I feel like I have 25 things I need to be focused on atm and my brain can only handle 3 now. I can’t lie or pretend to feel different – my nervous system is numb atm. What do I need? This damn matrix system(s) to stop attacking me and the Universe to start bringing in Love and Support and Abundance.
I receive I receive I receive. Damn hard to be in that space with this kind of pressure on you. That’s why others surrounding me is so crucial now.
Having my housing – my basic right to shelter and safety – threatened puts me in a tailspin no matter what steps I take or no matter what I tell myself. Survival instincts are a real thing. I get phone calls “have you done this” – texts “have you tried this are you doing this” – today I finally told one person to please make that call for me. I don’t have the mental focus to do that. She agreed.
Ask and I will receive.
I’m angry. That part of me that’s taken it long enough. I’m just so spitting angry that there are so many who have so much and haven’t a clue as to what it’s like not to be in that po$ition ~ and use that $$ position to judge and assume that because they “made it” – everyone can. Blame the victim. It enrages me for it holds no compassion or understanding. Everyone has a story – those who struggle the most perhaps need a little extra love, right?
I feel angry that once again someone with more money than God (not really exaggerating all that much here) is threatening my safety. My – our – fundamental right to SAFE housing. Who does that knowing there’s a child in the picture? And who the hell tells someone if perhaps I had tried harder I wouldn’t be in this financial situation – totally gaslighting while ignoring the fact that while my income is actually up 3x that of what it was when I first moved here – housing has jumped over 100% in the past 3-5 years alone – 300% in the last 10-15 years. And low-income/affordable housing – they do not take emergency situations. The wait lists remain as they are regardless of your situation. I learned that today. 😩
I’m worn out and I need people advocating for me now. I cannot do this on my own with this extra “unwanted” happening. I know my limits. When my mind is numb, when I am not sleeping, when I am not able to give my own child the focus I WANT to give her and that she NEEDS – that’s when I get loud and say HELP ME.
Help me share my story.
Help me look for alternative housing. As into look into it for me on my behalf – I cannot deal with having one more thing on my list that I must do on my own.
Help me find someone trustworthy – or a business – who can promote the works I do to increase my income to the level it needs in order to survive out there. (that’s a big one – that’s on my list as I have been told there are funds there to provide that – I just need to find someone/a business – and I honestly don’t know how to do this one on my own)
I will not be a victim of this parasitic take take take reality.
I will NOT allow my daughter to see her mom pick up the pieces on her own this time.
Nope.
Just N O.
It’s time she sees good people step up and help. She’s sadly apathetic these days – which hurts my heart – telling me “mom people don’t care”. I refuse to believe that. And I show her when people have cared and are caring.
But I also realize as does she – it is going to take a lot more finances than I currently have to survive out there. To afford the cost of housing alone. I simply do not have that at this moment – but there is always the next moment and THAT is where I am doing my best to keep my focus.
There’s an entire Universe out there full of YES.
Finds later. TY for reading and for any help you can provide.
💖🙏
Victoria
CASHAPP: $VictoriaT1144
