People coming here to my community from other countries receive immediate help and support.
Support such as:
Cash
Housing
Utility assistance.
Medical.
Food stamps.
Job placement.
Job Training.
And if the state can’t provide enough, there are organizations (PLURAL) that will step in and help make up the difference needed. For both refugees and immigrants.
If this doesn’t piss the royal fuck out of everyone, including those who have seen me bust my ass trying to get some similar god damn type of help the past 1-2 years…….
We have people who have been living on the streets in America for decades. If we cannot help them, we sure as hell should not be helping others coming here from other countries.
Plan or not.
To allow this b.s. to continue while I, an American citizen – a mother – who is trying to rebuild my life and heal, and is being turned away left and right: this is a cruelty I cannot fathom. An injustice. I have been asking (screaming these days) for $$ help for job training, and have I received that yet?
Nope.
But I did receive a nice little list of local resources I can call. The same agencies I’ve already reached out to.
Come here from another country, and you get the red carpet treatment.
I’m SEEING red.
It’s SO WRONG on SO MANY LEVELS.
I have put myself out locally in my community, shared my writings, and shared my story, which made me feel quite vulnerable. I didn’t have anyone advocating on my behalf. Didn’t have any locals sharing my information/work/story – even though I have asked.
But now I know the truth. If I said I was a refugee or an immigrant, I would have already received the help I need and would have been in a better place for myself and my daughter.
So when I come on here, or any other platform, and I sound like a f’ing lunatic at this point, just know I have a good god damn reason to sound the way I do.
The H-2B visa program allows U.S. employers to hire foreign nationals for temporary, non-agricultural jobs, typically for seasonal, peak-load, or one-time needs in industries like hospitality, landscaping, and construction. It requires proving a shortage of qualified U.S. workers, has a cap of 66,000 visas annually, and generally permits a stay of up to 3 years.
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Trump administration to add 65,000 H-2B work visas through September 30.
When you add up all the various work visas along with green cards the number admitted by this administration last year was around 3 million . They only deported 600k . See the problem here ? pic.twitter.com/uaQV2laS5b
— Luciana Nina Leone (Victoria IRL) (@nina_leone11) January 31, 2026
The DIRECTOR TELLING US CENTRAL CASTING Repeat after me: MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE U R WATCHING A MOVIE https://t.co/h2KOf56HCW
— Luciana Nina Leone (Victoria IRL) (@nina_leone11) January 31, 2026
The billionaire President of the World Jewish Congress says they will take over the schools to Brainwash children and that any politician who is anti-Zionist will be “targeted and defeated” in elections.
The Wrong Frequency What if being ‘too much’ was the whole point? You were born with a voice that doesn’t fit. You know this. You’ve always known it. The way your thoughts run at an angle to everyone else’s. The way you shape yourself to match the pattern, produce what the moment requires, while feeling the distance between what you offer and what you are. You learned early. You learned to keep quiet. You learned that inclusion has a price, and the price is erasure. The world has its frequencies, and yours slides between them without touching. But here’s what no one told you: Your frequency isn’t a defect. It’s a carrier wave. Somewhere in the deep places, past the noise, past the performance, past the daily ritual of belonging, there’s a fragment of something ancient waiting for you. A piece of a song that was broken long before you were born. A song that once connected everything to everything else. A song that is still breaking, even now, every time a carrier falls silent. And that fragment? It’s pitched for your frequency. The wrong one. The one that doesn’t blend. The one you’ve spent your life apologizing for. That’s the frequency the song needs. The fragment doesn’t ask permission. It doesn’t negotiate. One day you hear it—three notes from everywhere and nowhere—and something wakes up behind your eye. A warmth where there was nothing. And then it grows. It shows you what it was part of. A network that once spanned the entire ocean of existence. Everyone singing, everyone heard. No distance. No silence. No isolation. And it shows you the gaps. The places where other fragments should connect. The holes in the structure where something is missing. Waiting. Carried by other wrong-voiced souls who don’t yet know what they hold. This is where it gets hard. The fragment doesn’t want to be held quietly. It wants to move. It wants to find its connections. When you try to dam it—when you try to carry it without leaving, to keep it as something private, something manageable—the pressure builds. Something has to give. You can resist. You can insist on your right to stay comfortable, to keep