Thoughts Of A Weary Starseed Human

Let me begin by saying I am uncomfortable using the term “starseed”.  It implies that I am somehow better than most other humans – that I am somehow more special.  Or needed.  However, I use the word nonetheless because for as long as I can remember in this particular incarnation in this particular physical vessel, I have felt like I belong somewhere else.  Even though I believe and feel I have lived many lifetimes on earth, I am in some way from another planet.  Over the years I have had the thought “Where I come from we don’t do that” – a thought I especially began to experience a couple of years back.  Just where is this “where?”

I have no idea.  But I do know I have lived elsewhere.  And I also feel I decided to leave my paradise behind (paradise compared to earth) and go on an adventure – that adventure being to liberate the people of earth from the darkness that took over many thousands of years ago.  Along with liberating the people was the agenda of bringing earth back into the Galactic Universe of other peaceful, paradise-like planets.  At the time, I was totally up for the challenge.  I felt I could handle it.

Today though is a different story.  In a nutshell, I am fucking weary.  I have come to this planet so many times to help awaken humanity.  With each previous life recall I had nothing but struggle.  I was attacked by a bear.  Got killed during a bloody battle.  Stoned for being out in public as a mix-raced young woman.  Drowned at sea attempting to escape an arranged marriage with a beast who only cared about money and power.  And in my previous incarnation, I was raped by a priest, forced into an abortion and died on the operating table.  So I feel pretty assuredly and strongly when I say that being human in third dimensional reality is fucking hell compared to the higher dimensional planet’s.

But I keep coming back.  I believe along the way I got trapped in the reincarnation loop, which I believe is simply another extension of the Matrix.  What a wickedly ugly brilliant system to keep us returning – load us up with false light telling us we must have a life review then return to even out our karmic debt – this following a lifetime of systemic brainwashing by schools and religions and government and culture and family and friends that ensures we are obedient to whoever the designated master is all but reassures a quick return to this reality.

Thankfully we the Starseeds began to remember just Who We Are again.  And we returned to this place for just one last show – one last chance – to awaken the masses- only this time, our brother and sister star families, along with the Sun and energies coming from the center of our own Galaxy – are helping us make sure we get it right.  In a nutshell, this is the last time we’re doing this show.  Our final appearance.

That being said however, this girl is tired of trying to awaken the masses.  I am fed the fuck up with sharing the truth from my heart only to be dismissed, ignored, abused.  I am no longer under any illusion that other dimensional beings, who are intent on keeping us enslaved and trapped in this bullshit most of us call the Matrix, have been working through other humans throughout this lifetime (if not my previous incarnations as well) to keep me down, afraid and silent.  For while in this incarnation it worked.  I was bullied and teased relentlessly as a child and except for my room, I had no safe place.  I had no one I trusted enough to share my heart, my fears.  I learned that when I did speak up, I was usually not believed.  Anxiety set in at a young age and by the time I was in my 20’s, panic and agoraphobia were more or less the norm.  There was a bonus to this though as working outside of my home was just not possible – at least for the long term.  This gave me plenty of extra time to think and be – alone – in silence.  It was during this time my inner voice found a place to speak.

And speak she did.  Wow!  Suddenly I was questioning everything.  Religion.  Politics.  School systems.  Culture.  I dove into books on Spirituality.  That was a good start – but it wasn’t enough.  I was remembering slowly Who I Really Am.  I became fascinated with the paranormal, metaphysics, ufo’s and aliens.  Along the way I took up past life regression and began having these experiences that felt completely real to my body.  Some of the memories were so traumatizing, my entire body would shake.  One experience left me in near hysterics where I literally went someplace else in my mind and memory space and once I had experienced enough, I “returned” to my physical body where I felt like a metal door literally slammed shut in my mind and the memory was immediately gone.

9/11 sparked my next level of awakening.  I even had a premonition of the event the day before.  It was only days after that I began questioning the story we were being told.  I shared my concern with those in my life, and it was then that I really saw how even family can turn against you when you awaken.  I got it in spades with politics, religion and social issues.

In time I realized I needed to get my word out to the public so I did what most of us do – I started a blog.  I kept it going for several years before life decided to bring me my beautiful child.  However, not even the awesome responsibility of being a mama could stop me from my pursuits of knowing the Truth.  All I can say is thank god for the internet for it has given so many of us not only the chance to share our message with a massive audience, but it has also allowed people like me (more or less introverted with travel issues) to have a voice in this Awakening/Ascension experience.

My energies to share kept up at a good pace.  I was able to, more or less, handle it when others would question me or dismiss me.  Having a social media page, I got used to people removing me from their little lists of “people i am such good friends with”.  Whatever.  Good way to weed out the wheat from the chaff.

However, I don’t know if it’s these energy waves coming in changing me, forcing me to deal with my own shit and purging or if it’s my age – or both – but wow – am I weary of this journey. I am weary of this “awakening the masses” shit I took upon myself.  I know what I want.  I have known what I want for myself, for my mate and now most importantly for my child and I want it NOW instead of later.

“Be patient,” we are told – quite often by channelers of higher dimensional beings who have no fucking CLUE what it’s like to live on this planet in these bodies.  Patient?  Really?  When we have been coming to this planet for thousands of years we are being told to be patient?  Talk about false light matrix bullshit.

I want to know where these star families are.  It isn’t enough anymore that I have seen their ships or had dreams and experiences of being with them.  IT  ISN’T  ENOUGH.  Not anymore.  I have read where we must ALL rise together to the new earth.

Why?  Sorry but at this point if you are not awakened – no – if you are UNWILLING to awaken with all of the insanity and chaos and lies and corruption played out every damn day for all to see – then guess what?  You can stay behind.

It’s like I and those of you like me have been on a very very very long road trip and at the very least we want a vacation, at the most we want the finish line.  We DESERVE that.  We have done work most aren’t strong enough to handle.  We have risked our reputations, relationships, finances and the like to bring our messages here.  And again (signaling the choir) – WE ARE TIRED AND DONE.

Let us manifest this paradise on earth now.  We can do it.  Let us stop focusing so much of our energies in sharing our messages with the masses and instead focus on what we want and KNOW we can have it. NOW.  Thoughts create, right?  And these energies coming in are said to help us manifest “faster”.  Let’s stop falling for this “we must be patient” chanting.  You know the saying – unless you are walking in my shoes you cannot tell me how to think/feel/believe/do.  We aren’t children, after all.

I feel many of you can relate to this.  I think even though most of us seem to be scattered throughout the planet (this sucks at times doesn’t it?), I also believe energetically we can feel each other.  So let’s join together.  We can do this.

Are you with me?


I realize this piece was like listening in to a counseling session or reading the private pages of a personal journal.  I wrote it to not only share my feelings of how truly tired and weary I am much of the time these days, but to also validate the feelings I know many of you are feeling.  In my quiet times, I still feel that love for humanity.  I still have moments where I want to share my Truth (although that is waning – obviously).  I feel the pain of our sufferings.  I want ALL of us to awaken and rise together.  But life keeps showing me this isn’t necessarily going to be the case.  I do not want my precious child to experience the same world I and her daddy have.  All of the little ones deserve so much better – we all do.  It is long past time for each one of us to not only have this feeling on occasion but to hold it in our hearts daily and walk that inner talk.

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Author: Victoria1111

Truthseeker. Philosopher. Goddess. Starwoman. Freedom and Justice Creator. Writer. Musician. Composer.

183 thoughts on “Thoughts Of A Weary Starseed Human”

  1. Wholeheartedly agree with you.The rug needed to be pulled from underneath people .Here in Ireland nothing will wake them up.Thousands of children homeless ,but on they slumber .

    1. kieran~ i have heard that as little as .04% of humanity is considered “awakened”. i like to believe it is more than that, but with my experience here in the states, most seem to be unaware or either just apathetic. we also have a large number of homeless children here in my small city and it saddens me to hear of how it is in ireland. t/y for reading and responding.

      1. Just had a bombshell Victoria .We were never meant to wake others up.In fact ,trying to ties us to the illusion .We need but hold the truth that the seperation never truly happened .The suffering of others need not affect us anymore .We can be free and still here.This is my feeling anyway .Thanks dear heart for your time .

        1. i like that idea – as weary as i have become as trying to awaken others there is a small voice that says this isn’t my “job”. i can’t ever awaken another. all i can do and am here to do is be ME – remember who i really am and then be it. and that’s enough. t/y for reading and commenting. 🙂

      2. Fucking eh man just read your article on in5d and as a rule I never write or reply online to anything. Recently I’ve been thinking it’s about time that I try to find others who are the same as me and then I read your article and here I am writing to you. likewise, I see the numbers to, have done for the longest time and have been awakened I think all my life, just can’t remember thinking or feeling any different. Likewise again, over here in England, everyone’s just as ignorant as they seem to be everywhere else and to be honest, that’s there own fucking fault!!!! It doesn’t matter how you say it, when you say it or whatever is your way to approach the subject of awakening, your always that fucking nut job and here we go again and why don’t you just fuck off with all this bollocks. The sheeple are asleep and that’s where there staying. I’m convinced it’s not are job to awaken them, it’s there’s and there responsibility unless they choose to change then we’re there to help. But I also think that really they just don’t want to know. they are happy to sit in front of that black rectangle day in day out and talk about nothing but fucking football and fucking eastenders(crap soap opera) and talk about themselves and each other(sad fucks!!!) after all it’s there life, they have free will alledgedly to choose.

        So like you get fucked off with it all and why am I wasting my time with people who never ever listen to more than they have to before taking the piss, well fuck you…. So I decided it’s time to find some real people who are just like me and get in touch and maybe together we can figure out what we’re actually supposed to be doing because no one really seems to know exactly what the fuck all this actually means and why me. I mean, I’m really just a small town wide boy just trying to make ends meet, nobody special apart from the fact I’m pretty clued up on 11 11 and everything spiritual, ET’s ufo’s etc etc…. and where it’s all leading? and again my patients is getting thin to and some answers would be lovely right about now or at least some clarity. If we are something more, something special, why are we kept in the dark. yeah and there’s probably a thousand questions to follow that need answering also…. Anyway’s we’re birds of a feather we should know each other and the rest of our, what seems to be, a very unique family… The chosen one’s ha ha. So you now have my email, drop a line or two and I will give you all my Skype/mobile numbers and see where this leads, look forward to speaking with you


        1. well good to see i’m not the only one who throws in an f-bomb now and then when speaking from truth and passionately. i realize i have struck a real nerve (in a good way) with many – sent out an energetic ripple – which was likely a search call to find my tribe. and darn if we aren’t just all over the world. at this point i think we should all be on a giant farm somewhere away from the insanity. call ourselves the psychedelic sheep farm (i don’t even identify w/the black sheep). it hurts – a lot – and is so maddening when people simply refuse to wake up. but like you said – and as i am finally accepting – it isn’t our “job” or even purpose to wake up the masses. our responsibility is towards ourselves and our own awakening – and then when the time comes – which i believe it is coming quickly either because it literally is soon or because time is speeding up headed to the energetic space where it stands still and there is no time – anyway at that time we can be of help to the unawakened who are more or less forced energetically to awaken and vibe up. or if this disclosure event happens – to help them during that as well. let them know “it’s ok – i have seen this happening – it’s ok – just be peaceful”. i have “seen” myself doing that in the past. today though – i don’t know. right now my focus is on letting go of, well, anything that doesn’t make me feel good, loving and loved. i don’t skype – i use linux – and d/loaded it but can’t get it to work – it doesn’t seem compatible. i just need to get my computer guy out here to fix that as i am not a computer nerd. just a spiritual one. 🙂 thank you for writing and for your honesty and welcome home (i need to start saying that to everyone).

  2. I have something to talk to you about. I’m a girl who is just like you. I am 31, and we are the same mind right now.

    For the last six months of my life – I have been screaming out to the cosmos, my guides, upper dimensional beings, and what have you – YOUR PRECISE WORDS. No not just some of them, but all of them. It’s as if I was reading my own daily ramblings to myself. I have hollered and yelled that I am done, that I am through with the harassment from mankind who rejects my wisdom/love daily, that I can no longer take these lying capitalistic systems that have forced me to doubt who I am. To judge who I am. To think I’m not worthy of food, shelter, water, or basic human rights unless I SLAVE AWAY Into mass consumerism and become a fake phoney Kadastrian over sexualized robot. What has this world come to, I have to ask? People do not want to be awakend, that is for sure. In a moment I am going to link you to an ‘online forum discussion’ I just had with other dedicated so called “students” of the Law of One (RA material, perhaps you’ve heard of it). Quickly, my wisdom is shunned and I’m told I’m having “distortions” and have no idea what I’m talking about…

    Any way, we’ll get there in a moment. Let me tell you – Since I was a small child, I knew I wasn’t from here. By the time I was 13, I started seeing into my past lives weekly. This has gone on all the way until recently (I am now 31). I have had 100’s of dreams from a humble indigenous life in the rain forest (in one it appears I was a South American boxer, actually), and 100’s from a french life in a castle. I often times have switched genders. My veil is thin, naturally. By the time I was 26, a new form of visions begun following a spontaneous and sudden move to retreat to the mountains of Colorado away from the fake, phoney city life I had known in Kansas City, Missouri. I started seeing into the future, and traveling to holy/sacred spaces in the universe through out of body experiences that were happening weekly as well. It was these visions that later led me to channeled material of Edgar Cayce, The RA material, a course in Circles, and more. I soon was able to CONFIRM the sacred places I had already traveled too (Without prior knowledge, mind you. At least in this lifetime). How? because they had been written about, and I had already been there. I had already traveled to the rings of Saturn and actually saw the doorways/entrances where the confederation is. I had already been to the living/illuminated/florescent light filled temples/lodges of the Sirius system where Ascended masters often times spend their time, or live. I had met beings from other civilizations who handed me ancient manuscripts explaining the reality of our neck of woods in the Milky Way galaxy. I have seen much.. I stupidly have not written down all the seemingly countless travels I’ve been on, but I have decided I will start. Many things I still have from memory.

    So, that’s a brief introduction to the illusion of “Angela”, whoever this fucking person is I’m carrying around this lifetime. All I know, is that I feel every ounce of your turmoil… In that enough is enough. I am not going to do this ever again. What a mistake it was offering to help here.. I have taken enough abuse.

    I would like to get to know you. I do not normally say this to other women because well, 99% of them are backstabbing competitive liars who want to act/walk/talk like the hollywood women they see on TV. They lack the courage to discover their true creative forces of light. Why? I’ll never know. But you are like me, and I am truly impressed by your words here. It is nice to become acquainted with you.. Let’s talk some time on Skype. I am fascinated.

    Here is the link I mentioned – ignore my original post as I started this thread – but look to the second page where we (mostly all guys, and then there’s silly little female me – men never take female masters seriously), discuss the logistics of the perils of technology, ascension, and the loving vibration. I hit them with total truth, and clearly they can’t handle it.

    Also, you should be able to see my email in the forum here. I’d love to get to know you and find out if we are from a similar star family. Who knows?

    1. i want to quickly reply to all of you beautiful souls who are commenting. i am in tears due to gratitude – and knowing i am not alone – which of course i know i’m not – just gotten very weary at my age (50, btw) of feeling so alone – being surrounded by those unawake and refusing to awaken – the bullying, the criticizing – to be able to share ME and my truth and to have that truth returned w/such love and thoughtfulness touches me so deeply. soul sister’s. 🙂 i will respond more later and address each of your comments. have a child and 3d life stuff to tend to now. blessings!

      1. Hi Victoria.
        I’m middle age male over 60ty. Came to Canada from communist than Poland over 30 years ago.
        Before I left my country then I always had a feeling I do not belong here. My real awakening started about 25 years ago. I remember time when coming back home from Sunday mass make me agitated and sometime mad. Over the years being person who knows more like you and other “outsiders” makes my life difficult, subjected to laughs and bad jokes when trying to explain and talk about different realities, incarnation with family and friends. I know in my heart I have a lot with Pleiadian beings and thank to this soul influences been strong and powerful in my beliefs. I understand your frustration when all around behave like aliens not normal human beings.
        Let keep our vision of better world in our hearts, I believe and have the feeling that the s…t is going to hit the fan very, very soon. Tired, like most of our minority less than 1% we need to prevail regardless of our frustrations and backlashes. Guys few more pushes and we are going to be over the peak.
        Darkness is in retreat.

