(thanks to JW for divinely sharing this image earlier today)
It seems the more I step into my own Power – diligently – and share that through written word – and spoken – the more resistance I receive. There is indeed support, but there is also resistance as is often the case when a person, a woman in particular, has found her voice and is using it to change her life and this reality. Regarding a recent piece I put together, which was actually empowering if anyone cared to read the whole thing with an open mind and heart, I am being advised to seek professional treatment, to call the suicide crisis line while my keen eye to see hidden elephants in the room was criticized because, you know, got to keep those elephants hidden.
What was strange about this particular elephant is that part of that elephant included me and my own inner stuff.
God forbid a woman step on stage and get loud. Even though this is 2025, there is still a discomfort when a woman gets up and speaks with power and authority. Men are able to do this for obvious reasons. But if a woman does the same? We still face judgment. We get told to get our depression and rage under control. We get told to “get over it”, stop complaining and other unwanted and totally unhelpful advice. Not like we did in generations past, but it’s still there. I’ve received it many times since I started this page in particular.
Advice.
Notice the last 4 letters in that word: Vice.
When advice is forthcoming, especially when it’s unwanted and unasked for, it can leave your body feeling as though you’ve been put IN a vice.
Words matter.
Which is why I channel my power through them on these pages and elsewhere.
Just like a child will stop crying and “whining” when it actually feels heard, while it may not get what it wants, once seen and heard in a space of love, that inner “HEY I MATTER SEE ME” quiets down.
Holding space is what heals – something humanity is grossly incapable of doing – still – because we have not yet learned to hold space for ourselves.
Which brings me to the title of my piece. When I began holding space for myself, that meant I went within and listened. I listened and honored all of those unspoken words. And as they have been coming out and continue to come out, I’ve faced blowback as I said, from men AND (sadly) women.
Stop complaining.
Stop whining.
Here is my response to those words today.
What you see as complaining and whining is my attempt to be seen, heard and validated.
What you see as complaining and whining is my need for my truth and my voice to be given the same right to be put on stage and receive the same respect that is given to countless big-name guru’s and trailblazers.
What you see as complaining and whining is deeply held trauma that has stored decades of unspoken words, silenced by threats of abandonment and punishment.
What you see as complaining and whining is mental, emotional and Spiritual fatigue from doing the very best I can in a world of systems in which I do not align.
What you see as complaining and whining are moments where when my truth comes out, it is often messy and unrefined.
What you see as complaining and whining is my deeply held frustration from years of trying to seek a place for myself, from trying to find the right healing modalities that will actually work and from this toxic worlds pay-to-live system telling me “You cannot enter” through these healing doors because you don’t have enough money.
What you see as complaining and whining is simply fatigue, frustration, loneliness and deeply held disappointment from a life lived of abuse that is largely held in private.
Calling some number talking with a stranger is not the answer.
Taking a pill is not the answer.
And going away quietly and being a “good girl” so as to not upset someone else’s illusion that “hey the world is fine and so are you” or some narrative that says “I got mine go get yours” is also not the answer.
We are adults.
But we also have that childlike Spirit within.
We hold the same needs to be loved and seen and heard as we did when we were children.
So no – to those with whom I have upset or offended – I will NOT be quiet.
I will NOT keep my pain to myself.
I will write whatever I want and share it wherever I want.
And if you aren’t strong enough to handle that, you can crawl back into your little protective bubble. Because my days of taking toxic criticism and ghosting and surrounding myself by fake, uncaring people are O V E R.
I know Who I Am.
I know my worth.
And I know I have something important to say and share.
Thank you to all of you who do show up, hold space and See. You are the gems that remind those parts of me within that I do have something important to offer this crazy reality.
💖🙏
Victoria
ZELLE: themamatrinity@gmail.com
CASHAPP: $VictoriaT1144
My daughter’s Amazon Wish List: Amazon.com
