We had a mostly dry, sunny day today so I took some pictures this afternoon and at the setting sun to share. The need to go within was very noticeable today. I thought more than once of the word “hibernation”. Including a capture of the nighttime moon. It’s really a beautiful night tonight.
Also of reflection is a ladybug visitor we have in the home. Call her a roommate at this point. Each night, an hour or so after sunset, she drops down from somewhere and lands by my computer. The first night I noticed her on my hand where she was content to remain until I finally gently nudged her off. Tonight – same experience. She crawled over to one of my gemstones I keep on the table and took a nice long nap. You will see the photo below included. She has since moved a bit but still remains near the rock’s presence. Must have good energy. [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]
[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”] Solstice Blessings to you all. [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]
editor victoria’s comment ~ i had to share this one. i woke up this morning thinking of loie and feeling there was a message from her – and wondered why i hadn’t seen it yet. not that i have ever had one of these communications with her….i never have which made me wonder why i would even be thinking of her. so when brother rick sent me a portion of this message i had one of those “whoa maybe need to given this one some of my focus.” and maybe i need to get used to this concept that “we’re all connected” – here, there and everywhere. i am not sharing the entire piece – just the portion where Loie speaks (Loie as I understand it is Heather Ann Tucci Jarraf’s mother who passed some years back and begin coming through in messages such as this one). i will post the source link of course for you to read the piece in its entirety.
reading through this one – the message in this for me – to let go. to BE all that I Am. Now. just BE and FEEL and ALLOW. allow the ALL to flow into me as i am now. all else creates restriction in my body. i know that. and yet i still want to SEE and KNOW ALL NOW. now now now! and when i get into that space of commanding and demanding i feel tense. as i type these words i feel it out and think it out. here is what comes to me: i am more than this current body. more than this current stream of thought. more than my known history. more than my stories. there is expanded ME (where? who? i don’t know the answers to that one) – and it is the expanded ME that is creating this NEW that i (and so many of you) have seen in visions, dreams and just feels. this is about trusting there is more than just me. there is ME and ME is always working now on my behalf to the betterment of me and all that me desires/wants to create and experience.
all that said ~ i know the me (and likely ME) do not consent to EVER participate in such an experience as we have here – this separation and power over/control game. NEVER. AGAIN.
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victoria
******
Loie: Bill, love. I am here. Always. And you feel me. All ways? Loie.
Loie: Know that I am with you. Now. These moments of incongruity are not unexpected.
Loie: There are many paths and detours as we all create the new. Feel me? Loie.
Terran: Yes Loie. I thought we’d uncovered most of the rabbit holes but this is a biggy.
Loie: Love. This is no ‘rabbit hole’. This is a moment of reconciliation. Of seeing ALL THAT IS. Of holding and letting go. Feel me? Loie.
Terran: Yes.
Loie: Bill, Dear. Ready for a frequency? New and fresh? And from deep within you? Loie.
Terran: Yes
Loie: Love. You are more than you know. Loie.
Terran: I know little of me…
Loie: Sending now. Loie.
Loie: Deep, deep breaths, love! Loie.
Terran: I’m seeing a white square flag faded red border (almost pink) a big faded red “O” and a faded red scratch like red mark thru the middle that makes it look like a “Q”
Loie: Go deeper, dear. This is the outskirts. The details do not make sense, yet. But go deeper within. Loie.
Loie: I am with you, love. Here is a blast. Loie.
Loie: Feel me?
Terran: Can you boost
Loie: Boosting. Amplifying. Now. Loie.
Terran: Seeing a snowy red sandstone cliff vertical like the monastery in Lhasa Tibet but feels like America or maybe Antarctica. Getting a Utah vibe.
Okay will go deeper
Loie: Bill, love. This is external. Go deeper. And within. No landscapes or borders. Only pure energy within. Loie.
Terran: I see water on reddish stone
Loie: Bill. Love. No forms where you are going. Formlessness. Ready? Boosting now. Loie.
Loie: Love, you will not ‘see’. Only ‘feel’. I am with you. Loie.
Terran: I only get squiggles
Loie: Bill, I am with you. Feel this? Loie.
Terran: Can you boost?
Loie: Boosting. Amplifying, love. Loie. Loie: Love, you gave form to the universe. Release that now. Loie.
Terran: How?
Loie: Breathe love. Release all thoughts. All perceptions. All desires. Just breathe, dear. I am with you. Loie.
Terran: There’s a slight panicky feel similar to what I felt before the Atlantis 2 work
Loie: Love. I am with you. Feel me?
