My Music

Here are a few of my originals, as linked from Soundcloud.  These are rough recordings, meaning no editing.  I have been playing since I was 4, composing for almost 25 years.  Please enjoy and comment if you feel inclined.  


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My child and I headed out for a walk today.  It was raining but we didn’t let that stop us.  Daily walks are something we just do, regardless of the weather conditions.

There is a nice spot we often head to that leads to a giant Sequoia tree. Obviously out of it’s natural environment, it nonetheless has a commanding presence.  As I have been a lifelong lover of trees, the proverbial tree-hugger, I easily came to believe in my younger years that trees talk to us if only we open ourselves up to their messages.  I have received numerous messages from this tree.  Today’s message was quite appropriate.

Greeting the tree, putting my hand on it, I said if it had a message for me, I was listening.

“Transformation,” was what I heard.

Hmm, I thought.  Interesting.  Anything else, I telepathically communicated.

“Be like me,” I then heard.

Be like you, I thought.  I pondered that for a few moments before the cold rain reminded me that unlike the tree, I needed warm shelter and food so we headed home.  As we walked home, my child asked me what message I received and asked me to clarify.

“I’m not sure,” I said.  “But I do know trees don’t worry about getting their needs met.”  I paused before adding “then again, they don’t have to. They have no bills to pay!”  By this time I was rather cold, hunger was setting in and my mood had soured some, so walking home, I forgot about the experience.

Earlier this evening, my spouse and I watched a brief video on crystals, the resonance of the earth and our human bodies.  It was stated that at one point, when the earth resonated at 10 hz, we reached a crystalline state physically and more or less, became ageless beings.  This is also known as ascension.

After the video, I composed an e-mail to a friend, sharing the experience with the tree, watching the video and then I also recalled an experience I had earlier in the shower, where I was guided to nurture myself the way I would a newborn during this time.  During this e-mail composition, my child brought me a drawing she had made that included the sun, a picture of her and, as she put it, “your favorite tree, mama”.

Bingo.  Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle came together.

Our bodies are undergoing transformation.  We are changing from carbon-based to crystalline base.  As the earth’s frequency continues to rise (hovering near 9.0 for awhile now), our bodies continue to change. And much like the newborn who undergoes rapid cellular development, it needs a lot of love, rest/sleep and care.  To be treated like a baby.

And like the tree communicated, we are being called to just Be.  Just Be where we are. Just Be how we are.  Just be Who We Are.  Now.  And let the transformation happen.


A Lesson in Being Fully Grounded In Who I Am

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I had an experience yesterday that both shook me up and taught me some valuable lessons.

I was visiting a friend during the day.  She has spirit beings who hang out at her place and are active mostly at night.  They are quite loud and sound like people walking on the roof/ceiling.  It distresses her dog who runs around, whining and barking.  During a certain point in the conversation, the talk turned to religion.  I noticed the loud walking noise began and thought “that’s odd – normally this occurs at night.”  So as I shared my point of view, which is utterly opposed to religious dogma and control, the noise grew louder and more frequent.  The dog was really going at it by now.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, I felt a real depletion of my energy and with that, nausea.

“Whew,” I said, leaning back into the couch, taking a breath.  “I’m suddenly really tired.  I think I may need to go home and take a nap.”

With that came the feelings of spaciness and detachment.  If I was grounded in any way prior, I suddenly was not.  And yet I didn’t fully notice this- a habit of mine I have been working on changing.  If I had been grounded or had taken the time to do so, I would also have noticed that after this attack – the noise calmed down significantly (something I remembered later on).

A few moments later, I left, returned home where I cleansed myself with frankincense, myrrh and cobal resin – just in case what I was starting to think happened (energy attack) did.  That helped out some but I knew I had more work to do.  For the rest of the day, I felt that sense of detachment and wasn’t sure what to do next.

That is until this morning.

