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Today was hard.  Really hard.  I lost it to the point where I felt my mind was splitting apart.  I couldn’t contain myself.  I had to release.

The usual deep breathing and other techniques continue to not work as they once did.  The ability to deal with any situation that wishes to control me is impossible.  I won’t contain myself.  I won’t be bullied or pushed around.

Why this is all being allowed to “play out” continues to be disturbing to me. What is this?  Version number 2 of hell?  Have we been set up for yet another trap?  Why aren’t we seeing mass lawsuits against these nazi politicians and governors w/their mask mandates?  And where is President Trump with all of this?  I tag him daily calling on an E/O.  Tens of thousands of us signed a petition commanding one.  I see more people than ever in my area masking up – including outside.  Kids too.

What is really going on with all of this on-going programming?  I thought we were supposed to be getting DE-programmed.

I honestly don’t know.  I don’t feel “right” about what I see.  I have been trying to tune in and I am finding that sense of inner peace and truth right now just ain’t happening.  Last night I put out – yet again – the strong desire to get some Truth as to what’s going on.  I don’t need updates of pacification.  I don’t need to hear another stinking word about “the energies”.  I need cold hard truth and facts that I can see, read, hear and verify.

I ditched social media for the most part today.  Too many people speaking a language I can’t relate to.  There is the republican convention that began today.  And you know what?  In all honesty, I don’t give a flying freak about it.  I keep feeling this pushing away and out of that world while I wait….for what?  The doors I continue to visualize smashing open to actually open…?

I began a mental dialogue with myself earlier today while at the park about the energies and what they are doing and stopped myself.  The feeling within – I don’t give a flying freak about that either.

I did manage to glean some free wood while out and about.  So that was something answered to an intent I put out.  I am expecting the same results for the desire to know for certain exactly what is going on on all fronts.

Certainty.  That is what I continue to command for myself.

For now, I am off to take a long hot shower (well meaning people tell me to take a bath – I would if we had a bath tub)…..and watch a movie.  Again. Alone.

Love,

Victoria

I saw our experience here as being inside of a car.

Sometimes we are driving the car.

Most of the time – we’re just the passenger with occasional controls.

If you attempt to steer the car when it goes against the matrix, it will throw a boulder in front of you.  And when you speak out about it, the new age and religious folks will tell you “you must need that boulder so you can learn a lesson”.

There is a difference between a nudge and a poke.

Nudges are gentle and flowing and persistent.  Those nudges lead you to a better place.

Pokes just f’ing hurt and harm.

Today’s news about blood-related plasma treatment triggered me.

And I rather don’t care any more if I do get triggered.

I CARE about truth and freedom and I care about having all of that now.

I certainly don’t align with those who are saying “we have to wake up the normies gently”.

I don’t care about the normies at this point in respect to conversing with them in creating an experience of Freedom.  Most of them are fine with the systems of education, religion, pay to live and the like.  When I have mentioned those things I see and desire, I get “the look”.

What I DO care about and who I DO care about are friends and loved ones and ALL who are suffering and in need of healing technologies and restorative modalities that cure.  C U R E.

I care about people who have cancer – like a dear friend of mine who has a rare form of brain cancer.  While he is using an alternative treatment (cannabis oil) and it is keeping the cancer from spreading, he still seeks a cure.  I’ve been telling him for 3 years now “the cure is coming.  The cure is coming.”

I care about my mate and others who have chronic health issues such as lyme and lupus and god knows what other bioweaponized infections/bacterium they suffer from.

I care about all of us who have traumas that have affected our cognitive functioning.

I care about all who have been harmed by vaccines.

I care about all who have struggled with the pay to live enslavement and the myriad of hurdles put in place that curtail or stop us from having the Fully Free Experience of Pure Creation.

Three years – I keep saying – the cures are coming.  The cures are coming.

For over 15 years I have been saying “the new world is coming”.

I sometimes wonder now if I am looking like a fool.

Nope.

It is not I who looks like the fool.

It is those who support this frigging god damn slow as molasses revealing of all that was hidden.  And it is most especially those who are allowing this process to happen as slow as it is who, imho, are looking like the fool.

Evil operates quickly.  Have you noticed that?

And yet…..Love – Truth – operates immediately – even faster than evil. Right?

So where is Love and Truth?  Where is our Freedom?

That’s what I want to know.

That is the question I am screaming inside out to the Cosmos….to Home….

So today is another challenging day.  My brain is flat out exhausted.  Days like today I pause and reflect how much longer I can continue to do this daily life here in this matrix with all of its challenges and now – due to this covid mask wearing crap – restrictions.  Just today I had to find yet another new place to buy my chicken.  I used to buy it at the co-op.  I then began buying it at Natural Grocers, who use a local source and yet – three times now – the chicken has smelled and tasted like fish.  Something they are adding – fish meal or fish oil.  Whatever – it tastes awful – for allegedly organic, sustainable chicken, and gave all of us GI distress.  So I have had to spend time searching online.

And you know what?

I don’t like utilizing my time like that.

I am so ready for easy flow and for the dayem blocks and hurdles to *POOF* disappear – just like that.

I simply KNOW within how I am supposed to create.  As I began saying several years ago – just out of the blue:  “Where I come from we don’t do that.”

So on I go.

On we all go.

Money is tight as we approach the end of the month so if anyone can donate just a couple of dollars, as always, it is appreciated.  I was able to receive some energy assistance funds that I didn’t know were available to anyone of a certain income level due to the first stimulus package.  If you are in need, check with your local energy assistance program.

Let me know how you are all doing.

Love,

Victoria