everyone i have spoken with today (who holds a similar perception of what’s happening) has the same feel today: I AM DONE WITH THIS EXPERIENCE.
i have it too.
obviously have had it for some time as have many of you – but the fact that it felt so palpable today at an even deeper level – well what is that about? truth? one woman just told me this entire game – watching it play out – is draining her life energy.
nothing is worth that. take a break. a temporary one – permanent if need be.
some of us, myself included, have a knowing that we don’t need to see this grand awakening play out. the back and forth chaos. the deception. i continue to say NONE of it resonates with me – but it’s kind of the only real “movie” playing here that i can see at least SOME proof (some of the alleged happenings/truths i still question).
i can’t blindly follow anyone. except when i do. desperate for change – needing it so greatly – self soothing and focusing elsewhere is just a distraction for the ongoing deep desire within to see and experience change. N O W.
i had an interesting dream early this morning. i don’t recall what i was doing but i felt i was seeing myself in some chair and someone was telling me: “it’s time to pick a new name”. in my dream state i didn’t question this – it just seemed natural – but when i “woke up” (a term i use lightly now for what does it really mean to wake up? i question how “awake” i really am in this experience) – i frowned – contemplated and going within, asked what that phrase was about. time to pick a new name.
ok so here is what immediately came to me: when we are put here we are marked with a number – like cattle. we are tagged. i remember rose once said they (the controllers of this realm) have viewed us like cattle. did i tap into something? who knows for sure (the go-to phrase these days – who knows ANY THING until we KNOW). but i know my name – my birth/legal name – has never resonated w/me. (it’s “vicki” btw). so i use victoria because it is more fitting to me than “vicki”.
a new name would be fitting. new name. new body (or this one fully restored and returned to Original Code). new home. real experience of freedom. real connecting.
the collective has sighed for what i hope is one last time. those who want to watch all of this play out – go for it. i have no need. and many of us feel the same. freedom says “need granted”.
as far as the energies from what i can find – protons and electrons had some huge spikes earlier today. the schumann still has previous days of missing data with no updates. something blasted off the “sun” on the lasco earlier today but not much can be seen as they removed 3 hours of data.
energetically – that inner truth sensor buzzes loudly now – and more frequently. i had some experiences yesterday where someone walked over to me and i immediately felt queasy. last night my girl and i went to the store. as we walked back towards the car, we both heard loud music – loud and obnoxious. my instincts lit up – i could feel a really ugly intense energy in back of me so i glanced back and saw some large man wearing some sort of a portable radio on his body. he was singing to the song and the lyrics were not suitable to a child’s ears (much less an adult). he looked sketchy and my instincts said to keep going and not make eye contact. my girl looked uncomfortable too so i guided her to keep moving. we reached the car – he went on by – sat up on the street with his sign asking for money. a common sign around here as i have spoken of before. just more of the swamp playing out and i want no part of it.
as free being’s we deserve to have the experience we want here. or elsewhere. i continue to hold that intention until i do. we do. let those who created this mess clean it up. let those who align w/staying here have that experience. i’m way too tired just trying to figure out how to pay the bills, the growing cost of food and find some way to save to move or do some repairs on this body now. i am done trying to convince myself i belong here. i don’t. end of story.
and end of this reflection.
love,
victoria
******
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