Terran: Yes
Loie: Love is all around you now.
Loie: Relax into the flow of all that is.
Loie: You are perfect. Always. All ways.
Loie: Any perceptions and thoughts you hold of not ‘making the cut’ do not do justice to you now. Loie.
Terran: Thank you. Those are religious programs
Loie: Bill, dear. I share this. Everything that each one created. All creations. Are unified.
Loie: It matters not who created what. Or who took over another’s creation. Or how those creations caused reactions within creation.
Loie: Do you feel me?
Terran: Yes I get your drift
Loie: Love, ALL of this began as an experimental game. Loie.
Loie: No one is to blame. It is all perfect. And perfectly done, love! Loie
Loie: And yes, we all feel the ‘extended’ version of this experience is causing a ‘feeling’ of wariness and fatigue.
Loie: This is where we all feel the unknown together. As a unified field of creation, love. Loie.
Loie: Ready for a pulse, dear? Loie.
Terran: Yes
Terran: I just get blue sky and green grass
Terran: Kind of like the windows XP wallpaper
Loie: Oh, love! You are perfect! I am with you now and always. Frequencies flowing continuously now. Loie.
Terran: Feeling pulses right to left thru my body
Terran: They are pulses
Loie: Yes, love! There is ‘no thing’ to see. Only to feel. Always! Loie.
Loie: When you feel the completeness of these pulses, send them out to All. Loie.
Loie: Bill, love. I am with you. Loie.
Terran: Feel a growing sense of well being emerging from my chest it’s welling up
Loie: Oh, love! Perfect! When you are full, share it with all! Loie.
Terran: Pulses now coming up legs from feet
Terran: Feeling it in my shoulders and slight headache which means usually time to send it on to all
Last night I had a dream….that I did not expect. Amazing things can happen with this thing we call the “flow” when I let things go – and interestingly enough when I tell someone “I’m not getting anything on that right now”, which I did last night.
So the dream started off with me sampling some foods. It felt like a party of some sort. Maybe sending off party? I saw a variety of people from my past – people I haven’t seen in almost 20 years. Old friends, lovers. The room began to clear out. I left with the wave of people I once knew (but was not really interacting with in the dream). The sky was bright and sunny. The air temperature was pleasant. I was in the back of the group and watched them head downhill towards a large library. They began to walk down the stairs to this massive complex. I stopped and knew that was not my path, my place to go. I knew I had received as much learning/knowledge (this was a library after all) as I wished to experience.
So I looked off to my left. There was a large hill with steps built in – railing included. I knew that was where I was to go – where I wanted to go. I get to the top and see this massive high speed train sitting there. People were happy as they mingled around, some talking to others, some boarding the train. It wasn’t yet time to leave but people were being allowed to “climb aboard”. Actually “being allowed” isn’t the term – there was no energy of “no you can’t get on board now/yet” – it was one of pure allowing. I approached one of the doors and spoke to a woman holding a clipboard. She was wearing a Conductor’s hat. She gave me a smile, greeted me as if she knew me/was expecting me and asked if I was ready to go. “Yes,” I said, smiling. I started to climb on board but then stopped when I looked off to my right and saw an old childhood friend (who was not in the group I had just left). My best friend from junior high, high school, college and on into adulthood where we drifted apart in the past 10, 15 years or so. She was young again and looked hesitant. Confused.
I told her how happy I was to see her. Everything was ok. I told her I would LOVE to have her board the train with me and go on this adventure. She relaxed a tiny bit – and still looking hesitant but she smiled a small smile and the dream ended.
What’s interesting is in Linea’s latest video (from last night) she spoke of the people in our life. How those who are completely asleep – not in knowledge of what’s going on politically/socially/spiritually and all that – how they are still impacted energetically by those of us who are awakening. Kinda like a magnet which will be felt at the time of Transition. The choice of course always remains with the Being what he/she wishes to experience. I had already pondered that but it was nice to hear again. So perhaps this encounter with my friend was showing me the truth of this.
Now on to the good stuff – the train – and climbing aboard. I have used that reference more than once when speaking of the Event and going Home. Ready to climb on board and GO. Train, plane – anything that moves fast and takes me Home. The energy in the dream was light and playful. Content. Calm. Very easy to “be there” in anticipation of what was to come and feeling completely free – at ease – in leaving behind the old hmmm what’s the best term….scene is the word that comes to mind.
I am left feeling we must be close for me to have such a dream.
