I woke up this morning and simply did not want to get out of bed. I just wanted to sleep and this was not just about the need to sleep but the heaviness of this movie still on screen playing out – in this realm and outside of it. A phone call later from Sister D helped boost my spirits. It’s always a beautiful gift to me to be able to not only speak with some of you now and then, but to know my voice is safe ~ supported. (i always love hearing from my readers – sharing experiences, supporting one another – it is like a tribe to me – a family)
So the spirits raised, I created the energy to go out into the world and get supplies for the family.
I spent part of the afternoon running some errands. After my first stop, out in the parking lot, I saw an old family friend. I had seen him only a few months ago, but this time he looked different. My girl noticed it too. He looked shorter and not as muscular. His hair was quite different – it was darker. His humor was the same though and I gotta tell you, if it weren’t for that I would not have been positive I had seen the same person! It was that noticeable. Part of the merge process I would say…with whatever is going on with us here and out there and all of that coming together. Given the experience I had Monday evening that I shared here – and learned today that one of my Patreon supporters had the same experience – and given I am having moments where I see myself looking different (had that today as I got myself ready for the day – I am changing and it is noticeable some days and other days I see nothing different)…..I would say to expect the unexpected in ourselves and others in terms of at least how we look/appear.
Upon visiting another store later in the day, I realized the traffic was getting really congested so as I left, I quietly and quickly intended for a very easy trip home. The message was received and created. Traffic seemed to part for me much in the way Moses is said to have parted the Red Sea. I came upon another snag and thought “ok I’m gonna sit here for a bit” but this wonderful woman stopped her car and let me through. I smiled, waved, touched my heart to let her know how touched I was by her small but still very welcome gesture. As I have mentioned here before, I have this issue with panic in certain situations and feeling stuck in traffic is at the top.
I headed to one last store to get some jam. As I went to get in line, I suddenly heard very loud shouting from the parking lot outside. Several clerk’s stopped what they were doing and monitored the situation. I could tell they were wondering what to do. Two men were going at it. The anger coming from one was so intense – the other man seemed to just be defending his personal space – standing his ground. At first I felt fear so I calmed myself. Thankfully the situation ended for the one doing the most screaming drove off in his car. The clerk and I spoke about it and he said there was a lot of tension in the air today and this was not the first such incident. I told him this was not surprising to me given what I know and see. I said perhaps it would be useful to play soothing music on the radio instead of the pop music that is usually playing. Maybe place some lavender oil on cotton balls around the store too or burn sage. He thought those would be useful ideas and mentioned he may just relay that to management.
I gave thanks for no injuries or no need to call in help. After I came home, I relayed the story to my mate, who told me there was some suspicious activity at the story in which he visited earlier. He too could feel the tension. As I walked inside the house, tears came to my eyes. A deep sadness gripped me as I thought about what I had seen. I sent out a plea for ALL to stop the violence. Be kind to one another. We are all easily triggered right now, no doubt about that. We’ve all been pitted against one another and it is now time to see this for what it is. Take care of thyself first and foremost. Self care is absolutely essential now.
The needs for myself and family for the rest of this month include money for food and as I mentioned a day or two ago, some CBD oil for myself. It was helping me with sleep and anxiety. I still have not received that free bottle and again, have not heard back from the woman. The electric bill from February and the need to buy a cord of wood to continue to burn (it’s been a very cold winter here) was a big hit to the budget at the first of the month.
Thank you to those who do read my requests and donate when you can. It means so much to me and I appreciate you showing your support for the work I do each day.
Love to you all ~
Victoria
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