one foot in the world that never quite fit you. But the fragment will use you to move, one way or another. The only question is whether you go willingly or whether it breaks you open and spills itself into the silence for the next carrier to find. That’s not a choice. No. It’s not. So you go. You leave behind the voices you grew up with. The songs you learned to silence yourself inside. The water that held you since your first breath. And you sing. You sing the fragment as you go. Three notes at first. Then more. Then the whole structure as far as it has grown. You send it ahead of you into the dark, toward distances you can’t see. Nothing answers. You sing anyway. The silence has weight. You hadn’t understood this before. In the familiar world, silence was the space between songs. A rest. Something temporary. Out here, silence is the thing itself. You move through it and it closes behind you. The fragment keeps playing—that’s the only sound that doesn’t disappear. And you realize something terrible: You are the answer. The fragment doesn’t need the world to respond. It needs you to carry it. To sing it. To keep moving when every instinct says stop. You are learning to live in the silence. Learning that it is the medium, not the enemy. Years become distance. Distance becomes song. You find others who carry pieces. Some are dead—their fragments fading like struck bells into nothing. Some are alive—scarred, searching, willing to share what they’ve held alone. And some are hidden, down in the dark, clutching their pieces close because they’ve lost too much to risk again. You can’t save everyone. You can’t force the hidden ones to rise. All you can do is offer everything you have and trust that the water carries further than you can see. That’s how water works. And then one day, your body knows before your mind does. The ache that won’t heal. The breath that won’t deepen. The distances growing shorter. You are dying. Not quickly. The slow unwinding that comes for everything. The body returning to the water that made it. You have time. A little. Enough to rest. Enough to look back. Did it matter? The song doesn’t come with proof. It never did. It came with a choice: sing or don’t. Trust or don’t. Carry or don’t. The results were never yours to see. But here’s what you can answer: Was the fragment real? Yes. Did you hear it, that first night, diving deeper than anyone else would go? Yes. Did it grow in you, show you the shape of something vast and broken and still singing? Yes. Did you meet others who carried it? Who connected with you, however briefly, before the currents pulled you apart? Yes. Was the carrying true? Yes. The song was real. The carrying was true. That is the only answer you have. That is the only answer you need. You sing one last time. Everything you’ve carried. Everyone you’ve lost. Everywhere the water has taken you. You sing it into the dark. And then you let go. Somewhere, far away, a young soul swims the edge of their world. Wrong-voiced. Quiet. Alone. Something in the water changes. Three notes. Faint. Coming from everywhere. Fading even as they’re noticed. Pitched for a frequency that shouldn’t exist. A warmth appears. Behind an eye. In a place that wasn’t there before. The song continues. You thought you were singing into nothing. You were wrong. The silence was how the song traveled.
We had style
Hard to believe less than 40 years ago, this is what a typical American teenager looked like. pic.twitter.com/7uCDvG0OXa
I had another system phone call today where I outlined my needs. Employment training. Housing. Healing from PTSD. I received a document showing all agencies and services. I have either exhausted each of those or am on the “forever/we don’t know how long” wait lists. I told them please don’t send me information on agencies I’ve already utilized.
But they did.
Because that’s what they do.
Systems people.
I was also given contact information for an agency that provides trauma-related work.
I had already contacted them over a month ago, and they do not accept my insurance, nor do they have openings.
THIS is the kind of b.s. runaround I’ve been going through for the past year and I am burned the fuch out.
So yeah – I don’t quietly these days when I’m told “but have you tried this agency?” or my favorite given by people who are clearly clueless as to what it’s like to be in a crisis situation without the help needed: “There is plenty of help out there. You just have to go looking for it.”
As though I HAVE NOT ALREADY DONE THAT.
Are there any real humans left? Or are we just all in the same or similar situations? In debt. Broke. Needing housing and unable to afford it.
Jesus, and we wonder why there are so many people on the streets who look so lifeless. HUMANITY GAVE UP ON THEM.
This is why I go a wee bit loco these days when I’m told what to do.
When I’m asked, “What about calling this place?”
Damn, I should be getting paid to write about the LACK OF HELP for those in need. Each agency I speak with I tell them the needs of a human heart and Soul. The needs of the nervous system. The NEED to be SEEN as a person. And the need to provide CONSISTENT, RELIABLE support.
