Category: Daily Notes

I subscribed to an e-mail newsletter awhile back on finding your tribe. The guy claims to have found his on some ranch in the southwest.  Although reading further into his newsletters, he claims you can find your tribe anywhere you are.  Sort of like the “bloom where you are planted”.

I disagree.

While I have been able to find connection pretty much wherever I have lived, I have continued to have this longing for my tribe for as long as I can remember.  For those people who are not only like-minded but who totally and completely just “get” you.  You know what I’m talking about. You can talk about a subject or topic or feeling no matter how out there and you get the nod of the head.  The “me too!”.  The hug or pat on the hand.  And all of that just feels like HOME.  Nothing pretend about it.  You have made complete authentic 110% connection with someone.  You have found a part of YOU. Continue reading “Searching For My Tribe”

For far too long, the masculine energy has dominated this reality, creating imbalance in all lifeforms.  Masculine energy, when balanced, is protective.  It gets things done.  What we see today is the disease of imbalance – control, competition, greed, abuse and a blatant disregard for the well-being of others and all forms of life.

The feminine energy is nurturing and caring.  It is soft.  Supportive.  Feminine energy has been suppressed, largely because of how we value women and the roles we play.  This suppression comes into play as well when we look at those words – nurturing, caring, soft.  Those words are seen as “weak” and therefore of lesser value than the masculine roles of “get ‘er done” and “protection”. Continue reading “Return Of The Divine Feminine – Honoring Women And The Roles We Serve”

In my previous Daily Notes piece I mentioned my ego being the size of Texas.  Part of healing the ego is mastering acceptance.

I had a dream last night where I was in front of some apartment or hotel-like place.  I was needing to talk with a friend.  I was quite upset.  She arrived only to tell me now wasn’t a good time – she had someplace to be.

I remember feeling devastated.  Alone.  I was desperate for someone to hear me and comfort me.  And yet here I was in a place I have often found myself when experiencing such feelings – alone with seemingly no one to comfort me or listen.  I fully felt that pain in my body in my dream and as I sat down on the concrete ground and began to weep, I awoke.  I felt this achy heaviness in my body and this extreme fatigue that I carried with me until I headed to the park with my child where I grounded myself, journaled, wept and eventually let the rays of the sun warm and relax my tired body. Continue reading “On Acceptance”

I have an ego the size of Texas.  At times.  Growing up, watching the adults around me, I told myself it was better to be the one in control than the one being controlled.  I also, naturally, have a very strong will.  Put those together, and that is a classic cocktail for creating a monster of an ego.

Thankfully I also have some humility too.  And grace.  So those times when I feel attacked, not heard or validated and the volcano within threatens to overflow or, god forbid, blows up, I can just as easily be quieted with an olive branch presented with good intention.  What started as a raging inferno can quickly turn into a cool flow of sweet chocolate (and for those who know me best, it ALL comes down to chocolate). Continue reading “Ego, Ego, Wherefore Art Thou Ego?”

I remember in my 20’s reading an interview with Nicole Kidman. Speaking of relationships, she said, and I quote, “Monogamy is not natural.”  Those words resonated with me at the time, and I didn’t know why.  In fact, I was only 25, newly married myself, so I tried to convince myself she was some strange hippy who was into orgies – the only way at the time I was able to dismiss my interest in her words while maintaining my own illusion that I was some pious angel who never even thought of other men much less desired to connect with them in whatever way came naturally to me.

However, as I came to learn, once a chord of Truth is struck within, it never leaves you.

Never. Continue reading “Redefining Relationships”

I had a very interesting, passionate conversation with my neighbor about the right to self-govern.  He holds the belief that we need government to maintain civility, to solve poverty and to make sure our kids are off the streets and well-educated.  Interesting perspective, I stated, hand on my chin, pondering what he had said.

My mind began to form an opinion in response.  It took me a few moments as it often does.  Thankfully, for the most part, I have become much better at giving myself this necessary time instead of spouting off whatever comes to mind, which always leads me to feeling lesser about myself and with lingering regret. Continue reading “Is Humanity Ready To Truly Govern Itself?”

I receive messages when I am around water – usually when I am in the bathroom either bathing or standing at the sink.  I have had these experiences for almost 20 years and have learned to listen to them.  Sometimes the messages come from my higher self, other times they are from people who have passed over.  When I share them with others, especially if it is someone with whom I have never shared, I usually add a little caveat by saying “I don’t claim to be psychic much less a channeler.  I just get these messages.”  It isn’t that I do not believe in psychic abilities – quite the opposite.  We are all psychic.  We all have that gift of “knowing”.  It’s just been repressed by a variety of system tools, namely religion and education and family expectations.  However, once one has the slightest inkling of “remembering” who they really are, they can begin to work at pulling up that energetic source, giving it a tune-up with practice.  It never leaves us – we just temporarily forget it’s there. Continue reading “The Goddess Speaks”

Taking a break from the seriousness of my previous “daily notes” on grief, I decided to tackle a subject that makes my stomach and butt cheeks tense up:  misspelled words.  I’m old school.  I grew up during a time in which my English teachers were absolute sticklers for properly formed sentences, which included properly spelled words.  Being a natural-born rebel meant I would usually scoff at anything a person in authority would attempt to instill in me – just because I felt like it.  However, something in me agreed with these English teachers:  A paper with misspelled words was incomplete and downright awful.   Continue reading “Confessions Of A Spelling Nazi”

I did some art therapy outside today under our big poplar tree.  I got into this technique last fall and found it to be effective.  I began by drawing sad, crying eyes, writing all sorts of words that came to mind.  Tears. Loss.  My friend.  And then – Why?

Why her?
Why so young?
Then I thought of the Billy Joel song, “Only The Good Die Young.”
And paused.

Then, I picked up the black colored pencil.  Held it for a moment.  Black.  That’s a good color for anger.  Then wrote it out.  ANGER.

I AM ANGRY.
Black lines followed, all over the page.  I need more than just black, I thought.  I paused.
Then I picked up the red pencil.  Good color, I thought, drawing a rose with jagged petals and thorns.  Lots of thorns.
“Only the good die young,” I hummed softly.
Why is that?
Seriously, I want to know.  WHY? Continue reading “On Grief – Part 4 – Hello Anger”