I recorded this last night after I had experienced a panic attack. Not new to me, but god damn, you know? As one who has tried everything but a full-on medically induced comatose state, I’m long past ready for all of this to be wiped clean from my cells. And yes, I DO intend that. Feel it. Imagine it. I continue to sense (and resist at the same time) that until the invisible enemy’s codes within are erased, wiped out, removed, WHAT E V E R, trauma sticks. 30 years of EMDR. RET. Mindfulness. Meditation. CBT. The experience of comfort has waxed and waned. But always – ALWAYS – within me is the knowing I am not in a frequency experience – again WHAT E V E R you wish to call it – this place doesn’t align. What does? I don’t know. I did have a moment this morning where I felt an old memory of what once was return. Felt a quick, instant separation that I felt deeply in my body. It was not pleasant. It was shocking and sudden, and inside I screamed. So I worked through it with my tools. (It also is not surprising to me – just verifies what I have sensed as my own truth.)
But you know what?
In a real experience.
In an experience of Truth and freedom and love and all that is SUPPORTIVE, we don’t need tools.
Instead, any tools we use are for creating because we don’t have some damn monetary expense hanging over our heads or some damn rule or system telling us you need to do THIS while being surrounded at times by people who like the system and like being told what to do. It is painfully deeply lonely now. Honestly, the only thing that brings me comfort is hearing someone else’s struggles- well, not the struggles – but their knowing that they too are DONE FED UP with this shitpit.
There is a collective anger among those of us who have waited long enough. I see it. I read about it. I FEEL it.
Waited long enough for others to “see” and join in with us so we can shift this sludge of blah already.
Waited long enough to heal.
Waited long enough to see our abundance and wealth returned, and ALL that was kept AND taken from us returned – and not only returned – but the intentions we create around it all MANIFESTED. CREATED.
WITH FUCHING EASE.
💖
Victoria
Trying to find some peace of mind. June 6, 2026