Other than that, whatever is happening now – here – is having me ponder all sorts of things while also feeling an even DEEPER need (is that even possible now??) to be with just ME in uninterrupted silence. I did have an experience today – twice – where I could feeeeel in my body and KNOW in my mind “this is a dream”. It was like a fleeting, fast experience that I can only describe as an out-of-body acid trip. That’s all I have to go on even though I’ve never had an OBE (that I know of) nor have I ever done acid. Kinda made me feel wonky/dizzy for a moment and I had to collect myself.
Stuff is moving, that I feel. That I KNOW. The details? That I do not know. Yet. As I said in a comment I left on another page a little while ago – yes all here IS an illusion. And yet that illusion feels VERY real to all that we are here. And it is only when this illusion ENDS and we SEE and KNOW that we can and will move on.
Here’s to Love, Truth and Home…
Victoria
******
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WORDPRESS updated itself to a new version and now it appears my subscribers are not receiving email notifications when a new post appears. I had this issue awhile back and if memory is correct, I think it rectified itself. I worked with the plug-in and will see what happens. In the meantime if you are not receiving notice of posts, know it’s not because I have gone to the new earth realm or took of to hawaii for a few weeks. Ha!
It was too late for me to share this one last night. I was so engrossed with Lisa Harrison’s latest – realizing once again I often receive the same feels/messages as she does only I don’t pay them any attention because they arise so gently and quietly and are very fleeting. Given how occupied I am on 3D…uh…crap most of the time, I do not take the time to give them the focus they need.
So last night had an experience in the shower (where else!) and it aligns with what Lisa said about guilt (at the 27:40 minute mark in her recent video). She says the guilt she is feeling feels as though it is coming from BIG her saying, essentially, “i am sorry for putting little through all of this.”
so I am in the shower and I am looking at the duck my girl had brought into the bath earlier in the evening. It’s my duck from when I was an infant. For obviously cosmic and necessary reasons, she decided to put it into the bath last night. A first. So I am looking at this baby toy of mine and I wondered why I kept it. What made me keep it all these years. It isn’t like I played with it once I outgrew baby toys in the tub. I heard “I guided you to save it for this very moment in time so I could tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for putting you through this. I didn’t know how hard it would be on you and for you.”
Wow talk about a moment. That brought up some necessary tears. I will leave that one at that.
I was awake this morning at 5:00am – wide awake and hungry. So I quietly went into the kitchen and drank from OJ and had a slice of bread. An interesting choice but that’s what my instincts said. As I went back to bed, I began to receive a bunch of “stuff” – I couldn’t begin to keep up – and as I did my entire body began to shake and tremble – including my head. It was intense and I began to panic but soothed myself. I don’t recall anything else after that as I returned to sleep.
I am also seeing that big Me speaks more than I realize. As I stated above, I just don’t always give those feels and messages focus.
I saw again today when I am in drama or conflict of any kind I want to scream. I become choked up and congested.
Some of us with children are noticing they are becoming a bit “bat shit” crazy. Very emotional. Outbursts. Sleep disruption. Just your overall craziness. So we are having conversations about that. Talking about the programs here. Fear/programmed speak as compared to Love speak.
Today while out and about I had a moment of overwhelm in the car. I went “above” and beyond the mental chatter and said “this is just a program. it cannot harm me.” I felt a calm go over my body and as I did, I was guided to look at the trip counter on the odometer and the clock on the radio. The trip counter read 44:4 and the radio, 4:04. (i was driving or else i would have taken a picture with my cell phone. it’s old and takes several steps just to take a picture so you will just have to go with my words.) I am no longer trying to “figure out” the meaning of the number sequences. I instead see this as highest Me feeling into me, reaching out to offer love and support.
As far as energetics today, I was quite tired again. I had to lay down after dinner in bed where I was out in moments for about an hour. I will link some graphs next. For now I am allowing this “existential cleanse” as Lisa called it. Very fitting.
I do want to add this before I close up this one. It continues to be my feel that we do not NEED to be fully healed or to be totally detached from all of our programs in order TO….transition..exit….go home….absorb the event or experience it….etc. etc. It DOES however, for me that is, feel as though this is my path, my choice TO detach and release as much as I am able to to keep me focused on HOME. Perhaps that will make it easier on me. Perhaps it is simply part of my path TO home. I know this ~ I do have visions at times and can FEEL such visions within of my physical body being released from energy cords (programs). And when I have these experiences, I literally move my body and shake off whatever energy was attached to me – here there and everywhere. And I am still playing with that dream I had where I saw myself inside of a room surrounded by computers where I had the desire to yell “WAKE UP” I have a feeling there may be quite literal about this and not just a metaphor.
