Category: Daily Notes

I am listening to Lisa’s latest DTC (from last night).  She speaks of these 3 different layers being played out.  The deep state (w/the virus working through them) and the “good guys” and then we have the “this game here is ending” that, I feel, is “on top” of the other two.  This is my perspective of the 3 layers.

I also feel and see too that whatever the parasites throw just isn’t sticking – at least for long. It has no weight for it does not hold Truth.  As Lisa says – the wall they are throwing their agendas at is made of teflon.  What we are seeing is pretty much out of the book – The Art of War.  You mirror your enemy.  You “strike” when least expected.  And you let your enemy expend their ammunition (energy) until you strike back and knock them down.  It is like a dance.

I like how Lisa says this is being done in such a way as to not “break the mind”.  For me, seeing the chaos in the world is making it easy for me to let go of the game/experience here.  I am quite literally having things disappear that I normally use in my daily life and today as I was getting upset over what I could not find I heard “Let it go.  This is something you don’t want to be doing anyway.”  And yet….some things still need to continue for I am still here….so I am sitting on the fence you could say – doing what I know still needs to take place here while also quite ready to drop it immediately upon the end.  So…..making the experience – for me – feel so awful – would indeed make it far easier for me to bust out of here in a moment than if I were in bliss or having a very enjoyable experience.  As Lisa said – I just want to wake up someplace else.  For me that is Home.  My personal narrative says I get pulled up and out and BOOM – I am there.  IF there is some big sky event for all prior, so be it.  I am neutral on that as far as needing to see it.  As long as my family – especially my girl – goes with me – that is all my heart longs for at this time.

I had a feel earlier today about the process of watching this movie while waiting for the Main Event.  Anyone know about The Spaghetti Factory restaurant?  It’s here in the states – at least out west.  Anyway when you walk in, there is this television set that plays black and white silent movies.  They’re fun to watch but what you are REALLY there for is the food.  So while you wait for the food (the main event) you watch the silent movies – either with full focus or here and there as you look around at others, talk with your family or friends who are there with you, etc.  I hope that makes sense.  The silent movie, for me, is old.  I just want my spaghetti!  (and that spumoni ice cream – oh that stuff is sooo good!)

So as I am listening (and typing here) I hear Miss Lisa say my name and read my question.  (I was in and out of her live stream for about an hour and did not stick around to see if she would respond to what I asked).  I had asked her about July 31st (mostly because LeeLoo said the construct begins shutdown mode on that date – she said this in I think 2018) – but I said I also felt something shift on that day.  I also asked if anyone had dragons in their space lately (as I have had all week).  Anyway, that’s at around the one hour mark if anyone wants to hear her both confirm she too felt a shift on that day – mostly on the 1st (of August) as well as what she felt happened – something I feel too and this is the ability to connect “out there” took a bigger disconnect.  I continue to become less able to manifest “out there” as well as my ability to somehow dig my way out of my current experience and create the new I sooooo deeeply my god deeeeeeeeply long for – just ain’t happening.  It is quite frustrating.  I continue to feel this void/”just wait Victoria” pattern.

I appreciate how she says she is always questioning/re-evaluating her narrative – and how those closest to her would say they are probably tired of hearing her question, throwing tantrums, etc.  lol  That had me giggle as I can relate fully.  And yet, as she said, there will be something that draws her back in.  An experience that brings a Knowing.  Yes…..

I’ve continued to watch movies of my generation – movies that bring up old stuff – that get me in my Heart space.  Movies that inspire me to FEEEEEL again – young and vital and narratives of starting over.  In a movie I watched last night, there was conversation between two lovers and certainty:  Both felt a certainty about one another they had never experienced before.  That, my heart called out – THAT is what I seek.  That certainty.  That is Love.  That is Truth.  For many – ok most – of my choices in this experience, I have carried doubt.  And god – to live a life of Creating Experiences with such certainty – I crave that.  I absolutely crave that.

My heart knows exactly what I need:  LOVE (and for me Love and Freedom are one in the same)

As I heard last night – words speaking to my heart coming from Deep Within – if it isn’t Love, I am letting it go.

So be it.

Love,

Victoria

UPDATE:  I got more “stuff” that came to me in the shower portal (where else?!).  Anyway – I was tuning into this concept of the virus here – not the CHINA virus but the virus that infected us all.  When I make the choice to get angry or judgmental or just nasty with myself or anyone else, I plug myself back in to that very virus program I am trying to UNPLUG from.  HOME is doing all they can to help us unplug and encouraging us to BE from the Heart.  Be from the space of Love (as I mentioned above) – for that is what Home Original Experience is.  I literally saw a cord that would reconnect again when I do get in those moods/spaces/behaviors.  And, for me, it is a choice.  It may not be a choice to have the program narrative suddenly appear in my brain/mind – but it is my choice whether to keep myself plugged into it or not.  That is all I wanted to share.

