I am seeing through the illusions of the programs, codes, and lies I have been under. I have finally seen the systemic abuse, the mind spell I’ve been under for decades by people who were supposed to f’ing love me, be my safe space.
I am allowing myself to see what this has truly done to me, especially my brain.
People like me may look fine on the outside, but on the inside, our brains are often offline. In survival mode. Freeze mode. Executive functioning has been offline, which means it is very difficult to make decisions. I see this all now. Clearly. And my days of questioning myself and judging myself are coming to an end. People say to forgive your abusers.
Fuck that.
Forgive YOURSELF for being a decent human who fell for their programmed narratives about you, for they are lies. Abusers project their own behaviors onto their victims. Awakening 101 basics here. We see it all over this reality. Blame the victim. System types create toxic realities, then blame the victim if they can’t keep up or perform to “their” expectations (which are most ALWAYS impossible to do).
No different what happens out there in that toxic cesspool of systems than what happens behind closed doors in our personal lives.
They slowly lure you in, feeling as familiar and sweet as mama’s homemade apple pie. Using tools such as psychological manipulation. Break you down slowly, where you start to question yourself and your reality. Where you question your version of events. Maybe it really IS me, you begin to think. Maybe I really am the problem here.
So you give in.
You apologize when you don’t need to.
You listen to the litany of things you are accused of doing, of being.
And slowly you start to believe it all.
When things really turn for the worse is when you stop trusting your instincts. It’s like your intuition goes offline.
Surely people cannot be THAT blind? That horrible?
Or can they?
Yeah, they can.
And pretty soon that sweet apple pie is nothing but a pile of mud on a garbage can lid while claiming it’s a tasty pie.
Those song lyrics come to mind.
I was blind.
But now, I see.
And I’m f’ing pissed the hell off.
And I am learning to love myself, probably for the first time in my life tbh.
Trusting myself.
Putting together the pieces of that fragmented puzzle and SEEING the clues I missed.
So uh yeah, the Awakening continues, for me, being less about what’s going on “out there” and much more about what’s going on inside of me.
There’s no price tag for that.
For now, here’s some excellent information on the damage done to the brain by abuse. Some of you may appreciate and need this.
đź’–
Victoria
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Daniel Ryan Cotler
2 hours ago
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THE BRAIN DAMAGE NOBODY TALKS ABOUT
Psychological Abuse Causes Measurable Brain Damage. It’s Time to Prosecute It.
When someone physically assaults you, they can be charged with battery. When someone sexually assaults you, they can be charged with sexual assault. But when someone systematically abuses you psychologically for years, damaging your brain structure measurably and permanently, we call it “abuse” and often don’t prosecute at all.
This ends now.
The Neurological Battery: Measurable Brain Damage
Survivors of psychological abuse don’t just feel traumatized. Their brains are damaged in measurable, documentable ways.
Hippocampal Atrophy: The part of your brain responsible for memory, learning, and emotional regulation shrinks by up to twelve percent in abuse survivors. This causes the memory problems, learning difficulties, and emotional dysregulation you experience.
Amygdala Hyperactivation: The threat-detection center of your brain becomes overactive, making you hypervigilant, anxious, and prone to panic attacks even in safe situations.
Prefrontal Cortex Dysfunction: The part of your brain responsible for rational decision-making, planning, and executive function becomes impaired, explaining why you struggle with choices and forward planning.
Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation: Your nervous system gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode, keeping your body in constant stress response.
This Is Equivalent to Torture
Research shows that the neurological damage in psychological abuse survivors is indistinguishable from that documented in torture survivors and combat veterans.
Your psychological abuse caused torture-level brain damage.
And currently, we have no adequate legal framework to prosecute this as the serious crime it is.
Neurological Battery: A New Legal Category
In The Truth About Love-Bombing: Exposing Constructive Fraud of Intimacy, Daniel Ryan Cotler introduces Neurological Battery as a distinct crime: measurable brain damage inflicted through psychological abuse.
This category allows prosecutors to charge psychological abusers with battery (causing bodily injury) based on documented brain damage, just as if they had physically assaulted you.
Because they did. They assaulted your brain.
From Victim-Blaming to Accountability
Right now, survivors blame themselves for not recovering faster, not functioning better, not being “fixed” by therapy.
But you suffered measurable brain damage. Your slow recovery isn’t weakness. It’s evidence of the severity of the abuse.
Understanding that you have Neurological Battery, not just “trauma,” changes everything.
It changes how you view yourself. It changes how medical professionals treat you. It changes how prosecutors charge predators.
Available November 10th.
The Truth About Love-Bombing: Exposing Constructive Fraud of Intimacy — The book that makes prosecuting brain damage possible.
The voiceless are voiceless no more.
