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If a system requires you to pay to live, that system is ILLEGITIMATE. We were never meant to pay for our own existence. I’ve been saying this for decades. And I. am. tired. Who isn’t? All by design. We focus on the hustle to get money however we can to pay the bills that allow us to stay in our homes, keep warm or cool, and eat. Two days off (lucky if it’s back-to-back), where most of that “luxury” time is spent doing chores not yet done for the week. And if lucky, 2 weeks off each year to do whatever you want. When you are in hustle mode, you are keeping your nervous system in survival mode, which slowly drains you over time. You are not lazy – you are dysregulated (the title of my ebook I am working on). And the reason you are dysregulated is not that you are doing something wrong. It’s because you are a sensitive, Real Soul, Real Human who is in a reality that does not align with who you really are.

So we do the best we can.

But aren’t we tired of telling ourselves those words?

I know I sure am.

Lull day. Energetic. Maybe a rest day before this weekend and the Superb Owl? Who knows. Just feeling the lull today. Here’s what I’m seeing.

💖

Victoria

*********

And we still have people, largely on the right, saying “you can’t have free anything. That makes people lazy.” Bullshit. Adding in what I said above – when you make life EASY for people – you give them emotional/mental energetic abilities TO create. When you no longer have to worry about how you are going to feed your child, that frees you up energetically TO create in ways that serve purpose and passion. YOU ARE NOT LAZY YOU ARE DYSREGULATED. The lazy ones are those who have stolen from us. P E R I O D. Remember the words of HRC – Sec. of State at the Time in his “removal”: We came. We saw. He died. Filthy parasite she was.

3. Gaddafi promised not to buy a house for his parents until everyone in Libya owns a home.
4. All newlywed couples in Libya received 60,000 dinars from the government & because of that they bought their own apartments & started their families.
5. Education & medical treatment in Libya are free. Before Gaddafi there were only 25% readers, 83% during his reign
6. If Libyans wanted to live on a farm, they received free household appliances, seeds and livestock.
7. If they cannot receive treatment in Libya, the state would fund them $2300+ accommodation & travel for treatment abroad.
8. If you buy a car, the government finances 50% of the price.
9. The price of gasoline became $ 0.14 per liter.
10. Libya had no external debt, and reserves were $150 Billion (now frozen worldwide)
11. Since some Libyans can’t find jobs after school, the government will pay the average salary when they can’t find a job.
12. Part of oil sales in Libya are directly linked to the bank accounts of all citizens.
13. The mother who gave birth to the child will receive $5000
14. 40 loaves of bread cost $0.15.
15. 25% of Libyans had all Ilisna diplomas.
16. Gaddafi has implemented the world’s biggest irrigation project known as the “BIG MAN PROJECT” to ensure water availability in the desert.
    If this is called “DICTATORSHIP” I wonder what democracy is?

Those damn milk carton images were ads. 😭🤬

Ok putting this ANON theory to rest – Trump was not the first President (or only world stage leader) to engage in this Sword Dance:

Not dead.

Newly-Released Epstein Jail Video Logs Address Orange ‘Flash’ Moving Toward Epstein Jail Tier the Night He Died (VIDEO)

Big News. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons Opposes Gender Transition Surgeries for Individuals Under 19 Years of Age

Woops:

CBS News Pulls ’60 Minutes’ Episode After Contributor Appears in Epstein Files

The remark was made in response to a December 23rd email from parents demanding action by January 15th to address alleged DOJ inaction and misconduct. The email, described by insiders as a “desperate plea” for accountability, was instead interpreted by DOJ officials as a threat.

That label was directed at a group of conservative parents pushing
@TheJusticeDept
to investigate what they say is ongoing government weaponization against families, whistleblowers, and dissidents.

They were later warned not to go public or they would “suffer consequences.”

According to sources, following that meeting (which referenced an active investigation) DOJ officials blocked further action after removing
@EagleEdMartin
, former head of the DOJ’s Weaponization Group.

A White House source confirmed:
“Todd Blanche didn’t tell the White House he was removing Ed [Martin] from the Weaponization Group,” – despite
@POTUS
Trump personally appointing him.

Kelly Walker joined Emerald Robinson to expose what he called internal sabotage against conservative parents:

“This isn’t a threat, it’s reality. Angry parents will show up. We’ve begged DOJ and the Trump administration to act… Parents have taken their own lives.”

@RealFreedomTalk
also revealed DOJ leadership told him directly: “Don’t expect any justice from DOJ… You can sue if you want to.”

As Blanche faces mounting scrutiny, the deeper concern is this:
Biden-era holdovers and entrenched insiders are rotting the DOJ from the inside – sabotaging Trump’s agenda while hiding in plain sight.

