I was having a dream when I woke up about an hour ago. My sleep has been so off; I seem to be sleeping more during the day and less at night. In the dream, I was in my car on a lightly traveled highway when a plane suddenly flew overhead. I could feel the pressure of it; it was that low, then it crashed. I didn’t really feel much fear – more of a “wow, I need to pull over” feeling. I got out of my car with my daughter and asked others who had also exited their vehicles if they were ok. When I woke up, I crawled out of bed, still feeling the experience, and wondered if a plane had crashed. I recalled thinking about Q speaking of planes, trains, and crashes. I went online and saw this:
I needed to verify and found this. Happened last night:
I’m also completely stumped – frozen to be honest – as to what to do next with my experience. With this lingering pressure to get something going for myself financially in the next few months, something I’ve been completely focused on for over a year, I’m at a loss atm. Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown – why is it that the things I pursue turn into a mess? From trying to get this website generating the income I had originally intended 10 years ago, to my other writing work marketed to finding remote work from home, to getting funding for educational training, I feel so out of options. I’m tired of this plan. I’m tired of housing being so f’ing out of reach. I’m tired of having to use credit cards just to get through the month. I’m tired of waiting for OUT THERE to shift so that will enable me to move forward. I’m tired of the division and the waiting and the fighting and the people who assume their POV is the right one while all failing to see we are in a huge, massive psyop, and none of us will figure it out in full until it’s all revealed. I mean, seriously – if there is a divine plan – WTF IS TAKING SO LONG? SOME of us NEED CHANGE. Some of us NEED RELIEF. For so long, we have needed it, and I am now seeing what this is doing to my health, to my sleep, to my mind. I can get into that nice space now and then, but that pressure within to DO SOMETHING YESTERDAY is growing and making my life hell. I go out driving alone lately – and sit in the car and cry – and scream: I HAVE A CHILD DOES ANYONE CARE??!!
I’m still trying to get some sort of restitution from the local agency that dropped the ball on me last year when the staff member (FINALLY) assigned to help me with a scholarship for educational training disappeared on me – for weeks – during the middle of the process – leaving me unable to do a thing as she was also supposed to give me additional paperwork required FOR the scholarship – and my attempts to reach her, her supervisor and the agency went unanswered. I was able to find notes I took during my original phone call with the agency manager last month, where she said they were looking at “all angles” in regard to what happened, including “staff oversight”. The manager’s original final decision said I did not get approved because there were others ahead of me. However, she cannot prove this with 100% accuracy and is completely ignoring the truth that her employee disappeared on me for weeks. IF THIS IS NOT PROOF OF STAFF OVERSIGHT, I don’t know what is. And I wasn’t even including the nearly TWO MONTHS it took for me to get someone working with me – the phone calls, emails, and texts were unanswered. If I had not been diligent, their lack of “staff oversight” would have left me without ANY help whatsoever.
Staff oversight: Staff oversight is the systematic process of supervising, monitoring, and directing employees to ensure work aligns with organizational goals, policies, and standards. It involves tracking performance, ensuring accountability, providing guidance, and identifying risks.
Doesn’t disappearing on a client in the middle of a time-sensitive process, without word from ANYONE, ignoring clients’ emails, texts, and phone calls fall under that process? Doesn’t all of that violate an agency’s goals, policies and standards?
And again – I am a lone voice – doing this alone. I have not been able to find anyone to help me with this situation, other than hearing of a few other people who had similar experiences, including a friend of mine. I have learned one thing – when you go up against a system agency, they are polite and helpful until you challenge them and their word. Even when you know you are in the right – even when you have their words and can prove them wrong – once they make an agency decision, your needs and your story are of no importance. Scatter to the wind like the rest of their victims. It’s quite horrid. And this is not my first go-around with systems. In this ugly reality, it is the big ones with the fancy titles and comfy jobs who can make your life easy or put you through hell, where you waste time you CANNOT AFFORD TO WASTE.
That said, I believe in Truth. In love. In doing the right thing even in the face of obvious wrong. I still have faith in good people.
I just need more of them showing up in my life, and I pray for that every. single. day.
My kiddo deserves to have a mom who is supported.
💖
Victoria
ZELLE: themamatrinity@gmail.com
CASHAPP: $VictoriaT1144
VENMO: @VT6610