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Thank you all so much for your support and your personal shares and your emails.  I value every one of you and this site would not be possible without you all and your support.  Ya’ll help keep me going!  

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i spent some time playing the piano today…diving deep within the complex emotions i am feeling these days.

who isn’t feeling it?

the desire to emerge myself in Love and let it hold me as i scream and cry out all of the rage and pain that i feel for myself and for others.  the choices made by evil.

WHY?  that’s the question i have today.  WHY?  why did you make that choice?  why did you choose to harm?  why do you seek to harm?  and mostly why have you continued?  how can you possibly find joy or pleasure in that?

why create if it doesn’t bring HAPPINESS?

purge the evil.

purge it.  wash it away in water.

wash it away in whatever is pure.

take my pain – all of our pain – our frustration – our angst – and take whatever of them infected us – and wash. it. away.

forever.  for good.

MAKE IT SO!

for the love of Love

for the love of God

make it so NOW!

lol

i landed in a funk earlier.  i got triggered.  i saw some article about a recent decision of the White House.  the title was for those in suburbia not having to worry about declining property values due to low income housing.

that is such a horrible thing to say to another.  you can’t move here with your poverty life style because i can’t have my property values decline.  elite privilege.  i have money.  you don’t.  eliticism disease.

that’s why we have homeless people living in tents along the river.  no one wants them in their neighborhood.  most of them are white (in my area) – half are middle age and older.  having lived in various neighborhoods, the more “wealthier” of them is not an indicator in decency.  disrespectful folks and lousy neighbors aren’t income dependent.

why aren’t we talking about the ridiculous cost of housing and the NEED for a new experience that allows ALL to own their own home and land.  not just for those who have been able to “make it”.

this entire economic system creates so much damn suffering.  it brings up my own stories and my own pain.  and i most indeed get triggered when i am asked what “I” am doing to block my own abundance.  that is not a good thing to say to me these days.  it isn’t helpful or kind and is matrix victim shaming.

i was reflecting on the protesters – those engaged in peaceful protests and those not.  they ALL want a new way of being and doing and living.  in a way i admire them.  they are actually taking action to create change.  they are DOING something.  they aren’t sitting back and allowing this alleged “movie/game” to unfold.  i may not align with their approach – but hey i give them credit in actually getting out there and doing.

today i felt i hit an end point.  i took down our flag.  i removed my #MAGA painted rock.  took down the “Q” creation my mate and i made.  i listened to some music – then suddenly wanted to listen to christmas tunes.  that was easy – music soundscape channel had on “christmas in july” tunes.  classic tunes.  charlie brown christmas and others.  i also listened to some 1950’s tunes.  a simpler time.  the energy of that time always appealed to me.

next i wanted to watch a movie.  the dvd player on my laptop doesn’t play movies now.  nor music cd’s.  my mate is occupied with the tv.  and i sit here – feeling overwhelmed – wanting some peace – wanting some love – and just wanting to watch a movie to take my mind off of this insanity.  i need to invest in a portable dvd player – an ongoing desire.

i appreciate what i have.  i make note energetically of that daily.

but oh – oh how well i would adapt to having the kind of financial abundance where dropping $50 on a luxury item didn’t break my bank.

today is one of those days where i feel i have wasted my time and focus on awakening – on “bucking” the system and doing things my way.  these hours and years of searching and sharing on personal sites and blogs feels like rather a waste.  of course i must remember i ended up going down that journey when the professional world told me “no” repeatedly.  but still….i reflect and wonder what if….what if i had walked away from the nudges and the flow that was guiding me and instead dismissed all of that and just sold out a little more than i have.

or what if i had decided to keep myself open to channeling or giving readings to people and charging $250 per session.  or if i had decided to charge people to read my words or listen to my music instead of offering it up for free and asking now and then for a few dollars.

i have royally sucked at marketing myself and have terribly under-valued my worth and gifts.

something has to give in my experience.

for now i just want a dang portable dvd player.

at least living the meager life i have has made me really appreciative of such things.

i did want to make a note on the schumann – that bubble that began earlier today (14 hours ago or s0) – which felt quite nice for awhile then the feeling left.  it hadn’t updated since noon – i checked throughout the day – the last time around 9pm PST.  it is now 11:30pm and it is now up-to-date.  but… 2 hours ago (when my mood went into south fast) we had yet another black line.   i felt severe agitation that has remained.

wtaf is going on here?

i have never seen these frequencies or patterns either- those start around 7.

is it the war – the spiritual battle and physical battle showing up more than ever before now?

some TRUTH is needed.  NOW.

gggrrrrr.

love,

victoria