    2. angela~ you sweet soul – i would love to get to know you more! i have been calling out to the Universe a desire to connect with my goddess soul sister’s. i am 50 although people think i’m in my 30’s thanks to good genetics and a refusal to “grow up”. my 6 year old keeps me young too. although as i said – i am weary and tired. i will check out the thread. i am familiar with the teachings of RA (law of one) – and yet i recently read someone who claims to channel this being and i didn’t like what he said. he (RA) is said to say that disclosure must wait another 100 years because of humanity not being ready. myself and a few others called “bullshit” on that one. those of us who came here to be a part of this demand disclosure. plus i know what love is. love helps. love doesn’t watch another drowning, yell out instructions to paddle and then say “i’ll be back later when “I” feel you are ready.” lots of disinfo out there and i have fallen for a lot of it. at this point i’m pretty much just focused on my own Source Voice and currently expanding my feelings on that – soul, spirit, over soul, higher self. multi-dimensional being – my mind is expanding into that area. your experiences are fascinating! my past life recalls have been far less extensive – although at the time i was exploring it – in my late 30’s – i was receiving a lot of info and it felt overwhelming so i let it go and haven’t explored it. i’m open to knowing more – but wow – being a mom takes up so much of my energy (and i don’t have much of that) – i get very little free time. when she’s in bed, i get on this thing, research and post on this blog of mine. i can say i can count on one hand the number of times a female has said “i would like to get to know you”. i was always drawn to older females when i was younger because i justs couldn’t relate to the girls/women my age. too much drama. i feel for you. being older now has some advantages in that most of my female friends now are older – the drama has waned – much more down to earth – BUT finding one who is like-minded – well that just hasn’t happened yet in the way i long for. i should tell you i cannot get skype with the operating system i have – i tried last year – i installed it and could not get it to work – followed the directions on how to install on linux – nothing worked. i’m not very computer literate mostly because i choose not to be so i let it go. but i will find your e-mail on the forum and send you an e-mail. and yes – the white male patriarchy energy is still alive and well. i see it far too often. in men and women. as far as what star system i feel a connection to – i’m just not sure. are you familiar with corey goode? he talks of a woman – karree – who i believe is pleiadian. anyway i had an amazing experience in the astral world where i went from this reality to another – and i spoke extensively w/a woman who i thought she said her name was “darree” – when i read of his experience w/her it clicked w/me that this is who i as well had spoken with. he had an artists rendering of her and wow – the similarity was spot on. so i would say pleiadian – i feel a definite draw to that system. but i won’t really know until i fully reconnect, you know? anyway – have more comments to read. i will be in touch. t/y and mucho blessings to you angela.

  3. Thank you so much! Your realness is refreshing. I am so tired too!!! I also know I am not from here. The way the compressed energy is messing with me is, thru keeping me alone, decade after decade, without connecting with my life partner, without deep love in my life.

    I will that this end NOW!!! I know you are out there!!!

    So much love,

    1. thank you for commenting and reading shastra. i sometimes think – ok i believe – that some if not many of these blocks we experience in our lives are the other dimensional fuckers keeping us trapped where we are so we will be less visible to the public and/or less able to experience the joy we desire – and that includes life partner’s. i do believe this as well though – even more strongly – and that is what you seek is seeking you. sometimes the answer comes when we can fully release and let go and then experience the energy of being w/that person – of what that will feel like – and then BAM in one beautiful moment you connect. and thank you for the nice words on my realness. usually i am too much for others. 🙂 much love to you and blessings.

  4. Here three excerpts I said to a group of, again, so called “serious students of RA” (all male, of course.. where are the ascended ladies out there? I Guess posting selfies on facebook and trying to be hot)… All of this they couldn’t handle:

    “Hi Scott, though generally I totally agree with all of you’ve said, there is something known as service for the sake of service where one does not expect anything in return. This is clearly possible and does happen in our universe. Do you think the confederation expects anything in return when they offer their channelings and universal wisdom? So, the idea (and I do mean only an idea, not factual as something that will happen) of extraterrestrial intervention from beings who somewhat (or maybe a lot?) understand this whole ascension ordeal, may not come in the form of them expecting us to pay them back. It isn’t always one being being indebted to another. This isn’t about “saving the human race” so much is it about not idly standing by as your younger and less wisdom filled brothers eat each other alive. Part of becoming a Christ-consciousness infused being is truly not expecting anything in return when offering help to others. Look at the incredible work RA has done for us – you can call that slight intervention if you’d like. But what the world is facing now, which is on the brink of WWIII and complete chaos I think many would argue, is in desperate need of help. I would say we definitely need intervention on a massive scale. Our civilization is no longer capable of fixing its own problems, and it won’t. From much of the things I’ve read (if it were true, and that is a big IF obviously), this type of intervention would be merely for the purpose of helping people unlock the potential of their love/higher consciousness potential through light technology in a world that is driven by greed/money/power/capitalism… Again, all hypothetical – I am not claiming it will or won’t occur.

    As many have stated the obvious, we are all subjected to consciousness-slavery through our delusional systems of capitalism and consumerism (Dr. Steven Greer argues this all the time, I really love his work). The very practice of capitalism, I believe, is a deadening one to our energy centers on the spiritual plane. The ego gets off on it, and so sure, it physically/emotionally feels like a rush to be successful at the things we do in relation to our businesses – but the spirit? Definitely not. This is not the vibration of PURE and true love.. I understand this vibration, if I can so humbly say, and I have learned over the years that people don’t want it. They rather spit on it. They (a vast majority of mankind) prefer a sugar coated version wrapped up fish net stockings and lipstick. It’s one of the reasons people who are truly in tune with the true vibration of the blue ray chakra are constantly attacked. People cower in the face of pure loving vibration. I have learned that much in my life. Most of what we see in this world is false/fake portrayals of love – not pure loving vibration that has the ability to produce its own light and eventually evolve forward to become a co-creator and unify/merge with other consciousnesses and portions of intelligent energy.

    I don’t think social memory complexes such as RA or Q’uo reached the status they are today through superficiality and petty entertainment, selfies, social media, materialism, or technology that is solely being used for addictions/porn/games/mindless activities.. This world is a mess and it DOES need help. I didn’t want to get into it earlier with the person who suggested technology has been a “good” thing in today’s 21st century. No, no it hasn’t. I’m 31 (though I know I don’t look it), and I have spent a lot of time around youngsters being a teacher’s aid and tutor through out my 20’s. What I have witnessed is appalling, and it is all due to technology. Younger generations are not opening up to this vibration – they are deadened to it as they peer down at their Angry Bird Apps, some looking at porn at the age of 12 and younger while in school on their cell phones between breaks, many updating instagram/twitter with self-absorbed sexy selfies, and on and on and on. These newer generations are completely full of narcissism. I live on the ocean and go hiking daily – when I see younger people 18 and younger on the trails (the generation of social media), they are tunnel visioned staring down at their phones almost running into trees. Amongst all the purity of second density which is so deeply connected to the pure vibrations of God, they are in completely lost in the illusion of self-obsession and mindless techie activities. Technology is not the gateway to ascension my friends, not unless its the “light technology” we have all read about possessed by some of the more advanced civilizations. Even RA speaks about how these technologies were abused by the Egyptians, and what a failure it was to try to share these ascension/consciousness boosting (enhancing) technologies with us. I seriously doubt we’re even ready for it today. Am I saying we are doomed as a civilization? Yes, without intervention we are. Are we capable of more? Sure, of course we are. But it would take an event large enough and traumatic enough to SHOCK this world and wake it up. Otherwise, I know in my heart what we are headed towards as a civilization. In the end, it really doesn’t matter since all things in the universe are temporary and transformation will occur one way or the other. But I am saddened and deeply disappointed with those who are unwilling to do what it takes in THIS lifetime to be amongst the few who will graduate into fourth. I guess if 98% of this world wants to repeat the third density in another sphere of existence – so be it. I truly stand by that analysis. I actually rooted and cheered when I heard about the Facebook satellite being blown up (A UFO can be seen flying in the background, not surprisingly. I don’t think it was a bird. You’d have to be kidding yourself to say it was a natural phenomenon or bird that sped across the background at the exact moment of the explosion, and later, it shot out at a diagonal path moving out from corner to corner). Granted, I know there was also an Israeli satellite on there as well. Clearly, things are going on we the public are not aware of here. Intervention may have already begun without our knowledge of it. ”


    “Concerning capitalism and money (remember, Ra states that the reason they were able to ascend so quickly was that their third density reality didn’t have a money system) – the issue is that it involves a level of manipulation over other minds, always. I don’t care what one does to make a living – it involves manipulation. And when that is being practiced, the vibration that manipulation holds in order to make a sale or sell a product (even scientists are guilty of this), it essentially ruins the purity of loving vibration. Then the potential of activating fourth density skills are lost. Of course, I do remember RA saying the rare circumstance of an ascended negatively oriented fourth dimensional being that can emerge through the indigo ray spinning brightly and fiercely. Apparently, one can completely lack the loving (creative forces) of the vibration of the blue ray chakra and still ascend. A bit scary. But, it’s just “the creator experiencing itself”, I have to remember. So there is no right or wrong here.. But worth the discussion. ”


    I think you are on the right track, but my opinion (or actually I would go as far as to say I’m channeling this), is that true union isn’t just “practical” out of some sociological concept of Functionalism (missing pieces needing to be filled in, and what not)… It is the only truth, and its all there ever was in the beginning. It is the only truth because we all were present, we were all there, every one of us was part of the original extension from the original thought. The way it did this was through the loving vibration. A vibration so intense we could scarcely imagine it in these third density bodies. It sounds simplistic, but its the truth. I have found myself at the center of galaxies a few times, in travel.. I have felt what they feel while they are spinning their arms of radiance. It is an ecstasy so intense, that all you understand is extension/radiance/giving birth, and nothing else. There is no identity, self, or names in this place. I had no name, and knew not who I was nor any memory of my life (or any lifetimes) here while I returned to this state temporarily. I only knew I was the energy of the center of the galaxy.. I could never replicate this vibration in my awake state or in this vehicle. As mentioned before on the previous page, I almost died from this travel. It is our destiny, all of us, to return to this intense vibration of extension. Mergence and unification, where minds actually become one in a social memory complex for example, is considered (stated by RA actually) to be a fuller expression of the source field (or God, whatever term people want); this phenomenon is possible/occurs because it is the natural state of God, a state of being being remembered by a group of individuals tossing their identity to the wind to merge and become a larger whole. So when RA, Q’ou, or other social memory complexes formed – it was because they were evolving to a point they could remember BEING the one, being the source field itself, and being God. This that ‘beingness’ so many entities are trying to teach us is possible. We are all in love with one another more than we know because we started with one as one, and we will return to the one in time. We just hide and run from it through distractions and false portrayals of perversions (wrongly called love) in our society. And its those lies we tell ourselves, our egos tell us, that is keeping us separated. ”

    Again, why share wisdom with people who can’t handle it? How many more pies in the face can some of us take? I had a group of beings explain to me through an out of body travel that I was part of a special 50 incarnations, known as “50 daughters/sisters” who were to incarnate here through specific months of 1984, and 1985. A lot was said to me about these daughters. I won’t go into the whole thing now… But, I know we are to find one another. When were you born?

  5. By the way,
    Just to go on record – I have never done drugs in my life. None. Not even Pot.
    My visions and out of body traveling occurs naturally. I am sure you can relate. I’d love to hear about your visions since you mention having them.

    I pity/feel sorry for those who rely on such mediums just to ‘feel’ something outside this density.

  6. Oh, and a little line out of the three excerpts I just posted (excuse my fourth post here, I guess I’m just excited about seeing a girl talk the way I have seen you express yourself, so much like me)-

    You might recognize this one: ” I guess if 98% of this world wants to repeat the third density in another sphere of existence – so be it.”.. In fact, it looks like we were saying the same things on the same day… Fascinating.

    1. yes – i have reached an emotional and energetic space where i feeeeel if you don’t want to awaken – you want to stay here in this reality – spinning on capitalism and competition – fine. that is your choice. i however wish to live in another reality where the skies are deep, dark blue and the water pure. the food healthy and natural and REAL. no monetary system (i began having that vision in my 20’s and have had a lifelong inner disgust of money and this ‘need’ to make it – having dealt w/agoraphobia i believe it is largely been about a rebellion against going out into the world and conquering what you can). earlier today i posted info on chemtrails – a video showing whistleblowers in the aeronautic, science and medical fields testify – and the blind stupidity that came back at me riled me up. it was my post so i ended up deleting it. i live in one of the most “educated” cities in america and i laugh at this title. to be educated simply means, of course, my brain was filled with information, most of which is false and useless. anyway i read your comments and am both impressed and moved by your words. you “get it”. 🙂

  7. Hello all,
    I have lived more than 50 years feeling a sense of futility for most of the time or to phrase it another way, in a relentless fucking nightmare. I get it. It is always darkest before dawn. Hang in there. The emptiness and despair and feeling totally over it will transmute to feeling oneness and being home. Not one of us will regret this experience. We will feel honoured and blessed. Nothing gives us greater joy than to be of service. We are needed. Find the light and laughter in your day and embrace it, watch it grow. See how quickly people will change from seeing us as irrelevant nutjobs to seeing us as angels of light and love, in awe of what we have experienced. Our goal has been to be of service. We have succeeded. We are to be congratulated. A fabulous party awaits us. Hang in there and focus on the joy in your lives. This is the most worthwhile experience we will have. Make the most of it.

    Eternal light and love always,

    1. thank you claudia. i appreciate the wisdom of your words. being 50 myself, and self-admittedly often behaving like a rebellious teenager, i hear that beautiful voice within that tells me similar words – to be love. to share. to practice love. starting with myself. i think as women we tend to forget the importance of loving ourselves. for me, it isn’t about service to self vs. service to others. that is duality. to me it’s about having love for all – which includes ourselves. i am certainly ready for this leg of the journey, which feels like it has been thousands of years, to transform into the world i and so many of us hold visions of. blessings to you.

    2. Beautifully spoken Claudia.
      I’ll be seeing you at the party.
      I have a feeling we will recognize each other.
      Love to all you beautiful shining souls out there.

  8. I found your message today through another site, and was shocked when I finished reading. I’m a 28 y/o male, stuck in the illusion that is “Billy”, much like Angela said. It’s been a slow day at work and so I’ve been discussing stuff like this with my co-worker all day, then when I came across your post, I was floored because it sounded like I had written it.
    While I haven’t had cognitive recogniton of past life experieces, or even OOB experiences, much less the rare lucid dream, I CAN say I have never felt at home. Not once in this life.
    From my PoV, I’m one of these “special ones” (though I abhor labels like ‘special’ or ‘chosen’ or ‘indigo’ or ‘starseed’ because I feel it creates a rank of order, which I can’t stand). From my earliest remembrance I’ve felt different than everyone, was quiet (or rather, observant), and what seemed common sense to me just blew other people’s minds. I didn’t get into all of this information that’s available now until a few years ago, so I can only imagine the compounding difference y’all older than me have taken on. I’m an empath defined. The whole channeling your higher self seems foreign to me also, as I feel that I purport as high of my Aspect as I feel I can reach (as much as I can without falling back into who Billy has to be in certain regards).
    I have nothing but love to give this world, but I feel locked off from a power that’s just on then other side of my skin. A power we all have, where the imagination is the only limit. But I cant, and I’m infuriatingly expected to just keep dealing with delay. I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired…
    I can’t even get a weekend to myself, much less a proper vacation.
    So to get nothing but messages of hope and light and “keep holding on”, I agree, that shits easy enough to say when you’re not dealing with it, when life’s easy on the other side of the pig pen fence. I’m tired of yelling at the stars for my own semblance of the Truth, and getting no answer.
    I’m willing to help, I want to fix this planet, but I’m tired of someone else deciding when. I want it now. I want to connect with the others like me. I don’t want a blog, I don’t want to march, I want to get started.
    Lets. Fucking. Go.


    1. While I’m tired, I’m ready. When I do try to feel out some of the future, it feels like we’re almost there. Like it’s walking up the steps about to ring the doorbell. That’s the image I get. I have no outside confirmation, but I’ve learned to trust my gut. Finding your message only bolsters it, because it shows me there’s honestly more souls like mine, that I’m not alone and crazy.
      That and the other day I was thinking to myself about the supposed higher manifestive capacity we’re supposed to be in, said “ok universe, you’re so find of sending the 1111 combinations (1101, 111, etc), I said pull me up one in full.” My final customer before lunch was awnry and had a bad experience a few years back, and my boss was trying to send me to lunch, but I didn’t want the customer to feel pawned after everything already, so I told her if finish it. Printed his receipt, which I saved, had a print time was 01:11:11. I was like O_O

      So like I said.
      Tired, but ready. We’ve stated it, so let it be so already. I’ve got exploring to do and paradise to create.

    2. Forgot to mention in regards to the feminine and masculine archetypes, I’m male, identified as “gay” for all intensive purposes, but I’ve always expressed the full (I feel) 50/50 mix of the 2. I’ve always hated when people tried to stuff levels and boxes around. I’d rather just a person be exactly who they are. So I never cared if people looked at me weird for acting feminine, while looking masculine. Hated society’s definition of masculine, of feminine. I’ll be me, you be you.
      Both the God and Goddess flow through me. The vision I have for creation is unbelievable, and even it’s just scratching the surface of the infinite.
      If we were able to band together, Restored, though? Sweet Source.