I think the purpose of this is to push the KETO (protein-enriched) diet and reverse the carb/processed food heavy garbage we’ve had pushed on us. However, eyes on. How many on meds will suddenly go off and eat a burger, thinking they’re going to be cured?

https://www.livescience.com/space/the-moon/the-us-will-see-a-rare-blood-moon-eclipse-before-sunrise-this-march-where-and-when-to-look

Early risers along the West Coast and in Hawaii will have a good chance of viewing the entire sequence high in the sky. 

EST: 6:04-7:02 a.m. (Moonset will occur during this time.)

CST: 5:04-6:02 a.m.

MST: 4:04-5:02 a.m.

PST: 3:04-4:02 a.m

VENMO: @VT6610

CASHAPP: $VictoriaT1144

ZELLE: themamatrinity@gmail.com

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3.  I am also an affiliate for BlueHost.  If you or someone you know are interested in starting/creating a website and are in need of a hosting company, check out BlueHost. It’s who I use, and I have always found them very helpful from setup to assistance. Click on the previous link to get yourself set up!

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Greatawakening.win  

I don’t understand WTF is up.

Now people locally – in my own damn community- are flagging my buymeacoffee writings claiming “FUNDRAISER VIOLATION”.

My page is not a fundraiser, obviously.

Fundraisers are when people say “please give me money” and offer nothing in return.

I am offering a SERVICE. My writings. My music. My poems and photography. My creations. My f’ing heart and Soul.

And I am being denied the right to share that in my own community because people are wrongfully flagging my post (while allowing political posts, even though NEXTDOOR policy clearly states NO POLITICS unless locally focused).

If you see this and care – please – offer me something. A listening ear. SOMETHING. I am literally being cut out of my life and if things don’t shift “out there” – pushed out into the streets. This is breaking my heart. I SHARE my writings, my personal creations, and it’s one thing to see each post showing no coffees bought, but to be SILENCED? To be stopped from my right to DO this?

My faith in humanity is tapped.

You ready?

3.3 BILLION to is ra el:

Woops – there’s more for the parasites:

Then there was what was left out:

Now you understand why I’m so incensed. If I weren’t in need of help and services, if I had the money on my own to get myself training, if I had the $$ means to get into housing, I’d just look at this, roll my eyes and think one of two things: just another movie scene designed to rile up the masses (and it has worked) or just another day of bullshit in government. But I am not in that situation to just be ok with all of this. Not when there are BILLIONS still earmarked for non-citizens while I go without access to those services.

THIS IN SPADES.

I’ve lost about 20 followers on X today because of the things I am sharing. I love what she has to say. This system is toxic. It is not inclusive. And it punishes people who struggle to keep up with it. That is the sickening part to me. People aren’t lazy. Some simply carry the knowing how toxic this reality is – and those are the ones most often targeted and harmed – who walk alone. We are not the problem.

Trauma Aware America
·
It’s easy to think people are just stupid when they argue passionately in defense of billionaires and corporate power. Most of the time, they’re not billionaires themselves. They’re struggling with healthcare costs, stagnant wages, insecure housing, or mountains of debt. Yet they still say things like: “The rich earned it,” “You just want handouts,” “Nobody’s stopping you from becoming a millionaire,” or “Taxing wealth is theft.”
At first glance, this looks like pure delusion. But from an interpersonal neurobiology perspective, these responses are survival strategies.
The people defending billionaires here are doing it because it feels safer than the alternative.
If you’re struggling in a system that keeps failing you, it’s terrifying to admit that it might be rigged. (KEY) That would mean you’re vulnerable, unprotected, and your suffering isn’t entirely in your control. And in a culture where personal responsibility is a moral identity, admitting you don’t have control is deeply shame-inducing. It’s easier to believe the world is fair, that success is earned, and that anyone can make it if they just try harder. That belief helps people stay regulated. It helps them keep moving. It’s not rational, but protective.
There’s also a fantasy at play. If I might be rich someday, then criticizing the rich feels like criticizing my future self. This fantasy of upward mobility becomes part of personal identity, even when statistically it’s wildly unlikely. So people cling to it because giving it up feels like despair.
Then there’s the story we’ve been sold our whole lives. That billionaires are job creators. That they take the risks. That they built this country. That if we tax them too much, they’ll stop making cookies and the rest of us will starve. Never mind that workers make the cookies, that wealth has been hoarded not reinvested, or that massive inequality destroys trust and shared safety. The myth of billionaire virtue is everywhere. People absorb it through media, education, religion, and repetition. It becomes background noise that shapes their entire worldview.
And when someone challenges that worldview, it creates dissonance. That dissonance can feel physically uncomfortable. Defensiveness isn’t just mental—it’s bodily. From an IPNB lens, nervous systems under threat often default to rigid thinking, black-and-white logic, and scapegoating. So instead of being able to think relationally–seeing how our well-being is interconnected–people double down on hierarchy and blame.
That’s why you get so many arguments like these:
“I worked hard and succeeded, so others must be lazy if they didn’t.”
“Capitalism means profit. If you want the profit, start your own business.”
“Taxing wealth punishes success.”
“The poor are poor because they spend irresponsibly.”
“This country gives you freedom to succeed. Don’t be a victim.”
These arguments all share the same purpose: to protect a fragile sense of control, worth, and safety in a system that doesn’t offer much of any of those things. They reflect internalized shame, absorbed propaganda, and a lack of real-world comparison to systems that function differently. Most importantly, they reveal a nervous system trying to find coherence in a world that feels chaotic and unsafe.
The real conversation we need isn’t about whether billionaires deserve their wealth. It’s about what kind of society supports well-being for everyone. That starts with connection, fairness, mutual care, and a system designed to reduce, rather than exploit human stress.