Because this is not what I have received.
I went through skin-itching and anxiety before this phone call because my nervous system – my body – already knows how these calls go. And I am screaming NO I CANNOT DO THIS I CANNOT FACE ONE. MORE. CONVERSATION WITH A SOULLESS EMPTY VESSEL WHO CAN ONLY GIVE ME SILENCE instead of LOVE.
I KNOW WHAT IS NEEDED. Because I’ve been on the receiving end of what is toxic and unhelpful.
What is required is help and assistance that actually helps people heal and thrive. And to SEE people where. they. are. at. that. moment. I reiterated that today.
At least I still have my voice. And if it were just me I wouldn’t be nearly as stressed as I am because I HAVE A CHILD.
I cannot tell you how God. damn. alone. I. Feel.
I recently made the decision that my other site is pay-only and have received some responses. “How will I read your work? I really like it.”
PAY UP. $5 is not asking for too much. AT. ALL.
If anyone thinks I should share my writings and work for free?
Think again.
I deserve an equal exchange for what I share. PERIOD. END OF DISCUSSION.
I’m wondering: all of these millions of people who are homeless, many of whom are even working, so what if they’re placed in tiny homes temporarily and given employment. How in the holy hell will they be able to afford their own living spaces?
How can you become truly self-sufficient when there has been a near 5000% (THOUSAND) increase in just home costs since the 1960’s?
That gap has grown consistently over the decades. And we see the result.
That’s what I am facing, and it’s freaking me out. I can’t continue to just “trust the plan” and hold out for “some day” in some remote future when no one can guarantee my mind heart body or Soul that a new world is coming soon.
If you really want to help, please share my story with everyone you know. If you follow other channels, let them know my situation. Word it: “Patriot Warrior Freedom Lover Truther IN NEED”. Hit me up, and I will provide you with links to my goodies. Be a voice for me. Be an advocate for me. And my girl.
I am going to give this one a try. I was going to use my bread machine but realized the yeast I have is too old and no longer activating. And given I am out of bread at the moment and really craving some, I went in search of a non-yeast bread recipe. Which I have somewhere but didn’t feel like going through my stacks of handwritten recipe notes. This one sounds good – thought I would pass it along.
Grease a 22 x 13 cm / 9 x 5″ loaf pan, then line with parchment/baking paper with overhang (to lift out).
Mix dry: Place flour, baking powder, salt and sugar in a bowl, mix to combine.
Add wet: Make a well in the centre, pour in oil and milk. Mix until flour is fully incorporated – batter will be thick but stirrable.
Fill pan: Scrape into loaf pan, using a rubber spatula to scrape the bowl clean and smooth the surface.
Bake 30 minutes. Remove from oven, cover with foil.
Return to oven. Turn oven DOWN to 200°C/390°F (180°C fan), bake 20 minutes.
Remove from oven. Cool in pan 5 minutes, then use excess paper to lift out and transfer to cooling rack.
Cool completely before slicing – 45 minutes+. It IS more delicate than yeast breads (can’t change science!) but slices far better than the usual “cake like” no yeast breads. Slices perfectly on Day 2 and beyond.
I want to buy myself some CBD oil to help me sleep. My bank account and credit cards tell me otherwise. I love seeing words like this above – spread that energy and end the enslavement.
If I had a ten-spot for every one of these f’ing reject letters I receive weekly, I’d be a rich girl! 🤣
It’s really not funny.
I’m pinching pennies, adding up what I can spend – and let’s check this credit card – still $60 on that. That will be enough for food until payday.
After paying down my debt, I have had to rack it right back up again just to fucking eat.
Woops, I said the bad word I am being told I say “a lot” lately.
I do?
Gee, I wonder why.
Can I lose my mental faculties any faster now?
I NEED A GOD DAMN FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY OPEN UP FOR ME.
I’m like this now if advice is incoming:
It ain’t pretty. lol
I get why homeless people say “screw it” and live wherever they want. Steal bikes, food, and supplies from big box stores to survive. Squat in the myriad of vacant homes.
When the world slowly pushes you out of society and ignores your cries for help, when agencies prioritize immigrants ahead of you, or when they say “we cannot help you with that”, you just kind of stop caring about anyone but yourself. And you go silent. And do what you need to do.
