Just as I was reflecting on this reality and how pushed we have been – how pushed I have been – especially at this time – just when I REALLY am needing love and TLC – I am blocked from receiving it – end up sitting in silence – alone – and how f’ing painful that is for me….I see the above.

EXACTLY.

I was reflecting on how exhausted I am in being “matrix version strong”.

I woke up after spending time within – in quiet – shifting the left over hellish energies from yesterday.

That lasted about 5 minutes.

In “it” came.

Found myself facing outside situations where I was having to do the NEO deflecting.

I swear – “they” are looping us again – certainly trying to and having some effect at it – because I am seeing/experiencing things happen I felt were over enter my experience again – no matter WHAT I think/say/intend.

I don’t want no stinkin’ metals or pats on the back once this is over – or even now – at how well I am handling the b.s.

I WANT…..I NEED SOFTNESS.

KINDNESS.

I don’t need someone telling me to suck it up buttercup and keep going.

I WANT AND NEED TO BE CARRIED NOW.

I need to have a safe space – NOW – where I can f’ing collapse from the weight of the pain the trauma the “do do do keep going mama V” – until I am healed.  No time frame.  No judgment.  No “ok that’s enough get back up and get going soldier.”

That’s what I’ve been doing all along and I am DONE with it – DONE with the game – DONE with pretending and putting on a smile when I want to scream and cry and throw and smash things.

And yet I see – so do many of us.  And most of us don’t have much left of those things TO give because we’re so damn tired, often alone, without the support and love we need TO get back up to the place where we CAN give that space/experience to another.  Or we receive just enough to keep going.

But who wants to be in that “keep going just a little longer” space?

Who wants little drops of love when we – when I need to be showered in it 24/7 until I am refilled again.

I’m worn to the f’ing bone being “strong” and “tough” – which are really two energies resulting from the same experience(s) that I don’t consent to.  One is more that quiet/still/passive within – the other the “doer”.

I want this stewpid f’ing war OVER.

I want those engaged in this alleged clean-up of evil to STEP IT UP AND GET IT DONE.

This is a simulated place.

If “they” can slow it down then for the love of us all SOMETHING DIVINE and GOOD can f’ing SPEED IT UP AND GET IT DONE.

N O W.

For what is the point of an awakening if most of your awakened ones are left behind either dying or shaking or collapsed?

For now (absolutely fully truly):

Love,

V.

Yeah, the suckery continues………….just can’t shake the mood so i’m letting myself BE………..seeing too much icky ugh not aligning – pokes coming from people posting about new pay to live crap – crypto crap especially – and maybe we do need social credit scores to keep people working hard – separate the doers from the “losers” lazy ones…….to those still saying ain’t no one saving you you gots to do that yourself….

OMG where’s my f’ing stick?  let me whack ’em around a little………ya know?

you wanna get tossed down a hole – no memory of it happening or how but a bodily KNOWING you ain’t where you belong nor choose to be – no knowing how to get back out – and meanwhile you forced to pay to live because those who made the hole and run it says you have to – while they throw toxic water food and air at you and expect you to compete in this survival – of -the-fittest sheot pit while their religious puppets tell you just pray to jesus and he will save you and when people do that and still suffer you get told you ain’t praying right or enough or donating enough money to THEM and the scholarly types say to get more educating.  the liberals say paint yourself with rainbow colors and go visit a government agency for help while the conservatives say suck it up buttercup (while both refusing to see they’re in the same dayem hole).

O M G

breathe Victoria………..breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeathe…….

so i continue to be ME – or like this feisty woman says below – my bad arse self.  it’s true – same sheot – different day in da matrix.  whatcha do here every day Victoria?  i mama bear domestic warrior goddess writer editor sharer of truth.  that’s what i do and i rock it all the way and keep rockin’ it until I AM FREE.

What are your plans for today? 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/TsaSvWJ4ID

— armygirl (@armygir36701799) July 20, 2023

yes……..this this this…………i have not been putting myself out into the world with my words for 30 years now researching and sharing just so we can have another controlled pay to live system.  so either we’ve been royally duped – OR this is distraction – OR YRFT is right and this is a cleaned up version for those going “west” while we go home.

Yup have not liked everyone talking about crypto all the time now. I did not start this over 30 years ago so people could get rich or so we could switch to another controlled beast system.

— Joey dark 2 Light (@joey34955757) July 21, 2023

better than what we got………….still don’t like it………but hey i’ve gotten used to things playing out on the world stage – being presented to us – that i don’t align with and if this is the best they will offer us – while we’re still here –  i’ll take it as i am DONE in SPADES with where. i. am.

Russia announces BRICS gold-backed currency launch, 41 countries on the waiting list worldwidehttps://t.co/iVDT8WkQ2B

— Luciana Nina Leone (@nina_leone11) July 21, 2023

comical……….

"we're done with the cover-up" sayeth the tarts who are complicit in the cover-up…………so much stewpid in this movie…….. https://t.co/exM2ujox2y

— Luciana Nina Leone (@nina_leone11) July 21, 2023

this is the last year for me.  this don’t happen by years end i’m throwing my JFK JR cup away……….my heart is so heavy with how long i’ve carried this whole thing…………

… pic.twitter.com/sSMgHNNlDn

— DOQ 🇺🇸 (@doqholliday) July 21, 2023

hmmm https://t.co/jdBqZJVc8n

— Luciana Nina Leone (@nina_leone11) July 21, 2023

interesting…….dude is brilliant……….my mind is 5 year old saying “can you make us something to bust us outta here?”  change the frequency inside so the reality changes with it?

Give him a follow @dr_parkinstine

Dude is interesting. https://t.co/jiLjITjEv3

— Vincent Kennedy (@VincentCrypt46) July 21, 2023

you ever get into that space where you just don’t know what to do to shift yourself and your experience?  nothing feels right.  nothing sounds good.  nothing to nourish your soul.  sleep.  food.  distractions.  i gotta go find something that works – be in that space – and shift this full on UGH i am feeling in my body that i do. not. want. and try and find center again even while still here because in all honesty – it is my very inner humanness heart and whatever else is inside of me that is DONE and i want to be bathed in love until i no longer hurt inside.

back tomorrow.  hopefully in a new shifted space.

love,

just keepin’ it real V.