Quick Update


I am rather quiet right now ~ dealing with some ugh bug.  That and this sudden heat and I am just down for the count for a time.  (5 days ago I was wearing winter coat, scarf and boots.  Today it was 93. !!)

I did create a $5 gig on fiverr if anyone is interested.  Very old Chinese Card Reading System.  Something I’ve been doing for fun w/self and friends/family for about 20 years.  Check it out here if you are interested.

For now, I am off to rest and heal.  Hope everyone is wonderfully well. ♥  

A Prayer

I wrote this a couple of years ago.  It gives me comfort during the challenges.  May it provide you comfort as well.  

Tea Lights, Church, Light, Prayer
Where there is regret,
let there be the Promise of the New.
Where there is anger,
let there be Forgiveness.
Where there is sadness,
let there be Hope.
And where there is fear,
let there be Peace.

Thoughts For Today ~ May 19, 2017


Well, I had it happen again.  Received information while in the shower.  I swear, I need a waterproof recording device so I don’t have to “hurry up and finish”, grab a towel and head out to write stuff down or record.  Is there even such a thing?  Who knows.

Anyway, so here’s what my higher self or whatever that part of me is that gets these pictures and images that come through my center like the speed of light, racing up to my brain, leaving it to try and put it together in some sort of a logical sounding story.

Separation is ending.  Unity/Oneness is incoming and will culminate with the flash.  The event.  Whatever label one wishes to put on it.  We will feel that Oneness again.  I have seen this.

This also means, as I have written on before, that our multi-dimensional Selves are merging back.  In fact, I also felt we can call on them now.  I did it myself at the time by calling on the part of me that is well and immediately elevated my mood.

This coincides with a vision I had a couple of nights ago during my late night meditations/intentions.  I wanted to know more about this multi-dimensional self stuff.  I asked for a metaphor as that is what I more resonate with.  It is easier for me to understand otherwise difficult-to-grasp concepts with metaphors.  In fact, it makes me laugh as I am a writer so I should like words, right?  Well I do like to put them together and form a story – quietly – on paper.  But speaking?  No.  I prefer and long for the realm where we can just project pictures if speaking with the vocal cords is not desirable, especially when I am struggling to explain something.  A not so unusual experience.

Anyway the metaphor I received was a pebble in a pond.  We have the pebble, which is fully Us, and each ripple is a representation.  Make sense? Good!  Then can you please explain it to me because I am still trying to wrap my mind around it.

Returning to the shower message.

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A Proclamation of Abundance


Agriculture, Abstract, Abundance, Art

I am inspired to write this.  What began as a conversation with my husband, resulting from a radio show, turned into me saying “I need to write this down and share it!”

The spiritual community, imho, seems to miss out on the abundance factor.  It is somehow lower vibrational frequency to WANT, well, stuff. While yes I agree we live in a mass consumerism-oriented society, that is not what I am talking about.  At least not for myself.

I am talking about me wanting to live in a spacious, beautiful, off-grid house that I OWN (no more enslavement to landlords and housing insecurity), complete with a flying car so I can travel between this home and my beach home.  That is a serious issue I intend regularly.  For if you have never lived with housing insecurity, it teaches you nothing and is one of those things that fall under “unnecessary suffering”.

I am talking about me wanting a baby grand in my living room and a music room with a couple of more guitars and percussion instruments and recording equipment so I can finally create my masterpieces.

I’m talking about wanting my own office space, a little cottage on the property where I can create in peace and quiet.

I’m talking about wanting to trade in these worn clothes and actually go on a little spree where I buy myself locally made, beautiful clothes that make me FEEL prosperous.  Or heck, I’ll get an awesome sewing machine, hire a sewing teacher, and make my own clothes!

I’m talking about using the health modalities that will heal myself and my spouse.  Such things include weekly massages and sitting in a sauna for a good soak.

I’m talking about buying a camper or small RV so we can take the family camping.

I’m talking about having beautiful dishes that match!

See where I’m going?

A point was made in the video tonight, a thought I have often pondered myself and that was the following:  part of our ascension includes being in a state of Abundance.  And for all that is good, why not have a release of prosperity funds for the good of all?  (Eventually we are headed to a society where there will be no more money.  Not necessary.)

Being in a state of Abundance is a challenge when you are living in poverty and/or living with health conditions that you are unable to treat properly due to not having the necessary amount of money.  And I get royally offended when I hear others blame the victim by telling them “You’re poor because of your thoughts.  Think thoughts of abundance.”

Yes, consciously careful focused thought is powerful and effective. Thinking and feeling thoughts of abundance.

However, in my heart of hearts, I just feel Love says “People suffering due to lack of money?  Give them money!”

There is AMPLE wealth for ALL to be PROSPEROUS.  Right now!

I will no longer fall under the illusion that Abundance is limited to this thought or that thought.  Or that wanting “stuff” – nice “stuff” – is somehow lacking in true spirituality.  I KNOW I have pushed money/wealth/financial abundance away from me by thinking small.


Abundance looks different to each of us.

There are no right or wrong ways about it.

So I agree.

What better way to instill Abundance – true, lasting Abundance – by sharing the wealth with ALL?

