Category: Daily Notes

Questioning all of the narratives

 

Nothing makes sense to me atm.

A growing feeling.

Came in HARD last night after watching a movie – Phenomenon.

An example of how we’re supposed to be.

This is a movie that has personal references for me so there’s that as well – wanting those connections – wanting someone – others – who would “buy my chairs” as I called it at the time I first saw the movie.

The narratives.ย  There are many.

Control is an illusion – but then we’re told “you only control yourself – your thoughts, your choices, your behaviors”.

Paradoxical b.s.

None of these “big” guru types talk about the matrix or the simulation or the idea that there are invisible (to us w/our human eyes – well to most – some see them) enemies who come in for the attack.ย  Nor to they talk about tech like the voice of god which is designed to target individuals and plant thoughts.ย  And do any of them talk about the mind control victims (i.e. school shooters)?

Nope.

I pause and do a small “ha ha”.ย  That’s why my voice has such a tiny audience.ย  No way in this place would my words EVER have given me a New York Times Bestseller voice.

The truth is inconvenient.ย  We’ve all run from it.ย  But I have gathered enough OOMPH within me to let it have a voice and I want to KNOW the truth.

I don’t want to be told what I CAN or CANNOT handle.

I certainly do NOT want to be told things are going so slow as to ensure as many people awaken – not when the result of that is a mass level of suffering among those of us who took the time to KNOW and SEE.ย  Don’t you all think now – what was the point OF knowing and seeing?ย  Was it just a massive psyop to see if we would listen to prompts and nudges and listen to the desire to know the truth of this place?

I want to know what’s truly going on.ย  I want to know when this new earth/world/system/whatever is going to manifest.ย  I want to know how much power we each have in bringing it in.

I want to know just exactly WHAT is this Higher Self.ย  Can I even feel that part of me?ย  Is it separate?ย  Is there just a tiny piece of that HS within me?ย  If so – where is the rest and wth is it doing?ย  It sure doesn’t seem to be working for me given how much I call her in and ask for what I need – you know me – the human – here – with needs – many unmet?

Yeah, that one.

Just for once – I want to SEE some of these words expressed – the vulnerability allowed to come out – for others to start saying “I don’t know where we are or who we are or when we are.ย  I don’t know exactly what is going on.”

But SOMEONE does because we see things moving – events happening – all of these celestial happenings (WHO controls THOSE?!).

Seriously – others ARE controlling this reality and for craps sake if it IS our Higher Selves than they need to TELL US.ย  Give us some g.d. GUIDANCE.ย  LISTEN to our words.ย  GUIDE us as to how to dismantle it – let us know what we here can do to help.ย  Listen to the words of my girl and I – as we speak them, write then down, send the out – every g.d. day.

For now – this place feels sad and traumatizing.ย  That’s the other piece – that I have mentioned here before but I will again – anyone who says it “had to be this way” needs to show us now WHY.ย  If THEY can know the truth then so. can. we.ย  What makes them more special or capable mentally?ย  Hmmm?ย  Anyone?

Trust the plan.

SHOW US THE PLAN.

I get war and military ops.

But give. us. something. tangible.

At the very least bring help to those of us asking for it and needing it.

Bring about some miracles.

No different than someone saying, “I am going to be doing a lot of things on your yard and house that you can’t see – and you cannot stop me from doing these things – but you just have to trust me – this person(s) you don’t know – you just need to trust me I know what I’m doing and in the end it will be beautiful.”

But for now – hold on – it’s going to get rocky and difficult as fuch and you may experience a lot of trauma (on top of what you already had) – so just pray to Jesus/God and know they have your back.

I’m seeing too many suffer.ย  Too g.d. many.ย  Too many needing help yesterday or last year and not getting it.ย  Financial peril.ย  Health (mental emotional physical) issues.ย  WE NEED HELP AND WE NEED IT NOW.ย  On OUR timeline – OUR watch – NOW.ย  Not when someone else says so.ย  If this plan is so Divine – there absolutely can be help brought in to alleviate this unnecessary suffering too many are going through.ย  We aren’t learning a g.d. thing.ย  LOVE EXPANDS.ย  Trauma harms.

PERIOD.

So let’s bring these intentions in NOW.

Not when some best-selling guru who only gives a wee bit of advice and conveniently ignores the rest tells us to just change our thoughts and everything will be ok.

Not in a spiritual war.ย  The thoughts allow us to KEEP GOING.ย  But they don’t stop the attacks.ย  They don’t stop the trauma.ย  Asserting your boundaries does not work against someone or something that has no intention of honoring your words.ย  And these b.s. attacks can come in at any time.ย  I don’t know ANYONE who can keep up an armor 24/7 – plus some are more targeted than others – especially those with the brightest light – the biggest hearts – those who are the most trusting AND seeing/sensitive.

