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It’s 4:44pm as I begin this one…  Today as I have gone about my stuff (or doing’s as I sometimes say) – I have wondered “what now”?  What do I do now?  From here until that moment we feel/see coming, what do I do?

Going onward, I am also pondering how this will transpire.  Many questions I am exploring.  Do we stay in these vessels?  Do some stay in their current vessel while some go on to new (REAL) human vessels?

Does it happen in an instant?

How much of our memory of this do we retain?  I would think that would be a choice given the whole freedom thing.

And what about those around us?  I don’t “see” most people around me staying in my experience.  Do they forget about us?  If not, they would question “hey where did these people go?”

The trolls keep on a’trollin….I don’t even know if they are anything more than AI at this point.  There was one who did the usual low-vibe/fear-based attack towards something I said on a forum.  Completely unnecessary. Completely unhelpful.  At first I thought hey, not cool.  Why you doing that?  Then I saw them saying the same words to others who hold the same or similar mind-set as do I.

They do because they can.  Here that is.

I was feeling that one heavily last night.  I was lamenting to my mate and giving him a visual.  I have seen myself as this Being who just wants to play in my sandbox – make whatever creations I want in that box – and be left alone to Be.  If someone else is nearby doing the same, have at it.  Have fun.  Just stay OUT of my box, you know?  And my experience in this particular cycle has been full of big ‘ole poops who come into my box without asking and throw their sand in my space, on my body, etc. (metaphorically speaking here of course)

Who does that?

As I lamented to brother Rick awhile ago (I’m into using this term today apparently), “robots, robots everywhere.”  My girl and I were out on a walk. Most everyone around here knows my girl has dog trauma after the numerous attacks she and I went through all last year.  It was unreal.  So today, being it’s a beautiful day, we went for a walk around the ‘hood.  We arrive at a housing area where there were 3 people we knew – and all 3 had dogs.  Two of the dogs were getting out of control.  As I approached the group of people to say “hello” one of the dogs went full on nutso – lunging towards one of the other dogs (who was more or less sitting there observing).  I was suddenly in between these two dogs – and not one of the adults seemed to notice what was going on for they let the dogs continue w/their posturing while they gabbed away.  My girl had by now taken off, understandably, so I announced I was “out of this land of insane stupidity” and walked away. Not very loving but in that moment I wasn’t feeling the “love for all” but instead the “you all know my girl has dog issues and you let this situation happen?  DO YOU NOT THINK?”  I located my girl and we headed home.  She even commented on how “invisible” we seemed to be.

Invisible, yes.  A life long experience for me – one that has indeed grown the more I awaken and question.

We also heard of a situation here with the local school.  Apparently there was a mix-up with a bus or some such thing and frightened children came home quite late – no word from the school.  My girl witnessed one of her friends get off the school bus, in tears.

We see the breaking down of ALL continue.  And yet I wonder – if there IS going to be some split – will the ALL really break down?  The questions of what’s going on and how it will all manifest continue….

Aside from my little girl here inside these walls, my saving grace is music. Home continues to speak to me through music.  As I drove home I suddenly recalled the dream I had of Michael Jackson 2 nights ago.  As I thought that I turn on the radio and there’s a Michael Jackson song on the radio.  Not one of my favorites so I turn to another station.  Yep.  Another MJ song was playing.  My mate gets into the car an hour later, turns on the radio and there’s another MJ song playing.  Earlier today I was drawn again to look at the television music station.  Below are the captures.

Physically, I continue to have facial tics.  The fatigue from yesterday is gone. I have been awakening with left foot pain.  Just the left.  Mate too.  No explanation (for me that is).  For him –  he broke his left foot so that could explain the experience from his perspective.  It COULD be the “empathic illness” experience that I realize I may very well allow myself to experience. I cancel that program!

One last insight.  I awoke with the thought “50 ways to leave the matrix” (parody of “50 ways to leave your lover”).

Awaken your brain, Jane.

Question the game, Blaine.

ou don’t need to be in fear, Dear….just get yourself free.