    3. i appreciate your honesty billy. have you ever spent time asking yourself what “name” you wish to be called? like your star name? i say that because how you put your name in quotes and how obviously it doesn’t define you in any way. i’m playing around w/a couple of names – words – that resonate w/me in how i would like to be addressed. anyway – yes – thank you for the validation too – this “hold on and be patient” has worn the FUCK on me, as i stated. i think the answer is for like-minded souls like us to unite – stay connected – to help one another – support one another emotionally/spiritually. it isn’t like we can really go to a counselor and talk about these things. we can – but it doesn’t help. i know because i have tried. and i don’t like labels either. i annoy other people frequently – not intentionally though – because they can’t put me into a worldly culturally defined box. are you a liberal? conservative? christian? wiccan? victoria – who are you? as my child says “i am ME”. i get those numbers too – that started in my 20’s back in the 90’s. 1:11 11:11 12:34 then in time 3:33, etc. etc. today i see them and just smile and say “thank you Universe” and tune in and see if there’s something i need to hear. and trust that gut like you say you do. it was grilled into me by family and culture to prove my ideas with facts. i don’t “do” facts because of the “fact” that they distort the exploration of truth. i go by my hunches. my instincts/intuition. i will just “know” things w/o anything to back it up with 3d facts. and yes – we all carry the god/goddess energy. time to inject the goddess energy back into our reality to balance out this out of control masculine dark crap. anyway…. thank you for joining in the conversation. lots of blessings to you.

      1. I’ve thought about other names, but at the same time, named feel as unnecessary as they seen necessary. In video games I go by Solomon, which sounds a little more correct in my head.
        It’s like Law of One’s Ra referring to words as “vibrational sound complexes”, that’s how I feel about names.
        The number sequences have been like standing in a floodgate. Bunch of triples, 1234 and the 1111s, all day, every day, gradually gaining intensity as my Search started about 5 years ago now. I even got one in a receipt just now at work of a print time of 10:11:11, today.
        Whenever I’ve pondered to myself or had a discussion with the open minded co-worker, some article (that resonates) is brought to my attention usually the next day, succeeding a flood of numbers. Stuff like this is part of what has let me keep going this far without too much self doubt, since I had no real contact with others like me.
        Also, I don’t like this whole “ascension symptoms” thing that’s started, because every malady, minor or major, has suddenly become someone’s ascension symptom.
        To me the only honest symptom, at least from my perspective, is a pulling exhaustion. That or it’s some scalar attack or whatever. I’ve had a few times lately a rapid draining of my energy, on days that weren’t taxing at all. That was a couple weeks ago.
        I’m feeling hopeful again.

        1. i sometimes question whether these symptoms are due to the body changing into higher vibes/crystalline or due to, as you said scalar wave attacks, chemtrails (i have read where they are either using lithium on the populace or have had plans to – that can certainly explain the drugged feeling i have experienced – it is horrible). how are we supposed to know? i would sure like to. i feel like i am waiting for something to happen – and yet what is it? i don’t know how to prepare for it and i don’t like surprises and i don’t like playing guessing games. lately i’ve felt as though my higher self and guides have taken a vacation and i’m left to myself. i’ve read where others are experiencing the same. could be, again, the a-holes creating energy barriers to create that vibrational distance. or could be part of the process. anyway…the number combo thing is awesome – i had it a LOT during the first several years of my “awakening” as well. now it’s just here and there.

          1. Hi Victoria I love your post. Im in a mainstream job surviving/pretending to be someone else. Im also weary as I spent alot of time being harrassed by 4d beings however i used various healing techniques to keep sane, smile & stay above water. Im born able to do what shamens do but Im Irish, raised catholic,some of my relatives esp my Granny are the same. I also dont think Im a starseed. Im a warrior. Myself and an American lady Jeanette realised noone is going to free us so weve been freeing ourselves since last xmas. We work together and have developed our speed and knowledge. We know what were up against yet are going to get the fuck out of this matrix.In an ideal world there could be a group of us that meet regularly to free ourselves& liberate the world as much as we can. What do you think?

          2. i love the idea of people meeting. since most of us seem to be scattered throughout the planet – at least those commenting – i am thinking of an e-mail group – although it does seem most of us are rethinking the whole free others concept. but i do believe you would have some very useful ideas as i am already intrigued when you say you’ve been freeing yourselves and have developed speed and knowledge.

      2. How fascinating that you mention about star names! I am a starseed too…and I remember my home world. And I remember my name…Ladosa Jenavi. For many years, when I was first on the internet, I only went by my Lady Jenavi moniker. I still strongly identify as her, and my blog reflects this. I know I channel her a lot…I consider her my Higher Self actually. She is who I was when I ceased being an angel and took on Free Will. I do think it is worthwhile to meditate on who you were on your home world…Billy is right in his reply to you that names have power. It will open doors for you to access that Higher Self aspect. 🙂

  9. Hi Victoria, just want to thank you for your refreshing statement.

    I can totally relate to your words and your general fatigue.
    Maybe it’s because i’ m a tad older (51) or life was easier on me being caucasian, male and ( german) middleclass i gave up on “spreading the message” a while ago a bit easier.
    That being said this year it was given to me that our presence alone on this planet is of such a big importance that we shouldn’t worry : we did great!
    We are everywhere , building a grid that will support this planet in its transition.

    Cheers to my sisters and brothers !

    1. thank you Ulf. i love your positive insight. earlier this evening i read (again) that just being here and being ME is enough to ascend and create this new reality. i’m 50 although many would accuse me (rightly so) at times of being stuck in my teenage years due to my natural rebellious side. letting go of the drama/need to control has been my biggest struggle but letting it go, i am doing. clumsily but with gratitude. this post i wrote and the responses i am receiving is so heartwarming and humbling and makes me feel far less lonely. happy to connect with like-minded warriors. peace. 🙂

  10. Faith, as small as a mustard seed, can move a mountain(bring about changes needed for ascension). Keep this as your intention in all that you do, while meditating on the result, not the path, and the result will find its way. Still your mind and let your heart lead the way. Do as you are compelled, in service, with love and compassion. So long as it harms no one, consider your part complete.

  11. How heartily I agree with you my darling… I echo your words in my heart and soul. I WANT IT NOW! I’m tired, weary, fed up with all the bullshit and entirely done with people who do not want to drag their carcasses up the Ascension Stairway, but want others to do it for them. Not on my watch, honey!

    I am Sovereign. I am Queen. I am done with people purporting to be Goddesses and the like, whilst still hoovering around the ankles of the Male Hierarchy in their lives. I could go on and on… but suffice to say, THANK YOU for telling it like it is – for SO many of us.

    Now let us join our hearts in starlight and get this Firework Display on the Road!

    Jay from the UK xxx

    1. sign me up – i’m ready! and i hear you on this false goddess/female energy. actually i believe feminism here in the states did NOTHING for women. all it was was a bunch of patriachal energies saying “here’s an open door for you goddesses. you can come in and stay but you ain’t changing anything.” all we did was walk through the door. the same system is in place. and interesting you should mention the firework display – because i recently read (i can’t remember where) that once disclosure has happened – the event – there will be fireworks in the sky showing our freedom. the restlessness we all feel is universal – we’re not the same but we are all One and those of us here to participate are feeling this energy of LETS DO IT.

  12. Hello Victoria … I do not have the abilities that you and others posting here possess but , I do feel weary of this world we live in just as you do . I do feel things around me like negative energy , my father with me after he passed and a feeling that something is gonna happen but never knowing what ! These things happen but not that often so I cannot term it as an ability. But I really do connect with you and the other people who posted on everything that was described in some way . I’m 60 yrs old blue collar worker no education and just needed to tell you that “I FEEL UR PAIN “

    1. i believe we all have pretty much the same abilities – we’re just not encouraged to develop them. it’s like a muscle that hasn’t been used. the more you use it – the more it will show up. t/y for stopping by. we’re all in this together.

      1. Hi Victoria thanks for your reply. When we work together we first connect to source. Jeannette uses her heart and connects to information. I am visual and report what I see, along with actively doing the work ie I remove negative beings/entities,do past life work, get soul parts etc and remove curses (as well as things similar to curses) holding us down. The important thing is to come from a place of love so that source/life energy moves through you. I use the loving kindness meditation to achieve that love feeling & I was shown how to create deep source connections by an indigenous tribal shaman in Borneo. I don’t connect or work with other beings. I can see them too well along with having some try to trick me before. We both have jobs so we can’t spend so much time on this project. I have trained people up who are engineers business people etc who have warrior ability. Jeannette has taught her relatives and others who have better information getting ability than us warriors. (although we get some info) we believe it is important for safety and accuracy to work in pairs. My understanding is that these gifts are something we have innately and need very little training for.

        1. Also I would love to be part of any group. We are willing to train anyone who wants to come and work with us. I would love to set up a Fri group where we could find a time that suited our time differences and work together both to free ourselves from this matrix and remove strangleholds the PTBA have on this world. I believe that together we would be stronger and faster.

          1. jackie~ i am intrigued. how would such a group be set up to meet/connect? something like skype? (if so i need to get my computer guy out here – i tried d/l and installing it and my operating system didn’t seem to like it – i’m on linux/ubuntu)

  13. I feel at home on this planet, I have a good relation with mother earth and also always good relations with good will people.Bad will people attacks me and other lightworkers daily and often, and tries to interfere in my relations,too but they do not appear openly, they do covertly,some ways are well known,others not.If not for their intereference we would have manifested paradise on earth many years ago.The planet is very very ready and most people,too.Your inner tiredness is not teen age rebellion it is just your sensing something is wrong…we are there…so,disinfo,attacks and spraying chems and other heavy stuff try to delay divine manifestation in as many ways as it is possible .We are tired as all of this is not in our will nor in divine one.We need to manifest our will and stop listening lies.Stop waiting green lights from outside world.Do what we feel and know to be good .Look inside is a good way,then is necessary to act.Our children are worth of better times as all of us are ,the nightmare creation going around must be stopped and it is up to us do it.We are tired so we need an extra effort.To go inside,to create outside.Time to act.

    1. your words are beautiful nadia. i wish i were as optimistic as you are about most people being ready for paradise. most people i know support more of the same – although when i talk with them and question them more they will agree we can have paradise – but it is their hope and belief it is possible that is lacking. that’s why i’m tired of reaching out. and it’s also why i call out for help from other dimensional star being’s – of which i resonate with. how can we overcome an “enemy” when we don’t know exactly what/who it is – and it has technological advantages we aren’t even aware of. it’s like creating something new with blinders on. we need help from this “in the know”. if i am wrong, i am willing to be shown that though. t/y for reading and commenting.

      1. we say help yourself that god will help you,and also it is said that what we want manifests.Help is much much needed,as well as commitment . They are not separated and never were.You can see it with your children,you help them walking,but they make their effort,too..If our will is one with god-dess oneness it will manifest no matter what ignorance puts in..Blind people can look better than others if they open other senses…. we know It is not done untill our skies are not clear as our minds.So this is what we want clear skies clear minds clear lives.If somebody tells you to WAIT another week another month another year or another century AND YOU SAY YES YOU CONSENT THIS NOT TO HAPPEN NOW . If you sleep trusting it will be done and wait doing anything else,it is the same…So let’ us stop this kind of consensus and just say as you made no!!! we want it now,not in scie fiction stories or in “parallel realities” as much of the so called ” reports” looks like, but in our daily lives. Wanting it thinking it manifesting it…Frustration should be kept on the real causes of troubles on Earth and not on whom is not acting to help us.When we have been asked if we wanted support from benevolent et many people,expecially from usa, said no, we are the ones we are expecting for ..well..this was a trap,pride and disinfo at work,as it showed later.Good help is always welcome and the right way to ask for help is please and thank you.As in daily lives, as with any other situation,as you probably ask to your children to ask for help ,then, if nobody helps we do it!Common sense.So if somebody say we cannot ascend,we meditate on the planet ascending.We focus on what WE want,not others.With a little preparation in education to respect everybody could do it.Respect.The basic lesson!! We should have passed last years learning it and not fighting with stupid assaults and we would be all in paradise now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Divine mercy is there, ready to clean the karma of the past but honesty is needed,and change .So,for example, somebody please tell the pope that helping refugees makes good karma,but avoiding wars and stopping them once and for ever makes a great better one!!! So,for us,informing ourselves is right but creating our lives from the point of what we know inside it is right is better!!

  14. I’m so happy to have found this article. I’ve been feeling quite alone in how I view this world and what I have been going through. I have never really labeled myself as a Starseed or anything else like that. I’m 47 year old man who is incredibly drawn to the spiritual life and have been since my childhood. At 13 I found the book Messages from Michael. After that, there was no turning back. That book was the trigger for my spiritual revolution. This overwhelming drive pushed me into every form of the strange, paranormal and spiritual that I could find. I realized I was not a part of the norm after looking for someone to share all this exciting information with and was only ever ridiculed and ignored. Didn’t really help that I chose to be a part of a dysfunctional family in the middle of Red-Neck Alberta where the tolerance level for anything not having to do with farming or oil-field work is non-existent. So, I kept a very low profile.

    Over the past 6 years however, it feels as though a switch has been turned on to move forward with my life while keeping my unusual interests right along side of me. A fearlessness seemed to force its way to the surface, in me. I had developed a true “Lack of Concern” as a way of dealing with the nonbelievers. Yes, it is frustrating. It has pushed me to the edge of my abilities to tolerate. I have even considered suicide as an option to make this all go away. I am past that now, but it was not easy to get through all of that.

    I have, also, swore at the sky. Screamed threats to the unseen forces that I can feel are there, but have no way of proving. I have told off the voices in my head, yet they keep coming back with love and encouragement. I was told I had agreed to come here. I agreed to serve Gaia in an effort for her to save as many of her children as possible, not matter what the cost. No matter how long it took. This only made me swear more. “Who the hell do they think they are? They have no bloody idea what I am going thru and yet they can sit in their high glorious places and tell me what to do? KISS MY ASS!!!” I get the impression that most of us have been at this point of frustration. And, that is why I am so happy to have found this article. I am not alone. I have all of you and that is what I needed so I could get through this last bit. Having a ‘feeling’ of knowing something is one thing. Having tangible confirmation is beautiful. It gave me a feeling of connectedness that I have not known before. I feel the tears welling up as I write. You are all beautiful souls and I truly admire you all for answering the call.

    This experience has been hard, but I choose to believe that I, as a soul, am so much more because of experiencing it. We all are. I sometimes wonder if this really was for them; all the asleep folks. Or was this for us? To push us to that next level of self awareness. Our point of perception is only as wide as we allow ourselves to see. Remove that limitation and know that you are going to be so much more than what you were, before you volunteered to be a part of this. This is our step to that next point of our souls evolution.

    I love you all and look forward to seeing you on the other side.

    1. thank you stu. we grew up in different countries (states here) but during the same generation. spirituality was totally unheard of in my area. the first time i was interested in the metaphysics was when i was around 20. my mom worked with this really interesting/fascinating woman who i could only describe as a gypsy. the first time i met her was when i drove my mom to work. she had this energy to her that made me feel alive. no other human had made me feel that way. i was locked away in upper class american suburbs, public schools – and bored out of my mind only i didn’t know why. i didn’t know what i was searching for. anyway later that night my mom told me what she said about me. “she said you had the biggest aura she had seen on another person and you are meant to do great things.” now my mom wasn’t into any of this stuff so when i questioned her for me she only shrugged and didn’t want to talk about it further. so i tucked it away – but never forget those words. i now believe life was calling me in that direction but i didn’t heed the call. i instead opted to get a useless degree and marry an equally useless man. life never gives up on us though as you know. i’d be curious to know what you think is going on right now – actually i would like to hear everyone’s thoughts on this. this ascension stuff. i have a few ideas – one being there is a new earth – higher vibrational earth – that is already “there” in that dimension – and we are creating it w/our thoughts as we expand and let go of living in this reality. letting go of politics, news, all things 3D. i know i have been bored with what the system provides us decades ago and have pretty much faked it for most of my life – that boredom never having left. it’s like i am looking for something else to fulfill me. activity. connections. things that feed my soul. i get that here and there w/nature of course and my child and mate – but it isn’t enough. i even long for different food. anyway….i believe we did choose to be here – even though paradoxically i also believe the archons or whatever race altered our DNA (shutting off select codons) and such has enslaved us for thousands of years – so what really is freedom when your choices have been limited. i did have a past life recall under regression and went back to my birth. the feeling i had was “ok this is the last time let’s do it” – like psyching myself up. i knew i didn’t know my mother – but i did my father and needed his blood type (rh negative) – and i knew i would feel lonely but i knew i had a mission to fulfill/complete. end a cycle. and here i am. so nice to meet you. 🙂

      1. I’ve been questioning why and when I came into this world when I did. I’ve never tried regression therapy since I’m a bit skeptical, and I’m even less willing to pay when I feel skeptical. But I came along deep in the night, 2 lbs 10 oz, 2-3 months ahead of a proper birth term. I love my family (I’m adopted) and I’ve learned a lot of lessons, but I’ve never been able to get an answer as to why I chose the moment I did.
        Also if I focus on it for a moment, I feel positive energy surrounding the fact that those commenting here, at least evidenced so far, have been brought together in a sense. My own Power is boundless, I just can’t access it. So if all these like minds were finally “united”, what we could actually accomplish together Restored in our power…maaaaaan. That’s what I want. To see what I can do, what You can do, and most of all what We can all do together. To have infinity to explore the infinite, and all the beauty we can create along the way.