That is all for now.ย  Ending this one with a deep f’ing sigh of extreme frustration and sadness.

๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

 

6.16.24 ~ Finds and a Reflection……….

 

Image

 

Had to get out of the house tonight, so we went to the local Kroger store.ย  I’m noticing more sales on clothing, toys, household items – ongoing.ย  40-50% off is typical – up to 70% on other items – many of these are summer items.ย  Very ready for housing to do the same.ย  V E R Y ready.

Here’s what I’m seeing.ย  Please help me by supporting my work with a donation of your choice.ย  And welcome new friends!ย  ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ™

Love,

V.

******

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weather is not “normal” at all here – low 40’s at night – 50’s today and it poured all day.ย  Praying for my Sister Friend LM – her friend is in the area down in the bay area of Cali that is under fire watch.ย  Please send energies to dissipate that b.s. and to keep her friend safe.ย  Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ย  ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

Thoughts on “Gray Rock”

 

 

I’ve been practicing that technique – Gray Rock – whereby I stay neutral in situations I otherwise do not wish to be in.ย  Chaos.ย  Drama.ย  While I appreciate the concept of it and see the benefits of it – when that’s all you do – when that’s all *I* do is remain neutral – I also ignore boundary violations taking place in my body.ย  And unless I deal with those – they come back and make it clear.

“Tame the inner child.”

No – LISTEN to the inner child and then the inner child/voice becomes tame.

I think we’re doing it backwards here.

As someone recently said to me: “we aren’t rocks – we are HUMAN BEINGS”.

Absolutely.

When in close proximity to chaos, drama and/or anything you would otherwise choose NOT to be around – and you simply go neutral – what do you think is happening to the body?ย  Where do you think those energies of the drama and chaos are going?ย  Your body.

Empathy.ย  If you are a human being, you are naturally empathic.ย  Different levels of sensitivity?ย  Yes.ย  But to be human is also to FEEL.

Not only do I think we’re doing it backwards, but we’re also lying to ourselves.ย  Going neutral (alone as a tool) is often no different than ignoring what is happening – you’re just making a more conscientious choice to not get involved.ย  But if anyone thinks they can be in such a situation and not FEEEEEEL it – in your body – you’re either fooling yourself or you aren’t human.

Or you have some sort of advantaged DNA superpower that I and most of the rest of us humans here don’t yet have.

It’s no different than watching a movie with a sad scene.

Or watching a horrible accident.

Or being suddenly screamed at.

Or even watching those dang dog rescue commercials.

THEY ENVOKE AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE IN OUR BODIES.

And if the situation is sudden, unexpected, it can put the body in fight/flight/freeze mode – i.e. trauma/survive mode.ย  And unless processed, that will stay in the body.

So maybe, after all, while going neutral IS absolutely a good tool to keep you from getting lost in a situation, maybe those rocks instead need to be used for throwing at whoever is violating your boundaries and not caring.

Some things to think about on this blustery Saturday afternoon.

Love,

V.

6.15.24 ~ A check-in – a find or two

 

I don’t much care what’s going on “out there” – and to be honest I don’t much care what’s going on “in here” either.ย  It’s an odd space.ย  Yesterday was challenging after a good, focused start.ย  The challenge morphed into a rather neutral, quiet space – not great – but neutral and I have a couple of much needed/wanted phone convo’s.ย  All was rolling along, a rather nice pace, when late evening I was suddenly shaking again all over and ravishingly hungry.ย  I tried to ignore it – thinking “this wasn’t me” but my body started to rebel so I made an entire meal – at midnight – and ate like I hadn’t eaten in a day or two.ย  I was also suddenly highly agitated and felt the need to pound something.ย  Heard from Sister D who said something really nasty came in last night and attacked.

So there you go.

This morning, I feel drained – agitated (over money – the usual) – and began doing my usual inner focus – even putting on frequency bowl meditation music I often play these days – paused and said “fuch it”.ย  Just not up to switching things up within.ย  So I’m letting myself simply BE.ย  Energetically I am too dayem tired to change the inner feeeeeeeeeeeels so I can put on my best face and be someone I am not atm:ย  content and happy.

Because I am not.

It is as it is – I am as I am.

Off to give my money over to some mega corporation who doesn’t need it.

Ta ta for now.

Love,

V.