Step on the Q train….you don’t need to explain yourself…

Just go in your heart space and get yourself Free.

And so it is.

Love,

Victoria

******

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i am reflecting on the programming i continue to see.  it is so intentional and as i keep seeing, effective.  i feel those who are so deep in it really haven’t a conscious concept of the program.  i have seen far too many people in my life whom i care about all but come unglued – and quickly – at the mention of the word “trump”.  the programming is so deep they aren’t even conscious of their sudden outburst – of their trigger.  is he in the room?  has he done anything to them personally?  i can understand having dislike for a political figure.  but what we see today is over the top.

i have made the choice that i will no longer engage in any political speak with one who holds the “disdain” energy.  i will no longer attempt to share sources of mine – even if asked.  i have done that numerous times and have yet had someone actually take appropriate time to do effective reading/researching.  so….the hand-holding is over.  i had no one hold my hand.  i simply searched because within my inner self guided me to do so.

i came into this realm questioning everything i was told and experienced. some people don’t.  i ask “why?”  what makes it possible for some to question and others either have no interest at all in knowing the truth (i have people in my life like that) or will be open to exploring only a little bit here and there – just not too far outside of the main narratives.  it has to be programming.  expand too far and the programming pulls one back to the story of lies – just like a rubber-band.  unless you have the tenacity and the drive and come from your heart and care MORE for the Truth than you do about what others think of you – you remain stuck in the program(s).  today as i reflect on this i also am feeling some sadness as well as a knowing that to expand the grand awakening, at this point, for the masses, it is going to take a HUGE event that they both experience within and that they SEE – an experience that is UNDENIABLE and over-rides ANY and ALL programs.

The Solar Flash Event.  that is what is going to “save” every one of us in its own way.  accompanied by the truth of ALL that has been hidden to be felt and SEEN.

people i read in certain groups are afraid the truth will get squashed – but i know there is sooooo much more going on than we see.  it is truly a multi-level/cosmic/dimensional exposure and cleaning up.  ALL WILL SEE.  here in this realm or outside.

moving on….lol

i just learned the schumann spiked for 24 hours total.  no coincidence there. a sneak preview of what’s to come?  i would love to fly in more of those bubbles of bliss.  never seen anything like what i saw yesterday – and would love to have more of the same.

i was also contemplating mental “illness” today.  i remember reading in my 20’s one of M. Scott Peck’s books – pretty sure it was in The Road Less Traveled (my first awakening book) – where he said addictions were a spiritual crisis.  connection with Source was not being felt/experienced so the person substitutes that connection with drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.  spiritual crisis.  i feel spiritual crisis is also behind most of these mental “illnesses” psychiatrists, psychologists and others in the field like to label.  the majority of us have some sort of mental angst – depression, anxiety, panic, disassociation, etc.  pretty guaranteed – comes w/the experience of being in this experience.

how can we define illness?  for me any illness is something out of alignment.  and we know this entire realm was designed to keep us out of alignment – with Source.  with our True Selves.  with Love.  Truth.

and now i pause – i don’t feel i need to go further with this.  this is matrix 101 stuff.  the basics.  we may not know exactly (yet) where we are – but we know what we are experiencing here – what we have been experiencing.  we know the agenda.

and we know the agenda is crumbling.  it is ending.

we are awakening.  and we are exiting.

the solar flash is what fully awakens every one of us.  awakens as in we get released from all controls.  what else will do it?  the programming as i said above is so locked in with some it is going to take that something HUGE to pull all up and out.  ascension = release from bondage.  and i feel – this time i am feeling at a deeper level than i have in the past – i feel it is coming.  very very soon.  very very very soon.

