Category: Daily Notes

perhaps a more appropriate title would have been “seriously ~ WHAT is happening to me” but given i continue to keep my focus on “staying the course” no matter how out there the course is, that is the title being used today.

this burping stuff is insane!  my child continues to have the same experience as well.  doesn’t matter what we eat.  i have some aloe vera juice i am using to soothe.

i was suddenly wide awake at 4am – stayed in bed until 5 – got up – looked outside and watched the sky for while.  it was daylight when i finally fell back asleep and slept in fits.  feeling like a slug today.  this vessel feels very heavy ~ gravity feels like it is pulling me down.  i did some exercise with my band (exercise band ~ not the musical type ~ ha).  i thought that would get some energy going on my body.  nope.  made me even more tired.  body screamed STOP GO CRASH.  so i flopped onto the couch for a few.

when i woke up today, my mood was rather low.  i have days where the fatigue within and the longing in my heart just overtakes me and i wish for a moment or two that i could be back to where i was 20-25 years ago.  fully engaged in the world, delightfully ignorant to how things “really are”.  the clouds were clouds – just kinda weird looking.  vaccines were good.  i could trust medical doctors.  i could trust our government and the news media people ~ they did have good intentions for us.  friends and family ~ always there for you.  and the solid belief that college degree i worked so hard for was gonna pay off big time and the working corporate world would embrace my enthusiasm and ideas of new and expansive.

ever feel like you have been bitch slapped by the world for just too #&*! long?

yeah, me too.

anyway so i was having one of those moments earlier upon rising.  i walked outside and notice the haze from the fires out west, filtering into our area of the country.  THAT is what is real, i thought.  focus on THAT.  these “forest fires” and who is creating them.  stop focusing on what you desire ~ on what you cannot yet see.  that isn’t getting you ANYWHERE.  get real and stop being a blind fool.  the thought “maybe i am being played by ALL of it” came over me.  a 25 year journey ~ an entire lie.  a lie within a lie.

so i came inside and sat down.  pondered this.  ok then let’s think about my favorite topic:  money.  what else now can i share with the world to make that shit?  lol  aside from drug dealing and prostituting (joking of course), what else is there new for me TO try?

blank.  my mind was blank as it has been for quite some time on doing something new/different “out there”.  this feeling of stuck and stagnant has to go.  i won’t have it.  it’s a seriously outgrown, too tight, too suffocating coat i remove and toss into the incinerator.

and yet here i am.  i am supposed to be the great creator who can figure this all out on my own.  and i have done quite well in doing that for most of my life.  i figure something out.  some doors open.  and in flows something new.

now?  wow – nothing new is flowing in.  NOTHING.

so here i am in this quandary ~ do i remain the course and have faith in what i have felt for so many years or do i get real again (whatever that means, to be honest and is it even possible for me to engage in that mindset now) and dig for something NEW out there in this realm/system as it is now?

so i go to my email box and one of you had forwarded me a message.  i’ll just cut and paste it:

received a few things in the shower.  i can now say i feel we are in the event. not pre-event but the real deal.  how long this lasts, well supposedly up to 4 weeks.  for myself i have felt 2 weeks for many months now.

one of you, i think it was sword, who spoke of your gi system acting the way it does when during the holiday’s you eat too much rich food.  very good description.  peppermint tea and a bite of banana are giving me grief.  seriously??  well i did have a feel the closer i got to transitioning i would spend a lot of time sleeping and right now given how i feel that is all i want to do – either that or just sit and stare at the trees and clouds.

had another experience of feeling like i was going to fall over.

i also thought of this whole “Q” thing ~ and had this thought that, at least for some of us, this is just one final movie we are watching on our way out. it’s one heck of a movie i will admit but i am starting to feel like it’s one of those movies that keeps going on and on – and you feel it should have ended by now.  here you are yelling at the screen saying “END THE DAMN MOVIE already!”

speaking of Q ~ there was a drop tonight about something BIG is about to drop.  there was also a post on reddit that spoke of no Q signs at tonight’s rally on pennsylvania.  i have a social media friend who said she was at the rally and the SS confiscated her Q sign and all others she saw.  i had a feeeeeling that this was for safety.  did any of you happen to see the brian williams piece on MSNBC about the qanon movement?  i will not fill up this divine space with that filth so if you wish to watch it, look up MSNBC on youtube and scroll through until you find the qanon conspiracy video.  it was posted yesterday (the 1st).  after the info these people shared, i can understand why the SS did not want the public much less the media to see people holding these signs.  given the threat already in place against POTUS, safety first.

sooooooooo speaking of movies i feel like i am at the end of the movie “war games” and after all of the chaos and trauma, the computer asks if they would like to play a “nice game of chess”.  that sounds quite lovely.