******

Excellent words – EXCEPT for the “what’s done is done move on”.ย  If there is trauma as a result of whatever is done, your body will not move on.ย  Been there done that.ย  The body will keep the energies of the unprocessed experience within – brain will then respond now and then as though the event is still happening – which according to the body it IS.ย  So there is no “forget it and move on”.ย  That is not how the body and mind connection work.ย  That is how “they” designed these bodies and is also why “they” created so much horror her to give us that trauma.ย  “They” know it sticks with us.ย  Little children – so happy – so up – I was one – put on a happy face – always.ย  That was just me – while inside trauma built up inside of me so by the time I was in my mid 20’s I started having these things the doctor called “panic attacks” so I dove into cognitive behavior therapies and affirmations and new age healing techniques – and not once did any of these people talk about the Body and how it is the BODY that keeps the score of everything – not just the mind.ย  It wasn’t until this past year when I was finally connected with the right people who know about these bodies and the nervous system and trauma did I *get it*.ย  What do you think a trigger is?ย  An unhealed trauma.ย  If we didn’t have trauma stored in our bodies, we wouldn’t get triggered.ย  Period.ย  ‘Nuff said.

 

 

 

Weather is still odd here – cool, rainy and as always windy.ย  I took a pic last night of another tree already changing – will try and remember to upload it from my camera.ย  Not promising though – brain just isn’t what it used to be these days.

 

No surprise here – anyone seen the ingredients in these things??

 

 

 

 

 

Other headlines I saw but am too tired to go retrieve again and link:ย  T is debating JB on the 27th.ย  For the first time ever there will be no audience.ย  Scripted movie scene already shot just ready to roll out for whomever has the desire to watch.

The homeless in Oregon are speaking out saying they don’t want tarps and tents – they want REAL HELP.ย  Duh.ย  As I always say – ask people what they NEED and stop assuming.ย  Just like I take issue when others try to tell me what they think I need to be doing while not hearing me say “THIS IS WHAT I NEED”.

OMG we have to all get over ourselves and start helping at the level people need the support.ย  There’s a lot I don’t know – but when I know something I KNOW.ย  And this is one thing I KNOW.

That’s all for now.

******

๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™

6.14.24 ~ Today’s Finds and Personal Sharing: Collective PTSD

 

PTSD was off the charts today.ย  This week actually.ย  Today I was suddenly shaking and couldn’t stop.ย  It’s odd too as I began the day with somatic yoga, positive/loving self-talk and felt quite calm.ย  An hour later, it came over me.ย  Breathing, etc. was not helping at all so I put out a prayer request and spoke with a couple of friends.ย  That helped – ended the shaking at least.

There is a collective of us dealing with PTSD – and it has been quite intense lately.ย  Spiritual attacks have been amped up.ย  This reality appears more bizarre – but it is making it easier for real humans to be seen and felt and to make those connections regardless of location.ย  I keep hearing the song lyric I wrote decades ago:ย  We have each other to hold onto when the world is unfriendly.

That’s how we make it through this – each other – because sometimes not even prayers to God/Jesus, etc. are enough.ย  We sometimes find that connection by connecting with a fellow human who “gets it”.

And I also see PTSD as being those fragmented pieces of ourselves that seek to be seen, loved, healed and joined back in with our God Self.

Here’s what I’m seeing.ย  Please remember to share and donate what you can.ย  Thank you.

Love,

Victoria

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Update: Judge Dismisses Infowars Bankruptcy – Alex Jones Releases Statement After Victory in Court (VIDEO)

 

 

 

 

Desperation sets in as The Awakening continues……….Me thinks this is what raises the APL to 10………

BREAKING: House of Representatives Passes Bill for Automatic Military Draft Registration of Young Men Between 18 and 26

 

 

 

WATCH LIVE: President Trump Delivers Remarks at Club 47 in Celebration of His Birthday

 

Military is the only way…………

BREAKING: DOJ Won’t Prosecute Merrick Garland For Contempt of Congress Over Biden Audio Tapes

 

 

“yuge” and “junior”………

 

Yes absolutely – very little energy to it this year:

 

 

 

Pretty much………

 

Another one:

Feds investigate Southwest flightโ€™s rapid descent off Kauai | Honolulu Star-Advertiser (staradvertiser.com)

******

ย  ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

The White Buffalo Prophecy, Biblical Times and a Very Interesting Gematria

 

The white buffalo calf was photographed by a Yellowstone National Park visitor (Pictures: AP)

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/rare-white-buffalo-birth-fulfills-prophecy-akin-to-second-coming/ar-BB

A rare white buffalo calf was reportedly born in Yellowstone National Park โ€“ fulfilling an American Indian prophecy that is synonymous to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Mainstream media is really pushing this one – as well as this “once in a lifetime” SuperNova due to happen between now and September – which ALL here will have the chance to see – tells me we have ongoing script flips – our consciousness is being prompted to SEE.