I woke up to anger and lots of it.  This energy attack triggered in me deep feelings resulting from a lifelong pattern of being bullied and unable to do a thing about it at the time – only to experience those feelings of “hey this isn’t ok” AFTER the fact – if at all.  And much of the time, not saying a word to the offender. Not one damn word.

After I released some long held emotions and started to get some clarity, I determined that I would not be returning to my friend’s house until the beings are energetically removed.  I also sent out an energetic message to these beings that it was not ok what they did, would not be tolerated ever again and they were not allowed in my energy space.

Next, I went over the experience in my mind and changed it up.  Instead of seeing myself as sitting there, stunned and passive, I saw myself say “what the heck just happened here?”  Then I analyzed how I felt and gave myself permission to ground and go within to come to the conclusion(s) at that time instead of some future date or in front of a counselor years later. Lastly, I sent out the message to this being at the time that their behavior was not tolerated and had NO effect on Who I Am.

And finally, I thought about my stone of protection I wear daily – my black tourmaline.  I also have them all over my house.  These stones help protect against negative energy.  Why didn’t it work yesterday, I thought.

The answer was immediate and obvious.

These stones can only do so much.  Such a stone is only as powerful as is the human wearing it.  And if the human is not solid in Who They Are and grounded, the stone can only offer minimal protection.  Such objects are there as back-ups.  I Am my Main Source of protection.

Lesson(s) learned.



Starseed Birthday Wish: In Desperate Need of a Vacation

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I’m going to be 51 next week.

For my birthday, I would like a vacation.  Of the permanent kind.

A permanent vacation from the ongoing pressure of making money.

A permanent vacation from being criticized and judged.

A permanent vacation from bullies.

A permanent vacation from having to swim through a sea of illusions and guesses disguised as fact/truth only to be told we must use Discernment, a convenient passive/aggressive response.

A permanent vacation from pseudo-relationships.

A permanent vacation from enslavement to all things that require us to pay ridiculous sums of money in order to feed ourselves/shelter ourselves/keep ourselves warm, educated and alive.

A permanent vacation from LIES.

A permanent vacation from health issues, an aging body, mind and soul.

And while I am intending all of these Realities every single day, I will take a temporary vacation for that birthday, please.

Someplace warm.  Sunny.  24/7 access to room service, maid service, and massage and energy healings.  Complete with nanny services.

Someplace quiet.  To contemplate.  To write.  To meditate.  Without distraction.  To nap for days and days if I so choose.

On a beach.  Surrounded by lots of trees.

A L O N E.

My journey has been a bitch, a bastard – take your pick.  I shall be writing a book about it.

I haven’t had a vacation in almost 10 years.

I am tired and worn out.  Burned the fuck out in more ways than one.

Done.  Finished.

And yet, hopeful too.  A growing hope at that.

So yes, Universe, for my birthday, please send me a vacation.

I would be most grateful.


Welcoming In 2017


The year the dark ones are gathered up and sent to Saturn.

The year for disclosure.

The year for reunion.

The year for the release of prosperity funds.

The year for the release of free energy devices and replicators.

The year for the release of healing technologies that heal and restore us to any age we wish, quickly, easily and painlessly.

The year for TRUTH.

The year for celebration and renewal.

The year we meet again with our galactic brother’s sister’s friends and family.

The year this woman gets her flying ship!  (Enough dreaming and pretending my human made automobile can fly.  Girl is ready to fly her ship again!)

The year I can talk about this with anyone and everyone without being given “the look”.


The year for transformation.








I am ready and intending.

I hope you are too.


On Money and Judgment

moneylesssocietybethechangebuildthechangeA couple of things I have read recently on money have given me reason to write this piece.  The first author stated the opinion that we are to master money while in 3D, implying there will be no ascending until that skill is mastered.  The second author was writing about the currency re-set/reval, stating that those who were believing it to be released to the public were naive and it was time to learn about money.