  15. Victoria, it’s like I wrote this article myself. No you are definitely not alone, and apparently I am not either! I’m very relieved to find out there are others like me. It makes our heavy day to day challenges a little more easier to bear. I have much gratitude for your article thank you very, very much.

  16. Ohmigod…I could have written this! It is on point with everything I am thinking and feeling too! Bless you for writing this and putting yourself out there like this…it is validation for us all! I am glad I found this, for I have been feeling somewhat ashamed that I don’t care any more about everyone else’s ascension…I just don’t want to be carrying everyone else anymore! It makes me feel bad, because it’s not very loving. sigh. I am an empath, so I have come to realize that I am transmuting a lot of other people’s negativity too. Hoo boy, am I tired! bleah I want to see this whole Ascension thing manifest now too…it is way past time IMO. I will send you love and light that you will find more energy to keep on keeping on, and I will join you in working towards manifesting this now! I am with you! 🙂

    1. shall i call you ladosa? 🙂 thank you for reading and commenting. i struggle with the guilt too of feeling the whole “screw this i don’t care i am done”. i want to care – and i do – but when i use the word “weary” i really am. and in that condition i am not much help to others. 3d life has been tough. when others say god doesn’t give you more than you can handle, i want to scream. anyway – yes – i think it is time – i feel it – for those of us who are like-minded to focus on the reality that we want. NOW. i am thinking of an e-mail group and am open to thoughts on that.

      1. Hi Victoria we could do a group Skype too. All of us that have the ability to make a difference have been interfered with, manipulated, cursed and drained of our energy. Attack has always been the best defence. That’s why me and Jeannette came together too, so that we could just live and be able to choose a life that suited us. Sometimes I free myself from manipulations/beings. My energy levels, hope and enthusiasm bubble up like a sudden hot spring…. only to be crushed. Although my life has dramatically improved, I’m not free yet but i’ve learnt a lot and will get there eventually.

  17. Dearest Victoria… thank you for writing this. As I read your words, relief poured out of me because I could have written them, each and every word, exactly as you did. I identify as a Starseed, I’m well acquainted with my past earth lives and my home planet, and the first time I read the word Starseed and what it meant, all the puzzle pieces fell into place. I’m a bit older than most posting here, 63 earth years to be exact, and while I sometime get tired, mostly I’m energized because I took a different path once I realized PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO WAKE UP and that was not my mission. So I said to my star self, “Well, forget them and just be the change,” just like Gandhi told us. So I left my matrix life and moved to a place (Montana) where I could be free to serve Gaia and her creatures and plants. I became a shaman, took the name of my totem, and I work with earth energies now. (STO can mean serving anything other than the matrix.) Consequently, because I made a bond and a promise with Gaia, I am no longer frustrated and tired and PISSED OFF, thus I can actually make a difference, albeit a small one, that keeps me sane and going forward. Once you tap into the earth/sun energies in full, you never get tired, and there are many etheric ways to assist Gaia in repairing what has been done to her. I’m convinced that connecting to the aeon Gaia Sophia is the ticket out of the matrix. I experience fifth dimensional reality/consciousness daily now, and even though 3D requirements call me back from time to time, I am able to manifest everything I need and exist in 5D most of the time. It can be done, it’s the door you’re looking for.

    My deepest love and gratitude to you and all who wrote here and are feeling tired. Don’t be patient, do what you came here to do now.

    1. raven~ i would love to talk with you more. i have been intuitively searching for a shaman all year – i found one i thought felt “right” and contacted her several times and didn’t hear back so i let it go. you said the magic word – “montana” – that place/word began coming to me almost 20 years ago – 19 as of this november to be exact – and it means something to me. so when i get my montana universal references, a little spark goes off within me and i follow the lead. i appreciate your STO thought too – serving anything outside of the matrix. there is this duality that turns me off that i read in the new age and ascension communities – that we must be service to others. period. not service to self. i find that bothersome and it doesn’t resonate w/me. serving others doesn’t mean we forget about ourselves. to truly be alignment with service means we begin with US. we must serve ourselves first if we are to authentically be of service to others. your simple definition – i love it.

          1. That’s not my “area of expertise” so to speak, but I might suggest that you contact Sandra Ingerman. I believe she does this type of work with individuals. If working with her doesn’t work out for whatever reason, she has written a book called Soul Retrieval that would help you greatly to affect this healing for yourself.

            I wish you the best outcome with whatever path you take.

          2. Everyone has spirit attachments and past-life trauma. Its one of the methods of how were controlled. Connect to earth/sun in your heart and ask the being in the centre of the Galaxy to vacuum them away. You can make little energy balls too and place them in them to send them up. Past lives can be easily accessed by intent and you can actually pull a string of them up, on a related theme, at the same time. Access them using the same techniques of accessing memories. We have billions of past lives as we split off into aspects to experience strong assumptions we’ve made in their fullest.

          3. thank you for this info jackie. i have been almost obsessive about being w/the sun and earth whenever i can. grounding. tuning into the sun to raise my energy vibe. something is speaking to me – my higher self/selves – helping my human self in reconnecting again. also want to study alchemy.

      1. Victoria you can be your own Shaman. You can do everything that they can do, in fact I think all of us genuinely gifted people are shamans, or possess shamanic abilities. I believe in putting power back in our own hands. The whole structure of society, religion, education, healing, medicine, new age is listen to someone else some knowledgeable person, channelled being AUTHORITY and do as were advised (TOLD). All we need is our connection to source, intuition and one off guidance that empowers us.

        1. thank you for saying that as well. i needed that validation. my inner voice at times has said i need no outside help – all i need i can find within. we’ve had almost countless incarnations so the wisdom is already there. <3

    2. Greetings Raven. We are walking a similar path. I too have seen 63 cycles. I am wood mouse and I too have found home here on our beloved gaia. It’s been an incredible challenge. I too have seen many of my past
      adventures here on earth and have been back to my home planet on a few occasions. The matrix that so many people mention is a construct. It’s not a true natural organic form and therefore can be left. Gaia and us form the true organic matrix. We are millions and we are dotted all across the globe and we are right where we need to be. We are here to be love and from that love we naturally heal, uplift and teach but not is not our goal but simply a natural expression of being love. The shift is happening. There is no doubt about that and yes, it can be painful at times when family and loved ones adhere strongly to the non-organic matrix.
      I know I am going back to my home after this life and my people but I also know this is what I do. I travel through the creations taking on what ever is the local form (body) and absorb and love and expand. I am a weaver. I am wood mouse. Take heart people. This one has been a tough one. We are almost there.
      And, yes, there is going to be a big party, after.
      Shine on brothers and sisters.
      Thanks Victoria for starting such an exciting thread.

      1. Greetings wood mouse. Such a pleasure to hear from you, and I agree with your words. Let’s get this party on the road!

  18. OMG!! I need awakened humans in my life!!! I am so not a patient person at all, so this is all driving me mad too!! I can’t tolerate being around people for too long as I can’t stand their bad energy and drama filled BS lives, it’s exhausting so I tend to enjoy my own company more along with my 2 boys, understand you Victoria also on kids take up a lot of your time and energy, my little one is full of beans, I absolutely LOVE it but does get tiring!! I’m a probably a newbie to all this compared to you guys, I was awakened 2 years ago although I have also always felt like I am not from here. I’ve been meditating few weeks now, still in hope of connecting to my higher self, I am constantly looking for spiritual books to read, I am reading a new earth by Eckhart tolle at the moment.
    Being in the UK we don’t seem to have spiritual seminars or well known people that I can find they seem to be located in the states, everything seems to be out of my reach, so may have more healing to do which seems never ending in this BS and maybe some blocks but have nobody to turn to for advice or help, it’s literally a LONE journey and self education!! They say it’s hard if you think it’s hard but really it’s not made easy is it either with this BS we have supposedly chosen!! Tell you one thing I am a complete idiot for choosing this!!

    1. i’ve been at this for 20 years, off and on, and i’m still not sure what/who my higher self is much less if i have connected w/”her”. 🙂 i do best when i am gentle with myself. and yes – the little ones pull you right back to 3D – although mine has taught me to remember to be in the Now.

  19. But in REALITY nobody has moved or come. Nobody has a need to return then. And even though the memories of THAT (leaving our otherworldly home) do haunt us, we still–i believe–can focus on that which is deeper, larger, eternal–in us and in all of life–be we here on Earth or ‘at home’. THAT will not change. THAT is eternal. THAT is what we really are–always (and all ways)… — Is this not so?
    Can we continue to do THAT work, even if while we are here on Earth? Can we re-join, re-open THAT ‘inquiry into Life’? For even in paradise of our home worlds such studies (and activities, practices) are highly valued.–Is this not so?
    If it is (and i believe it is), then, yes, we ‘wait’ for ‘liberation’ (of ‘us’ or ‘all’)…, we facilitate it, we participate in it (in our distinct roles)… … And may we also practice the truth of our ‘real’ selves, the truth of our higher selves–and still higher! So that we will continue to be fed by those realities, those encounters with our Truth and Origin, that –in most cases– far supersede lives on other planets even if they [usually] are in the higher densities of Light/Consciousness). – Nobody ‘bans’ that, because only a few (usually) practice these levels here, exercise them or our Truth/Reality… Also, because no ‘body’ can ‘ban’ those levels of us (IN US), me thinks.:) – Right?:)

    And if so, then this (practice) may not only help us to ‘survive’ this process of ‘liberation’ but also help us grow, progress in re-membering who we REALLY are (beyond ‘faces’ and ‘dimensions’, beyond ‘the Lovely Game’), which might serve all of us well (serve ALL well)–even upon our return (if chosen) to our home worlds…

    1. wow – i had to read your words a few times mikhail. if i feel your words out, it seems you are saying any experience we have is all more or less an illusion (which i define as saying not all there really is) – because the only REAL experience is Source and our connection as One With. that’s what we’re all ultimately after – remembering who we are as source.

  20. Where do I start?
    I read your article on in5d. I was SO moved, that I had to click on the link that would bring me to your site. And here, I have been reading that others feel and think as I do too.
    I experience and experienced most all that you’ve stated, Victoria. My years of a constant knowing that I don’t belong here, plus the deep desire to know and live from Truth, and my soul purpose in an important Love paradigm, have caused me to develop into a remembrance of who I am, more so than I could have ever fathomed. I’ve dug and delved deep into feelings and the heart’s call, and have unlocked a large behemoth of a door, where the Universe/my Oversoul told me that I qualified to step thru and where I saw many other doors behind it that swung open gently, easily, and let me feel/know that through those doors was where I am now ready to proceed through, and there, I will have more answers, assistance and new paths opening up that will nourish me on the path that I chose before I came to earth. I know now what the major purpose is that I am to accomplish here. It came to me because I came to a point where the accumulation of knowledge and pain of knowing what attrocities and injustices that humankind goes through on this planet was at the breaking point for me. I forcefully told the Universe, “STOP!” And I turned my focus on what I passionately wanted. That’s when the Universe moved mountains for me. That’s when, in my mind’s eye, I saw the ancient, massive, worn, thick wooden door, that at first glance would seem impossible to open, but easily swung open for my Sovereign Will, when I was united in a passionate focus of strong intent.

    From that day (January 19 of this year), assistance has been coming to me. The first month after that major earthquake and tsunami, I was having aftershocks. Powerful and peaceful at the same time. And all of it pointing to what I am to accomplish. Truth coming to my mind, and a passion burned in me so strongly that I knew that I will do as my Soul knew was my path. The fire within me was so strong that I had to write down what I was thinking/remembering/feeling, because I knew that I was to do something major with it all. Two books, is where I will start to lay it all out…

    All of this year, I have thought of not much else. But 3d kept poking into my consciousness. My parents lives, I’ve had to deal with in some consuming ways, til their passings on August 24 and September 1st, were major time and energy crashers. We had their double funerals right after. and my major demon has been rearing its ugly head so powerfully, that I’ve had some dark nights of the soul to help me know that I need to go through them and not around them anymore. Family dynamics, a daughter’s wedding, other dramas have taken a toll on me this year. So my books have been s-l-o-w-l-y worked on. And I know that the time is now to bring it to light. I’m actually in a kind of a funk, because of the dynamics of the 3d-ers in my life. I want to move my books to get written and published and out there, and I’ve been intending to have others collaborate with me, who have their own expertise to bring to the table in regards to bringing about the paradigm shift that I know that will happen because of these books (I’m not bragging; I just know what I’m to be a part of). As of now, I am the only one who is physically working on this project, so, at times, it feels daunting when I don’t know much about getting books published (and I don’t have all of the info on my subject, as I feel that someone else has more of the puzzle pieces).

    So, with your and many commenters frustrations about “enough is enough!” and “we are tired and done”, I felt the pull again that I’m to be getting my rear in gear (and I almost went to a place of guilt and shame, which I won’t go to, because I’ve languished on this project), and I feel motivated again to make sure that my purpose takes off again, and that I trust the Universe and let it soar. Because it will. It’s time, and we are ready. I challenge each of you to gather your courage, and your Sovereign Will to intend the best, the highest transformation that we are ready for. Because I’ve seen and know what we once had, and what we can have, now, and it is a ‘blanket of Charity’ that we’ve forgotten about, that will allow us the freedom to experience and choose from a place of peace.

    Thank you, Thank you, Victoria, and then everyone else who has commented here. You’ve woken the giant in me, and I feel encouraged and empowered to continue in what I am here to do.

    1. irene ~ thank you for sharing your thoughts. i am sorry about your parents. many seem to be losing loved ones. i lost one of my only real friends in august and a very dear person to me was diagnosed with brain cancer just a couple of days before i found out about my girlfriend’s death. my mate also lost his sister and dad 6 months apart last year. hard hits to take for sure. your books sound very intriguing. i would like to hear more about them if you are open to it. i have a book on amazon for kindle because like you, i didn’t know of anyone to publish them much less how to do it myself. anyway….i think you touched on something powerful that we all can learn from – certainly i can – that certainty you felt when you told the universe STOP. there’s a real solid truth in that – once we make up our minds and essentially as you do tell the universe/life to STOP – then focus on what WE WANT – magic happens. i still struggle with that – focusing on what i don’t want instead of focusing on what i WANT. thank you for that reminder. blessings and love to you.

  21. I have so much that I could comment on from your article, Victoria, and from others’ comments. One thing that is at the forefront of my consciousness right now: The concept of ‘patience’.

    This March, I was digging through storage room boxes, to clean out the room, when I happened on a pic of ex and I during our wedding. I then had a conversation with my Soul/Universe, and said, ‘Why? What was the purpose? Wasted years! Why wasn’t I loved? , etc.” S/U then gave me a discourse in all of about 1 second: Patience is not a necessary trait. It is something that was made up by others that is a lie about who you are. You have the right to have all that you want, when you want it. What do you choose? -And I also saw, as the discourse was given, the situations that I’ve chosen in regards to that marriage, where I thought that I needed to be patient, loving, generous, but was instead shown that I was following man-made ideas, which were not for my and others’ highest good.

    So now, I don’t look at patience as a virtue. I’m exploring all of the ramifications of this concept, and I will understand it completely. Btw, I’m not talking about asserting my will above others, wanting to have it my way, now! like a child having a temper tantrum, but in a balanced, pure love way of being.

    1. i’m right there with you on the patience thing, irene. i feel it is just more matrix-speak. be patient – it feels repressive. and like you it isn’t about throwing a fit – but then again maybe those little children are onto something. our truth is – that energy vibe where we all originate – everything we desire manifests instantaneously so naturally it is difficult to be told “be patient”. it isn’t about will assertion – as you said – but i think it is more about KNOWING the truth of who we really are and as such, wanting/desiring/needing to express that fully. NOW.

    2. i hope everyone can read my comments. i am so overwhelmed by every one of your comments – the validation is so needed. i wish we were all in the same room together so i could hug each and every one of you. it seems as though i have touched into a universal consciousness among those of us who are on that remembering/awakening journey. since writing the piece, i am starting to rethink what i thought was my purpose – to awaken others as i myself awaken. and yet – is that bringing me joy? HELL NO. who enjoys being ridiculed and dismissed and called crazy? of course i can tell myself “well girl, consider the source” – but is this joyful? no. so as one of you eloquently said – be the change you wish to see. and that is enough. will respond more individually later. have a child to get to bed. blessings you beautiful souls. 🙂 you have touched me as much as my words have touched you!