Sure, there will be some who squander it away irresponsibly.  Being able to respond to such wealth requires some thought.  And assistance.  (Good financial planners and the like for sure.)

However, I always hold out Hope that most people will do good by it.

So let’s imagine what we want for ourselves.  Yes – imagine the THINGS and STUFF you want.  No limits.  Feel it.

And KNOW you are worthy and deserving of it.  And the time is coming very soon for our liberation.

Our Core Wound ~ Separation


Train, Trip, Travel, Uzaklar, Railway

I read a piece tonight that says the Core Wound in us all is Separation.  Our Separation from Source Creator.  (it’s a long piece, btw – about halfway down it speaks of this core wound – also very interesting thoughts on new earth – much in alignment w/my own – a good read)

I felt that today.  Felt that separation.


As those of you who read my piece “Hurting” know (and thank you for those who did read it without judgement), I was feeling some serious stuff.  The vulnerable things.  Abandonment.  Needing love.  Support. Attention. Validation.  And yes, money too although it was more about what I stated previous.

Even though I openly express my feelings on this page, at times sounding wise, other times more like a scared, angry small child, I do take time to reflect.  Who wants to stay stuck in the mode of pain?  Not me!

Well, not for long that is.

So I spent most of the day crying.  Getting angry.  Then crying again. Then got to the point of writing it all out where I reached a point where I had no choice but to surrender so the wisdom could follow.  The Truth.

I feel alone.  Now, I have thought about this concept and felt a little bit of it here and there but today?  I felt the totality of it.  I suddenly felt completely alone.  Oh god, that was painful to feel.  Horribly painful. Gonna have to take that one in pieces.

I was in the bathroom taking out a load of laundry from the dryer when this little beauty overcame me.  Caught me by surprise, how strong it was actually.  “But wait, I’ve already dealt with this.  I KNOW I feel alone.” But I had to do more than just KNOW.  I had to feel.

Today, I peeled back a big layer.

Yes, I am under no illusion I totally transformed the core one.  I know it has more layers and many tentacles that bring forth and touch all of my issues.  (Can we have another word for issues please?  Any thoughts? It seems too cliche at this point.)  But I know without a doubt I finally reached it.  And given the moment of synchronicity tonight reading that piece that spoke those little words ~ that is the core issue for all of us is the pain and fear of being separate from Source.

Which has me thinking.  I have heard over and over from those in the spiritual community that this separation is an illusion.

And yet is it?

Isn’t it possible that it is both Truth AND illusion?

Certainly this controlled matrix, lower-frequency earth has certainly kept us unconscious and thus trapped, away from our full Awareness of Source, right?

Perhaps it’s like the concept of freedom.  There is no little bit of freedom. You are either free or you aren’t.  Maybe Awareness of Source is like that.

I look at it like a child who is taken from the parents only to be placed in a reality that is often scary, where the child is expected to behave in ways that are contrary to whom they are.  The LOVE of the parents is always there, always resonating out to the child.  But the new construct in which the child resides makes feeling that love more difficult with each experience until the child is left feeling absolutely abandoned and completely alone.

Not that we are children.  And not that we are separate from Source as we ARE Source.  However, separation was part of the control matrix creation. As Souls, we are simply accustomed, if you will, to being in Unity.  We knew of no other experience.  And while I am still not fully aware of or knowing of the story behind this separation, I do know, I do feel, this separation in my body.  And I know it has been a very long “time”, hundreds if not thousands of lifetimes of this separation.

And my intention is to return to this state of Unity by remembering fully Who I Am and healing those painful energies of separation.

And perhaps, like the beautiful scene in the movie Contact where Jodie Foster is communicating with the other-dimensional being, manifested in the form of her father, what makes the loneliness bearable is one another. This means sharing our vulnerabilities.  Sharing that pain and fear of separation with one another.

So sharing my words earlier today (where I hesitated for quite awhile before posting them ~ the vulnerability and concern/fear what others may think about me issues rearing their heads) set about a motion that lead me to this insight.

And for that, I am grateful.

Thank you for hanging in there with me as I navigate this ride.



I feel as though I am regurgitating the same crap.

I feel as though I am READING the same regurgitated crap.

I know what I want.

I know the New Paradigm I long for.

I know things are changing.  Moving.  Shifting.

I know these changes affect my physical being.

I know what to do when these changes appear.

I know I have no control over the new paradigm being created.

I know I have no control over the WHEN part.

Which leads me to tonight’s breakdown……..how do I let go of the $$ burden I am under being as I am still in this 3d matrix b.s.?


When it arises, I breathe, surrender, let go, do the mantra of trust.

Then it pops right back up again.


Pops back up.

You get the picture.

The breakdown in the kitchen…was powerful.

Frustrated over 25 years of trying to find my “place” out in the world.

Where I feel valued.

Where the gifts I have to share are valued.  Rewarded.

You know ~ enough to provide me a living.  Enough to pay for my expenses.  Enough to take care of myself.  On my own.  




Asking for help.

Wow – the asking for help part – usually ends up with someone offering me their version of what they think I should do without listening or hearing.

