Category: Daily Notes

 

 

i treated myself to a massage today.  it’s been a few years since i’ve done this for myself and it was a beautiful experience.  i had a couple of “cosmic” moments.  the first occurred when i was beginning to feel a moment of panic upon first lying down.  i looked within for strength and was not finding it in the way i wanted so i called out to claire.  send me calm so i can enjoy this experience.  i accept the love.  immediately i felt a quiet overcome me – and my body went almost limp and my mind – absolutely silent.  it was beautiful and a very welcomed gift.

the second moment came when i saw myself again in stasis.  i keep seeing that image – my real self – my light body self – sleeping.  i’ve shared that here previously and in the last few weeks, the image is growing stronger.  i am bigger (taller – long limbs) than this vessel i occupy.  i am younger.  i have long, thick hair already but what i have seen in stasis is a female with very thick, curly hair (i’ve longed for such hair for as long as i can recall). my features appear like me only – well – perfect.  “wake up!” i cried in my mind (again) today.

and then i asked – who wakes up?  my light body?  me here in this version of reality?  both?  i received no answer on that….yet.

the flat earth paradise video i linked previously – give that one a listen.  he is not the first one to state we are in stasis – our real light body selves at the north pole (had not heard that location mentioned) but i found it to be a moment of pure synchronicity that i told my mate earlier this evening about my experience during my session today and then moments later i return to watch the rest of the flat earth paradise video only to hear just seconds in that “we have bodies, separate bodies, from this current shadow state which are merely sleeping which are merely dreaming up this illusion.” chills and tears.

i know this is a game.  i am fully willing to take full responsibility for all roles i have played.  i am fully willing and ready for taking responsibility for my assistance in creating this game.  i am open to accepting i chose this entire experience of separation (still on the fence on that one until i know the truth – were we tricked or did we agree to this).  i am willing to forgive ALL who created this game of illusion.  i am ready for the truth.  i am ready to end participation in this game.  i am ready for my freedom.

for now i wish to thank those of you who graciously offer donations to me so that i can afford to help keep this avatar going.  today i learned where my body holds tension and it was in new places i was not yet aware so i will be returning for more treatment (well in so long as they will offer me up sheets not dried with dryer sheets – my whole family is very sensitive to these things – if not i will have to find another place).  i signed up for just a 45 minute session as i was not comfortable splurging for a full hour.  anyway – thank you – and please keep those donations coming and i will continue sharing my rambles of interesting brilliance as well as other tidbits of info and intel as we awaken and break FREE.

love and gratitude to you all ~

victoria

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UPDATE:  i would like to add this.  my biggest issue(s) could be resolved by money.  if all who visit here regularly would donate $5-$10/month, i could improve my living conditions greatly.  that is the help i am seeking – nothing more, nothing less.  thank you for understanding.  

i need a new life.  and i need help.  please someone listen to me for once – listen – hear what i say i NEED and if you can help then please help.  that is all i have to say for now.  thank you.

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victoria

 

see her?  see that woman above?  that is me lately.  most indeed today.  i feel frazzled and out-of-sorts.  the magnetics combined with the overall energies of humanity and the personal and collective purging and the creating of new and the resistance to all of that feel like they are at a boiling point now.  am i being compressed?  pulled apart?  tossed around like a towel in a dryer?

i had an interesting wave of “something” hit me in the water portal tonight. off to my left i felt i was moving – slowly – and i had to see if my body was actually swaying (by opening my eyes and focusing).  it wasn’t.  it was an energy experience only.  there is something about the left side of my auric field.  this is where i have felt energies pulling on me as well as hearing those brief messages to guide me or pass along a new thought/insight, including one that literally saved my life when i was 19.

or this could simply be a pull by Big Me to plant myself in bed (which given the location of the shower portal is literally off to my left)…..ha!

i noticed something interesting yesterday.  i have been facing this struggle within – being i want NEW so deeply (i resist using the term desperately and yet that is part of the experience at times)…. and most all that is 3D is just so stale and out-of-alignment to me that try as i might to think and be and do otherwise, i simply cannot shake that “stale” feeling – that resistance that tells me to let that all go because NEW is coming (WHEN?!)….and  on the other hand given i want NEW so deeply i began taking some steps to DO NEW – here – now.  one of them is how i approach schooling my child.  i implemented a new approach this past week and it worked pretty good – although energetically within i knew this entire “follow the system educational standards” was NOT in alignment with what i wish to expose her to.  so as i said….worked pretty well….until today when my girl suddenly reverted and resisted and i decided to just “call it a day”.

the challenge is real.  the struggle.  and i simply do not know what to do DIFFERENT about creating this new life i desire.  brutally honest when i explore and seek, i feel like i am force-fitting a life when i engage in almost ANY THING considered/labeled 3D.

that’s it – right there – my absolute truth.

if it’s part of the “this is what the system offers” – it feels fake and forced.  and yet we know the drill – this is where we are.  this is what is offered.  i have moments where i wish i had remained “unawake” until the moment of the event/transition.  having the visions and the knowing’s is just fucking brutal at times when you KNOW there is different and yet, here we are…..