  22. All I can say is OH MY GOD. Just read your article, but on Wednesday, Oct 5th I was walking outside to get some air, and started venting at God, the Galactics, Masters, my Guides, anyone who would listen. I said almost the same thing, if you people don’t want to awaken, screw it you can stay behind ’cause I’m tired of being ostracized, laughed at, and people running from the scary, spooky, strange one. LOL, those are descriptions people use to describe me. I see Galactics almost Everyday in my area with their fly by’s, my Guides have told me their names, Angels have scooped down to protect me, past lives remembered, and me having conversations with people who look like solid matter and everyone starring at me like the joke of the century because they can’t see them. I’m a lone rider and only have my two sons and three brothers who believe me, somewhat. Even they have no idea of the depth of my experiences when I attempt to enlighten them about another part of my I Am. (theirs too). My Dad who completely got it, left his body sixteen years ago. Boy do I miss him. Just today he was in my space, with his awesome body scent to lift me up out of my funk.

    But, I say hooray, you are so right, we ones should just stop attempting to awaken the masses, and let our behaviors speak for us. Then will they realize there is something to this thing called life outside of the illusion. Thank you for venting for ALL of us. We feel you. We support you. We love you. My heart is filled with joy, that you too, like so many of us are just damm tired after thousands of years of trickery, manipulation and being misunderstood, but still in it for the long haul. My blessings.

    1. i need to make t-shirts that say things like “people call you strange? COME SIT BY ME and we can be strange together.” i think perhaps we are, collectively, starting to pull our energies back from awakening the masses and are instead focusing on just being US – AND as i am wanting to do, connecting w/others who are like-minded. i have no energy or emotional/mental space to be around those who aren’t of like mind/heart/spirit. it’s almost like a repulsion – an energetic repulsion. not trying to be cruel – just knowing i want to be in the same vibe with others. i’m thinking of starting an e-mail support group. anyone down with that? c

      1. T-shirts would be a fun connective way to be ‘us’. I do like that, and what your suggestion is for the wording.
        I, like you, don’t have the energy or desire to be around those who resonate differently than a high vibration. And I am repulsed by their energy and ways. I live at ex’s now and will be til my books are published. I don’t have the financial resources at this time, and he’s willing to help me along, even tho I’m repulsed by his energy. I’m at the house all day, while he leaves the house to work, so I’m able to be in my energy most of the day, which doesn’t drag me down too much. A compromise for now.
        An email support group, maybe… I’d like to hear more of your idea as it unfolds. Maybe the calling card for each member would be to post their personal story or thoughts that would help others to realize that they’re of the same mind/heart, so that those who have only the best good for all involved will be invited in. And maybe, weed out those who are not for the best, so as everyone could feel ‘safe’ to express and explore their selves and each other.
        Another note: I’ve been working on ‘me’ so much of the time, that the Universe is saying that it’s time for me to help the masses. To use the knowledge and skills that it’s taught me, and helped me to remember, for the planet to rise to a higher state. I’m just tired of doing it alone. But, I will not quit. It consumes me daily. I know that it’s where I am to be. But I need others of like minds/hearts to connect with, who will be as driven as me to bring this new paradigm shift about.

        1. i hear you on the financial resources end – how that keeps some of us stuck/trapped in situations we would rather not be in. one of my desires is to have wealth that i just give away to people who are in such a situation – in particular women. it is a blight on the system that anyone who wishes to be free $$ sometimes is unable to due to money.

          as far as the e-mail group idea – i just had the thought earlier this week – as a place for connection really. no rules other than the golden rule – be kind and respectful and treat others the way you would want to be treated. so yes – must feel safe to be YOU and following that basic rule i feel would cover it.

          1. I am not for rules. I’m not. With that said, I have also seen on open-minded, ‘loving’ forums with the best intentions, that there were not groundworks laid out at the beginning, and then trolls and other 3d activities began infiltrating the topics. As time went on, people would state how the site was not the same as it was originally intended, with kindness, and inclusiveness. And from there, people were commenting how they couldn’t stay anymore. That the trolls and other lower ways that came into play were what was making them not feel safe anymore, and they wanted to leave. Just like how we feel now, out in this 3d mess of a world. I’m not saying, ‘Make rules!’, but I am saying that there might be some good reasons to, or to just think/feel if there’s some way to approach the email support group, where there would be common understanding about being kind/not stepping on toes 🙂

          2. i am with you on the rules part. i like keeping things simple as in treat others the way you would want to be treated. be kind. be respectful. be accepting. and keep the conversation private (meaning don’t go sharing private info in other public forums/social media outlets and the like). given this would be e-mail i don’t see how trolls would get in as it would be private. perhaps i am naive though. 🙂

  23. Wow! Thank you so much for this. I have been feeling like this for awhile now. Like you, I have had many human incarnations for a long time and I have declared today, that I am done. I am so done on this plane! I love Gaia fully and utterly, but I just dont have the patience anymore for the blatant ignorance. The control system is coming down and its so obvious – I plant little seeds in peoples consciousness’ because I know, I cant make anyone wake up – but even the seeds are met with resistance or laziness. “I dont want to know!” or “I’m more interested in Housewives.” I just cant do it anymore.

    But thank you so much for your article. I thought I was the only one feeling like this and was feeling alone in my weariness. Thank you sister! <3

  24. Good for you Victoria.
    How you are feeling is exactly how one should feel, realizing that we are not Home.
    This hellhole is just another dimension trap, amusement, experience or whatever we “think” this is all about. In our Hearts, our Spiritual Hearts is the Portal Home. “We” are here because we think/believe we are here for some great reason to save others, someone, the planet, universe or be a part of something wonderful that is about to happen here on earth. When one has had enough of this dream illusion and feels like you have described, we eventually let it all go mentally and realize it is all a projection of the dreaming mind/ego. We discover that not only right within us is the answer but that WE are that something within us(not the mind/ego). We let go and realize not with the mind/ego but with the Heart who we are. Our True Nature, who we’ve always been all along, even during the worst of times, has been waiting for that portion of us that ventured out into duality dream illusion to return Home, through our very own Hearts.

  25. Hello Victoria, I read your article yesterday and it resonated with me 100 percent. I try to be positive, sending love and light to all life all over creation, but at times I feel so discouraged I just want to go “home”. I want to help others but it’s hard when you are having a hard time trying to keep your own spirits up. Reading your article and people’s posts following it, I feel connected with all because I feel the same. I wish I could meet someone where I live who is “awakened”, I have prayed for that for several years, so when I read your article, I felt compelled to respond. I normally don’t “write” but it is wonderful to see I am not alone. I knew in my heart there are others out there who are tired, yet still want to help, but can’t we experience the positive changes, better life right here, right now instead of next year, or a few months or whenever? For the last few years, in my head I would hear “I want to go home”. I still do. I know I am not from here, always observing others, doing my own thing, not conforming to “society’s rules and expectations”. As a child, I enjoyed being around adults more than kids my own age. I did not care to play with others, I kept to myself. Always quiet, never made a mess, doing my own thing. I have always been this way. I am also social when I am out and about, but I do love my privacy and quiet time for myself. I feel as if I am rambling, but for once, I am not thinking but rather feeling as I “write”.

    I just wanted to say thank you Victoria for your article. In doing so, you have reached out and touched many lives. The idea for an email support group sounds wonderful.

    Love and light to all.

    1. i wonder what this “i want to go home” is really about for each of us. it seems to be a universal feeling among us. i began hearing it/feeling it several years ago as well.

  26. I’m definitely up for the email support group!! I feel everybody should have some kind of support and as a newbie I have lost count of the times I want to give up so I feel for all you guys going as long as you all have. Much admiration and respect to you all!!

  27. It’s been wonderful hearing everyone’s stories here. Victoria, you’ve obviously struck a nerve, one that needs to be struck for all starseeds who are struggling at this critical time. Everyone here is a starseed. Don’t get hung up on that label. It means “different,” not necessarily “better” in any way. Starseed actually means a warrior for love and truth, both of which are so lacking on earth at this time and why we are here now. Never doubt that you chose this, even if you don’t remember choosing it.

    A common thread among most of us writing here seems to be “tired of being shunned” and a feeling of being very alone on a very strange planet. That is what we signed on for because we are warriors, and “being alone” is not only difficult, it’s necessary for our mission. We all seem to have a small group of people (or animals) who love us and understand us, but for the most part the energies of the general population have become very difficult for us to navigate. We feel we make people uncomfortable, we are often shunned and it hurts because inside we know we are loving, giving people. But this isn’t about “us,” it’s a vibrational mismatch, meaning we are vibrating at a different resonance from the general population and we appear somewhat “ghost-like” to others, scary maybe, and certainly different because we certainly are. We exude “different” in subtle ways, we can’t help it. Embrace that difference! It’s time to shine through a very dark period of human history. We don’t need to “do” anything but be loving selves and give whatever energy we have to the earth and anyone or anything who can accept it. Gaia adores us. It almost sounds religious in a way, and I suppose it is a type of paganism (another label given a nasty connotation on purpose so we don’t make this connection) but connecting with the earth in a very real way is how we maintain, prosper, and achieve our spiritual mission at this time. She is solid, she is real, she supports us in all ways. Grounding, centering and maintaining your etheric connection is critical to be successful in this mission. When all hell breaks loose, and it will, we will weather the storm because we maintain this connection. We are all spread out for a reason, the “aloneness” is intentional, we are a grid of protection. The flip-side is that it allows us the freedom to be who we are, it’s liberating if you can grasp that idea and make it yours. If you remain attached to 3D you cannot raise the consciousness of 5D. The unique qualities of 3D are “time” and “space,” which do not exist in 5D, and the internet has given us all a place to connect outside both of those parameters so we are not really alone etherically. It is teaching us telepathy.

    More than anything else, stop struggling with yourself. Be kind, gentle and loving to yourself in all ways, to your mind, your heart and your body, because it’s obvious to you now that no one else is going to do that for you. Even though we feel alone in time and space, we are all in this together in the Now.

    My deepest gratitude to all of you. You are the brave ones.

    1. awesome words. thank you. i’ve been walking around my neighborhood barefoot and i am loving it. i usually just do it in the yard, but decided what the hey – let’s cover as much ground as i can w/my feet. in one of my past life regression moments, i actually went back to my birth. i knew i came here to do this one last time – and i was to be part of something big. i had this feeling of ‘ok let’s get it right this time – let’s do it’. i also knew i didn’t know my mom (which explains the relationship) but i had picked her nonetheless in order to accomplish what i came here to do. i understand that today. at this point i am more interested in giving earth my love/focus/energy instead of the masses. i am not responsible for them – only for myself. and i have a desire to see others awaken as i am/and have however i am losing my desire – quickly – to assist in awakening them through any sort of effort. withdrawing my energy – reconnecting with myself – and putting out a protective layer for myself to keep the idiots away. i know that is a strong word but it is what i have come to think of the masses at this point – truly a bunch of idiots. on a walk today, i came upon a neighbor for whom i have no resonance with. i have tried to have a relationship w/this woman – she has kids but she (and her spouse for certain) have made it very clear we are not of their level. which is true – we don’t vibe at all. i’m kind and real and she’s fake and judgmental. lol anyway… at first i felt myself shrinking – like i do at times around others – and this time though i said “no – i am not shrinking. i am going to be authentically ME and ME doesn’t even want her to look my way.” i visualized myself putting up a block around my energy field so she wouldn’t connect with me in any way. to my surprise it worked.

      yes – be kind with ourselves. love ourselves as we do our animal friends and children and mates. baby ourselves gently. accept who we are. yes it is lonely and the struggle to fit in is REAL – because we don’t fit in. we were never supposed to. we are here to create something new. although if this “new” doesn’t manifest i am ready to combine resources w/others and build an off-the-grid community. my gratitude to you all.

      1. Yes, the blocks do work and they do come in handy, it’s a useful ability on many levels and even works with spirit attachments.

        I met a woman in Australia, she and I were discussing the very same situation you described with your neighbor, this vibrational mismatch. She suggested that we relate to people as if they were like “pets.” She was very careful to assure me this wasn’t intended in a negative or putdown way, only as an understanding that we all know the attributes and the limitations of our pets in terms of what they can do and cannot do, what they know and understand, and then we humans simply adjust our expectations of their behavior. Employing this same understanding with people, we can enjoy our interactions with them much more. Pets are not deeply intellectual and do not live “in their minds” the way we do. They exist only in the now moment, in the much simpler reality of love and play. So using this deeper understanding you can relate to any human being on their particular level of understanding and not become frustrated or energetically drained. This made a lot of sense to me, it’s really just an attitude adjustment on my part, so I’ve been trying it out. Lo and behold, it seems to work really well!

  28. I feel the same way. It’s starting to get me down. I don’t know why it has to be so hard. I feel like the energy is being sucked out of me. I just want to be around people that make me feel at home. The hate and judgment of the masses makes my soul sad.

  29. This is how I feel. I’ve tried to leave the planet twice but I have a little girl and I can’t do that to her. I feel such fatigue its hard to for me to think I have much time left here. I’m broken down and tired. I wish I could talk to you but I probably never will.

    1. i feel for you. some days i struggle with the same feeling for the same reason as you. i am going to compile a list of e-mails from the comments for an e-mail group and you are welcome to join in.

    2. Zen Dev,
      As much as it may feel like it, you are not alone.
      It certainly can feel like we are alone but that is coming from the mind/ego.
      You, we, are not the mind/ego but because of conditioning and other things, we believe that we are only weak humans. You, we, are incredibly Powerful beings who have been tricked, through the mind.
      Maybe you can look at it like this; when we dream at night and remember the dream as we awaken, it feels like the dream is real and that feeling can last for a moment or a short while. Can you remember dreaming and really believing that the dream is real? The mind dreams. The mind/ego projects this whole universe but you are not the mind. The mind is a most wonderful instrument that can serve who you really are which is found in your Heart, your Spiritual Heart on the right side of your chest. We have been tricked to leave our Hearts and identify ourselves as the thoughts and feelings of the mind/body. Who you are is so incredibly awesome wonderful that the mind simply cannot fathom it. We have been tricked into identifying with the dreaming mind. If you can realize that the mind is projecting everything in your life and try to observe it, your awareness will begin to return to your Heart. We are really the Heart which is too incredibly wonderful for the mind to experience. The answer to all of your problems is not only within you, your Heart but is you.

  30. Thank you for this, Victoria! We can watch all the videos and read all the articles about how negative the world is, but until we get up off our butts and do something to change it, it’ll just still be. I was sick of just sitting around and “being patient” so I joined a local group for the Ubuntu movement up here in Minnesota. We haven’t started a moneyless society yet….🤗….but just meeting with these people has been the greatest gift. Like minds….YAY!!

    I can very much relate to your story. I am indeed a starseed too. After being on the internet all day looking at websites about starseeds and indigos back in 2009, I had a vision during the night in a dream of a star constellation. I didn’t know which one it was, and I wouldn’t find out till this year in June 2016!

    Since June ( when I started hanging out with the Ubuntu group and where I met Cathy) I have had experiences that have told me where I am from. I am from Lyra and am part of the feline race:) I know this because Cathy (she is 65 and has had visitations from her Feline family) told me she saw a lion around me while we were chatting one day. She told me to look up Lyra, SO I DID! I google searched Lyra and saw a picture of a beautiful golden lion being and they like to get my attention by ringing my ears. I had the most INTENSE eye ring in both ears simultaneously. And since then, have had Lion synchronicity’s showing up all over the place! I now have found my inner Lion and know I am being divinely guided and protected. Awesome thing is, when I look back on my childhood, I had feline clues all along the way!

    The Lion/ Feline races are here to help and bring protection. Call on them whenever😻 Also, I read above that you may put an email chain together. I’d be so open to that! I’ll leave mine below:) Thank you!

    1. What a great story Carolyn! We can hear your inner lion roaring. I read recently that many star civilizations have contributed their genetic material to create all the life forms on earth. In a sense, these multidimensional civilizations seeded this planet with their bloodlines to create the millions of species of organic life forms on earth. This is known as the Living Library theory of earth history. It’s a fascinating, empowering idea and your story certainly confirms it. Thanks for adding your puzzle piece!

    2. i love the Ubuntu movement. i’m on their mailing list – so far there isn’t anyone in my area – although i’m not too attached to where i live and am itching to move – asking for my higher self to show me where and when.

      1. Oh GREAT Victoria!! We can always conference you in if you’d like to see how our meetings go. We have a few other people that conference in as well. A guy from the southern states and a few more! There’s a lady that drives to St. Paul from Duluth. That’s a good 3 hours.
        It’s very inspiring to talk shop and share with other like minds. Since meeting all of these special people, my life has completely changed. So many more synchronicity’s it’s re-donkulous!! Lol. Peace sistar✨

        1. i wanted to ask, well, everyone reading this a question. many of us seem to be experiencing a lot of fatigue/weariness and lack of energy. i believe this is due to many reasons – one, i keep feeling – is that we are targets – those of us who are awakened to the crap – who are starseeds/warriors – who are here to share our message. if any of you hold this belief as well, how do we go about reducing or eliminating these attacks? i am also familiar with scalar attacks and the effects of chemtrail spraying also causing similar symptoms – then there are the ascension symptoms as well. any thoughts/ideas on clearing out such dark and vibing up our frequencies? t/y. 🙂

          1. Hi I agree and posted that up a while ago. Myself &Jeannette have been trying to find the perfect protection but while we’ve closed many access points and are better its still not perfect. Lately we’ve been trying to focus on strengthening ourselves by finding all our soul parts etc…. to try to become whole again. It’s raised our vibration a lot but hasn’t protected us fully.