To begin with, I admit I know little about money.  I have actually had a love/hate relationship with it.  Hated – always hated – I had to make it. Always hated once I do make some, someone is telling me I have to give it to them to eat, have a place to live, keep myself warm, clothed and the like.  And yet, likely due to social brainwashing, I have had a near-obsessed mindset in making it.  And yet, I have struggled in this regard. Desperately.  In a nutshell, I don’t understand money.  Don’t resonate with money management.  I got a “C” in my college economics class and to this day, I don’t know how I pulled off that little miracle.  I had a blank stare for each and every lecture and I yawned myself into more than one nap.  To this day, I am not interested in the stock market or investing.  It repels me.  It’s all rigged anyway and because I have been ready-set-go wanting a cashless (meaning resource-based), more evolved society since I was about 19, I have simply not had the mindset much less the patience for money.

I look at it like swimming or any other skill acquisition.  Some will have a better mindset and ability for it.  In fact, let’s use playing the piano as an example.  This is something I excel at.  I spent the first 3 years of my life listening to my mom play little tunes for me on the piano.  One day, I toddled over to the piano, climbed up and began playing what she had been playing.  Without lessons.  I had the intuitive, innate ability to understand that instrument, which many claim is the hardest one to master.  For me, it’s been easy.

Expecting someone to understand money and “master” it, as I said the author in the one piece I mentioned said we were here to do, is as ridiculous as expecting someone to master the piano.  I can guarantee that I can teach someone how to play the piano and chances are, they would not come close to having the same ability as I do on that instrument.  In fact, most simply would give up.

But in this reality, in this 3rd dimensional system of monetary crap, we are all expected to master money.  If you fail, you are judged.  Harshly – even among those in the new age and ascension communities.  I have encountered it.  I have often asked some of the healers if they offer a sliding scale fee on their services.  I have yet to find one who does.  Some have become offended (asking why I would ask such a thing) or offered up the excuse that “well you need to be in alignment with the Universe and the money will flow.”  Ok.  So when someone who is homeless desires a place to live and lacks the funds, we’ll just push them back out into the streets and tell them to intend better thoughts.

This is not the thought process of an enlightened being, in my opinion.  Or in my heart for that matter.

Then there is the topic of the currency revaluation.  I don’t see such folks following this as naive.  I see them as desperate.  Hopeful.  Perhaps some with hearts so pure they have not been tarnished by money.  And at the very worst, lacking in the skilled mindset of money management.  So this makes it ok to judge them?  If the currency revaluation is really not meant for the public, let’s not judge those who are hoping and wanting it to be so.  After all, it is long past due for the elimination of poverty, for a global financial jubilee, for a return of the wealth that has been stolen for eons. If there is indeed disinformation being spread on this topic, let’s not go after the desperate populace.  Let’s take the judgment and attack to those spreading the disinformation.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this:  Who do we really want to be?  Do we want to be an enlightened, ascended Being?  If so, then let’s stop this pointless judging of those who lack the knowledge and skill and mindset of money and money management.  It is a skill.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Some are better at it than others.

Using my piano analogy:  Would it be fair of me to judge others who cannot play that instrument the way I can?  Of course not.

So let us not judge those who lack the skill of understanding money and money management.  5d reality has no place for judgment or duality. Instead let us create, together, a System where knowing and mastering this skill is not necessary for survival.

THAT is the mark of a True Master.  

Using Discernment In A Sea Of Illusion

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I don’t know about you, but I found myself in a state of absolute frustration and weariness, waving the white flag, in my attempt at getting some Truth on several issues.  The RV/financial reset for one.  Redeeming certain bond notes.  Disclosure.  Arrest of the cabal. Even ascension and the steps we are to take to “get there”.

What inspired me to write this piece today was reading a writing that states in order to go through Ascension in a successful manner, one MUST have the following treatment(s) done.  Then I read further about these healing methods – all of which require you to fork over several hundred dollars.  No mentioning of doing this for free or a reduced amount.  No mention of even a donation option.

Excuse me for being, well, a decent human being, but isn’t the idea of Ascension about Love – expanding that energy?  So as such, wouldn’t that mean if you have some TOOL to offer humanity to assist in this process (and according to these folks, without this TOOL you ain’t ascending), you want to make sure to offer it to anyone who needs it?  Aren’t we all in this journey together, more or less?  Yes and yes!