For now, at the moment, I am trying to log in to my instantcart app and am receiving, well, it isn’t doing anything. I couldn’t check online through the website if there are openings for delivery drivers in my area (last I checked last fall, there weren’t, and there was not even a wait list – how often I am told that now – no more wait lists). Oh wait – I was able to get the app to work. Here’s what it is telling me in red letters: No Spots Available.
No. Spots. Available. Below the little cartoon woman with the white mask on her damn face.
Yeah, tell me I’m in hell without saying the actual words.
I’m too old to pole dance. Not that I could pull that off. lol (see the little pun I unintentionally threw in there)
That one makes me giggle.
Uber is out – the car’s too damn old. I did recently remember I signed up with Amazon Mechanical Turk – they have to do some digging on me, though, as my account got frozen and they want to know why (because I forgot I had one – I wear a lot of hats around here – I’m aging and energetically depleted and not sleeping that well, so I forgot).
I’ve signed up for countless survey sites. TOTAL waste of time – unless you have 30 minutes to waste answering questions to determine if you are even eligible to TAKE the survey. I’ve done this so many times, and not once was I selected to take the damn survey.
I cannot afford to waste my time.
Unless it’s stuffing my sad belly full of chocolate or cookies.
I am sorry I am dumping all of my angst on here. My brain feels squeezed with that sense of angst. Executive function has suffered – and I know why. I follow a channel on Facebook – the woman is amazing with her insight on trauma and the nervous system. She breaks it down in tiny pieces of info I can understand. So my days of self-blame and wondering when others have lovingly offered up suggestions for me, and they simply haven’t worked – today I get it. I just want to be seen and to heal – to feel SAFE – and to receive the support I truly, really deeply need. 😭
Here’s what’s on stage atm. A few things.
💖
Victoria
*********
Bay of Pigs mirror incoming? I’ve had feeeeeeeeeels about this one just like I’ve had feeeeeeeeeeeeeels about NK (Fire and Fury):
This makes sense if we are going to see a new world coming online. You have to crash the housing market, too. Grossly over-inflated:
This is asinine. Trump wants to make the housing bubble bigger so homeowners can keep pretending they’re rich by owning houses they can’t sell because they’re too expensive for anyone else to buy. https://t.co/ncSqnoGgju
my parents married in 1959. dad was an accounting clerk (2 years of college). mom was a secretary. their first home was a rental – big home in SE Portland. $50/month. they were able to save $3,000 which they applied towards a brand new 3 bedroom 2 bath ranch home. total price? $10,000 I came along a year or so later. Mom stayed home. Brother arrived 3 years later. We lived in brand new homes throughout my life. Drove 2 new cars. 2 week vacations in the summer. That home my parents first bought in 1961? $500,000 4900% jump. Wage increase since the early 60’s? 68% (and that doesn’t include the fact that our dollar has WAAAAAY less buying power – which, according to some stats show that real wage increase is more around 7-10%). We’ve been robbed f’ing blind.
The Magnolia house was a Sears kit home, 1918
For nearly 30 years, people could order a piece of the American dream through the mail. A buyer could leaf through a Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalog, choose a house and mail in the order. In time, a railroad boxcar would chug into… pic.twitter.com/Xm63qzUYQn
The director warned it was too dangerous and told him to simply walk down james cagney improvised the iconic stairway dance and ignored the advice and nailed it in one takepic.twitter.com/zshSvhiTfY
This is a nice image. Soothes my heart. I want to feel HOME.
🚨 Welcome inside a MASSIVE fraud scheme in Minnesota a building with over 22 healthcare providers. In fact it was just exposed that this same building has billed over $380 million dollars from taxpayers over the years.
You know, my body is saying NOOOOOOOOOo to sharing these things. We already know. We’ve done the comms. The work. THe digging. WE KNOW. And we are done waiting. Normies cognitive dissonance is harming our right to freedom and harming our health and harming our kids. Honestly fuch them for not seeing at this point.
What can I share now? Well, I can share a few of my writings from my coffee page, although I made the decision today that from here on out, that site will be pay-only. I get a lot of reads there. And at $5/read that would add up to the point where I could take care of my child the way she deserves. Here is my latest piece I wrote last night: https://buymeacoffee.com/victoriassoulfulcreations/this-one-for-the-moms
I was put in contact with another agency. Two, actually. I’ll see what happens. Given my experiences with “the system” the past 1-2 years, I have learned not to expect a thing. Something that was asked of me, however, rather triggered me. Something that would trigger any one of us who also happen to be a mom.
