lots of speak now of the lunar eclipse (of which as i continue this piece and post it, has already passed). as i shared yesterday, i am not giving my energy to that. i thought of the moon after i woke up this morning. how many decades have we heard from docs/nurses in ER rooms how accidents, erratic behavior increases during the full moon? calls to 9/11. etc. etc.
this is enough for me to know this construct we call “moon” is artificial. i have heard it works in conjunction w/saturn as a receiver – beaming down negative frequencies. disruptive. there is also ample video/photographic footage showing bases on the lunar surface (bruce sees all – youtube – has the most recent and imo, excellent footage).
all of the planets here – the sun – the moon – are simulations of the real thing. i have an inner knowing that where i have once created, we had real sun(s) and moons and other planetary objects. and they worked WITH us – not against us. they were beneficial. helpful. not used for some nefarious purpose.
it’s so sad ~ if this is all a giant simulation, so much of it is really beautiful. still struggling w/the totality of that concept. at this point i feel like that television show during the 70’s – where 3 people came on stage, all claiming to be the same person. 2 were “fake” – one was authentic. i am ready to state “will the REAL x y z please stand up now”. waiting around, trying to decipher the truth of what is real and what isn’t ~ kinda done with that part of the journey.
the real planets – that is what i focus on now. what is REAL. i call them forth.
i pause as i re-read these words. i reflect. who i am – where i was in the beginning of this journey, who i am today. i try not to hold beliefs any longer but rather, go within and feeeeeeeeel what resonates. in doing so, i remain fluid, not fixated on a particular outcome so strongly i forget to bend when i need to bend, expand and change course when i need to do that as well.
today i felt – again – some grieving – feeling i am about ready to say good-bye to what once was. how will this look upon transition? who and what will i see? who will i not see? i get that way – kinda comes w/the package that is me – even upon a good change i mourn. and it isn’t mourning what has hurt necessarily, but mourning the moments of beauty and purity – mourning the love that has been mixed in with the lack of and…(deep breath)…realizing how i could have been more present in those moments of divine love, purity. so much distracts me – such a ridiculous program i took on.
i am also seeing and sensing deeply the preciousness of life. the innocence – my innocence. that has been very present in my mind and in my heart.
as far as physical stuff, a sense of clumsiness is in the air – affecting all in this household to varying degrees. moving the vessel slower and with intent/focus is quite important now. had another glass breakage – this time a glass candle holder my mate and i bought once upon a time when it was just the 2 of us. it was always placed outside – sometimes we would put a tealight candle in it, lite it and sit outside. it felt strange – feels strange – seeing it break. all my mate did was touch it w/the broom – he was sweeping away some cobwebs. the thing immediately fell and i swear, shattered into hundreds of pieces out in the gravel. as my mate said “it’s as though it wanted to leave. maybe it’s a representation of what is happening to this realm.”
i could not argue against that. possibly, i said, as i paused and reflected while i helped him clean up the broken glass. so emotional right now – just reliving the experience, typing these words, i feel the emotions well up in my throat. it’s been a ride – one in which i know many if not all of us wish to end and go forth on a new adventure. adventureS. for now, remembering the innocence and preciousness of love and connection. because, you know, those moments ~ that’s what matters more than anything.
love,
victoria
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