Such folks are out for money first and foremost and as such, aren’t Of The Light, for lack of a better term.

Then there is the whole RV/Nesasa/Gesara issues which have so many people feeling left out, confused and disappointed.  It’s as though these folks pushing it are claiming to have magical answers while waving a magical carrot in front of the masses faces only to pull it away when the masses get too close.  After that experience we are told, once again, to be patient.  Hurry up and be patient, is more accurate.  You don’t do that to the people – fill them with a sense of hope only to pull it away then present it all over again.  You don’t do this to humanity, who have been needlessly suffering for far too long under this current debt/monetary enslavement system.

Shall we talk about the arrest of the cabal now?  We shall.  I have been hearing “intel” (a term I use loosely) that major parties are under house arrest for a long while now.  I have heard where minor parties have been arrested.  Many say “arrests are coming folks be patient”.  Last I checked, if any private citizen committed some of the horrible crimes these beings have, they would be immediately locked up and held, without bail, until their trial.  Sounds like either this is just a big grand deception or these elite are continuing to receive their “special treatment”.

Then there is Disclosure.  Apparently only a select few are privy to any sort of information on this topic.  The latest talk has centered around the idea of “partial disclosure” – as though full disclosure would be too much for humanity.  Last time I checked, the majority of us are adults, capable of making that decision for ourselves. “Partial disclosure” simply means “more of the same lies and dark”. But those pushing this agenda are pulling the “hurry up and be patient” agenda.

Then there is the whole Zim note story.  Supposedly you buy some African Zim notes and any day now, we will be able to redeem them for amazingly high exchange rates.  Not today though.  But this will happen by next week.  Really it will.  Next week comes and goes and get spoon fed the same crap.  Every few days there are pieces that, once again, fall under the “hurry up and be patient” mentality.

I certainly cannot be the only one screaming “EITHER PISS OR GET OFF THE POT” at this point.  Wait?  Wait for what?  As Jimmy Stewart’s character in It’s A Wonderful Life, George Bailey so beautifully said to Mr. Potter (metaphor for today’s banker/elite/cabal):

Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they’re so old and broken down that they… Do you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?

This is about treating people the way you would want to be treated. This is about providing people with the TRUTH – WHEN you have it. This is about SHARING what you have so that it helps EVERYONE, not just a select few who happen to have enough pennies saved up. This is about saying “I DO NOT KNOW” when you really don’t.

This whole ascension/end of darkness/new financial system, etc. etc. has created a sea of filth, of those longing for their 10 minutes of fame, of creating websites in order to make a nice little profit and who cares if what they share is true or not.  And yet we the masses are supposed to use our Discernment.  How convenient.  And what a cruel thing to put on a trusting person.

Enough.  This is more “blame the victim” mentality that TRULY has no place in an ascending populace.  How about instead of allowing these folks to continue to share their perception of Truth, we make it clear on a few things:

  1. No more guessing games.  Intel must be truthful and accurate.  If one doesn’t know for sure, SAY IT.
  2. Got a service to offer humanity that will offer healing?  Offer it in such a way that ALL who seek and are in need can benefit.
  3. No more mentioning of financial paradise and debt relief until the deal has been done and there is visible PROOF of said deal.

Some of us are tired of using our Discernment.  Some of us are fed the fuck up with getting our hopes up only to be let down again. Some of us are absolutely ready and willing to heal parts of ourselves with means and methods that are not provided by mainstream but just because we lack the funds does not mean we are any less deserving.  Pro bono work, people.  Incorporate that. Please.  With Truth. With Love.

Anything else means you’re just continuing to serve the dark.  And we can ALL admit we have had far enough of that.


