Category: Alternative News

Projection is a psychological tool we use to manage our own discomfort. In short, we subconsciously say, “I don’t want to admit that I feel this way so now I’m going to say that you’re the source.”

How many times have we been blamed for something we didn’t do? Or others’ are upset about something but now taking it out on you? Or we can tell others have preconceived notions about us and start acting as if these are already true about us, even though they’re not? We don’t have to look too far to see that this goes on in politics as well – blaming the other side of the aisle for something that party (or person) is guilty of.

So on a day to day basis, how do we best manage these tough scenarios?

1) Mine or yours? Check in with ourselves first before jumping into a defensive stance. When that person starts pouncing on us and we feel either confused or can clearly tell this isn’t about us, stop to ask ourselves this question, “Is this mine or theirs”? It doesn’t mean you tell them they’re projecting, but a self-check is vital here.

2) From here, remember the three aspects of communication: objective, relationship, and self respect.

Objective. Do your best to focus the conversation on the objective, or what you wish to attain from the conversation. If you can tell the other is starting to stray off topic to circling back and wanting to play the blame game, do your best to stay focused on what you want out of the conversation. So, for example, if your partner says, “You’re not going to listen to me anyway, so it doesn’t matter”, answer by saying, “I’m interested in what you have to say so we can resolve this. I’m here for you and when you’re ready to chat about this let me know.” You’re staying focused on the topic and not getting hooked into a debate.

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