[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

v.

thank you to all of you who have written and commented.  about 20 minutes after i shared my lamenting piece, i suddenly felt a calm come over me.  it was quiet.  i felt as though someone/others had sent me some loving energy. i thought of you all and smiled.  thank you!  and….as i went to the store today, i could feel so many of you ~ i felt like we were carrying each other energetically.  that’s a first and it was a wonderful feeling.

i feel a little better ~ off and on strangeness in the body.  i got some mineral water to help.  craving for a watermelon and some ginger cookies so got those as well.  on the way to the store i turn on the radio and Purple Rain is playing.  at the store i decided to ask the clerks how they were feeling.  the words “weird body aches/tired/just feel weird” ~ indeed spaciness from one of them i witnessed.

as i got into the car, i asked for a gift of song.  i turn on the radio and the triumph song “magic power” came on ~ “she’s young now, she’s wild now, she wants to be free”.  in my heart, yes i am young and yes, i want to be free.

my child has fallen 3x today – continues to burp a lot.  the energies have not really been impacting her much – now i see they are whether she is aware of it or not.  forced quiet time/meditation is called for regularly now.

computer wonkiness too ~ perhaps i will have to stop this for awhile.  i have 2 backup computers i can use.  just weird electrical stuff going on.  i have heard others having the same experience.

we noticed the live meteor’s feed went crazy wild for at least 30 minutes.  a non-stop, loud signal.  i came home from the store and my mate is saying “come here and check this out!”  i recorded about 45 seconds of it – will upload and share here later.  it’s still showing a signal although it is weaker. so far only myself and another have commented ~ each saying essentially WTFrig??  lol

we are not in kansas anymore.  we are going Quantum – and quite quickly i would add.  thank you ~ all of you ~ for your love and support and for being part of my tribe on this journey.

victoria

wow ~ these body pains ~ unbelievable!  this is not normal for me.  i went to bed early and slept almost 13 hours.  still needing to sleep.  lower back ~ frig! mind tired.  heart heavy.  i cried for a long time this morning purging (again).  E N O U G H!  ok ENOUGH!  i am finding no joy here.  done with the waiting game.

making a meal.  shaking my head and wondering what the purpose of any of this is.  oh – of interest perhaps – as i lay in bed this morning crying i kept saying “i’m sorry” – over and over.  it was all i could say.

and that is all i feel i need or want to say now other than S O S!!

love,

v.

p.s. ~ anyone else gassy??  burping a lot??  even my girl is – burping a lot and she rarely, if ever, does this.

wow – this physical pain stuff continues.  i’m feeling it in my bones. bottoms of feet.  hips.  lower back.  hands cramping.  riding my bike normally makes me feel good ~ not the last 3 days.  seriously WOW!

bloating.  little appetite.  and the slug-sensation continues.  i feel most everything about me – from how i move to how i talk – is in slow motion.

watched a WSO/Steve Olson video tonight detailing the magnetics (will link it later).  serious pressure and a lot of ions smothering this realm.  as i mentioned to my mate earlier ~ it feels like we’re being radiated.

in the shower earlier i was contemplating “stuff”.  the concept of “heal thyself”.  this has often felt unfair to me ~ not that i don’t know we have this capability.  we do.  however much of that in our DNA was shut off so we are in a guessing game as to how to heal ourselves.  just like we’re in a guessing game on how to really create.  feels like walking/being/doing blind, as i have recently come to feel.  (plus there’s the assault games we have been under and the entire energy harvesting system of pay to live….)

this way of Being ~ healing ourselves ~ is supposed to be natural.  and easy. miracles aren’t supposed to be a rare gift – they are supposed to be THE WAY we live and experience and Be.  maybe that doesn’t resonate with everyone.  i have had to open myself up to the idea that not all carry this knowing.  not all have the cellular memories, the impressions in the body, the conscious awareness/visions, etc.  and maybe not all have had the experience of being Pure Creator’s in the purest, divine, most free sense.  i KNOW what i have once experienced while living in a physical body.  early, original gaia.  other realms.  that’s why the more i have awakened and become aware of all of these memories and knowings within me, the more difficult it has been for me to be here.  while it has been easier to be Me, it has NOT been easier to be here.

