How many of us are having this experience now? Sleeping but not feeling rested. It all comes down to this: our nervous system’s are taxed (lol i think “they” would love to find a way to literally tax that energy system, right?). Overworked. Overstimulated. Dysregulated.
Speaking just for myself now – I “feel” what’s going on out there. I don’t have to go looking for it. I know. My internal radar is hooked in even when I don’t want it to be. So daily, throughout the day, I do my somatic practices – and they work – slowly – until you reach that inevitable space where the healing breakthrough looks like a crisis and it feels like shit for awhile. But I keep going – slowly – without pushing myself. I am not a soldier. I am a human.
And yet we are also in some sort of an energetic battle with a force that does not want to let up, quit, admit defeat. “They” are at it at a new level – I didn’t even have to get online to know that today. Yes it’s a movie designed to show us – but let me tell you there is a hidden layer to this – that “invisible enemy” stuff. It’s a feel. You either feel it or not. Thank yourself blessed if you do not feel it – you’ve likely not been a target here.
I’ve been doing all of these ‘things’ to increase my income and connect with agencies plus searching for a place to live and friends?
I AM – I don’t know if there’s a word for it – but the past several days I have been crying and sometimes simply can’t stop. I can’t focus well. I desperately need pure again. My god do I need pure – to be away from evil. I don’t want to see it or feel it or even carry ANY knowing of its influence and existence here. Concentration is challenged and I scream inside “NO” when I am given a new task to give or asked a question when I am already focused on a task. I melt down inside with drama or conflict. I’ve been doing too much. I know it. But I have this pressure and this weight pushing and pushing and pushing on me. I’m doing my best and I know my best is not good enough for some. But it will have TO be.
To market my work – and do it well – costs about $1500 per month. No agencies will help with that. I have found no one to help me with my driving issue. I am still being passed around from agent smith to agent smith. Receiving unwanted texts and calls and questions that are frankly no one’s damn business.
I will not be told to think differently or do differently or try this method or try that method when that has been what I have been doing. Victim shaming and victim blaming – I. have. HAD. IT. I just want a fucking financial break. I want SOMETHING I have aimed for to break through. This is not a “ME” problem – this is a fucked up toxic system problem – a matrix that unless you are one like me who has been a target since you entered – haven’t a clue what I experience.
!!!!!
UGH!
My brain hurts, you know? Anyone having that one? Literally my brain hurts – my forehead – whatever is behind it – that pressure – not a headache just a mental fatigue. Like I’ve experienced trauma after trauma and my body and mind are screaming ENOUGH. Trying to play catch up – keep up – with the needs of my body, my nervous system and my finances. My brain – my tired brain – forgot about a bill (I literally NEVER do that) – plus I miscalculated my checkbook. I used to be so sharp. So on top of things. Now – I’m a f’ing wreck.
THAT – is where I am. And I know I am not alone.
Thank you to my supporters. I welcome more. Always welcome more. I receive the abundance and bless it.
For now, well that’s all I have to say.
💖
Victoria
ZELLE: themamatrinity@gmail.com
CASHAPP: $VictoriaT1144
My daughter’s Amazon Wish List
Here’s something useful to do for your nervous system – a midday reset. Takes just about 1 minute. Press your feet firmly wherever you are feeling that grounding – that solid contact. Wrap your arms around yourself or press back into a chair, creating clear body boundaries. Then breathe – matching your breathing to your heartbeat for about 30 seconds.
I wish he’d do more to give us financial relief. I see other states are at least having lower food, gas and housing prices. But out here in Nazi Oregon? “they” keep hiking things. Gas jumped twenty cents in the last week.
NOW – Trump signs Presidential Memorandum deploying National Guard, ICE, and other agencies to Memphis, Tennessee, to combat crime. pic.twitter.com/QHSjsOsHp0
— Disclose.tv (@disclosetv) September 15, 2025
LET’S FUCKING GO!
The Israeli IDF soldier @RepBrianMast was FORCED TO REMOVE THE PASSPORT REVOCATION PROVISION in H.R. 5300 which gave Israel foreign agent @SecRubio unilateral rights to strip Americans’ passports for criticizing Israel
There’s NOTHING we can’t do if we UNITE! https://t.co/v35IjZU2K6 pic.twitter.com/cmE1U8XGwD
— GenXGirl (@GenXGirl1994) September 15, 2025
As Rose once said – that bus may be an illusion but it can still hurt you – trigger you even – which is the one thing we can control – how we respond TO “their” illusions – doesn’t matter if it’s an illusion put out by “them” or WH. I think – lol – brain isn’t working well today as I said. But I will say this – when do we see signs that OUR INTENTIONS ARE CHANGING THIS PLACE? Doesn’t it feel like there’s this thing called the military that is controlling the pace? I ain’t liking that – not one bit.
Dear Normies.
This is what you witnessed on Sept. 10, 2025:
Mark moving from shirt to neck which was AI.
And a plain as a day Squib.
Zero censorship of video circulating on Social Media for hours?
But they’ll ban me during this time slot from a post from November 2024?…
— Derek Johnson (@rattletrap1776) September 15, 2025
Where I am now – I am a totally different person than I was just 10 years ago. And in some way that’s been a blessing but also a challenge – as I want what I want. If I am to remain here I want affordability. I want to have the funds to pay people what I need to increase my income. I receive those funds – oh god how tired I am of doing this work. Almost daily now for two years the one thing I have focused on is receiving that flow of financial abundance so I have the means to change my life in the way I need. I’m tired of the whole “subconscious programming” bullshit. It’s always blame the victim here. Empower people instead. LOVE does that.
I need a nap. lol I am seriously intensely a wreck of cranky.