Weary Starseed Human Gets More Insights and Shares Them With You

life-e1427460354744Earlier today someone on my facebook feed posted the question, “What if life is really like the movie The Truman Show”?  Interesting question – one I have asked myself.  Later this evening, as I watched a video on Tesla, a clip from The Truman Show was presented, making the comparison that our Reality is a giant illusion just as presented in the movie.  I had also heard today that Antartica is an illusion but a further explanation was not forthcoming, so naturally I was intrigued to learn more.  The Universe helped me with this.

Later in the evening I tried accessing Antarctica on google maps with the “earth image” option.  However doing so I was told the entire continent has no images for me to zoom in on.  Universe wasn’t done yet helping me out.  If that weren’t enough, a friend of mine just “happened” to inform me a brief time later that viewing Antartica on google earth, when viewed from underneath or the bottom of the earth, you cannot see the rest of the earth.

When the Universe speaks to me in duplicate or triple, I know to pay attention – especially when it is combined with numerical patterns, which today was INSANE with them.  111, 1122, 1211, 311, 911, 1111 – you name it folks I have been seeing the #11 everywhere I look and today was off the charts.  Also had a paranormal experience that we refer to as “ding dong ding dong”.

I am going to risk my reputation (as though I have one – LOL) and say the following.  Well wait, let me first quote Tesla instead then I will give you my theory of what’s going to happen with these incoming energies, especially the one expected to hit within the next 6-7 days.

NIKOLA TESLA: “Earth is a realm, it is not a planet. It is not an object, therefore, it has no edge. Earth would be more easily defined as a system environment. Earth is also a machine, it is a Tesla coil. The sun and moon are powered wirelessly with the electromagnetic field (the Aether). This field also suspends the celestial spheres with electo-magnetic levitation. Electromag levitation disproves gravity because the only force you need to counter is the electromagnetic force, not gravity. The stars are attached to the FIRMAMENT.”

Makes you question your reality doesn’t it?  I know when I have watched the skies, for years I have felt I am inside of some dome, a part of some experiment, and the stars and planets are not at the distance NASA and mainstream scientists claim.  That intuitive feeling (of which I have a Phd in) has lead me to others who share the same pov – only these folks back up things with real science and awesome, thought-provoking questions.

The “veil” between dimensions has been weakening.  Both science and spirituality tells us that.  That is why we are seeing more “strange” things – unicorns, dragons, even the object Nibiru.  UFO sightings are off the charts as well – begging the question: are some of them, perhaps most, dimensional as well? Heck, a friend of mine insists she and her friend saw a werewolf this past summer.  She is not one to lie much less exaggerate.  All previous examples I believe are dimensional objects that we are finally being privy to seeing because of this weakening.  Each energetic wave, or pulse, whatever you wish to call it, weakens the energy grid between the dimensions.  Those who are more “awake”, thus operating at a different vibrational frequency from those who are still in slumberland, are more likely to have such experiences.  Speaking for myself, the more I have expanded my mind, the more out-of-the-norm experiences I have had.

So without further ado, do you want to know what I think is going to happen with this incoming blast of plasma energy? The big one? The mother of all energy blasts that has even system scientists worried?

The grid is gonna collapse and we’re gonna see the truth of where we are.

What say you fellow travelers?

Ascension Symptoms Update: 12/11/16


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One word for today:  WOW.

After having moments of bliss lately and feeling quite well, overall, feeling stronger, more grounded, more empowered, where it is becoming easier to stay focused on what I want, I was hit hard today.

I was drying my hair, reading and chanting a mantra I say now and then – although today I said it with full intention and meaning.  “I accept and integrate all of the healing and clearing that has been sent to me.  So be it and thank you!”  I said that a few times very enthusiastically then felt a burst of energy go through me which sent me into a state of bliss and a rush of energy only to then suddenly experience major dizziness, then I felt my blood pressure drop and I thought I was going to pass out. Immediately I dropped to my knees on the floor, heart pounding, and just remained still until the feeling passed.  I then got up and felt exhausted – as though my pilot light had gone from a bright light to a pathetic little flicker.