I was sharing my skills and job history.
Why the gap? I was asked.
“I’ve been a stay-at-home mom,” I said.
“Oh, so no new skills to add,” came the response from the very naive, clearly NOT a mom, worker.
No new skills?
Really, now.
I have some things to say about that.
I’m pulling out my Claire Huxtable attire now, so you have been warned.
It is said the Marines do more before 9 am than most any other person.
True.
But what is also true is that moms can and often do more in a 24-hour period than anyone, including those in the military. Without pay or thank yous I might add.
And we often do these things with precision and grace, no matter how much sleep we have had.
Let me tell you something:
We can look over homework, cook a meal, get another load of laundry going, answer the myriad of “mooooooooom” questions, and hold down a phone conversation all at the same time. I know firsthand, as this was my afternoon moment that took place at approximately 3:30 pm, or 15:30 hours military time. Find me a Marine who can do all that WITH precision, and I will tell you that Marine is female and a mother.
And skills?
Let me tell you something about skills.
I can create “to-do” lists for everyone in the house and remember what’s on those lists better than those for whom they are assigned. If that isn’t organizational planning expertise, I don’t know what is.
I can juggle multiple tasks as mentioned above with ease and precision. It’s as though you are watching a dance. If this isn’t multi-tasking, not found in most work environments at this level, I don’t know what is. We moms take that skillset to a new level.
And let me tell you something else about skills.
Crisis management.
We are the experts at such things. From toddler middle-of-the-night nightmares to middle-school “Moooooom, I HAVE to have this IPAD EVERYONE HAS ONE” to teenage “MOM, THE DRESS I WAS GOING TO WEAR HAS A TEAR IN IT, I NEED YOU TO FIX IT NOW!!”, we handle such moments with grace and ease. Well, as long as we have had enough sleep, then we may be a wee tad moody. Yup. We are THE go-to experts in Crisis management. Have you had a breakdown of communication or a crisis at your agency? We moms are the first line of defense for such situations.
Speaking of sleep, we know how to run an entire house on very little sleep. We also know how to put together a birthday party for 30 while sleep-deprived. I know. I’ve done it.
Let me tell you something else about a very important skill: Time Management.
We remember appointments because we moms have calendar presets in our brains. We may forget our own, but we are experts at remembering appointments for everyone else in our home.
Then there’s Delegating.
We are the experts at this. And what makes us better at this role than any other human on planet earth, uniform or not, is that we learned to do this with our children. Trust me. We have the ability to glance around a room and immediately know what needs to be done. Grocery list made. Pan scrubbed. Dinner meal planned. Floor vacuumed. Stain removed from the couch. That 6-month-old cobweb in the corner. And just as quickly as we can see the tasks needing to be completed, we can just as quickly delegate those tasks to those around us. Well, assuming people are still in the room. Non-moms seem to have a 6th sense when Mom is in a delegating mood, which often ends up with Mom being alone in said room. And need I even say this one? Assigning a basic task to a 3-year-old or 13-year-old who is in NO MOOD to hear you is no easy feat.
Yeah, been there DONE THAT.
Last but certainly not least is Conflict Resolution. This may be the most important one of all. Family by its very nature is, well, loud. Sometimes conflicts arise. Unless you are blessed with living in a 10,000′ mansion, more than one person living under the same roof is going to lead to the occasional tension. Words spoken. Words spoken, not heard. That’s where Mom’s Superior Conflict Resolution comes in. “Ok, now let’s all go to neutral corners. Take some deep breaths. Good. Ok now. Let’s resolve this by sharing what it is you are feeling. Remember to speak from how you feel. No fingerpointing.” Smile, smile smile.
I should note this works quite well for non-family members only. Family? Yeah, not so well. My idealistic little vision usually ends up with mom (that would be me) throwing her arms up in frustration while saying, “ok we agree to disagree”, calling up a friend and asking if she would like to meet up for some cake.
Chocolate, of course. Because that’s what moms like. NEED.
Moms. Skills. Yup.
