by Prism Pantaz,
Guest writer, In5D.com
This is a message to my fellow empaths and lightworkers. I’ve stumbled onto something you may find helpful. A way of working with the Self to bring about your Truth.
I’ll start by stating it simply: We are not our behaviors, patterns or emotions. We are the field in which they exist.
To really understand the significance of that statement, a story is in order.
Now, I have heard this from various teachers over the years. I even understood it on an intellectual level. However, thinking something and knowing something are two different things.
Like many of you, I’ve been experiencing a very intense past couple years. All sorts of emotions and deep patterns have been coming up for processing and healing. I’ve been diligently working through issue after issue. On a deep level, I’ve understood I am working through all this to arrive at a new state of being. I refer to it as Unity Consciousness, Christ Consciousness or Buddha Consciousness.
Over the past few years, my main life focus has been working through and transmuting old patterns which do not serve me anymore. Boy have there been a lot. I look back at my writings and am amazed at how far I have come. I was creating “healing cycles,” where I would dive into a new issue, explore and heal the emotions behind it, and eventually (could be days, weeks or months later) shift the pattern to a new understanding or release it entirely. In each healing phase, I would be pulled deeply into the pattern to explore it emotionally and learn to love that aspect of my self. I’ve certainly found unconditional love to be the most powerful healing tool at my disposal.
During the shifts, there were times where it felt like my consciousness would expand. I could feel that I was more than just this body. I even spent some time in what I believe to be the start of Unity Consciousness – an expanded sense of Self, powered by pure love and a deep connection to all that is. Each time I’ve reached that state, I eventually got pulled back into ego consciousness by lingering patterns coming up for healing.
The most recent has been a doozy. A ‘complex.’ Perhaps the deepest pattern I’ve faced yet. It is connected to my ‘core’ issue – the fear of abandonment. Long story short, my ego has been creating a drama where it needs to worry about things I cannot control. It has created an insane amount of anxiety over the years. And I’ve decided to let it go.
A complex is like a bunch of individual strings (patterns) which get tangled together in a giant mind knot. The patterns trigger other patterns and are all interrelated. So I’ve been exploring this complex one string at a time. Healing and feeling the underlying emotions.
As I worked through one issue, it would bring me back to another I had already addressed. And the emotion would be back on that old issue… and this kept on happening. I felt like I was in a maze… and then I realized I actually was in a maze. Some people call it the ‘matrix.’ It was a maze of the ego mind. A constant identification with my patterns. “Why can’t I shift this? Why can’t I seem to heal this?” So I began exploring the maze.
I realized, the maze was safe. With all it’s negative emotions and anxiety, in the little bubble of my maze, my ego felt safe. When I really began to explore it, it felt like a little burrow… a dark, dirty little hole where I could hide from predators. Like I was a mouse, hiding. Outside this little burrow was a tremendous light. The ego self found that light overwhelming and preferred to stay in it’s burrow. I couldn’t break out of this maze… this burrow… no matter what I did. The ego mind could not heal the ego mind.
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