Just reflecting in this one.  Finds later.  Seems to be a “move” day as compared to yesterday’s “countermoves” – at least out on the public stage.  (or vice versa depending on who is behind the “move” and who is behind the “countermoves” – I could have it backwards)

Which leads me to the first feeeeeeeeeeel.  The movie.  Mirror.  Is this “movie” in part showing us that we are in fact inside of a reality that is nothing more than a movie?  Lots of talk about that – big outlets, etc. – but who really dives into that one with DETAILS?  Not much here feels real.  We know in our quiet moments and in our Hearts that there is so. much. more to not just who we really ARE but how we are frigging supposed to be living/doing/Being.

Which leads me to my next feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel – how painful it really is for all of us who are awake to these ideas – these truths.  I notice how the more I open to something the more it goes from being the idea to the Truth – from the thinking to the Knowing.  And that makes for a very uncomfortable state in which to exist – especially lately.  It’s a frequency thing.  As a friend of mine pointed out – when you wake up and Know – your natural Frequency doesn’t align with your surroundings – what you see – how this reality is operated – the systems – all of it.  And that’s really uncomfortable.  (and I also wonder – if there are enough of us in that state – how is it sustainable for that space to continue much less how is it sustainable for our own Energy Body to exist in it?)  Which is why I have so much empathy for those who struggle so much to “keep up the vibe”.  We can make the effort and fake it – but once you’re awake that faking no longer works the way it once did.  When you Know you Know.

And when you Know you want new – you not only want it you NEED it.

It’s a deep inner Soul Calling.

For Freedom.

To return to the frequency it knows.

Some call this place hell.

Others purgatory.

Does it matter?

We aren’t where we align.  WE KNOW THIS.

We FEEEEEEEEEEEEEL this.

Maybe that’s the next step in all of this – to be completely transparent authentic and downright honest – without exception – no more putting on a smile when everything within is screaming for Freedom.  That’s what is behind claustrophobia issues that plague most everyone here to varying degrees.

Isn’t this about Awakening to the Truth – not just out there – but in here (touching my heart center)?

How we “get out” – break free – well I continue to feeeeeel it’s a process of removal – disconnecting.  And that knowledge is deep – that’s one deep arse rabbit hole.

My feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels for now.

Love,

Victoria

******

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Everything is going up – again.  Utility bills arriving.

My income – not keeping up.

I’m in debt again up to my eyeballs because I thought this monstrosity of a plan would be over by now.  I’ve done what I’ve had to do just to survive.

I feel alone and invisible.

I feel if something happened to me – I’d be on my own.  The few in my life who would want to help are in the same/similar situation.

I get told what to do – all sorts of useless advice – while my own words get ignored by the same.  Total discounting of me as a person.  NO. MORE. of those interactions and fake relationships.

SHARE MY WORK.

DONATE IF YOU CAN.

It’s that simple!

I am a real person here with real struggles and challenges.

I wear many hats.  MANY hats.

I’ve contributed with my heart and Soul to this awakening because it’s felt RIGHT (yeah I know bitching and lamenting along the way – but that is just part of who I am).

And that’s what hurts the most.  I’ve tried so hard to build community around my work.  And I feel I have failed.  It hurts me when I see someone share a find – something that I’ve shared or shared something similar and receive either no response or maybe 1 or 2 comments – and the other person gets a rally of people around them.  This just isn’t about ego.  It’s about Heart.  Soul.  And those parts of me need to know what I do is appreciated and seen and valued – regularly.  Basic human needs that are just not being met.

I know I’m not alone.  I’m just more vocal about it.  🙄😜😂

I’ll keep doing what I do here – even though my heart isn’t in it much at this moment.  I intend for that to change and just spent the last 20 minutes working with that.  But just like any other job – walking away would be a $$ mistake I can’t afford to take.  I need to eat!  And I honestly don’t know what else to do now.

For now – as always – if you come here – Please – Share my work on your social media accounts.  If you have some $$ means – even just one dollar – please also donate.  I’m so weary from asking.  (and those of you who already do – you know how I feel)

And as always – let me know if there’s something you need.  I’m always willing to share such things here.

Community.  That’s how we make it through this experience.

Thank you.  🙏

Love,

Victoria