here we are…many of us energetically exhausted….discombobulated…..not only being bombarded by plasma and protons (and i know some are far more sensitive than are some others – i am one of those who is extremely sensitive to energies – PERIOD)…… not to mention outside attacks……we are also encountering the always energized spiritual ones who cheer us on to “keep on doing the work” or the messages that we’re on our own – we chose to came here – ain’t no one helping us (what happened to the “you’re not alone” message?)……well, all of “that” puts us – certainly me – into the state of mind as portrayed in the image above.

oooh and i swear if i hear one more time “i stayed in bed all day and downloaded codes” i am going to find out where this person lives, drop off my child for a few days and say “i know you will be more than willing to help out this Being who would LOVE to ‘stay-in-bed-all-day-and-download-codes'”….although i would likely actually sleep and thus accomplish nothing spiritually-advancing….

i know i am doing the best i can….although i can probably cut back on the ice cream i’ve been placing into my mouth lately…i can – but i likely won’t….as i said almost 2 years ago – i am more like the character in “michael” – one who has a deep love (most of the time) for the heart of humanity and for the well being of every one of us (most of the time) and yet who is also not very politically or spiritually correct and tends to have a love of sweet things. and a natural affinity to drop an occasional “F” boom….

for in truth, we DO come in all types, sizes, shapes and colors.  and it’s about time we (me too) honor this.

….whether we are in that quiet/accepting state….or the discombobulated one.

love,

victoria

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i wasn’t planning on sharing anything else here at least in terms of my stuff but then the running water phenomenon kicked off my inner explorer and well, i got some stuff.

i had been pondering some information i listened to in a youtube video.  the topic was the matrix and the harvest.  it felt fearful and i did not like what i was reading so i tuned in to get clarity.  i let go of my fear and said ok let’s see this for what it really is.  what i received was that the info this person shared was just one of many timelines that was put into place as we transition – many different scenarios (or timelines).  this particular one was one of separation – power over – judgment.  it is also not going to be allowed to happen.

i then saw a variety of timelines – at least i got a feel for many and yet “over-riding” every one of them was this beautiful wave like energy of Pure Source Energies and Frequencies.  ALL returning to Source.  no more separation.  no more power over.  that game is over.  it’s like the timeline shift i felt after the 2016 election.  HRC winning was one timeline.  Trump winning was another.  we know which timeline was put into place.  and as i have shared here when i woke up after election night, i could strongly feel the shift – the new timeline that had been put into place.  i didn’t even vote that year (serious political apathy after 2 decades of learning the truth and having no trust for ANYONE in the political field) – so the experience truly surprised me.

anyway so the gist of the message is ALL attempts to over-ride the LOVE WAVE (Source Frequencies) WILL NOT WORK.

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victoria

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where to begin?  how about religion.  seems as though several states are bringing back classes (public schools) on the bible.  really?  our president even supports that.  religion is part of the program here.  religious dogma. and this certainly does not belong in our school systems but instead in the home and at places of what are called “worship” (i don’t like the term – it implies bowing down to another and that is just another power-over/submit narrative).

door out of here is where?

having a difficult time on days like today especially in keeping my mouth shut.  there are many people in my life for whom i have said we cannot discuss politics, including one individual that dropped a sarcastic jab today at me while having a conversation.  i mentioned someone i knew (who is mentally challenged) has the emotional state of a 5 year old.  “kind of like trump,” he said, laughing and pointing at me as if to say “how are you gonna take that one?”

now did i take that one?  normally i would say “don’t go there” or “oh come on we agreed…”  not today.  nope.  today i was not having such passive-aggressive behavior tossed at me.  so i said “wrong answer.  the 5 year old emotional behavior is coming from people like pelosi and schumer.  the clinton’s.  the obama’s.  the bushes and all of the other sick ones who have made money trafficking our children while sacrificing their little lives for their thrills.”  his eyes began to blink quickly.  he had nothing to say to what i was saying. i spoke calmly but with solid assurance and quite quickly – looking him directly in the eye as i spoke.

the common consensus now is there are so many fake people here.  clones and who knows what other technologies the matrix master’s put here.  i for one am fed up done with engaging with any of them.  i don’t see them awakening- they aren’t capable.  that’s not in their program code.  at least for most.  perhaps some will.  and of those i would say most won’t care even when faced with the truth of the dirt and the evil.

you can see my faith in people is low – the ones who are unawake – the ones who are deeply deeply programmed.  faith – the word i spoke of last night. however my faith in ME and my tribe of awakening beings – my tribe from home – is solid as is my vision for us all getting out of here.  at this point i do not feel a purpose here for any of us.  we have put in our time….done our work….for those of whom align with this we deserve – we are owed – the right – the freedom – to go on to our next creation experience where we have seen and felt for so long.

and so it is.  a supportive Universe makes it so.

love,

victoria

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I had a conversation earlier this evening with brother Rick.  I have moments where I am so grateful for these conversations as they encourage me to take a breather, go within and find that well of silence that contains so much.  I had been in my usual space – ungrounded and pre-occupied with 3d stuff – answering questions from the young child in the house, getting dinner ready, engaging with my mate.  I don’t know how I do that without going batshit crazy as such “doing’s” are COMPLETELY contrary to Who I Am.  I know some from home get a kick out of observing me in this role – likely a first for me.  Wife.  Mama.  It is such a different way here in this realm compared to Home.  Home we have partnerships – no “commitments” other than to freedom.  Children are welcomed in and there is so much more to help with their needs and development – indeed MUCH more support. HRC was right in one way when she said “it takes a village” only her definition of village is the state.  In truth, in traditional ways, the village are the groups of people who live in the small community.