I went about my day as best as I could.  Sinuses an inflamed mess. Fluid in my ears.  Throat scratchy.  Then my back began to ache although I was able to deal with that with heat and yoga stretches.  I then suddenly had bizarre knee pain – in both knees – a new experience.  Massaging my feet handled that.

I purged a lot emotionally.  Oh god I am so tired of that.  Why can’t I just let it all out in one full releasing cry??

I felt drugged – heavily lethargic.  Again – so tired of having that experience as well.

I read today – and have intuitively felt as well – that if we were to absorb all of the incoming energies at maximum capacity, it would be too much for our physical bodies to absorb.  As Ellie’s father in Contact tells her, “Small steps Ellie.  Small steps.”  I also read where other dimensional’s and galactics are helping to absorb some of this energy so that it has the least negative impact on our bodies.  I get that now.  I got that today.  I asked for a full bucket of energy – I got it – I loved the experience for a moment – that is until my body said “whoa there circuit board overload” and I about lost consciousness for a moment.

Ongoing note to self:  Must respect body.  And use discernment when stating intentions for oneself.

I needed today.  As long as I have been following this ascension topic and been on my own journey, at times I have questioned whether all of this supposed incoming energy was real event or perhaps if the energy is “real”, was it really changing our physical bodies? Today told me “indeed, yes”.  Humbling moment number 2472.

When is all of this going to just end?  When we ask it to perhaps? Am I really up for this experience?  I have moments where I wonder if I am – moments like today where I find myself asking “is this what it’s like to die?”  Ugh.  That being said, I can honestly say I would deeply regret giving up now when I’m so close to the finish line so I keep on keeping on.

Love, gratitude and respect to myself and to you fellow traveler’s as well.


No One Can Tell You Who You Are

neotruthI have had two experiences this week where I was letting others define me.  I had reached out to a couple of people, inquiring as to who I am on this Ascension journey as well as my purpose.

Both responses disappointed me.  Why?  Well, because I didn’t get the answer I had originally wanted and expected to receive.

So I let myself sit with that for awhile.  The disappointment.  The pain. Until earlier today when I was in the bathroom.  I often receive clarity when I am either in or around water.  In fact, people close to me know to listen when I say I received a message in the bathroom as that is the one place I receive most of my Insights.

I had a visual of Neo from The Matrix.  He has just visited the Oracle, inquiring as to whether he is “The One”.  He isn’t quite sure Who He Is much less what is Role is in his new-found Awakening.  Here is a portion of their conversation:

The Oracle: But you already know what I’m going to tell you.
Neo: I’m not the one.

The Oracle: Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you’re waiting for something.
Neo: What?
The Oracle: Your next life maybe, who knows? That’s the way these things go.

There are many ways to read this conversation, many metaphors we can follow. However, my point in bringing up this conversation is that, in the end, only Neo can determine Who He Is.

It doesn’t matter where he came from.  It doesn’t matter what the Oracle or Morpheus or Trinity or anyone else thinks.  Neo and Neo alone comes to the Truth of who he is. (You need to be familiar with this movie to understand what I just said.  If you haven’t seen The Matrix, by all means get online and watch it.  It is an amazing metaphor for the Ascension/Awakening process we are experiencing.)

Back to my experiences.  I gave away my power by letting another person define me. Only I can do that.  Lesson one.
And lesson two – even if the other person(s) insight held from Truth – that’s ok.  It’s ok for me to alter my stance and position in Who I Believe myself to be if their words resonate.  Maybe I’m not as important as I thought I was.  Or maybe I’m more important.  Maybe my purpose isn’t as grand as I once believed.  Or maybe it is beyond my imagination of grandness.  Who knows?  In the end, NONE of this really matters.
It doesn’t matter what labels or beliefs or titles I believe I hold.  What does matter is that I am here to Serve.  That I am here to stand with the rest of you, in whatever way I can, in whatever way feels authentically right to me, so that we can all heal and help ourselves and one another as we awaken to our own Truth and bring forth a New Era on Gaia.  For we are ALL The One.