the book “the secret” popped into my mind.  i was once heavily into all of that.  i even started a discussion group around it.  i saw so many struggle with this – including myself.  one woman, a friend of mine, who had a host of health and money issues and who was so positive in her focus and thinking, seemed like a natural at all of this “law of attraction” stuff.  and yet – years later she still had (has) the health issues, the money struggles. but she remained focused and positive.

you know – we were designed to heal INSTANTLY.  and manifest INSTANTLY.

today as i tune into this, i have this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling that this law of attraction and all other things similar do not work fully here in this realm. the frequencies of this realm are not compatible.  if it were, we would all be manifesting our heart’s desires regularly and often – not this hit and miss that seems to be the case.  it is likely, imho, that the authors and promoters of this book did not create their success w/this “secret” stuff alone – they had system controllers (i.e. publishers, marketing guru’s and the like) promoting them – giving them recognition and money.  hey lookit me – i read the secret and my life expanded hugely.  oh but i forgot to add i had a lot of help and support along the way.

self-made.  uh huh.  i’m not buying it.  i gave the secret away ~ donated it to a local little library.  i stopped reading such books several years ago.  as i say ~ help us turn on those magic codes within so we CAN do this self-made creating!

and get us OUT of here too please.  thank you.

other than that, my sensitivities continue to be intense.  noise.  other’s talking around me.  my goodness, the need to be alone has become more intense if that was possible.  people i see around the neighborhood, with whom i would normally at least have some sort of conversation, just cannot do that now.

i am also calling forth each day to see the purple and pink skies.  to see the matrix.  to see the dome, the grid.  to see the new realm.  so speaking of the law of attraction if it worked the way it was supposed to here, i would have seen some amazing things by now.  i would have created it.  i am calling it forth with all that I Am.

and even though i am moving at a slugs pace these days, my I AM is quite done with the slugs pace of manifesting.

i did have an insight come to me ~ not that it soothed me much but it made some logical sense (grrrr).  taking down the deep state, the cabal and all of those systems they infiltrated is a process.  shutting down the matrix realm and “removing” – releasing us is also a process.

yes ok i said as i kicked some rocks and resisted the urge to pick one up and throw it.  hard.

it is a process.  of which we are at the end.  collectively those of us aware of such feel this too.

for now we do what we can.  the best we know how.  i for one continue to call forth THE END and freedom.

that is all for now….

[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

victoria

******

Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

[wpedon id=”208″ align=”left”]

in the shower a bit ago i recalled some other experiences i had earlier in the day – that i completely spaced out on.  i get a bit annoyed at myself ~ well old me would get annoyed ~ new me just laughs at how i process things and what i focus on.  sometimes the most OBVIOUS of experiences ~ right in front of me ~ will be dismissed.

today’s most OBVIOUS of experiences that even when happening i failed to grasp just what was happening was this sensation of falling.  i had it several times today.  it was not just dizziness but i literally felt it – in my entire body – that i was falling.  this is new.  it didn’t feel like a tripping/falling sensation – more like a free fall – slow mo.

and at the time i knew that – this is a new experience – but i just chalked it up to how things are in that moment.

then tonight in the shower i remembered lisa harrison saying after the 7th wave begins. many will spend the first amount of time/days experiencing the sensation of falling.

why didn’t i put that together at the time?  lol  seriously will someone tune into me and say “girl why did you not SEE that one??”  it isn’t like i walk around on a normal day and suddenly feel like i am falling.

i remember hearing lisa speak of this.  i have also heard of 1 or 2 others speak of this potential if not possible experience after the last wave.  i just never stopped to consider i could have this experience ~ likely because i often think “that happens to others – not me”.  not in a smug way – not at all – but in a way that says “they get to experience the cool stuff – not me.”

time to shed that program too.  this is an INCLUSIVE experience.

the other experience is quite intense lower back pain.  in fact by 7pm or so my bones were hurting – all over.  going for the usual bike ride was very uncomfortable.  i could NOT get comfortable.  i would stand up – then have to sit down – then shake my right hand then my left.  repeat.