  31. The next message will have St. Jermaines decree on raising your vibration. With each 12th manifestation, it raises the frequency of the body and a lot more too! I have SpeakIt, it’s an app and I have listened to it the whole 144 times. Just read below. Also, here is a link to the show in which James Gilliland talked with Winston Strout and he references it in the talk.

    Highering your vibe will not allow these negatives entities to enter your field. I had a reptilian come in to mine right before I woke up one morning. My eyes turned into lizard eyes and they sucked my life force from me. It was very real! And I was very tired as soon as I woke up. After that night, I was like…” I’ve had it!” I also envision a 12 demential shield, here’s the link to that one too….

    Hope this finds you well!!

    Love and light☀️🦁💚


    1. hi carolyn – thank you. i actually listened to that show with james and winston and wrote winston and he sent me the statement you so kindly provided above. will check out the youtube video.

  32. 24 strands of DNA manifestation to be done 12 X 12 times= 144. Each 12 manifestations raise the frequency of the body, emotions, mental, ad spirit to a higher vibratory rate.
    I call upon Mother Earth and Archangel Uriel, the Fire of God the Light of God, the Archangel of Divine Wisdom, in the North and the Ruler of Elements of Earth. I project gratitude, light and love, I project my being, my energies, my thoughts deep into the magma, of Mother Earth, yellow, purple, orange in color, asking for the assistance in bringing the energy of the creative magma up through my feet, up to the root chakra or coccygeal Plexus into the second sexual and sacral chakra, the Plexus of creation.
    I call on Divine Creative Source and the Archangel Jophiel the Beauty of God, the Archangel of Creative Power and Illumination, The Guardian of the Tree of Knowledge with Archangel Uriel. I reach and project gratitude, light and love, high into the heavens, calling forth the golden-white light from Source Energy, bringing down the golden-white light through my cerebral chakras, down through the heart chakra adding love from my heart, and down to the sacral Plexus or creative center just above the pelvic bone.
    I call forth Archangel Zaphkiel, Keeper of the Orange Flame of Creation, the Angel of Ecstasy and Compassion to bring the creative energy of the orange flame into the sacral Plexus, with the intent of creating 24 strands of perfected DNA for the Celebration of our Existence
    I call in the Star Children, Keepers of the perfected 24 strands of perfected human DNA, with the intent to manifest the 24 strands of DNA in my Sacral plexus, in the second sexual and creative chakra in every cell in my body. As I place the 24 strands of DNA into every cell in my body, I intend to perfect my body, bones, blood, lymphatic system, nerves, organs, hormones, glands, proteins, telomeres, organelles, carbohydrates, arteries, veins, immune system, adipose tissues, cell membranes, mitochondria and every other cell in my body at a quantum level, manifesting the perfection of the original humans.
    I reform the 24 strands into 12 double-helix, connecting 2 strands each, into rotated, connected, perfected, spiral, double-stranded DNA, with perfected telomeres at the ends acting as little antennae, transmitting perfection, from the quantum field and source Energy, into each and every cell of my body to rejuvenate, revitalize my body to a perfected, eternal state of health and fitness.
    I braid these 12 double helixes into 24-stranded rope DNA in every cell in my body, making me strong, invincible, indestructible and impenetrable to all the toxins petrochemicals, nanobots and radiation.
    My 12 double helixes connect me to the quantum energies of all other celestial realms, I am now connected and integrated to all my Divine Interdimensional Beings in the Multiverse
    I AM now an enlightened Being of Light and Love! So BE it! So It IS! I AM!

  33. Thank you Victoria this is what i feel to, trowing out my tel-a-lie-vision 8 years ago helpt me in awakening faster as i have been on this road sinse childhood i find that today i only get frustrated/infuriated too look/listening to main stream media.
    All of us awakening to the light is seeing tru all the deseptions and lies and fake news the controllers are trying to spoonfeed us with, and when i try to discuss this with others they look at me as i if i am a rambling mad man.

    I tried to talk to a friend who is a pilot about chemtrails but he will not understand even when explained the differense of contrail verses chemtrail, the rise in foregn mettals in rainwater and simmilar things, some people i can talk about this things to but others have chose to stay ignorant of their own volatition.

    It is more than 15000 patents worldwide that has been clasified top secret, free energy, levitation and medical discoveries, we could all had paradise on earth for over 100 years ago if it had not been for the controllers that oppress us.

    The book `The source field investigations`writen by David wilcock is talking about mutch of the oppressed sciense that the world has been deprived from and is a good read.

    And thank you to all the others that has been comenting here, i feel you all.
    This deseption has gone on for to long a time and i/we will not tollerate it any longer, what are they doing sirkiling around the globe in theyr fansy flying machines??? how mutch more insanity/depravity are they going to look at, we are beeing strangled to death by this insaine controller system.

    I am trying as ofthen i can on a daily basis to send positive vibrations in to my comunity and the world but it is draining me for energy and some times i can not see the forrest for all the trees standing in the way, i get a little depressed.

    But as times go on i learn new triks, this world is as mutch magic as it is fysical real and when you now that you can bolster your defenses, read up on egyptian magic, read about Toth or as he is also called Hermes tris megistus, read about alchemy both spiritual and psycical it is realy interesting and will learn you how to battle negativ enteties and/or demons and how to make tinktures to boost your healt, psycical and fysical.

    Forgive me for my bad writing and god bless you all
    From Stavanger Norway

    1. t/y for visiting and sharing loke. from norway. sometimes i wonder why in the hell are we all located in such far away places? most of us that is. maybe it is true – we are here to hold that new energy grid that is coming in. i feel your words – and every one resonates with me. i have been hearing and seeing the word “alchemy” for weeks now – and i believe it is time to remember that i am alchemist and to study it once again. i started 20 years ago but it was too much for my mind to grasp. i wasn’t ready yet – far too early in my awakening. let me know if you would like to be part of the e-mail group. and yes – i agree with you – we could have had paradise a long time ago. all of those patents that will liberate us again are there – suppressed. but not much longer. i feel it. kinda like morpheus – i believe so strongly – almost blindly – in all of this liberation and outside benevolent help – it is all i have to go on these days – when i am not sucked back in to depression (as you spoke of). i am here for a reason – and it is happening now. i feel it. blessings and t/y again for sharing your heart. 🙂

      1. Hi Victoria1111
        I have tryed for some time now to get back to this site/page and now managed to get here after many reloads of this Page.

        I have never been in a e-mail group but i can make a try for it, i am for the most time introvert but will try to do my best. If i can learn from others or they can learn a litle bit from me it will be a win win situasion.

        My belifs system senters around God, Jesus, Toth/Hermes Tris megistus and Alchemy tying these together.

        Magic: Is a word invented and used by alchemist’s and the litteral translation or meaning of the word is: The abillity to change things/objekts with the power of the mind only.

        Alchemy came from Egypt, think about Moses!!! Raised in a Egyptian royal family and learned all the secrets the egyptian priesthood could learn him, Moses was not the only egyptan priest so could split the sea but he is the most nown one.

        Think about the 3 adept’s so went out to seek the son of God, if you where a adept at those times (astrolloger, astronomer, doctor, healer, magician) you where deffinitive a Alchemist.

        In egyptian papyrus they write about when Jesus and his mother crossed the border in to Egypt, all of Egypts false god’s fell to the ground and shattered.

        This is only a tiny bit of informasion related to the alchemist’s and is some of the reasons “they” try to ridicule the wisdom in this proffesional, the nowlegde off healing, how to clense dark/evil energis and powerful tinktures for both the body and mind.

        If you feel i can contribute in some mather, So let it be so.
        God Bless you all

        1. hey there loke ~ did i send you an e-mail to join the group?? please let me know. how interesting you speak of alchemy. i would love to pick your brain on this one as i recently bought the sorcerer’s stone with the strong but quiet desire to learn alchemy. you most definitely will have something to contribute to the group. and no worries about being introverted. you will not be the only one. i am more introverted myself as well – esp. in the beginning of any new interaction with one or more. 🙂 vicki

  34. Love your article and it reminded me of something as I read it. I don’t know whether it’s a thought I have had or something I have come across somewhere some time. Everything seems to just mix together with me.

    So my thought was that it feels like humanity has been stuck in a big dark box for eons. (Call this a matrix if you like) Within this sealed box we are obviously limited, possibly controlled by what is outside the box peering in. Eventually a tiny chink of light came into this box and some of those inside started to see it and explore it. These became lightworkers and started telling us about the big wide world outside the limiting box. The hole in the box became slightly bigger with all the exploration and more light came in, bathing others inside in a warm light and showing more and more of humanity that we are indeed in a box and need to climb our way out to freedom. The lightworkers increased in number and intensity, trying to free us from this box.

    But what I see, is that through this chink of light is…just another sealed box. A bigger lighter box, but just another box. More limitation. It’s all a grand illusion. I’m so tired of this limitation/illusion and of lightworkers who I believe are part of the illusion too. I’m really tired of playing this game. I know I am the illusion – I’m inside, outside and the box itself. But i’ll be damned if I know how to collapse it and find my peace. I feel so weary too…

    1. hi zoe~ i have wondered the same thing. how do we know what is really Truth? how many layers of the matrix are there? i have read about an energy grid that was put over our planet – i have seen it referred to as the “octopus” – and i think it is NASA that even has an image of a literal octupus w/its tentacles around the planet. what i ahve read is that there are higher dimensional forces removing this grid.

      1. Those higher dimensional forces are people like us removing this grid. People who are beginning to wake up to their strength and abilities. This is why we are attacked so much-look at how powerful we all are. We are beaten by life &placed miles away from support yet we survive and reach out. We do our best, but we are more than this. We are so much more than what we think we are.

  35. Thank you for this article. 35/M here. I found some relief in writing music about this current condition we’re in (we as in conscious starseeds) so I can expel some of this frustration in a more ‘therapeutic/cathartic’ way. I’m a bit more discreet about my spirituality as it tends to scare people away very easily. It’s a lonely journey for sure. Glad to know there’s more of us out there sharing the same feelings. One thing I know for sure, I ain’t coming back once this is over.

    1. i write music too – going back 20 years – in part to process the emotions of living in this reality. so i relate. 🙂 i think most of us say the same thing – we aren’t coming back. i’m collecting e-mails for an e-mail group of support/sharing – let me know if you would be interested.

  36. More than ever I really want to go home. I woke up today feeling very disappointed and it has stayed with me all day into the long night. I have tried raising my vibration, giving thanks, whatever I can think of and for some reason am unable to shake this. I do not know if it is the energy/frequency on the earth or if it’s me.

    I have good days and bad days and this is a really bad one. I am praying the new day will be much better. When I feel like this, I call upon my spirit guide and angels, but nothing seems to be working. When I feel like this, I know I am not alone yet I feel alone. I know my angels and spirit guide are always with me wherever I go, but it would be so nice to be able to talk with a fellow human being who really gets me, you know?

    I’m not happy with where I am in life and that’s a big part of it, I’m sure, but even if I were happy I still would have the “occasional blues”. By this, I mean wanting to go home. It’s not really something you can explain, more of a feeling, and I know all of you understand what I mean.

    In the last two or three years, I have disengaged with “3D” life. Very few things hold my interest. Like, watching movies, going out, be a restaurant, theater, etc. I love listening to music, even that has waned for me. I want out of this body so much I could scream. I even pray that I will go quietly in my sleep so I can go home. I am not suicidal, and will not do anything rash, but man if I could go right now, I would in a flash. Right now, I feel lost.

    I tell myself find something you love, pursue it, do something and life will look brighter and I’ll actually look forward to the next day and so on, but honestly, I do not know what I want to do. Sounds crazy, right? I come up with nothing, totally blank.

    The reason I woke up disappointed is I asked for a sign, a positive sign to help me want to stay here, and every time I sleep I see people I don’t care to see; don’t ever want to see again and haven’t seen them in decades! Or something is chasing me, or shooting at me, it’s always negative. Before I sleep, I ask my angels and spirit guide to protect me, watch over me. So, is this stuff I still need to release or is it an attack or what? I have been going through this for years and I can’t do this anymore. Is anyone else experiencing this or having a similar experience? Care to share? I really feel like I am holding on by my fingernails. I welcome any sharing, advice, suggestions.

    I can’t help but feel this is never ending yet I tell myself hold on, it will get better but WHEN?

    Love and light to all.

    1. Hi Andrea,
      Seems a lot of beings have made it to the same room you are in in which we have been there and done that. Have you ever met your Higher self? Seems you are determined to “be” in your lower self mode and YOU my friend are the only one to help you get free so you can hear your higher thoughts (the part of us that genuinely cares about our existence and destiny and forever leads us in the direction we wrote before we came).
      I wonder sometimes if I am actually living in my higher self as I have changed and am more about NOT letting others take advantage or my energy. I used to be more into compassion in which allows both.
      You have got to realize that you are a sovereign and supreme being in the fact that you are from the Source Creator. You are a SPARK of the Source and that is why all the other Starseeds are pacing back and forth to get to finally come here. Ha, have we got a surprise for them…just kidding, it is actually supposed to be a privilege to be here, maybe if we all put our heads together we can come up with why then maybe the when will come forth!
      Feel the Happiness!

    2. hi andrea ~ i have those days too. and i know the struggle to hold on. i know what it is like to go to sleep and actually ask to be released from your body and go home. i know what it is like to lose interest in 3D life. what do i do now? i accept myself as i am. i don’t run from those dark feelings. i sit with them and let myself have the experience without judgment. i do however at times ask “is this really MINE?” sometimes it can be an outside piece of shit influencing our thoughts and thus emotions. inner self will let you know the answer to that one. so at times when i feel low, i own it. i cuddle myself – hold myself – nurture myself like i would a scared little child. it sounds like most of us really don’t know what the hell we’re doing much of the time – we do know we feel different and alone and we know we are special and here to be a part of something big and grand and beautiful and wonderful – and for many of us this is our last trip to 3D. PERIOD. thank you for reaching out and being so honest – you are welcome to keep reaching out here. much love to you…

  37. Hi there and much happiness and joy to you and everyone here and there!
    Have read your message and yell for help as I too have yelled many times toward the heavens and get only shooting stars. Ha maybe it will take one hitting me up side the noggin to wake me enough. 🙂 I am enriched by all feelings expressed above in the writings of the all that are here on the planet ready for change. I too have a long story and many lifetimes and remembrances, a strong intuition and many bumps from the school of hard knocks. I have learned that this might well be what this planet is all about.

    Sounds as if you Miss Victoria (such a strong and vibrant name in which I gather was given you because of the “Victory” that proceeds you that you have not awakened to or are aware of as of yet)!
    Gawd, you would not believe what just came forth to me…I am also an “oria” in which I just found out means “Golden” and originates from the Basque nationality which also holds the largest amount of RH- blood type on the planet. I am that also. Check the website and see if that don’t just fit to a tee…it does for me! HA Cool!

    I have so much I would like to share with you and with the others here but what comes to mind are the things that have happened that are definite in the way of proof. I have been the road of faith and hope and it seems that leads to MORE of the same without any answers. Have also been the path of BELIEVING and it seems it really does create the next few steps in ones life but ends with the little word there in the middle “LIE”. Also without any answers. Makes a person think there really are no answers just like “are no” together makes no sense the same as “good grief”! I have been told by my higher self “Estah” that the TRUTH is the opposite of what we are told here on Earth and that is a major KEY to unlock the door that leads to a more intense opening in which we have to travel….so is that a good thing?

    I remember (and that is another thing…words with re in front of them, seems even the language is sure we have done this before!) in being a devout Christian for most of my life and figuring out that TRUTH fits here for me anyway and that LOVE is an illusion in which we all desire and think we share but is really a bit far away from us all. Einstien said that one cannot understand LOVE unless one knows what hate feels like and that there is no light without darkness so I guess we are on the back side of what we desire. This is the reason I went in another direction and realized to that “judgement” is a major player in this world of humaness and when we can live in happiness and harmony with out judgement we will rise in vibration and make a step closer to the door that was unlocked by truth.

    Guess by now crazyness has overcome me and I should let this ride to see your comment.

    I have a question, what is the deal with the Twin Flame thing and the idea that it would be male and female and that we are searching for it? What fills my mind is that if the other part of our being is somewhere else such as with Source till we evolve enough to join them then if we count our past lives and all the eternities of each then why would the twin flame be separate? Would that no be just another search for whats OUT THERE verses what we already have and are. We are told that we are and have everything we will ever need and all we have to do is REALIZE it.
    Step by step and slowly we turn and then ….do it all again ….