Truth and Freedom for us all.
Love,
Victoria
******
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here is my own: the ability to be around others continues to be difficult – today it was all but impossible. energetically everything in my body said “do not look at me do not talk to me”. this experience isn’t even originating from my mind but instead within. also felt suddenly warm – hot actually – over-heated. my mate had the same experience at the same time. now i’m back to being cold. physical symptoms – i don’t know as i said last night if it’s “upgrades” or the weather or lack of sleep or the spraying – or all of it or a combo of it – but these include congestion, throat irritation, gum issues (feels like at times something is trying to come through my gums – difficulty sleeping (lots of tossing and turning even though i crave sleep). did i mention irritation at every level? lol i tried to tune into the “love for all” and could only feel how much my heart feels broken. disappointment has been the theme of the day lately – huge feelings of disappointment over my life. i look around at the normies – their big homes – their vacations and trips and wonderful family support – and i feel small and tired and this feeling of “i will NEVER keep up with that”. where would i even begin again? it is a challenge just to get through my fairly simple day now. seeing me as superwoman out in the world – i don’t have it in me energetically or physically to do that at the current time and i am not convinced i will again.
here are some other tidbits i found today (experiences of others):
*Lymphatic systems are being Upgraded in most to be more efficient at overcoming temporary sicknesses and prepare for the FULL ABILITY to be able to cure Your Physical Vessel of ANY disease…. Side effects may include higher perspiration with even water dropping from the glands in the armpits.
*new energy patterns activating the brain and the kundalini.
*Whooshing, ringing sounds in my ears. Digestive issues. Gums all feel like they’re trying to push out my teeth. Bottom of left foot feels like I stepped on hot rock (lasts about a minute before fading away yet is reoccurring). Right tonsil swollen and only irritated by swallowing. My eyesight has definitely been affected as well.
*Grumpiness – intense at times. Feeling the intensity of “energy” out there.
i don’t know if it’s the solar winds and all of that or the gentle detox i’m undertaking – or the chemtrailing – but the body is feeling a bit challenged today. achy. cough and congestion/inflammation. i picked up some activated charcoal to add that in. taking it slow of course. tonight will include foot massager, body massager and an epson salt foot bath. for now i am doing stretching which alleviates the ache/muscle tension.
i also know i am purging so not just a physical detox but emotional/mental and whatever else is me/ME – or not OF me/ME. as my girl said the other day when i began to cough “you are releasing a lot of emotions right now, mom”. she’s quite tuned at times.
earlier today – in the shower – i heard “forgiveness is the way out”. out? out of “here”? this realm? no. out of the portion of my prison i have created. as i have continued to say – this is an inner AND outer experience. it is no coincidence that i heard this at this time. for the past week i have been doing the Ho’Oponopono (i love you. i am sorry. please forgive me. thank you.) my focus has been me. when i do it with solid focus, slowly, finding where tension is within my body, it is very powerful. i also know included in this process will be forgiveness for ALL. for those moments of judgment i hold for others. i am experiencing that very intensely right now. for me it’s based on my own fears. if we’re not all on the “same page” or hold the same perception, will that only delay the flow of the awakening? for the event itself – does it really “require” a majority in order to occur? if so that could translate into those refusing to awaken – to anything – as slowing down the process and i have moments of overwhelmingly feels of “IAMDONE IAMWEARY BRINGIT HOMENOW”. it does seem that for each moment of inner calm i experience as a result of a message of pure love, the questions pop up again. which to listen to? the voice of the inner being? the voice of the brain? love. fear. both on the same spectrum – fear always seeking relief which IS love.
still figuring out that one. if there is a “figuring out”. perhaps allowing both to just BE is the answer – for me. i recall many years ago reading in The Peaceful Warrior that life is paradox. indeed it is.
i am grateful to say ~ thanks to some of you!! ~ that the fridge is full of fruit and greens and healthy foods. on the table for dinner is organic grass fed ground hamburger mixed with green onions, celery, cranberries and spices. a pure “go with the flow”. hopefully it will taste good. also have chopped sweet potatoes cooked in butter and a fruit/coconut milk smoothie.