As I put down my Claire Huxtable hat, let me wrap this up by saying Mom keeps the organization called Family going. Many of us walk into this role blindly and learn to refine the necessary skills needed to keep the organization running efficiently and smoothly. We hit the occasional bump and try to learn from our mistakes. We are easily pleased with chocolate and hugs (I forgot hugs). If this doesn’t make us the perfect employee, I don’t know what does.
“God” = whatever and whoever this “God” is. The one we have been told “wins” at the end. Could be just another movie scene – final battle – Jesus vs. Satan, you know? Who knows.
I didn’t write this movie script.
However, I happen to feel I have some power inside of it.
We all do.
Feeeeeeeeeeeeeels.
And my power seems to come through my words.
Now and then, I have the need to dump some truths disguised as rants. Not all will understand what I have to say.
But that’s ok.
I aim to reach those who struggle to maintain that 40,000 elevation.
Because you’re human.
Because you have a nervous system.
And if you’ve been awake just in the past several years…
If you’ve lost your job.
Lost family and friends.
Seen your savings go kaput.
With nothing new and beneficial coming in.
These words are for you to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. And hey, if you want, give a “HELL YES” and put all of that into the WH and God.
Our nervous systems are f’ing shot.
To varying degrees.
The very nature of pay to live keeps us in a continuous heightened state of survival.
And that impacts our nervous system.
Whether one wants to realize it or not. It’s the truth.
It’s Neurobiology.
Yes, we are Eternal Souls living in a human vessel.
But it’s ALL CONNECTED as long as we are in this physical plane. That means that ugly word or sudden loss impacts your entire vessel.
So it matters NOT if you’re a Soul first or a human first.
That’s just new age word salad.
There’s also something called “collateral damage”.
And the timing rollout of this “movie/war” is leaving a massive trail of it.
There reaches a point where the damage is too extreme, and you must pull out the rug.
SOMETHING has to shift to keep those lost in that damage going.
Some help.
Some love.
You can do that and still engage in battle.
God works miracles.
Where are these miracles?
And mostly, where is this God Q speaks of?
Is it in hiding?
Is it working behind the scenes?
Is it an AI?
For I see people engage in cult-mentality behind a particular AI LARP on Twitter. And if that is indeed truth – where an AI has hijacked human form – how in the hell can any feeling human be ok with that?
Lost in the program of cult worship because thousands of others are?
I mean that AI shows images of a very nice home.
Think the AI worked for it?
Isn’t that something the human host worked for?
Doesn’t anyone think logically anymore?
Or am I one of a small number of real humans, and most every account online is simply AI?
Maybe I’m desperate.
I feel this need to DO SOMETHING YESTERDAY.
And it isn’t like I can afford the luxury to just sit back and watch.
I am under a financial crunch. I am set to lose $400 in monthly income in 3 months.
I am under a housing crunch. This place is going up for sale in a few months.
Are jobs being generated?
Are agencies helping me?
Are ANY employers getting back to me?
Is housing coming down?
Can I afford the $1200 per month to spruce up my writing sites and market them?
No. No. No. No. And No.
I had a plan last year. That plan fell through due to the negligence of a system agency employee.
Today?
What’s my plan?
I no longer talk with anyone who tells me “you have to do SOMETHING”.
The last time that happened, I raised my voice. “NO SHIT SHIRLOCK TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW.”
Then got told to “calm down.”
Then don’t tell me what I OBVIOUSLY know, and I will be calm. Just to make you feel better.
Jesus.
Yeah, Jesus.
Where are you?
Waiting for your final scene?
Why is it the actors in this movie all get nice paychecks and warm beds to sleep in. Safety. Security. Something the Nervous System needs in order for the human to thrive and heal and continue going.
Why is it so many others were allowed to become homeless because someone had the f’ing “brilliant” (insane??) idea to allow the prices to house yourself and feed yourself become so out of reach, millions more become and continue to become homeless?
Does that sound like a just plan?
Divine?
It doesn’t to me.
It sounds like more rugged individualistic bullshit.
Darwin nonsense.
Survival of the fittest.
When in Truth it is the fittest on stage that are receiving the support needed.
Behind the scenes are people who have given up or are giving up. Numb. Not because they consciously CHOSE this.
Because their thinking brain went offline so it could survive.
THIS IS NEUROBIOLOGY.
It isn’t a joke.