    1. t/y for writing! i actually gave myself the name victoria. my birth name is vicki – but it is so plain. middle name is noreen – which for awhile i went by noreen starre. who knows what “name” i will choose when i fully merge with all of my selves – which the other night i had this feeling my self as connected to source is in fragments – all searching to unite – so who knows what this twin flame thing really means. it’s gotten all romanticized in 3d here. honestly the more i search the less i know. it’s like flying half-blind – this journey of uncovering the truth. the more i dig the more answers i come up with. oh yes – i’m also rh neg too. we are a rare breed. got into that several years ago and could resonate w/the traits. it is said we are closely watched – something i have felt for most of my life – but i don’t know if that’s a good thing. are we watched because we are special or because we’re rats in a maze in this thing called life in this controlled matrix – maybe a bit of both depending on if it’s light or dark. yes – judgment is duality. vibe in love – that’s really the only “truth” i seem to follow these days – when i’m not being weary or pissed off that is. t/y for joining in the conversation. i am still gathering ideas on where to take this thing next – email group – maybe a group meditation too to focus on what we want to see in this reality. focused intent w/numbers is powerful and effective.

      1. Howdydoodyrootietootie,
        Tis a day as fine as frog hair for sure! 🙂 I so totally resonate with you and many of the others here.
        I am excited to find a new home with you all and I do so hope you will pursue an email group so we can connect better with each other. I am sure each had a mega amount to share and I have always found that its the tidbits that complete the circle. Maybe some kind of forum to do like you said with the focus meditation!
        What does a thing like that cost?
        Happiness and Joy All The Day Long!!!

  38. I am feeling better. Sorry if I bummed anyone out. That is the last thing I want to do. I know things are getting better even if it doesn’t seem like it. Guess maybe it was a dark night (and day) of the soul but this too has passed.

    Life is good and I have a lot to be thankful for and I am. Every day I give thanks for what I have and the people I love.

    Blessings and Love and Light to all.

  39. Thank you Gloria and Victoria for your kind words of wisdom and love. It made me smile.

    It is wonderful to finally communicate with people who understand where I am coming from and not be judged as some do.

    Love and Light!

    1. Back at cha my friend, we feel the same about you…can you imagine (all of us being sparks of the Source) how BRIGHT we really are and how we could truly illuminate the Universes if we all could all just feel happiness and love at the same time. This is as good a place as any to start RIGHT!!!
      Thank YOU for your light and love as well as everyone here at Victoria’s Star Ship for Starseeds.
      Victory for Victoria!!! 😀

  40. Hi, guess today is my day for using foul language and getting all pissy about everything. The world is going to hell in a hand basket, probably the one little red riding hood is carrying and the big bad wolf just chewed a hole in the bottom of it so the people are def. loosing ground.

    1. hey gloria (glo)~ i think there are energies at play – the sun, perhaps HAARP??. i also believe collectively we are feeling our frustrations right now – cause god knows i am pissy as hell today myself. i have had attacks when i have attempted to share my political views – sharing those truths and info i have incovered because i do my homework and actually research instead of wathcing whatever puppet is on tv – anyway – normally i will stay calm – at least i don’t get nasty – but today i say “fuck you!” and walked away. this was after i was told “i like watching you get agitated.” who the hell says something like that??? gggggggrrrrrrrr went for a long walk – swinging my umbrella at the tree branches (sorry branches). sooooooooo my point is – what i keep returning to – is take a big breath – BE who you DESIRE to be. let go of the drama – cause it’s all just that – emotional baggage wrapped up in a basket of drama. much like you described. don’t let myself get involved in all the insanity – that ain’t how we manifest paradise on this planet. we do that by being the peace we wish to see. it ain’t easy – but it is necessary. in the midst of the “fuck you’s” of our day that is. 🙂 rock on starseed!

      1. Geesh, I was up at 2 this morning, I see you were up early also or had not gone to bed yet.
        Thinking about what to be today! Thank you for the response, it means a lot to me to know someone is listening and cares. I care about you and the others here also. I have delved into some of your interesting articles and can resonate with them in the way of feeling the gggrrr towards the elite and those that constantly think we are the fleas on the planet. Ya know, that very thing is on all levels…. the powers that be I mean, from the elite controllers to the idiot handing out cardboard boxes for the next being that needs a home. I think this is why we don’t get any open doors at this point.

        We have GOT to raise the level of vibration then teach others to do the same, those that will acknowledge we are even in the room anyway. My own brother keeps saying he wishes he was able to use his intuition like I do and I keep telling him I know what he needs to do but he is so busy being higher minded that he thinks I am just a dweeb that thinks I am the one that is higher minded. I USED to do automatic writing hearing from my higher self in which I consider the God of myself and used to say that God told me this and God told me that and he would say I was a goodie to shoes because I thought I was the only one in the family that God talked to. So see, if one tries to take steps forward in being positive as it is the family member that will kick the hardest. Too bad tho, I was told he has been my brother since the beginning of all our lifetimes. My mother that just crossed was also, I actually broke the contracts with them and all that takes from my energy lifeline.
        I had to as they were draining me to the point that my health has deteriorated and I can feel the dis-ease within.
        Anyway, here is a thought for the day: Universal Law 101: What one resists, will persist!
        I just don’t know that I believe that, what are your thoughts and maybe some of the others here will give an answer……???
        Have a grand and encouraging day!

        1. i definitely believe what we resist persists. what we fight we feed. the body doesn’t lie and when it is tense it is calling for us to acknowledge what it is holding onto – then LOVING ourselves as we would our child – a child – a pet – just as Source. at times i will literally hold myself like i am a small child and say “it’s ok”. over and over. i also do the “thank you i love you i am sorry please forgive me” prayer. it is powerful. at times i will touch where i feel pain on my body – emotional physical – and say the prayer repeatedly. it is imperative we must first be the Love we wish to see in our world. accepting what is – who we are – and finding the love and forgiveness – and gratitude – are really the only tools in our spiritual toolbox we need to us. i think… 🙂

  41. Victoria1111 and all,
    I feel moved to comment on this subject. I’d just like to share a bit of what I’ve been discovering lately.

    As a starseed, I am weary too. I believe we have been at this crux several times before in the history of Earth. And we have failed. However, this time we will not fail. I firmly believe this. I believe the tide has turned already, and events are playing out as situations unfold. Currently we are at a very tumultuous time, but it is not a time to give up or give in to the fear porn or resign to doom and gloom. Corny as it sounds, I think we are in the darkest before dawn phase, and we are all getting agitated and impatient.

    My guidance has been telling me that my state and purpose is one more of being than doing. It is not my place to convince others to awaken. I am to be a beacon to shine my light. I am to hold space for the others in my community, and be Illumination within Awareness, shining Knowledge and Truth — that is Awareness of my own personal truth.

    I interpret this as creating a group for meditation (or something like that), letting people know it’s there, but not trying to ‘make it happen’ — not even caring if people show up. I can hold the meeting as a solo person just as well. The important thing is that ‘It Is There.’ This is what I mean by holding space for others. I have the same attitude about my QHHT practice. It doesn’t matter if I get clients or not. I am simply to exist, and Be the Guardian that I am. This alone will raise consciousness.

    The messages I’ve been getting lately, and many have stated here, is that if all starseeds, light workers, etc. would do this, we would accelerate the process. In fact, We Are the Change we’ve all been waiting for. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” We are powerful beings able to manifest with our thoughts, our consciousness. Therefore, what I’m doing is staying out of all negativity and victim mentality; meditating and going within to clean up my psyche, karma and past lives; asking for Guidance; assimilating my Higher Self; and keeping inspired by the myriad of Youtube channels and Facebook pages that encourage and support me to do just that. I am focusing on empowering myself.

    Yes, I still get depressed and feel lonely at times, but connections like this (thanks Victoria!) keep me going. Besides, this can’t last forever!

    Sending you all Love and Light! <3

    1. oooh i love what you say cynthia and given what i have felt here and there – over the years and also very recently – your words really resonate with me. i too believe we have tried this before – this is not the first time we have gone through this experience (however i believe for many of us, certainly myself, this is IT – last time – not gonna make the attempt again). in one of my past life meditative moments i saw my birth – and the feeling i had at the time was “let’s do this and let’s get it RIGHT this time”. no emotion really – just this neutral but nonetheless strong feeling. also feeling less too that my purpose is to awaken – and not really even DO as so much as to BE – just as you said. those nudges come when i get all wrapped up in my emotional intensity and frustration which lead me to exhaustion and wanting to give up. anyway – i will add you to this list of e-mails i have finally gathered – so that we can take this conversation(s) more private – and focus together on BEING that love and that change – that energy – we all wish to see manifest on this earth. like you said – and like i comletely agree with – the more of us doing this together – the faster this new earth and new reality will manifest. blessings and gratitude to you. 🙂

      1. Thank you so much, Victoria, for your beautiful reply. I am really excited about the add on the email list! It feels so good to be accepted for who I am, especially since I had been so conditioned to rejection. I really resonate with what you said as well. I feel such a camaraderie with you and the others on here. I love your playful spirits. I especially love the idea of having a group email community, not only to bolster our spirits and keeping us lighthearted; but to combine our energies to empower us and carry us all through this time of turmoil, envisioning what WE want the world to be, and “breaking on through to the other side.” We are all in this together in One Love. Thank you for organizing this! ❤️❤️❤️

  42. I read the original article”Thoughts of Weary Starseed . . . ” a couple of weeks ago and then came back today after a 6-7 hour session with my spirit guides to read it again. After each of these marathons with my guides, I want to somehow just stop it all . . .get out . . .I’m just so tired . . .I was all fired up in the beginning just like you . . .but, over time, and believe me, it’s been what I consider to be a long time, a long haul . . .I just want it all to end . .
    I wanted to tell you a couple of things I do feel rather confident about at this point: first , I agree with whomever said that our job is to work on ourselves . . .not to awaken others . . .I use the analogy of recovery . . . I have been clean and sober for 22+ years and what I learned was that you could not get anyone else sober until they were ready . . .I believe the same is true of awakening . . .everyone has a timetable . . .if, however, someone wants help, that is another matter.

    So, thank you for the article . . .it is so good to know I’m not alone with these feelings of anger, wanting to go ‘home’ wherever that is, etc.

    1. doesn’t it feel like we’re going somewhere? i certainly don’t see myself in this reality for the long term. is it another planet (home planet?) new earth? this earth in a different dimension? i agree with you sue – at this point – that it is never our job to awaken others. all we can awaken is ourselves and then be the example. be there if others/another are drawn to connect with us – much like i (and i am sure we all) did along our journey’s.

  43. Hi and good morning….tis a new day for me as I woke up into this reality realizing that today in this moment it is time for me to start serving my higher self instead of everyone else in the world. I was to volunteer for yet another job where the owner of the organization gets paid for what the volunteers do and I have been doing this since I was in my thirties and working a job and taking care of home all in the same 24 hour day. Tis is a for of mind control of the masses and it is time to control my own mind instead of letting the powers that be have all the fun.
    I watched a video with Cathy O’Brian with Mark Phillips and they were talking about how easy it is to be controlled and how to break free. We are all being controlled and I truly believe now that this is the reason we are here is to figure out how they controlled us so we can undo the process and find ourselves. THEN help others that are ready to transform also.
    Today I AM taking steps toward knowing and protecting “ME”!
    Have a ab-noraml day!!! 😀

  44. I have been reading through all of the comments and it’s amazing that we all have such a commonality of feelings about the experience of awakening while feeling as if we are all alone . . .I go for days without speaking to a soul except for my guides and angels . . . I live alone and most of my friends who were in recovery with me over the years were just not at all open to Angels and other dimensions and clairvoyance and all the other things that were going on with me. One of my friends told me I should get checked out by a neurologist!! The rest would just get a glazed look in their eyes whenever I tried to say something . . .finally I gave up and realized that it is not my job to change them . . .I’ve learned that’s part of Love . . acceptance . . .not much is said about acceptance because we want what we want when we want it . . but there is such a thing as Divine Timing tied to the Divine Plan for the Earth . . .
    I am referring to a book entitled ‘Servers of the Divine Plan . . .’ as an example . . .not that I do not scream to the Heavens like everyone else has described . . .I literally ‘see’ clocks every day . . .they tell me what time various upgrades or changes will occur . . this year .2016 is supposed to be a completion year . . .let us hope . .

  45. Hi Everyone ;-}
    I just read the article and all the comments and you all have said, in different ways, all I have been feeling during my lifetime. I remember when I was in my early teens and going out in the backyard at night and looking at the sky, I said “When are you going to come and get me?” So all my life I have been waiting to go home. This lifetime has been really rough, disappointing, and poor.

    People just don’t get me !!! LOL. These past four years I have spent alone in the nearby mountains of Colorado and don’t even feel like connecting with people. I hate going into stores to do errands. I was going into town once per month, but this past 6 months I have only gone into town once. I guess, I have become a hermit. I feel too much negativity when I get around people, plus them not understanding me. Family and friends acted towards me like I had a screw loose and didn’t keep contact during the years. I was the wanderer of the family.

    Anyway, to shorten this, please put me on the email list…I need to have some connection to people who believe what I do. Thanks for all the helpful comments and making my day today. ;-} I don’t feel so alone anymore. Excuse me in the future for I don’t have a way with words or expressing myself.

    Wished for you all:

    1. you express yourself just fine. 🙂 i’m more or less a hermit too – at times not as much as i would like to be (i have a child). it’s rather sad as naturally i truly enjoy people and love interacting with others. but i have also at the same time grown very tired over the years – trying to “keep up with the joneses” – at least trying to make my way into the land of financial security and all. home ownership. etc. etc. just kinda let all of that go in the feeling that what i have envisioned for so long is coming to fruition. many of us don’t feel a connection with our birth families. thank you for commenting kate – will add your name to the e-mail list – which i am still putting together. one of my issues these days – fatigue and procrastination. well really just a desire to do nothing unless i have to. 🙂

    2. Hey there KateS,
      I am beginning to get the same way, this year….also last year I have been thrown into the populas because of my Mom’s Alzheimer’s and rehab after a fall. Walked all the way with her and now she has stepped into a new beginning! I have met a lot of people and learned a lot especially from others with AL at the nursing facilities. One falls in love with some and feels sorry for the others but one thing for sure is that none really want to be here anymore.
      I have stayed home as much as I can after the week of the funeral for the purpose of getting on track with MY life again. How in the world have you managed six months without going to town? You must have a big supply of all the necessities which is a great idea for sure! I went through CO in 2000 down through Silverton to Durango and I do believe I could become a hermit there around Silverton for sure! Such a wondrous and magical place. One can FEEL the energy…maybe because of the Rhodochrosite and the copper rose colored mtn’s all around.
      Anyway, good you are here and I would like to hear more about your adventures alone there on the mountain!
      A new friend?

      1. i was wondering the same thing – stocking up on supplies?? i would LOVE to live remotely like that for awhile – in the mountains – small mountain community. just to regroup w/nature and self.

      2. Hi Gloria, it has been an adventure I will tell you !!!
        I had an emergency stash of food saved over the years and just started eating that because of the expiration dates on them…they tasted pretty good and that lead me to start ordering more of that over the internet. I order mostly freeze dried foods {non-GMO}. I do have to say that I am going into town this week and getting Dominoes, Chinese food, Mexican food and freezing it, LOL…sick of over prepared emergency food. My food budget has been very limited these past few months because of repairs I had to make to the water system here this past fall. And I really need to take the garbage in to the dump….actually surprised that the bear didn’t get into it.

        I get to see brown bears, cougars, wild turkeys { nineteen of them one day}, antelope, deer {the fawns are the cutest}, a bobcat, elk…the other day I had a big reddish brown, one horn bull in the yard eating the tall grass. There are a couple of ranches in the area and some of the cattle have gotten out of the fences and been walking down the county road, LOL.

        I am about 70 miles east of the Rockies, but we have some pretty high mountains in our area and I am at 8600′ elevation. Winter cold is from October thru May and a neighbor just told me that we had 13 feet of snow last year and the year before was even worse. One time we got 18 inches in just a few hours, thus electrical outages. This year we had temps in the teens at night in September. Right now my woodstove in not working correctly so I couldn’t use it last year, but I met a guy named Galen yesterday {10/30} and he said he would look at the woodstove when he comes back up here in a few days with more moving items. I helped him with his moving yesterday. I still don’t know where the thought came from that I needed to go and help and get to know him came from…not like me at all. Didn’t even know if it was one person or a family when the thought came. I had heard hammer pounding/building recently. Seems like a pretty nice guy…from Kansas.

        I took Galen to a neighbor of his {two lots away from me -6 acres distance} and introduced them, then found out that that neighbor was moving back into town {30 miles away} because bothof them have medical problems. He was someone I could go and ask for a little help/advice if I needed it…also a resource …will miss them. Hope Galen will be someone I can ask advice of.

        Adventures, hmmmm, mostly have been having repairs on very little income….just mostly trying to survive until we get our blessings. Ohhh, I did have my truck burn totally three years ago…took the volunteer fire dept 50 minutes to get here, thus my truck of 21 years was totalled and it burned about 5 trees. I lost about 700 dollars of camping gear in that truck because it was packed in case of having to evacuate because of a wildfire. I was totally unprepared to try to buy another vehicle, but donations got me one. The good blessing about that fire was that I didn’t park in my usual spot. If I had, the fire would have taken out the propane tank and that would have taken out the house…smile.. then I would have been homeless.