Most of us have heard of this.ย  However, since we are in “Biblical” times (which also shows up in a c u e post from June 13, 2020), I feel this is a good program insert.

4465

Jun 13, 2020 4:17:24 PM EDT
Qย !!Hs1Jq13jV6ย ID: 4b50f0ย No. 9600569ย 
Biblical Times.
Q
4y, 4h, 1m ago
White Buffalo (Calf) Prophecy | Native Heritage Project

According to legend, the White Buffalo Calf Woman was a holy entity that visited the Ocetiย Sakowinย over a four-dayย period about 2000 years ago.ย  White Buffalo Woman, orย PtesanยญWi, as she is called in the Lakota language,ย taught them sacred ceremonies, songs, and dances.ย  She gifted the people with a sacred bundle containing the White Buffalo Calf Pipe, which still exists to this day and is kept by Chief Arvol Looking Horse of the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe.

There are several iterations of the story, but in essence, they all match except for a few details.

White Buffaloย Woman warned that several other white buffalo would be born around this time, who would not live to complete the full color change cycle, before the true sacred buffalo were all born. She said when all four sacred white buffalo had returned, the people would be at a crossroads and if they took the right path, there would be a renewal of the Earth.
There have been many documented cases of White Buffalo – a list can be found here:ย  White buffalo – Wikipedia
I decided to do a gematria as well:ย  WHITE BUFFALO
Be Letter Seventeen (interesting dialogue – be like wind, etc.)
You Must Be Born Again
Seven Eleven (!!)
Code System
Elon R Musk
The Bird Is Free
Independence Day
Great Scott (Back to the future anyone?)
The Mandela Effect
World Light
******
ย  ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

 

Just some reflecting – ending with some finds……….

 

The “finds” are distraction to me these days as they don’t align with my inner world, much less my needs.ย  Pretty sure that is how it is with most of us these days.

My space is quiet atm allowing me to tune in and actually hear.

I heard this:

Sometimes our strength is only as solid as is the support around us.ย 

Looking back at my life I can attest to this.ย  I recalled a time when I had made a big decision – which included a promise of help – and that help was suddenly and unexpectedly withdrawn – and then oddly put back in my place but only temporarily and then held over my head – which meant this big decision I had made was suddenly threatened.ย  I had no other solid support around me at the time, so I did what I needed to do to simply survive.

Getting to know a new friend, stories are being shared.ย  One of the stories included her having a similar situation only she had rock solid support during her decision to change her life – and it remained – allowing her that necessary sense of safety one needs in making such a decision.ย  Knowing someone has your back.ย  A phrase I have heard too often throughout my life by people who clearly didn’t.

Today if I hear it – I let the actions back up the words.ย  And if they don’t, I remove and walk away.

The more I heal, the more I see myself, the more I OWN my Worth in a way that is quiet and thus authentic, the more I level up.ย  The more I ask of myself, the more I ask of anyone for whom is to be in my life.ย  If the words don’t match the action, I move on.ย  If the alignment isn’t there, I move on.

It comes down to Love.ย  Love – the energy – the action – is what is solid – is what shows up – is what has our backs when we need it to.ย  I have not had nearly enough of that experience.ย  And that’s painful.ย  Really f’ing painful.ย  Some of it was me and my choices – taking anything or anyone who came along – settling – oh god how I have settled – plus clinging on to the whole “blood family” illusion.

Some of it was just shitty people.

While it would be wonderful to have had that true familial experience, I don’t.ย  Not in the way I have truly needed – which is to provide unconditional support.ย  As I’ve said many times here, if someone is in need, I do my best to listen and hear, ask what they need, then f’ing do it if I can.ย  I finally began to truly just distance and walk when I had a moment of desperation and pain and said, “ask me what I need g. d. it and I will tell you”.ย  Silence followed.ย  They were not interested in – not able.ย  Whatever.ย  Same result.ย  And yet all along – my inner Me knew – this was not going to ever feel ok or be Safe.ย  If I could go back in time and say just one thing to my young self it would be to ALWAYS LISTEN TO AND TRUST THAT INNER VOICE.

Always.

We don’t have to do this world alone.ย  Remember how I’ve been saying that in the end we rescue ourselves, but no one does it alone.ย  I wrote this rather haunting song over 20 years ago.ย  I can’t remember all of the lyrics but a few of the lines said this:ย  Loneliness doesn’t have to be – a part of the human condition – can’t you see – we have each other – to hold onto – when the world is unfriendly.

