Anyone else relate?
It is so intense some days now – I don’t want to shower (but I do). I look at crumbs on the floor and kick them under my stove. I’m not even much into walking or biking some days. NONE of this is who I have been here all along. Something is shifting quickly in recent weeks. It’s like I’ve had these moments before over the last many years – starting around 2017/2018 – but they were very few and far in between. And now – perhaps due to this time traveling business – SOMETHING along that line – such moments are coming in more frequently and they don’t seem to be totally shifting out and away – which is a first. In fact, I keep remembering back to a time when I remember feeling REALLY great – it was the month of July, but I can’t recall the year. I want to feel like that again. And yet even on my good days, it just ain’t happening at the level in which I seek.
The process now just isn’t about obtaining mental knowledge of this reality – but more about becoming more energetically misaligned WITH it. An invisible awakening you could say as in there isn’t anything left to see now. I’m sensing this is the next level.
It was recently suggested that I get out and live my life. And yet – my body’s ability to be around anyone not awake is so uncomfortable now. Even once normal, pretty enjoyable places I would go are not vibing with me. It’s like I look out at the world and as I ponder “ok where to go today” I feel like there’s literally no place I really want to be. No place I now “fit in”. Other than in silence. Absolute silence.
I’ve begun saying “fill the space with silence”. Peaceful Quiet. Not noise. Not mindless talking. Just – S I L E N C E.
Obviously, this has been a process – a very very long process for many of us – but it has taken on a whole new level for me – with my sensitivities having gone through the roof. Immediately triggered by what doesn’t align, I currently feel like I am rather a lost Soul without a Home to anchor to. So – I anchor with myself. Within. And the occasional conversation with someone who just “fits”. It’s honestly all I’ve got atm.
And it isn’t as though I’m really lost much less that I am unanchored – not attached to a thing. Lately I have gone in and gone in and tuned in and just stayed with myself – often in wee hours of the morning – alone. I tune in to get some sense of where is this all goin’ – where am I going IN it – and I get NOTHING.
N A D T (not a dang thing).
This started for me several weeks ago and at first it scared me.
Then I wondered if I was starting to go crazy.
Now? I’ve rather just surrendered into that space. Where I want to sleep. Oh god how I want to sleep. And sleep. And sleep. I saw many others say in recent days they are sleeping like 12, 13 hours. And then napping. I’m not sleeping that many hours – but I know I certainly want and need to.
The energies are intense – and very fast moving. Looking back even to Christmas – just 4 months ago – feels like a different timeline/energetic space – as well as it feeling like it was a long. time. ago. Rather than being a more current memory it feels like a forgotten room, fading away. This is why I continue to say – mostly on social media – that what is happening is far beyond politics and money. NCSWIC truly is our moment of liberation – a detachment. Then BOOM – we’re back where our Soul fits. That is what my body continues to communicate to me.
And it is that in which I listen.
For now…
💖
Victoria