        Wished for you all:

        1. PS Glo, Sorry for your loss on your Mom’s passing and yes, glad to be a friend/pen pal. ;-} I lost my parents in 2008 and my brother in 2013, altho we weren’t all that close.

          Victoria, thank for your comments and the same with you…friend/pen pal?

          1. Awww, thanks KateS and thank you for the beautiful be blessed movie and back at cha with that! Sounds like you are a mountain woman for sure! Your having fun huh! I hope all works out with Galen for you and him. I am sure up in the wind as high as you all are that the air must be clean and crisp. It really gets hazy here in Arkansas in the river valley. They spray the chems all the time now, day and night and I keep thanking the Universe for the clean air and the clean water and the beautiful earth so I just know it will all come about soon!
            I use gratitude to the Universe (Source Creator) to bring about all the good and happy things in the lives of all of us! Whenever there is a need just be thankful for it and see it done and pretty soon there it is!
            Happiness and Joy!

  46. I think I know what it feels like, even so I am only here for one incarnation.
    Most of our work is complete, we have anchored what needed to be anchored, and the last step will be the exit.
    Over the last three years we have seen exit points come and go. And I am tired .

    1. Hi Ladygaia, guess not many are around here, I am anxious to get started with the email list and making new friends. Hugs to you too and have a wonderful beautiful and happy day!

        1. Hi, what part of the world are you in Miss ladygaia? I am in Arkansas…US and from the Pleaidies. Was told that when meditating long time ago. Was also told a couple years ago that I am not really from there that I am contracted to them for some reason from somewhere else. What about you?

          1. Hi Gloria, currently I am from PacNorthwest area, definately we ( human ) are all coming from many other ET groups mix. So far, I feel like I am from Sirians, no one told me , my heart felt so. Most readings do say I am very old ,old soul…and absolutely clear that my mission here is for helping ascension. Personally I felt so weary and am ready to “go home”.
            Love Ladygaia

  47. Nice to hear from you both!! Wonder what is next in the old world! Do we run and hide or make a stand and get shot. Guess we will find out when faced with it all. Maybe that is our way home. What do you gals think?
    We finally got rain yesterday but today we can’t even see the hills across the way because of all the chemicals on the ground level.
    Much love and light to you both!

  48. ;-} Hi Everyone !!
    Here is an article, that I just found, that might be helpful to us all:

    11 Ways To Relieve Spiritual And Psychic Burnout

    by Michelle Walling, CHLC

    Are you feeling like you are DONE and just want to go home? There are several reasons spiritual burnout is occurring right now. Energetically, we have received many waves of energy that are wiping out all that does not serve us. As we shift timelines and frequencies, we may feel a disconnect from our bodies. Now is the time to make the changes necessary to adapt to the new energies and to learn how to take better care of ourselves.

    There are many reasons for spiritual burnout. First of all, we are ascending! Our DNA is changing, our cells are morphing, and our vibrational level and consciousness are rising. Whether we realize it or not, these changes started many years ago at a slower pace in order to help us get used to change. We have reached an acceleration now and anything that has not been addressed or cleared is coming up for our attention.

    Energetically, we are receiving energy from the Cosmos because of the rare galactic alignment with the Earth and Alcyone to the center of the Cosmos. We may be temporarily disconnected from our bodies, like one of those Stretch Armstrong dolls. We need to spring back into form and to get fully centered and grounded once again.

    Next, there have been a lot of low level frequencies bombarding the planet through extraterrestrial technology. In concert with the food and water additives that respond to ELF’s and the collective stress that everyone on the planet is feeling, it has been hard to shake the feelings of despair, anger, and frustration. In a way, some of us needed to experience that so we could transmute those feelings for the collective. But we are now moving beyond that role and are focusing on the self, which is the best way to help the collective at this time.

    Finally, many of us have been in service to our fellow awakened friends by tirelessly healing, clearing, and informing them. We have been doing the work for them and have given and given until we have almost nothing left to give. We are now finding ourselves depleted as we needed the energy to deal with the energetic shifts. It is now time to regenerate our energy and to change the way we help people. In my job as a holistic life coach, I rarely have repeat clients and it’s not because I’m not good at what I do. I strive to help people empower themselves and to remember who they are to where they don’t really need anyone else.

    From here on out, we should be empowering people to find the answers within themselves. For too long, others have continued to look outside of themselves for the answers they seek, through psychics, mediums, seers, and writers. The message we get when we are in burnout is ENOUGH serving at the moment. I have actually stopped doing some of my interviews as I put myself back together again, and I can feel the difference in the “new me” that will match the new information that I am now able to tap into. If I had not taken the time for myself and instead pushed my weekly show out just to keep the ball rolling, I might have experienced some burnout.

    Now that we know how we get burnout, here are 11 ways you can turn things back around for yourself.

    Get professional help from a life coach, spiritual counselor, QHHT practitioner or a similar energetic healer to strengthen your connection to Source. This is an infinite amount of energy and is available when the intentions and use are in the highest and best good for all. Once you are feeling better, finish the job yourself by healing your body and raising your consciousness.

    1. Get out of your head and into your heart.

    The monkey mind only confuses things. The NOW moment is in the heart. Strive to be in the heart in your waking meditation more than not.

    2. Be willing to let go of materialism and programming.

    This includes many of the tools and methods that you used in the past to clear and heal others. Realize when you are being over-controlling of your future instead of allowing things to unfold from the vibrational guidance of your higher self. Recognize the self destructive programming from the past and treat yourself best first so that you can then better help others.

    3. Reduce the amount of time on the internet and in front of the tv unless it is highly positively focused.

    As you raise above the astral realm frequency, the technology being beamed at you will affect you less and less as long as you are not drawn down by low vibrational topics and heated discussions.

    4. Get out in nature.

    This cannot be stressed enough. We need to at least vibrate at Earth’s rising frequency, if not higher.

    5. Take a sea salt and baking soda bath.

    Negative entities and thought forms hate salt. Send love to your bath water and the water in your body. Talk to your body and organs frequently and tell them that everything is going to be ok. They may have been freaking out with the recent energy spikes.

    6. Ask for help from your team.

    Your guides can slow things down a bit to help you assimilate the energies better. Most of all, ask your team to help you help yourself instead of relying on them to do things for you. When you learn how to do this you can then teach it to others.

    7. Reduce stress and let go of baggage.

    Learn to recognize when material things and people are triggering you. Learn to let it flow in and out of you rather than reacting in the way that you were programmed. Eventually, in a way you will tend to “lose your mind” and just begin to laugh at the absurdity around you. That’s okay, because laughing will raise your vibration. Make the changes you need to be stress and anxiety free.

    8. Say no to people who want you to give them all of the answers.

    Without turning your back on people, learn how to give them precise answers that make them think for themselves. We may be disempowering people by giving them the answers all of the time. It’s time for people to step up themselves in the essence of who they are. This new energy is instead served by giving them the initial boost of vibrational healing and providing confirmation for them in the messages they receive. Then focus on teaching them how to finish healing themselves and how to connect with their higher self. We cannot do that for them., and their commitment to do this is imperative at this time. Learn how to adapt your teachings to what people need now, not what they needed one, five, or ten years ago.

    9. Re-asses your living situation- location, job, relationships, and the energy that you live in.

    Many of us have already done this, however it may be an ongoing thing as you continue to raise your frequency.

    10. Love yourself and forgive yourself.

    You may have slipped several times over the last year by snapping back at someone or losing your cool. Although that energy had to be moved through you, we don’t want to push it on other people. Forgive yourself and forgive those who pushed you to the edge. Promise yourself that you will do better next time.

    11. Raise your vibration.

    If you are in burn out, you have lowered your frequency a bit. Perhaps you didn’t realize how much your environment and the people around you have affected you. Do things you love and BE love. Treat others well and be responsible for your own actions and words. Ask yourself what it is going to take to raise your frequency above the matrix to where you are an observer. Be in the world watching, but no longer match the frequency around you. Laugh your ass off it that is what it takes.

    I am here to tell you that no matter what things are going to work out. There will be a time where we look back and see why things happened the way they did. We are never alone and we have much help that we may not realize at this time. We must learn to take care of ourselves and to stop allowing people to steal our energy. It is time for everyone who is awakened to let go of crutches and braces and to begin to RUN FOREST, RUN!!!

  49. Is anyone here today? Is there anyone out there that is having a wierd and frustrating day all because they are fighting with themselves ? I really feel like a dud as I am feeling more anger and frustration now days and I know all I have to do is find the good in all things “RIGHT”???? That is not working really well right now either. I kinda feel dead inside and I seem to get the same feeling from the earth right now. Is anything REALLY ever going to change ? Even my dreams or my astral flights are not positive at all! What to do? I don’t even WANT to try and find the good! “””HELP”””

    1. hi gloria~ my experience is similar too – that energy of frustration and as you said “deadness” is quite strong yesterday and today. i cried a lot this morning. i learn to just let myself be w/o judging or even trying to fix. in fact before i read your response above i was sitting at the table eating breakfast and i looked out at the skies and thought “earth just seems to be really blah today”. i got up and thought – ok let’s find some good – and i thought “no – i don’t want to!” so i just let myself be and in time i process and lighten up again. supposedly (and good lord who really knows) – but SUPPOSEDLY we are releasing and purging lots of old baggage – and i feel that way about myself. so treat yourself the way you would a small child or a dear friend – and love yourself – nurture yourself – and let yourself simply Be. 🙂 <3 much love!

      1. Hey there and thank you for your response. Do you ever feel like you have noone to watch your back, to make sure your family and the people that once called themselves friends don’t get happy with that knife they sometimes call “love”! Well, that is my feeling today as my wonderful brother has decided to take his share of Mom’s estate even tho he has not been around pretty much ever. I have helped him numerous times with problems to the point I put my own life aside and he comes back with “you OWE me” type crap. Mom has had AL and has lived with my husband and I for the past 8 years till she crossed over in Oct. He has said all along that he will be glad to let me have the share that Mom had because he got the share that Dad had but now he wants half of this also and it is state law that says he can have it and I can do nothing. I am really fed up with all of this bullshit right now. Sorry to be so negative here at Thanksgiving! Any suggestions!

        1. sometimes i think most of us have come from families that simply do not feel like family. why? who knows. wouldn’t it have been wonderful to have been born into a family who sees things the way we do? perhaps it is because there are so few of us we had to pick families filled w/people who don’t “get it” – so that we can plant those seeds. as you can tell i have no answers. in fact i am at a place where i can honestly say i don’t know sheot – other than how i feel about myself and my own experiences and what i desire. you have my empathy.

  50. I wonder how many people like us feeling the “deadness” and loneliness at the same time. I cried , I am angry, frustrated. I don’t have any same mind people live around me, (except now I sort of have you Vicki… THANKS GOD!) And I have thought about Vicki ‘s plan to start our own community long time ago when I started my ascension path.
    I swear long time ago I had a reading about me and she said she “sees” me in the future I will live in a small community with no money involved , just using trade off… something like that. That was twenty years ago … and she also “sees” me living in the area where there is lots of islands… Wow, think about it now it seems I am right on path, but still, I had my own families problems, issues and still wonder how I can manifest this dream to come truth..
    P.S. hanging there, Gloria, I feel your pain, do not give up, some one like me will be there for you whenever you need ( HUG) !!

    1. this “start your own community” has been entering my life again – universe speaking to me. i wonder too how i will manifest this desire. like you – i had the same visions (only mine came through on their own) – 20 some years ago. no islands – but def. small community with no money. … i feel broken and run down – but i still keep plugging along. but i gotta tell you as politically incorrect as this is, even in the ascension community, i think many of us warriors could use a rescue – some help – a fucking vacation and some real healing after living on this toxic planet full of hurting, toxic people. we ALL need healing and i am feeling this very very strongly right now – mother earth and her pain and the collective and individual pain. this is really coming to the forefront right now. the energy is palpable. and there are some who say to stop waiting for a savior – when i believe this is exactly what many of us need. not in the terms of someone telling us who we are – but that help i described. if i had the damn $$ i would be seeking out much of this right now and yet most of these healers still follow the old paradigm of charging ridiculous amounts of money w/o offering pro bono work much less sliding scale fees. that one chaps my ass!

  51. Are there REALLY et’s out there trying to help us? I wonder as I haven’t got any proof. I FEEL like I have been somewhere else but have I actually? There is a ton of talk and here say but we have not seen the proof….my faith is wavering in all directions and my feelings have been more negatory instead of positive. Surely one of us can find a key that will unlock a door in our minds that will free us from this world we have created. Seems “Q” from Star Trek series may really be in control of the humans. The “Q” considers us as being the lowest being in the multi-verses. Maybe he is right and maybe the only good 144,000 are already off the planet on a space ship far far away right now not caring how or what is going on here. Surely we were given a “WAY OUT” …………. of this poisonous attitude….
    will someone or something please show ….we have ALL asked for sure!!!
    The dis-ease is growing on the planet!

    1. i feel you and hear you gloria. although i cannot process the idea that the “good” ones were already removed. that is matrix speak and duality. and it also speaks of a control system. that being said yes i agree – we HAVE to know somewhere how to break down this energy grid and remember and experience who we REALLY are. like you i am tired of waiting. but here we are nonetheless. being the observer i have found is the best place/space to be in to handle those emotions when they arise. and for those who believe there are entities that feed off the negative emotions (i more or less believe that) – disciplining ourselves to choose the best thought from where we are – well that raises the vibrational frequency – helps out – and that is THE key to bringing this control grid down for effing good! <3

  52. Good Morning,
    Well, guess this is a day we can actually say, “what IN the world is going on” with the seismograph dilemma!
    This is what the Universe said to me this morning and it makes good sense for sure!

    Just do it, Glo.
    Everything you need to know, you know, and everything you need to have, you have. Everything!

    Time and Space is a primitive school. There are bigger challenges “out there,” bigger adventures, and lots more friends, but you gotta do what you gotta do, here and now. You gotta live the truths you’ve discovered, apply the principles, and never again think, “Why isn’t it working?” “It’s hard,” “I don’t know,” because such thoughts are like hitting the replay button for whatever you’ve just been through.

    Look ahead with your dreams in mind and give thanks, because you know exactly what to do.

    The Universe

    1. i don’t know how to remove your comments from this site and i don’t feel i need to do that anyway- that is something you can likely do. will remove you from the google group – i thought i had done that but you seemed to change your mind. you’re a bit inconsistent.

  53. Add me to the list of starseeds this post resonates so strongly with as I found it while searching for something to relieve a little of the frustration I am feeling today. Tired, too, of the “be patient” speech. Yes, I know it’s coming, but I’m ready to step into the reality where it’s here already. The false light matrix totally messed with my head when I found out about it. I’ve screamed out in anger many a time to guides and whoever else I thought was there at the time. Questioning half the time what’s actually real and what is not. Questioning it all now. Lots of love, endurance and support to all of us that have made it this far!

    1. yes – many of us feel weary of this “be patient” mantra. i read something today about that – lisa brown (she has her own internet site) and she discusses the patience issue. as we ascend we become just pure Being – which means patience, which is a human ego trait, gets more or less left behind. or perhaps just molds/becomes one with our higher selves. still have to process that one before i can give it a “yes” or not. but if i can free myself of the patience/impatience issue, i would be quite happy. 🙂

  54. I love you already…
    I wish i could have read all the comments, but there are so many!! I have browsed so many sites and blogs with continuous mounting frustration. Not only am I a weary wanderer, but I am so discouraged with how we are taught and encouraged to love and fogive evil. I am a so called starseed wanderer, with much vindication and proof of calling. However I feel like the biblical Elijah who had a different message then the 450 false prophets. (I do not profess to be a Christian….
    I will read more of the comments.. thank you for your site!!!

  55. Wow, thank you for this. I say, YES! When can we go home? I just want to go home. These humans are like zombies. Frozen stones incapable of hearing, full of hate, and seething with strange ideas. I can’t relate to them. Why are we here?! WHY?

  56. For what its worth, i love this site!! I have read many of the comments and find a general consensis among them which I do relate with. I feel compelled at this point to make a further comment concerning my past. I am not anyone special, nor more special then any of you.

    My awakening in this incarnation came at the age of 13, I am now 73. My awakening came as a result of a N.D.E.. During this NDE, I was taken to my home universe, which was many universes from this one. I was taken to stand before my council, where I was given instructions for this lifetime. My council was made up of 17 members.

    I have incarnated on many planets from the very beginnings of this universe. Some of which have been war torn and battle scared and destroyed.

    On earth I have incarnated periodically since humanities beginnings, as one who inspired ascention. In this particular life, my purpose here is not as all yours to heal humanity and the planet, but to observe! Observe as a school teacher would by marking the exams of the class!!

    We as a general consensis are all weary, its been a long ride… It is soon time for a class to graduate, not all will pass!!

  57. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you
    wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with
    a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog.
    A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

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