while in the shower i also recalled lisa again saying as our highest/biggest selves come back online again (after being squashed, as she put it, into our lower spine ~ something i absolutely align with given previous feels and an experience) – that region would begin to hurt.  yeah no kidding.  i recall last fall when i was at the kitchen table and the base of my spine began to buzz strongly – traveling up my back, neck and out my head and that is when i felt i was being lifted and heard the “this is how it happens” ~ so i have had my own confirmation of where my “power ME” resides – and how she is coming back in full power….so apparently that is including some sudden low back pain.

so be it.

the falling stuff today – it happened when i was at the sink and i thought “wow i’m falling” but of course i didn’t.  it happened at the neighbor’s house.  it happened in the shower tonight in a big way.

of note – on bike rides the past 2 nights i rode by the sacred tree – not much into speaking w/it for some time now but the last two nights i felt “buckle up and hold on” coming from it.  along those lines – i will end w/a note of synchronicity.  tonight my girl was singing to me.  she has this amazing innate gift to make up songs on the spot – songs that are quite good and often full of wisdom.  tonight as she sang to me, snuggled in bed, she told me now was the time to buckle up and enjoy the ride for the ride is just beginning.

and so it is.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

victoria

people are going batshit crazy (to borrow the phrase)!!  programming breaking down the bots and pushing the humans to purge.  the last two days i have been all over town and people, i gotta say, some are flipping the farm fu## out.  lol  yesterday i witnessed a woman ahead of me (on a 2-way street) turn on her left blinker. i naturally assumed she was taking a left into one of the driveways or streets.  nope.  she pulls into the left lane and continues to drive – the wrong way.  i begin honking, waving my arms, attempting to get her attention.  nope.  she kept on going.  i saw cars coming the opposite way, headed straight for her and figured she would see them (my venture out required that i turn off the street).  the speed limit is 25 so hopefully no accidents.  i didn’t hear of any.

my mate witnessed someone freak the farm “f” out and throw her bike into a row of parked bikes, yelling all sorts of obscenities.  today he said people seemed irritated and the energy was very chaotic.

today, i walked up to the manager of a store to ask where the stationary aisle was.  she stopped suddenly and gave me a look like “WHAT do you WANT??!!” (which actually made me shrink back) before telling me.  i smiled and thanked her.  don’t want to feed the beast.  lol

while in line, the clerk, although pleasant, emanated tension and exhaustion.  and the dad and son in front of me – well let’s just say the look on the dad’s face said “if i were at home i would be grumpin’ all over the place” (his little boy was being annoying – nothing unusual – just kid annoying).  dad looked exhausted and at the end of his rope.

headed to the next store, i observed some guy in a large green work truck in back of me driving erratically.  swerving recklessly, driving far too fast.  at one point as i watched him swerve out, i thought he was trying to avoid an oncoming car.  nope.  he just pulled into a driveway.

as i headed down the road, this human bot in a subaru was driving down the middle of the road so i had to swerve to the right.

it was at this point i said “jesus effing i’m going home NOW!”

so much continues to bubble up ~ i have to pause and wonder why some people, when asked, claim they don’t feel a thing.

i know this much – my body certainly feels different today.  light and shaky. spacey.  getting myself out of bed this morning was unbelievably difficult. moving the vessel in a slug-like fashion.  i had some heart palps today and a few times anxiety sky-high.  i moved slow and breathed calmly and deeply to soothe thyself.

while in the car, i turned on the radio and said “ok Universe inspire me with a song”.  what comes on?  Foreigner ~ “Long Long Way From Home”.  Talk about an appropriate song.  “It was my destiny.  ….  I was inside looking outside.  Millions of faces but still I’m alone.  Waiting…..I could feel the tension.  I was longing for home.”

YES!!  Every cell in me, every piece of my heart, all of my fractals cried “YES”.  Tears came.

Longing for home.

Because this is Not.  It.

Obviously.  (watching the skies a lot right now)

Here’s to Home.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Much love,

Victoria

******

Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

[wpedon id=”208″ align=”left”]

Well a lot of purging today.  Some of it I feel is the “finality” of it as in somehow this will no longer be allowable in my life/space.

Are you the type who colors outside of the lines now and then?  Or do you feel the need to keep it all in between the black lines/spaces?  I go back and forth ~ although I always come back to the wild, free Spirit within who says JUST BE ~ however and whoever that is at ANY given moment.

I recalled today as a child a girl from school.  She let me borrow her markers. We each had our coloring books.  First she lectured me on how I was to use her markers.  Then she lectured me on how I was coloring outside the lines ~ not allowable apparently.

