i have been more focused on allowing and letting go of all that disturbs me….and yet i get to a point where i realize i haven’t “let go” of as much as i had wanted. i am not sure that is possible in this realm so i am NOT judging myself.
i came across the video below – 4 Non Blondes – What’s Up? i think of it as a song for my generation (even though i find it timeless. i had only been out of college for a couple of years and was finding the world much different than my trusting, highly confident mind and ego had perceived.
the opening line began with “25 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill”. i was 26 – close enough for me. i fell in love with the song. it sparked within me my own knowing of how f’d the world was. as i said, i had been out of college for 2 years and i could not find a job in my desired field – social services. i ended up doing other work – working with children – office work – still desiring to break into the field of social services and CHANGE THE WORLD.
after 10 years of this search i was told by a social worker i was seeing for counseling that i was far too passionate to work in the field. you do it and you see things much the same way i do, i pointed out. yes, she said – because i am grant funded. she told me if she had been an agency paid employee, she would have been run out given her own passion and like-mindedness. she told me “they (those who run these agencies) don’t want to change the system.” i felt defeated – but validated.
so i began the journey of writing out my ideas on the internet. i wonder if my first blog is still up and going. i never removed it.
today what pushed me over the edge emotionally was reading a story about a mama who took her 4 month old to the doctor. she only wanted 1 vaccine – the doctor refused and gave all 4 to the baby. this baby is now in the hospital and the doctors are saying it is indeed vaccine related.
WTF is going on? WHY are people doing this to their babies?? i don’t get it. and now we have people showing support for states to mandate – REQUIRE – vaccination or else (you don’t get to go to school….go out in public…attend events where other children will be in attendance as well). of course there is a huge backlash against the awakened parents/populace – but still….WHO COMES UP WITH THIS CRAP?
what line of thinking are they following? deeply deeply ignorant.
i swear – on days like today – i have to own up to the opinion – or truth – that some people are so deeply programmed they don’t have the capacity to think their own thoughts – to QUESTION any of the programs they were fed.
i’m without an answer on this one (other than what i provided) because if they were capable and were to educate themselves (on one of the myriad of topics to explore) they would not support vaccination at ANY level – ANY age. and now another little one has been unnecessarily harmed due to lies. deception. agenda’s. and idiots posing as professionals. who is the voice for this little baby? we have to be! we have to continue on with our truth seeking AND sharing no matter how much resistance we get in return.
the children need us…so they won’t have to grow up and have to listen to another song about how messed up this realm is.
and now, some 26 years later, i am every bit as passionate and idealistic as i was back then – i just carry a heavier pack on the back with the knowledge learned and experiences earned.
