me.  My eyes welled up with tears and my neighbor said “well you can call me Dad and I will always listen to you.”  Voice cracks as I say “thank you” and give him a hug.  He means it.  He is not the type to say something like that unless he is sincere.

So releasing more old crap today that I wish I knew how to fully let go – purge out.  All at once.

And seeing where I am blessed and loved.

Just takes the heart awhile to make the switch it all.

Intense Energies Causing Intense Emotions

 

I have so little to say and yet so very much to say at the same time.  It has been a day.  Child fell off her bike, busting a cable.  More money to toss at that.  Then she stubbed her foot, cutting open her big toe.  I spent last night on the couch throwing up a meal I bought prepared because I was too exhausted to cook (and my intentions of creating an angel who just brings me a home-cooked meal just because has yet to transpire).  Trader Joe’s Spaknokita or something like that. Far too many onions.  The food was not tainted with anything as my mate and child ate the same thing w/o consequence.

Still feeling like shit today.  Body hurts.  Still waiting for things “out there” to change.  Still intending the same desires for myself.  The nightly meditations.

While inside is a giant FUCK YOU brewing wishing to be unleashed.

I’m kind of at a loss on how to create anything worthwhile, that I desire, in this reality anymore.

I am used to the struggle.  But never before has it been like this.

I surrender and let go.  Then what?  More “void”?

No thank you.  Spent far too much of my adult life in that “void”.

I know what I desire.

And I am tired of advice that doesn’t come backed up with authentic help or the question “what can I do for you”.  Does no one do this???  Unasked for advice repels me when it isn’t backed up with such a statement.

Are we gonna create a true authentic space of Unity or more of the same? More superficiality?

I opt for Unity and authenticity, myself.

For now, I am going to nurse this sore, ick-feeling body, put some more boo boo cream on my little one’s big toe.  The song lyrics “it don’t come easy” just went through my mind.  Not.  Funny.

Certainly not today.