Lastly, check this one out. My immediate thought was “that’s a young Barron”.

What did I say last night? EPSTEIN ISLAND IS A HONEYPOT. (this guy is not yet considering that possibility)

I was going to do a video on this, but I’m a wreck atm and not really into letting the world see me this way. So a typed version it is.

I woke up this morning hearing that song, “Love is in the air”. A nice message to receive, considering most mornings I wake up burned out, feeling as though I received absolutely no rest, waking up in a state of terror, wondering how the hell I am going to get myself out of my current situation.

I get online, and the first thing I see is a video from citizen journalist Kevin Dalgren. He’s filming outside of a tunnel that looks to be under an overpass or similar. Inside that dark hole, you can hear the cries and rages of a man who lives there and has for years. It was horrifying to hear.

But I get it.

I wonder how many other people do, though. Or take the time TO “get it”.

That guy didn’t just crawl on there on a whim. He didn’t just go from being functional and healthy to living in a damn concrete tunnel overnight.

He likely got there like so many other souls – years of neglect. Agencies incapable or unwilling to help. Tons of trauma carried in the body, not dealt with properly. Probably passed around from person to person, with very few, if any actually capable of looking him in the eyes and seeing the pain and potential.

And this is the reality for millions.

Fucking MILLIONS.

How many times did he ask for help?

How many in his life just watched him suffer and fade away?

I know for me personally, I have hit the limit on being told “I will be there for you” and not. receiving. that. I literally cannot take one. more. disappointment. I would almost kill for someone I know in my physical proximity show up with a hug. And just f’ing hold me and tell me I will be ok – we will figure out a way.

Here in America, today, the parasites in Congress, in yet another White Hat move, have passed a budget to keep this criminal government going. And guess what was included in that budget? BILLIONS for Israel. BILLIONS for refugees and immigrants.

That last part triggered me. BIG. TIME. Movie or not. I don’t care. I f’ing lost it.

This movie isn’t funny for me these days.

Not when it is INTENTIONALLY causing me and my daughter harm.

For you see, if mom is not well supported and loved, the child will struggle as well.

And this movie and these white hat military people are ALLOWING people not from my country to continue to come here and take resources that people like I NEED.

Not just want – but fucking NEED.

Me and countless others.

But I am focused on myself right now, as that is all the energy I have left TO focus on. I tried telling that to a certain other person today, and it was implied that I was selfish. You know the old “you’re not the only one I hate to tell you that” as though I’m not seeing. OBVIOUSLY I KNOW THIS.

Why do people do this?

It’s insulting. It’s painful. And it’s toxic as fuch.

A person can only go so long in the situation I am in and be told “no” so many times before they break down.

And that is exactly what is happening to me.

Nothing I do is providing me the lasting comfort I need. Last night it was picking up a 4 pack of homemade cookies from the local cooperative, sitting in a park, crying and eating two of them. Very temporary relief – if you can call it relief.

I NEED HELP AND I NEED. IT. NOW.

Is anyone coming here reading my words or am I just crying into an empty room?

Why can’t everyone who comes here show you care even a little bit about me – or wait – forget caring about me – care about my daughter – share my work!

Contribute $5/month.

Tell my story.

(clearly this is not a message to those of you who do support my work)

Jesus people – if I end up living out in the streets, I won’t make it. I have too much trauma in me already I am trying to release with a counselor who misses 1/4 of our sessions and who I have YET to get her to listen to me when I say “My mind wanders and I lose focus. I need YOU to help me stick to the plan of treatment.” Ok, she says, but has failed. Finding a new person who takes my insurance and is taking clients has been a nightmare search. I am screaming for my right to survive at this point. I’d like to thrive as that is my right – but at this point, it’s just about surviving.

Don’t let me become like that man inside the tunnel.

🙏

Victoria