I woke up feeling it. It’s intense. Feels horrid. Fake or not, I’m about ready to emotionally explode. Lifted weights. Yoga. Walk. Anything to distract. Continue to stay up until the dawn almost rises – just for some peace and quiet. I need a new place to live. N O W.
My donations for both sites down 85%. Resumes going ignored. Appt on Tuesday to get put on a waitlist. And I’m told to trust the plan while I have bills to pay not getting paid. I go from panic to numb now – not much in between. When I just want someone to hold space for me and tell me everything will be ok. You know? So I hold it for myself these days. National Women’s Day only brought up stories of my past of being sexually assaulted, harassed, abused, controlled, and told I’m not enough as a woman in all ways. 40 years of this. It’s all caught up with me. I really need some safe people showing up at my door. I know I’m not alone. I’m not trying to hog the emotional stage. I’m just truly deeply feeling too much God damn pain I never wanted and was too damn afraid and controlled or under the illusion of control, who knows – does it really matter? I would like to see some justice – seeing all of these stories about these women and children who have been victims of trafficking and horrific rape crimes – without seeing a parade of perp walks – is really fucking getting to me. I cannot imagine what it has done to the victims.
🙏
Victoria
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https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-08/latest-oil-market-news-and-analysis-for-march-9
https://www.aljazeera.com/economy/2026/3/9/oil-soars-past-100-a-barrel-amid-iran-war
I am utterly failing at this – when I am in a loving supportive living situation – at least one that is quiet – I can get back it.
I’m wondering – after that donaldo trumpo channel showed an image of Barron being crowned the next Leader of Iran – what if Barron is playing the new dude?
I’m there.
The energy to silence us is repulsive. You know what I have been told? “You’re not the only one,” or “men get raped too.” No shit and DUH. That does not make it OK to silence or belittle anyone who has been subject to sexual assault. E V E R.