i did forget to mention physical symptoms i’ve been having lately in lisa harrison’s outline last night…..hands not working so well…..cells shaking especially in my legs – then my legs getting really tight – the muscles (that happens after i’ve gone to bed)…..feeling unbelievably COLD as in BONE cold to then really warm (within maybe an hour or less)….i have literally stood in the shower a few times with the water blasted on hot – shivering……unable to heat up my body……lately it’s been my eyes – sudden blurry vision like something is in them but i don’t feel anything so i rub my eyes and blink a few times….and the sleep patterns…..and the heart blips….and this feeling like i’m frigging autistic – overwhelmed so easily….thriving in quiet environments….and this growing energy within feeling like i could run for miles – that restlessness feeling that has returned…..i read some say they are feeling a bit manic – good word lately….appetite?  it waxes and wanes in some extremes now….eating much more fruit and am into eating a lot of greens now too (after having no interest in greens for a time)….not so much meat as in previous days….smoothies….kambucha has become a staple…dark chocolate and an occasional sweet treat like a cookie or donut….so you can see some supposed “taboo’s” but i put more trust in my body speak than i do in the food nazi’s.

i will close this one up by saying i feel each of us are rather pulling back in our shells now….not to hide but to reflect – rest – perhaps even prepare….just a feeling i am having about the collective experience.  of course this could also be my own projecting – but i am both sensing and seeing this in others who are anticipating our full awakening and exit.

love,

victoria

******

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After yesterday’s noticeable shift “up” – expansive feelings – I went to bed last night feeling well.  But then I felt something – felt pulled back and old stuff began to come up.  Not doing this, I thought as I did deep breathing and went to sleep.

I had a dream.  I was leaving a restaurant – a tiny little Italian type – with my mate.  Or what looked like my mate.  I say that because suddenly he began to run and only said “run” to me.  He didn’t stop to see if I was following and he didn’t grab my hand and pull me along – which is what the REAL him would do if faced with any sort of danger.  At first I just observed and almost laughed.  Why was he running?  And in circles too?  There was nothing to fear, I said.  He then pointed at a woman driving a truck – traveling slowly past us – obviously looking for something/someone.  Ah, I thought.  Maybe that’s what he’s running from.  I began to follow him then and hid behind some trash cans.  It was then that I saw another vehicle – a dirty van – pull up, stop and a load of men piled out carrying guns.  Traffickers, I thought – after their food source – humans.  I realized I couldn’t out run them so I decided to confront them.  I stood up and one of them walked over to me holding a gun.  I looked at the gun and realized “that damn thing it just a child’s cap gun”.  I  knew it couldn’t hurt me so I did what NO ONE is supposed to do if faced with having to grab a gun – I grabbed it by the barrel and as I did, the barrel flopped down and I saw nothing but a roll of caps.  I eyed the gun holder who just stood there with a “woops what do I do now” look and behind him, saw other men who had large shot guns.  As I looked at them I said “you’re going to have to kill me then because I am not going with you.”  I then took off running – up a small hill – and into a fairly big street.  I saw cars off to the distance and was able to get them to come my way immediately.  I flagged them down – standing right in the middle of the road.  Several stopped and as I began to explain what had happened, the dream ended.  As it did, I saw one of the males with a gun in the background of the people – trying to blend in.

I woke up and my first thought was DAMN they are at it again with their injection of low vibe crap.  I felt no fear – just anger.  That righteous “NO” kind of anger.  NOT.  ON.  MY.  TIMELINE.  NOT.  IN.  MY.  EXPERIENCE.

Then I saw the schumann and saw that solid black line:

So I explored this one further.  Felt into it.  What can I do to end my participation in such experiences?  KNOW it is ALL AN ILLUSION.  That message was so profound – and deep – and saturated my entire being with this calm absolute knowing.

I don’t need to participate in any such dreams.  It started out with me just observing and knowing there was nothing to fear.  But I let myself get drawn in – a moment of weakness – and they used someone who looked like my mate to get to me.  I let that diversion impact me so that I continued to let myself play in their little movie.

It’s all a movie.  And I do not have to participate in any “role” in which I do not wish.