Here are a few early day finds.ย  Ya’ll be good to yourselves and each other.

Love,

V.

******

 

So done with this b.s.ย  Similar skies for my area – ate outside and thought “nice day for some haarp music”.ย  Arsetwats.

 

 

I’ll give you a hint (you ain’t nuthin’ but a hound dog)………..Roseanne was right all those years ago on tv…………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Sometime between now and September“………

******

ย  ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™

6.12.24 ~ End of day finds…………..

 

 

I just saw this "You're not lazy you only have a certain amount of energy and right now you are using it all to survive" i don't know who needs to hear this but I know someone does

 

Image

 

 

Looks like a contact lens case……….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BREAKING: Anna Paulina Luna May Push ‘Inherent Contempt’ Vote Forcing Sgt. of Arms to Immediately Arrest AG Merrick Garland (VIDEO)

 

 

 

 

 

 

******

ย  ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™

6.11.24 ~ Additional interesting finds worth noting plus a bizarre experience

 

Here is (just one example) showing we live in a simulation.ย  Before I headed out tonight, I felt that narc program that likes to create chaos and confusion come in.ย  I got a bit lost in it (as in I started to shrink and go numb/freeze) so I didn’t do my usual “energy pow wow” stuff.ย  Driving down the road, this motorbike shows up off to my right in the bike lane, going the same direction.ย  He continued beside me until he continued on his way North while I turned (east).ย  45 minutes later, coming home, I approach an intersection and SEE THE SAME DUDE SAME BIKE – coming from the East.ย  He literally cut me off – he did. not. see. me.ย  It was twilight by this time, so I had my lights on.ย  He headed the same direction as I was until I said “that’s it” – I didn’t want him in my experience – so I sped up and passed him, leaving a big distance.ย  (ah if only it were that easy for every unwanted encounter, eh?)

Also noticed while we were out – as we walked inside a department store – there were some people but not much – but within 2 minutes – no joke – the store was suddenly very crowded and VERY loud – so much so my girl gives me a look and says, “mom let’s go home NOW”.ย  I agreed – but decided to stop off at one of the big obnoxious box stores – one I hadn’t been in in awhile (their CV policies were unbelievably draconian).ย  O M G – talk about a maze – aisles blocked off – making you walk allllllllllllll the way around here and there.ย  Rows of over-priced crappy food.ย  So we decided to leave – after it took a bit to figure out the way out.ย  Then walking out to the parking lot – I see people speeding like mad through the lot – then a row – a literal row of Prius’ – all following one another – gathering into another mass of cars suddenly leaving the lot all at once.ย  That was it for me.ย  I pulled over – munched on some pretzels while I waited for all of them to leave.ย  Once they did, I was the only one driving out of the lot and the only one at the light.

W E I R D.

Here are some additional finds.ย  Please help me out by supporting my work – donating and sharing.ย  It means a lot – whatever you can afford.ย  Thank you!

Love,

V.

***

 

I woke up this morning thinking about this one:

 

 

 

 

I’m so tired of the fear-porn being pushed on this by some accounts who tell us it’s a lie or a scam or it’s to get us to go in the “wrong” direction.ย  I don’t know of ANYONE who has been struggling $$ for so very long that if offered some financial abundance to change their life – who in their right mind would turn that down?ย  With where I am in my life right now – at this moment – I GLADLY accept and receive abundance to do what I need to do.ย  With open arms – with an open heart and with a lot of gratitude.ย  And who in their right mind not to mention who in their hearts would think if someone did that, they get a bad ending or less-than ending?ย  Just UGH enough already!ย  Love is love.ย  PERIOD.ย  And it comes from the heart and intentions and goodness of the person – not if they make some choice that “higher ups” disagree with.

 

 

 

 

 

And some heart smiles:

 

 

******

ย  ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–

6.11.24 ~ Interesting happenings/finds

 

Taking a pause from working with my girl on math – converting percents to decimals and writing numbers as a percent.ย  Had to relearn some things but I find it fun.ย  ย It satisfies some part of my brain.ย  So I went looking out on the stage to see what’s going on – some interesting happenings.

Love,

V.

******

 

 

 

BREAKING: Jurors Reach Verdict in Hunter Biden Gun Trial: GUILTY OF ALL THREE FELONIES – FACES UP TO 25 YEARS IN PRISON

 

 

7/11………….

 

Image

 

 

This is interesting………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“it will not begin easing monetary policy until it has more evidence that inflation is falling sustainably towards it long-term two percent target.”

 

 

guilt………..deep abiding guilt……….

 

And another.ย  Him have no money……….

 

 

******

ย  ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–