No one had told me such a thing.  Given my age, I took another one of her markers, used them exactly the way she did not wish me to use them while scribbling all over the page.  Just because I could.  I remember thinking how absolutely uptight she was.  We were KIDS.  Not adults.

My mother was the type for whom the house had to be spotless.  My dad, he had to have all go his way in order to feel safe.  Overall I appreciate that because I too like things to be clean and, overall, orderly.  I like things to go smoothly. And yet sometimes you just gotta breathe and let things unfold.  let others BE.

And I have extreme dislike for anyone who tells me “how to do things” ~ especially when I have not asked ~ or when someone throws anger or what I call the “buttinski” my way when I have undertaken a task and done it my way and not theirs.

THAT is the behavior that is no longer welcome in my space.  I set that in place today.

Part of freedom.  Let me be ME.  If I am not harming another, there is no issue and vice versa.  Serious issue of mine.  I need – love – thrive – on being left to just BE ME.

I laugh as I visualize a bubble around me and someone has stepped into it and begun telling me how things are and how things will be and other rhetoric.  Excuse me, I say, I have not invited you into my bubble.  We could ALL use such a bubble, right?

Noticing some computer/internet/electrical stuff too…

Before heading out to get a few food items, I listened to some of Linea’s latest video (which I will link).  If this intel is accurate, at 7:37am, Pacific Time, we will experience the ending of this old and a transition into the new.  I don’t know if it is the Schumann spiking (image below) but I had sudden moments of feeling so light, I thought I could fly.  One happened while I was in the car and so I felt the need to say “ok girl keep the vessel on the ground”.  It was that strong.  (also of note ~ the magnetopause live data has not been “live” in 24 hours ~ WSO/Steve Olson noticed that as well.  I still see a white rabbit off to the left which continues to perplex me)

I had a hard time keeping myself grounded while in the store too.  I have said on many days over the past year and a half I have felt between 2 worlds, pretty equally split.  Today I felt like 3/4 of me was just elsewhere, leaving a small portion of consciousness in this body here.  As I left the store and the clerk handed me my receipt, my immediate thought to say was “have a good life”.  I shook my head and thought “that’s nonsense”.

Or is it?

I cannot say for sure.

On the way home, I said ok Universe, show me some guidance on the radio.

Turning it on I first hear “Young hearts be free tonight” (Rod Stewart ~ Young Turks).  Second song ~ message in a bottle (The Police) ~ last song “The Sign” (Ace of Base ~ “I got a new life…you would hardly recognize me”…).  That last one faded out ~ I couldn’t get it to come in again.

A “sign” of what is happening?

Letting it all unfold……

[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Victoria

******

Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

[wpedon id=”208″ align=”left”]

i received this one in the shower earlier this evening….wanted to share it….forgot….(no surprise there these days)…..i had a visual of us in this realm – in this pit.  i thought about the concept of ascension and all of the ideas on how we have to raise our vibration in order to more or less “earn” our right outta here.  that never resonated with me even though i was on that wagon for awhile.  i know – not new “news” with most of my regular readers.  i just got so clear on that one tonight.  it all linked up within.

love doesn’t require us to “prove” itself.  when a conscious being has been changed and put into prison like environment, love lets the prisoners free.  it doesn’t say “climb up out of that pit yourself”.  ascension – just another program here.

also feeling out what i heard earlier about the pleiadians being “hope harvesters”.  what an excellent description.  i let go of my attachment to this race awhile ago.  they have been the go-to in terms of channeled messages.  ashtar and the like.  i feel they were/are conscious beings – but here to serve us?  absolutely not.  their messages were filled with introductions that felt so derogatory.  “dear ones” and “children of earth”.  often the messages contained tidbits like “one day you shall be free like us” or “one day when you have earned the right by learning your lessons you will be advanced like us”.  oh how i have seen people, beautiful well meaning, heart-centered people say “we have to be more like them” or “we’re not ready yet”.

arrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!

today i know different for i have let myself feeeeeeeeeel different.  i pondered their shares, words and continued to come back to feeling the inner bullshit radar while hearing/knowing “love helps”.  period.

love is supportive.  and sending out a message to the hostages that “one day you shall be free like us” and the like feels exactly like beings who harvest energy based on hope given.

nonsense.  fake.

hence – you will find little on this site these days on the topic of ascension. the galactics.  etc.  talk of love and support and show equal respect (NO power-over/separation) back it up with actual PROOF of such action, it will find a home here.

that is all.  i am off to rest my vessel.

[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

victoria