So as I took on this new approach, I got into my water portal and felt “get ready vicki” and heard the song by Rod Stewart and Jeff Beck (well their version of it): “People Get Ready”…

People get ready
There’s a train a-coming
You don’t need no baggage
You just get on board
All you need is faith
To hear the diesels humming
Don’t need no ticket
You just thank Source of all (I added the source of all)

I then heard “Love Train” where everyone gets on board.  No money needed. Just bring your Love.  It reminded me of the dream I had late last fall where I was standing in front of a seemingly never-ending train – happily – pure contentment.  People were happy.  It was time.  I had chosen that timeline (while I watched a variety of others head downhill into a large library for more 3D like experience and then walked away to board the train).

If this really is a simulation and this really is a movie we DO have power. Feed LOVE to fear.  Object to any and all that seeks to harm.  Remain solid in Who You Are.  Who You KNOW you are.  Until I get access to codes to bring down this low frequency false all grid, that’s all I have to pass along today. I’m getting ready – as I heard and as I feel.

Love,

Victoria

 

******

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I deeply need for this whatever it is that’s taking place to wrap up.  This quest for freedom.  Feels to me when we assert our boundaries further whether seen or unseen, those seeking to continue control amp it up for another swipe.  I felt this energetically this morning….then saw it when I received my insurance and water bills – both of them jumping up – quite significantly.  Water bill jumped up 3% in one area, 15% in another and over 4% in another (they add on all sorts of ridiculous taxes which they call “fees” so the city can get away with it and one of those taxes is to fix our roads which we have been paying on that for about 12 years and the roads are worse than ever).  Insurance bill jumped up too.  Every damn 6 months it does – corporate increases which they pass on to me.

I drove around once again going within to find some peace and answers.  I don’t know where else to “go” and even if I did I don’t have that kind of money to get there.  Today’s rental prices – everywhere I look – are insane – literally – insane.  Then take into consideration first, last and deposit. Hence, the growing homeless population.

So I found no peace nor did I find answers in my drive.  I did hear Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” come onto the radio and said “nope – I will not go numb nor will I listen to this music any longer that was created by people who sold out” which stinks as I love their music.

How long can this unsustainable b.s. continue?  The homeless need to unite and fight back.  The poor.  Those most victimized – UNITE.  Around here people are too pacified.  They approve every tax increase, speak out of their overly-educated minds somehow forgetting their HueManity.  Our city council is horrid and yet the people continue to vote in the same idiots who waste money solve nothing of substance and feed the mouth of the big university system.

Anyway….today was just an energetic day of blah and getting nailed again by “da man” for more $$ out of my pocket pushed on me far too hard.  How am I to EVER get ahead?! How am I to actually heal my body with the things I wish to do when something “out there” (da man) comes along and says “Not so fast.  I’ll take that money there missy for my already over inflated budget and bank account”.

I am upset over this.  I am done with it and I keep saying this.  I create my own reality?  REALLY?  IN WHAT WAY?  I’m done with this “control your reaction” nonsense.  What does that do to eliminate any of the unnecessary suffering imposed by the system of control and pay to live?  It makes for a complacent, always allowing society who sit back and watches the theft continue.  That is not who i am OR Who I Am.

Perhaps an area with yellow vest peeps is where I need to “go”.  Some answers…..open door….SOMETHING pretty awesome to help me in moving “forward”.  The “no’s” have had their way long enough in my life.

Love,

Victoria

 

 

I’ve continued to reflect on the moon and its influence on us.  Its purpose. This simulated object is not something that serves us – we serve it (when we give it energy especially our focused energy).  I am going to say something that both repels people from my site but also brings in readers who say things to me like “YES!  I thought I was the only one.”

This latest mass meditation on the full moon and the eclipse was to give that object more energy.  It had nothing to do with freeing us.  Why do I feel this?  Because we have had so many full moon meditations to release us from this prison and from our past, we should have been free of it all by now. I know the concept of where we are and who we are and how to be free are more complex than that.  I continue to ponder this situation seeking answers from within.

