I sing this song I made up – Everything is coming up Roses and Rainbows for me – along with “don’t worry be happy”. It comes in handy when I go to touch a cabinet door and BAM it falls off, crashing to the floor or when I go to vacuum the floor and smell very hot dirt and notice smoke emitting from the side. Both I experienced today.
It’s ok – I have PLENTY OF MONEY for this.
That I am needing to SAVE and not spend on things like this. Are there replacements? No – the vacuum is too old. Only in this matrix can something so small as a burned-up vacuum can put a dent in your moment.
A mix of sarcasm/anger and laughter. The Universe made me as I am combined w/this matrix b.s. – if I can send out mix signals from this lately very over-tired/fed the hell up with 3d b.s. that could all just go away with full truth and financial abundance which who the hell knows WHY it’s being held up at this point when so many of us are now publicly DEMANDING this help we all needed weeks months yesterday years ago – so I tell the Universe – keep up – I’m an ever-changing Being these days – on the other side I am calm and happy and silly again. So Universe knows to say YES to Her and ignore my “are you f’ing kidding me??!!” moments. 😄
I saw something today that I found so profound – I thought I would share it.
When I am in the presence of kindness, laughter, I SHINE. I’m not whiney or bitchy or a crying hot mess. I am calm. I can be safe to just let go and be ME – most importantly knowing that with that kindness is not going to have some loud voice suddenly, unexpectedly yelling at me or blaming or attacking without stopping to change the behavior or apologize. I cannot begin to express how much my body is now so absolutely done with that experience. I’ve had it with the excuses I’ve long heard. “They did their best” or “it really wasn’t that bad” or the “you’re TOO” fill in the blank.
No they didn’t.
Yes it was.
And no, I am NOT “too” ANYTHING but a female trying to make it in this world who didn’t have the protections she needed growing up which led to decades of poor choices and lack of self-confidence along with a dismissal of listening to my inner voice. And while yes it is obviously up to me to heal myself – let me tell you – having the ones who caused the harm approach me, own it and ask what they can do to help me heal from anything lingering would mean the absolute world to me. It’s what Love does.
P E R I O D.
I will ALWAYS be there for my girl – no matter how old she is – to help clean up any harm I caused her. Because it is NOT hers to carry alone. I speak those words to her.
I made the mess? It’s up to ME to help clean it up as best as I can.
💖
Victoria