there is something happening…..i don’t know what it is anymore.
i once thought i did.
but not now.
i do not align with this holiday for a few reasons i’ve already shared – both the religious slant and the bunny tales. and yet mostly because it brings up old memories leaving me feel lonely. or sad. or simply wanting a brand new experience in a brand new world that feeeeeeels like Home to my heart.
i went on a walk to get out and clear my mind. i heard people celebrating in the distance on my walk. i used to have that. connections. family. friends. in the physical daily i should say. until i “woke up”.
i have never experienced a mental fatigue like this – nor this ache in my heart. this emptiness which is making me want to jump out of my skin every single day. leaving me like a bipolar wreck. one day i’m up – at least feeling that hope and motivation – then whatever part of me within – that old nervous system program says NOOOO to change and i feel myself weakening – especially after yet another night of little sleep. all i got is to tell myself i’m safe as much as long as it takes – even if i don’t feel it atm – and be alone.
is this what a mental breakdown is?
or that moment before you Shift (bigly)?
anyone?
here are some finds. thank you for supporting my work. end of the month financial food blues has kicked in. seriously – my kiddo is eating a lot because she’s at that peak growing time during her early teen years – so every dollar helps me greatly. thank you!
love,
victoria
Really? 4:20 time ON 4/20?
NASA’s oldest active astronaut returns to Earth on 70th birthday – Insider Paper
Interesting spelling of Easter by Senate President Grassley… pic.twitter.com/NXgkyq5oFn
— War Correspondent (@warDaniel47) April 20, 2025
is this a marker for the pope having a bad may?
Pope briefly meets US Vice President JD Vance: Vatican – Insider Paper
Alien Reptilian Legacy | Reptilians Living On Earth Documentary
As one of you’s said today – if you can’t actually go TO this new earth realm yet – at least look at the pretty pictures that represent it:
I imagine an abandoned cabin at the end of this trail……..stocked with chopped firewood and supplies……….
— out of context dogs (@contextdogs) April 20, 2025
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