Full Moons create anxiety and for some, manic behavior.  Chaos.  Energies zapping us to “purge” what is within.  A totally unpleasant experience.  Why is that?  If the moon is our friend, shouldn’t the full moon bring us lasting peace? Lasting liberation?  And even at that, what IS a “full” moon?  It only appears full, crescent, etc. to our eyes.  I don’t visit my friends to bring them discomfort. My intent is to bring joy, companionship, support.  That is what LOVE DOES.

It’s been said (and in which I agree – or at least I can find no reason not to see truth) that the moon has been used as the reincarnation trap.  We leave our bodies.  We get “sucked” towards the moon (the white light) – we get our experiences wiped then we get tossed back in to a new body for another lovely new experience.

So I was thinking of how I felt the past couple of days with the full moon (and the eclipse).  HORRIBLE emotionally.  Mentally.  I felt a lot of agitation.  Argumentative.  Easily triggered.  I pulled myself out of this last night and said “this is NOT who I AM”.  I felt we were bombarded with frequencies from that thing and just like this matrix energy system, if we give the moon (or whatever fake object they have planted here) focus and support without question, some get a reward.  Like a token in a game.  Or a rat in a cage gets its cheese when it does what its masters want him to.  I don’t like saying this but for now this is how I am seeing this 3d experience.

I have noticed for myself in the past when I would give my feminine energies of honor and love to the moon, I would feel blessed.  Serene.  And yet now I have noticed when I have questioned all of that and no longer participate in full moon ceremonies, I feel yuck.  Coincidence?

If the moon were truly supportive, this would not have been my experience. Such a consciousness would seek to gently and lovingly guide one back to join in and focus w/It.  Right?

I am wondering as well if the moon keeps those energies of past experiences alive within us.  I could be absolutely wrong on this one but again, this is how I am seeing this and feeling this.  It has energy cords (invisible…or perhaps visible to certain eyes as well)…attached to us.  Each of us, unique “codes”. When the call for another “purge” is sent out, those of us most in tune with the experience of purging feel the old stuff come up.  We cry all over again. Release.  Forgive.  And aaahhh we move on.  Ignore it (as I have been doing) – and the “pounding” within to stir things up feels, for me that is, even more intense.

Only to repeat all over again.

My question:  How many “times” does one need to “purge” in order to be free of past pain?

Perhaps I am being guided to dig deeper and really feel that every thing that creates pain and fear in this realm is an illusion.

I did an experiment this morning – totally without my ego mind or human brain involved.  This came from within.  I had an experience that often leaves me weeping – longing for home, the old real ways I once experienced – that sort of weeping.  Only this time I felt that Me within and “out there” guide me to just feel the love of the experience instead of just focusing on the energy of longing.  The experience that normally left me weeping had me feeling so happy and serene I giggled like a child.  It.  Was.  AWESOME!

Later on as I shared it with my mate, I felt a pull on my body to go back to the energy of longing and I could literally feel my energy SINKING and being sucked in – as in quick sand.  NO.  I immediately put a stop to that and said “NO” and was able to let it go.  For the most part.  Later on in the shower I had a crying experience and then made myself stop.  No, I said.  I’ve already cried over this.  I WILL NOT ENGAGE IN DOING THIS.

Stop feeding what the machine wants – it has to wither away.

While I am not exactly sure HOW we all actually literally get out of here and change this realm over into what so many of us have seen, experienced, longed for – I do feel our days of doing all of these purging things can be over if we simply refuse to feed the code within us that, again just feeling this – this code that says “keep the purging going continuously until…..”.

Doesn’t such energies feed the matrix machine?

I feel it does.

Think of it this way.  We know this realm and the systems that are a part of it are designed to keep us afraid.  Traumatized.  Focused away from love and the like.

And yet, again, like I don’t know exactly HOW we “get out” (lots of theories I have shared here – I align and continue to align most w/Lisa Harrison and Yellow Rose) – I have this quiet feeling within I don’t need to participate any longer in my experiences of purging and feeling things and experiences that DO NOT BRING ME LOVE and JOY.  And that brings up the part of addiction and how I also feel many of not most or all of us have a level of addiction w/in us that keeps us stuck in the past.  More on that perhaps at another “time”.