When I know one is in need of help, I ask “what do you need?”

Isn’t that what Love does?  It’s a no-brainer to me.

You just naturally go along with the silly notion that the person is capable of knowing what he/she needs.  So I ask: “what do you need?”

If I can provide it, I do.  If not, I don’t add insult to injury (by making myself feel better, a false illusion btw) by trying to take over and run the person’s life, violating their sovereignty by telling them what I think they should do.

This ain’t love speak.

Such an experience touches on that part of me that feels like a female alien, wondering just what I am doing here.  As I wrote earlier tonight, am I too just another person taking up space until this switch happens?

Maybe I am.  I don’t feel that.

I have dreamed about the switch.  I have seen it.

I intend it daily.

Until then, what am I supposed to do to make sure I have my basic needs paid for?  I have busted my lilly white daily, often working until 2am, to make this little gig work.  And as I have written about, it isn’t paying off.

It could if I had regular financial support via donations.

So what do I do?

Promote yet another idea (as I am doing)?

I see myself being able to continue this current lifestyle for another month unless something changes.  I have run the numbers.


I simply will not continue to pound my head against another wall.

I definitely will not knock on or pound on another door that is refusing to open.

As we now say in this house, if it ain’t easy, I ain’t takin’ it.

I have had enough of the go it alone, work hard matrix mentality.

It has served me nothing but a plate of exhaustion and disappointment.

So I don’t know how much more I have inside of me as I feel I have written enough about this ascension/new earth stuff.  And the last thing I want to do (because it annoys the crap out of me when other sites do this), is regurgitate the same basic stuff by changing some words around or adding in a new graphic.

I owe it to myself not to do that.

And I owe it to my readers.

All 10 of you.  lol  (how it seems lately so take it as a silly joke I include at the end of an otherwise weary piece of writing)

Can We Talk About The Weather?



Image may contain: text

I have a personal rule that says when the conversation turns to the weather, it has become too superficial for me and I am ready to move on.

Well, that is unless we can talk about how the sun and moon are off, or why don’t the constellations completely disappear if everything is supposedly constantly moving.  Etc. etc.

It’s sad to me to see people not want to dig deep… not want to speak about real topics that come from the heart and satisfy a deep innate need (that we ALL possess, consciously or not) for truth.

I still face situations where I am told “oh we don’t talk about that” or “I don’t want to really know about that”.  

I don’t think I have ever muttered any of those words in this lifetime.  

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Bringing Back All Of Our “Selves” Into The NOW


Sunset, Cloud, Meditation, Buddhism

I awoke this morning, and as I do most mornings when I awaken (and before I go to sleep a night), I check in to see what I am thinking in my brain and what I am feeling in my body.

Get quiet, focus and let go is the message I receive now.  All the time.  

As I laid there, went within, I felt that wonderful sinking feeling I get when I know I am detaching from outside and diving to Pure Inner.  Then my mate, who was still in bed as well, moved and made a noise.  I immediately jumped out of my zone and had the desire to put my right hand on him.  This is a habit of mine I have had for as long as I can remember.  Being in my own space, but if someone comes along and says something or does something, even if they don’t ask for my attention, I will drop what I am doing, in varying degrees, and switch my focus on the other person.

Learned behavior.  And while it is a useful behavior to implement at times, it certainly is not something that is authentically me.  It is based on the “I should” mantra of illusion.  And I have let that line of thought go.



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Ascension Symptoms Update For May 11, 2017


Freedom, Adler, Raptor, Flight, Fly

How ya’ll feeling?

Thought I would share what I am experiencing the past week.

*Spine pain.


*Really weird dizzy spells that happen when I stand up after sitting for awhile.  A few times I have had to either sit back down or place my hands on a nearby counter to balance out again.  I was a bit concerned about this until I read others were having the same experience.

*Headaches (mild – but a very unusual thing for me to experience so I am listing it)

*Feelings of Bliss are back.

*Feeling I am in two different worlds, literally half of me in this one and another elsewhere.  Yesterday I stood at the sink and said “where the heck is my other half??”  Grounding continues to be important ~ sometimes as simple as stopping whatever I am doing and taking a few deep breaths.

*Easier to release the fear and emotions I no longer want hangin’ around.

*Easier to see others from the heart.

*Easier to catch my judgments and let ’em go.  Well, the catching part is easier.  Letting go, still remembering how to do that effectively.  (I visualize whatever thought I am holding as a coat and I imagine it falling off my back.)

*Really focused on my Sovereignty.

*Focused on Remembering my latent abilities.

*Getting clearer on what I really want.

Freedom.  Love.  What else is there?  Both of those granted to every one of us unconditionally, we will create Paradise, together.

Today’s Thoughts

Sleeping, Child, Napping, Girl, Kid

Had some moments of clarity in the usual spot – the shower.

I have been engaging in an e-mail conversation with someone I was connected to who has a family member who is a best selling author. “Maybe this person can help with your book,” I thought.  So I went to work being a pest.  By being the squeaky wheel, I have persisted at this and today received a bit of grease.

That being said, I heard Self ask “What is it you really want?”

Is it money?  Fame?  Recognition?


There was something deeper.

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