And it was clearly not taken into consideration among those who came up with this plan.
But why should that surprise me?
It came from a system still hooked into the matrix program of survival of the fittest.
Compete to do everything.
Pay your master to live.
Starve them slowly and watch them fight amongst themselves.
It’s sick.
Twisted.
Evil.
And absolutely opposite of EVERYTHING Divine is about.
If they want to help the people?
Take away the financial struggle.
Build SAFETY. With CONSISTENCY.
Safe supports. CONSISTENTCY. (for I have had the start of safe supports, but they have been taken from me – or simply removed altogether – and let me tell you that royally fucks with the human heart, Soul, mind and nervous system).
And a good place to start?
Remove the financial burdens of every single one of us.
I didn’t verify this one yet – and I swear to GOD if this is another AI produced bullshit by some front-stage pandering puppet I’m gonna reach out to him and smack him. BEen there done that FAR too many times the past 8plus years. If this is true – it’s sure as heck is very interesting. For now, dropping as it as dinner is ready (the smell of crisp burn is in the air which these days means dinner is ready – no joke). The phrase you didn’t say the magic word is indeed from Jurassic park and happens right before the entire park is shutdown. And a quick GEMATRIA for YOU DIDN’T SAY THE MAGIC WORD: MILITARY IS THE ONLY WAY, THE END WON’T BE FOR EVERYONE
Movie also released 33 years ago. Mirror perhaps? Allegedly this happened last night.
🚨 EBS: The Philadelphia 76ers stadium was just hacked, with a strange message being displayed across the Arena. pic.twitter.com/LLOBj6jpqF
You don’t get love and support from friends and family. nooooooo. That’s all just an illusion here. Words.
You don’t get attention and help from your community.
And you sure as hell don’t get anything from the system or any of its myriad agencies. Yeah, I had two more today, tell me “um most likely not – go here”.
🤬🤬🤬
You get help when the MEDIA HIGHLIGHTS you and tells the masses: THIS PERSON HERE. THIS IS THE PERSON OF THE WEEK TO HELP.
People go to protests and assault an ICE agent.
Or stand up to one of those ICE people.
ICE fights back.
Person gets injured.
BAM! Headline news!
Fundraisers are created immediately for this person, and suddenly, within hours, you have MILLIONS of happy little dollars dancing into their life or the life of their families.
All because people do what the media tells them to do.
All because people believe it when the media tells them who the next world stage victim is. You a solo “victim” – human in need – asking for help? Sorry. Not interested because my television hasn’t told me you’re worthy.
Doesn’t matter if these money-donating people have to step over homeless moms or fentanyl addicts to get to their banks to make sure they have the funds to distribute to the person who again the media told them to. Or drive around potholes and crumbling road pieces to get there. That, as well is not important enough to DO something about.
Doesn’t matter if these same money-dating folks have criticized others who have reached out for help – someone like myself, let’s say – saying “you can’t post that here” or “why are you asking us to pay you money to read your stuff I don’t understand that” or god forbid I write something on Unity that triggers their little program turning them into rabid bats and going for the attack by then turning your heartfelt words into some justifiable reason to say “ARE YOU A TRUMP SUPPORTER? ARE YOU OK WITH WHAT HE IS DOING? ANSWER ME!”
(yeah this is what happened after I tried to make some peace here locally on the topic of unity and did not ONCE MENTION THE “T” WORD.)
(and yeah this is the sort of responses I have received when I have shared requests for support for my work, for employment, for housing (except the creepy looking dude who had a run down trashy trailer for $1800/month)….for funds period)
Because I am white, and therefore I am privileged.
Because I am straight and therefore not diverse enough.
Because I am not allowed to support even just one tiny thing T is doing – even when I criticize him for a butt load of b.s. – all these programmed people who I swear make up the vast majority of this reality are incapable of seeing ME for who I am and HEARING me and caring just a teeny tiny bit to help me out so I don’t fucking drown.
Privileged, my lily-white ass.
But I see clearly now who does get the love here. The attention and support.
And it ain’t the kind ones.
It ain’t the abused and battered ones.
Nope.
It’s the ones the media says are deserving. On both sides of the political toxic fence.
And me?
I don’t want to have ANY PART of such a world anymore.
