Well, after last night’s UFC fight – in which so far I have seen no one doing any decodes on it – leaving many – far too many – feeling let down yet again – feeling like if we had any sort of wishful wanting that all just served as more loosh for the system – while others who don’t care, aren’t concerned about it or who knows not to ever fall for any sort of hopium – even though they have it deep within because who the hell DOESN’T have that inner need for change now – well I’m just in that combination space of WTF and whatever.
Missing in this awakening are core human needs going unmet. And it’s harming every one of us to varying degrees.
Biology.
Heart.
Soul.
Safety.
I wrote this piece below today after seeing another human (and her child) being forced to live at a church because the system decided it was better to help those who come here from other places. When your life is at the point where you choose safety at a church over safety in the streets or worse, you know this entire reality is fucked up. MAJORLY FUCKED up.
I pause.
The “you should” voice creeps in. “Be positive.”
Yeah, time to squash that lie.
For I know this: fake it until you make it doesn’t reach where it needs to. While it inspires and motivates, all it takes is one stressful event to make you realize, “oh yeah, I didn’t deal with that deep enough.”
Is it any surprise that the more tech we have been given, and the more socially isolated we have become, the more dysregulated we are? Add in pay to live and compete to live and all of that heavy toxic gunk, and you get the following result: people exhausted, depleted, angry, overwhelmed.
Ya’ll know this, and ya’ll know how I feel about this reality. I don’t think of myself as being positive or negative – just f’ing honest. And to heal, we need TO be honest. Below is part of what I wrote earlier. The link to continue to read the rest is below. I ask for financial support too, as I have been crushed in that department. And given the lack of support my nervous system needs, plus the competition to find additional help (which is INSANE the lengths of these wait-list – which you end up having to rely on because no one else is stepping up to fill in that gap) and the lack of financial luxury I have to pay someone who is available but does not accept my insurance – well – fuck it – I am desperate. The demands on me have taken an effect, and it’s noticeable: in how I look – how I talk – how I sleep. It isn’t uncommon to see me put my hands on my ears and walk away – for even the most basic of requests. I mean, what fucking reality is it EVER ok to force a human to stay in a situation that is harming them and their child, and when you ask for help you get gaslit, ignored, or judged? It is my hope people read these words and expand their heart and minds because without these needs being met by one another, by the military, by God or forces beyond, we’re f’d.
***
Human Needs and Healing
I have learned a lot about the basic needs of a human.
Too often, social media is filled with cute little one-liners or long-drawn-out dribble by “experts” who say your emotional well-being is up to you and you alone.
People on the sidelines acting as cheerleaders.
“You can do it! I believe in you!”
“Keep going!”
Helpful, yes. But not enough.
Then there is one of the most damaging lines:
“Just push yourself more.” Quite often, pushing yourself does more harm. I experienced this when I pushed myself to burnout last year. I’m still in that phase, trying to regulate, and this time, working at a pace that meets my needs. Listening TO my body instead of ignoring her. And as I have learned, the nervous system communicates to us via sensations, senses, feelings. So throwing words at a system already on high alert is not effective. That said, the RIGHT words combined with calm and authentic compassion can help the person begin the process of calming down and returning to center. Words like, “I see you are upset. I hear you. What can I do to help you right now?”
Unfortunately, many experts lack knowledge about the nervous system and what is needed to heal and thrive. I have written about this before, but it is worth repeating, for it is that important. I view the nervous system like the car’s electrical system. If you have even just one wire out of place or damaged, the car isn’t going to operate at full capacity. And just like the car cannot magically fix that wire itself, a human cannot just fix a dysregulated nervous system on his/her own.
The nervous system has four needs:
- Safety – Secure
- Connection – Co-Regulation
- Rest – Safe deactivation
- Activation – Safe Movement/Mobilization
For anyone who has trauma, those four are needed to heal.
Which means one thing: no one heals in a bubble.
Continue reading and support my writings here: https://buymeacoffee.com/victoriassoulfulcreations/human-needs-healing