So while perhaps I may still be a part of this matrix system – for now – I can at least take another step in my refusal to participate IN it.  Maybe it can be and is as simple as saying “No been down that road” (just like in The Matrix Movie) – then giving any resistance Love and Forgiveness.

Does this make sense?

And one last word – on the mechanics of “how” to break free from an energy net – matrix grid:  We need a Spiritual MacGyver.

Any volunteers?  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

Love,

Victoria

******

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after a much needed purge listening to the wonderful classic country (still have it going, btw)….i was brought back again to the memories of my grandparents house.  i was suddenly angry that i don’t have that family any longer.  it isn’t fair they died.  this went beyond anger.  beyond ego.  it went deep into the knowing – once again – that we were never originally created to die so young.  to get sick so easily.

we’ve been so fucking robbed here.

after processing all of that, i went to the year 2012.  the year of “so much stuff”.  it was the year we were forced out of our previous home.  during the holiday’s (late 2011/early 2012).  very stressful which goes without saying. we had to surrender our dog to a rescue organization as this no-pets-policy-home was the only one available to rent during that time of year.  our girl was a year old.  our choice – take the home and have a place to live or keep going and live in a shelter – where we would still have to surrender our dog.  the choice was obvious – but painful as crap.  this realm puts us in situations far too often where our choices are limited, hampered and cause unnecessary harm.  all because of another’s damn rule.

2 months later my mate had to have surgery and a week before his surgery, my grandma died.  i don’t know how i dealt with this – obviously not fully. within weeks following his surgery, his health began to deteriorate – he lost weight – he was weakening.  so many doctor visits.  and yet finally a real diagnosis and things looked up in that regard.  new doctor.  new treatment protocol.  during this time, however, sadly 2 friends of ours died.  WTF life, i remember thinking.  just STOP already with this shit.

and yet…..throughout all of this intense roller coaster riding, i began seeing things about 2012 and the prophecies and new earth.  new earth?  what was that, i wondered – intrigued.  maybe the dreams of a new world we had had years ago meant something after all.  the whole 2012 search, however, had to remain on the back burner though given the complexities of that year.

so 2012 began with a series of changes that left me feeling “am i coming am i going can i rest now?”  THE year that so many were so focused on much in the way i am now.  bringing in the new.  (bringing it in – not really.  at this point i am COMMANDING that into my experience.)  acclimating to energies.  etc. etc. and here i was, completely absorbed, out of necessity, in 3D living and doing’s.  death.  disease.  caring for a baby and my mate. moving/unpacking and all that goes on with that.  i kinda laugh at that now given who i am and who i had been until that time.  very focused on all issues of spirit.  conspiracies. and THE year that was alleged to be the pivotal for all of that “stuff” – and i was involved in none of it.  at least i have a good sense of irony and humor around it (well….when the best within has been soothed that is – ha).

and yet there is that underlying sense of “it’s not fair”.  this realm isn’t fair to any of us.  obviously.  deception at every corner and enslavement create that inner state and knowing.  it’s understandable.  i’m the type if you want to express such words (and i am not too already overwhelmed myself at the time), i call you over and say sit by me and let it out.  i get it.

i reflect on how much control i play in this experience.  with so many of us saying “what the frig is taking so long?  i am DONE here.” heck, even people who aren’t into new earth are telling me the same.  as one recently said, they were so ready for a new chapter to this book.  the fatigue is in all of us – whether we are conscious of it or not.  i see it in people’s eyes often these days.

ready for a new chapter.

yes we are.  a new chapter on which to write and create.  and my chapter includes the story that includes families who stay together.  where there is no illness (or at least if one crops up it’s cured easily).  we live as LONG AS WE CHOOSE to live in these physical bodies.  there is no poverty. no homelessness.  no hunger.  no god damn awful horrible suffering – the kind that is created when others hold the illusion they can power over others.

that is a chapter i am ready to slam shut.

happy writing in the NEW.

love,

victoria

******

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