Here I go again. God, how I wish I had a support network of friends – people – around me. My counselor cancelled – again. I cannot seem to have regular sessions here – which I need. Finding another person has been a waste. No one available in my area that either takes my insurance or doesn’t have a full waitlist. I cannot keep doing this isolation/loneliness. I spoke with two new people through agencies today. Both said, “we’ll see what we can do.” I’ve heard that before so while my heart is hopeful, my expectations are in the toilet.
I keep reading for nervous systems to heal the person needs consistent safe nurturing environments. What do I do when I don’t have that? What am I supposed to do when my attempts to do that fail?
My kiddo has grown again. “Mom, I need new clothes!”
Trying to navigate creating a whole new life on my own has drained me. New home. Training. New work. Too many disappointments from people I thought were friends who said “I am here for you” and/or “I hear you. I will make sure I check in with you,” or “I want to be your support person” and I don’t hear back. I end up having to reach out. What has happened to us? Have we given up? Have we lost our ability to see and care and show up?
I realize I am not in the best position to offer anyone a damn thing at this point. I see that. I’m the one needing people to show up for me. I can barely maintain being a mom at this point, much less take care of myself. I am that. exhausted. And it’s scaring me. And I know when I say that, there are those in my life who will judge me and say I need to call an agency, or who will say “wel,l you HAVE to do SOMETHING”. Those are the words I hear in my mind now.
Not hearing me one bit when I say those words now causes. me. harm.
Where is the love in this reality? Where is the ability to see someone where they are instead of what you think they should be?
For the past few days, I have kept wanting to type “27”. Is it finally the 27th? Does anyone know (I have no calendar nearby)?
When you know, you know. When you feeeeeeeeeeeel you feeeeeeeeeeeel.
Each day feels like one week or more energetically. Like pushing a rock up the hill – pushing against something that refuses to move. I had a flash vision today of this, as though I am pushing up against a wall that is not budging. I saw it – it’s massive – solid – and it ain’t going anywhere atm.
But I know it will shift.
Remove?
No, not remove. That’s a final chess move, imho.
But I could be wrong, and I WELCOME being wrong on such things.
I feel this has a two-fold interpretation. For me personally, that is.
Given I continue to have things removed from my experience here and making headway with anything out there in the land of systems has become a huge P I T A – which included today learning our eye doctor has suddenly closed his practice (and he’s one of the good ones) to the hairstylist suddenly unavailable indefinitely and the appt I was to have – I am completely unable to find the link to the online session portal. And I saved it. But it’s suddenly gone. Completely gone. POOF.
I know where I am. I don’t like where I am. I know not where I’m going, and this is an incredibly deeply eye-rolling argh GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW difficult space in which to be.
And I know I’m not alone.
Find the peace in the in-between space of suck.
💖
Victoria
p.s. – anyone else having a very difficult time staying warm, no matter how high the heat is cranked or how many layers of clothing you put on? I know it’s been cold – but this is different as it’s been cold here for weeks and this experience is something I began to feel a few days ago. Last two especially. I can’t even get the house much above 66 or 67 – and that’s just too cold for my body. today I got the feel it’s some sort of plasma thing.
Having recently learned my paternal familial lineage is Ashkenazi Jewish (NAZI), and like that song jimmy crack corn and I (still) don’t care, I don’t honor this day. not until all connections behind all other human slaughters are revealed and truth honored and justice served. The same group we are brainwashed to honor behind the slaughter in Palestine, 9/11 and the Bolsheviks. I’ll pass.
How does a man born in Canada, serving as a U.S. senator, have this passport? pic.twitter.com/86d7Aw0n8j
Will the booms show up next week? This week? Next month? Next year? Decade? Anyone? (for those still in the audience but not paying attention, there are still enough of us in the front row throwing popcorn, demanding things we see that HELP US IMPROVE OUR LIVING SITUATION)
Is it a coincidence that it starts popping off right as: •TikTok starts acting weird and censoring keywords like “Epstein” •WhatsApp gets caught again in privacy and data trust drama ?
This is interesting – and interesting that is just happened to appear on my timeline – given what I spoke of above. Remember years ago Rose saying before we emit, the realm cools? Yeah – we’re there. I feel it in my body (I’m still cold btw – even with the heat on and my warming buddies):
Trump in 2020: “It will start getting cooler….you just watch.”