So tonight brother Rick is sharing these insights and I’m at the stove frying potatoes, also engaged in a conversation of fleeting topics with my child.  In time I sit down at the table – food on everyone’s plates – and take a deep breath.  I go within.  We were talking about the event, going home and testing.  Flow began to swirl and I said “testing” really comes from within and it isn’t a test as many define it.  This is not a school, contrary to new age belief.  This is a ground of playing and creating.  All else is matrix control systems.  This experience we call “testing” is really a pull to remember Who We Really Are.  That’s it.  “Testing” is our call from home to surrender all that is not of a loving space – all that doesn’t align with who we are and what we really want.  It inspires and moves us to let go our stories of this movie here.  Not forgetting them – just forgiving.

We had another brief exchange when I said something about disengaging.  I then saw an image in my mind.  I got up from the table, took some paper, pen and a round storage lid whereby I made a circle a bit larger than my hand and wrote the word DISENGAGE NOW in the center.  This will be my tool to use when I am getting caught up in the drama’s and stories.  Place my hand on it and speak the words out loud then make a deeper decision on what I really wish to do – how I wish to experience this moment.  I placed it in the center of the house for all of us to use.

I have also been contemplating the concept of faith.  I have seen this unwaivering faith in some people I know who are very religious.  I admire this faith.  Deeply, I long for such a state of solid “IT”.  I felt into this word and what it means – to me – and compared it to my own experience of  the term.  I am more of one to have hope.  And yet hope has a feeling of lack to it.  “I HOPE this will happen” instead of “I have faith this will happen.” Faith KNOWS.  Hope longs.  Faith has no room for doubt.  Hope has that energy of doubt.  Hesitancy.

Same type of experience as is knowing as compared to thinking.  Knowing just KNOWS.  Thinking has a lot of stories to it that can wax and wane and leave you lost if engaged too long.  The more words used the easier it is to get lost.  This is my experience.

Knowing.  Solid and unwaivering.

Faith.  Solid and unwaivering.

I am being called to leave behind the ways of thinking and hoping and stepping into that powerful space of Knowing and Faith.  (lol  i just thought “i hope i’m ready”.)

Thank you old matrix story but it is time to take this experience Home.

Love,

Victoria

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it has to be the protons.  the pressure on my chest is intense today.  also having right ear pressure as is my mate.  so with the chest issues….deep breathing is keeping me grounded.  although i do feel part of this is stress and some needs and self care and love being too neglected.  last night’s dream experience i was having a conversation with an unknown (to me now) male.  he wasn’t understanding nor pleasant as he told me he could and would talk to me if only i weren’t so occupied with my children. there were two there – my daughter and one of her friends.  “oh, no, only one is mine,” i said.  rather than being understanding, he continued to give me a look of judgment while refusing to converse with me so i walked out of the room while feeling if he isn’t willing to understand my current life experience he wasn’t worth my time.  so i headed to the shower for some quiet solitude.  inside the shower however were shoes –  my mate’s shoes, my child’s shoes as well as a yoga ball (that would be mine).  cramped quarters.  i then noticed the door to the bathroom was open and broke in tears as i said how wonderful it would be if someone could pick up after me.

that is my life.  cramped quarters.  desperately needing a vacation and some TLC.  and not nearly enough solitude.  last night i remedied part of that by shutting myself in the bedroom, putting on some music and dancing all by myself.  it was refreshing.  more of that is a must.

earlier today in the “real” shower i called out to jesus.  that’s not something i do but given something i read recently on the power to call out that name to dispel low frequencies and invite clearing and freedom, i gave it a try. plus i did it once many years ago when i was literally under physical attack by another dimensional entity.  it worked immediately.  today however i was not desperate in the moment.  this was one of fatigue.  weariness.  i commanded freedom for every one of us.  inside and outside.  let the energies of freedom pour into this realm and saturate every inch of it – wiping out any and all energies of control and power over in ALL forms of life and in all creations – organic and artificial.  MAKE IT SO NOW!  

what’s interesting is my mate did the same thing himself this morning – without knowing i had done.  so i invite you to do the same.  make it go universally viral.  make this love wave spread.  why wait?  seriously – does anyone have a real answer to that “we have to wait and be patient” when we KNOW that ALL can switch and change in a heartbeat.

yes.

love,

victoria

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