’tis the season to eat be do healthy. with the occasional cookie thrown in.
still feeling the intense need for solitude. quiet. that has not lessened. nor has my ability to be around drama in particular conflict – conflict when i am witness to it and not actually engaged myself. i am tuning in on that one to see where the healing/releasing/understanding is. i have focused on detaching when i am witness to conflict and have seen the challenge for me with that. as i was receiving the message on forgiveness earlier today, i also felt/heard that to the Soul – conflict is unnatural. In fact, all that is not of the Flow is unnatural. And I am really beginning to tune in to that – see it and feel it. I really saw this today when I was wondering what to do with my time. Do I do something I felt I had to do – to get it out of the way? I began to fall into that when something within stopped me. Go with the flow. And if it is a choice that leaves me feeling tense within – that is not the flow. So I said “I will tend to that when the flow is right.”
I laugh now because I don’t recall what that “doing” was so it was obviously not that important.
I leave this one with the lyric: the weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delightful. Grateful for my home and the warmth and protection it provides. And grateful for all of you who continue to come here and offer your stories, your insights and your support. I thank you all for that.
Love,
Victoria
******
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Today was the day of my mate’s big doctor appointment. It was months in coming and the goal was to get him some much needed referral’s to some specialists as well as some necessary scans and labs. We were both agitated in the days leading up to the appointment. For my mate, it was going back to a system that does not recognize the disease in his body and that has also been, at times, grossly negligent in their care of him….. and for me, it was a return to another doctor and hearing the fairly comprehensive list of health concerns knowing all that I know about real cures, repressed tech and dealing with something archaic and primitive. In a nutshell – having to keep my mouth shut when I want to say “you know what he has. you refuse to acknowledge or properly treat him. grow some balls/tits and stand up to the system that controls you!” Having been through this many times over the last 10 plus years, we were both, for our own reasons, feeling that internal pressure. It was also having to admit some defeat as we had made a pact about the local hospital system – we would never go back – not just due to ethical reasons but due to his improving health at the time.
I was having some flashbacks of previous visits (prior to his diagnosis) – cried some old tears. Those visits that left me pleading with the doctors to help me know why his health was fading and they offered no real cause other than chronic inflammation and pain with no known cause. When it came to the point where the medical system was implying he was abusing the system and his condition was “in his head”, that’s when I lost it and said I could not return to this system of medicine. My mate agreed – he couldn’t do it either – so for the past 3-4 years he has been on the natural/chinese medicine route. By 2017 he was doing pretty well – certainly stabilized. Since that time, the formula has slowly stopped working, symptoms increasing, headache pain unbearable some days, so we knew he had to, at the very least, return to see how things are going on within – especially the tumor in his brain. That absolutely has to be monitored for growth, especially given the location (behind his right eye).
So……….We both had a plan prior to the visit – what would be shared – what we were willing to accept and not accept. We would be open while discerning and assertive and we were willing to walk out if his wishes were not followed and his concerns heard. You never know with a new doctor.
I intended for things to go his way. I did slow, focused, deep breathing. Then let it go as we headed to the appointment.
It was a difficult visit at times but overall I am grateful to report this new doctor was very receptive to his concerns. We didn’t mention the Lyme – we know the controversy – we know they aren’t allowed to recognize the diagnosis because of the lab used (which is THE go-to lab for all lyme medical doctors – recognized lyme docs that is). We know medical doctors lose their licenses for treating their patients for chronic lyme. And we know that no medical doctor in our area treats chronic lyme. So…..Today we didn’t even bring it up, which was the part of the plan. He got what he wanted and that is what matters. And I was there to make sure he stayed focused. He has trauma of his own with all of this and coupled with his cognitive issues, such visits can be really challenging for him. So between the two of us, as always, we got ‘er done. Mission accomplished.
Prior to seeing the doctor, we were surprised by a quick little psych evaluation that was brought into the room. We were told it had to be filled out before we saw the doctor. Didn’t like that comment one bit for obvious reasons. I glanced over it….It appeared to be fishing for info and I was not comfortable with him filling it out. It essentially wanted to know if you experienced any type of depression due to your physical condition. Well of course he does – who wouldn’t? It just felt “off” to me so I finally just filled it out for him (with his consent) and circled “not at all” to each damn question. At the end of the visit, the doctor returned to the room with concerns about how the questionnaire was filled out. She began to press him on his mental state and I interjected and told her I was going to be honest with her. I said his previous doctor, at his last doctor visit, had the hospital psych team come into the room without his consent or knowledge and press him into getting a psych analysis due TO his “depressed” state due TO his health issues. I was not there with him at the time – he had a caregiver who went who didn’t do a damn thing. If I had been there, I would have indeed spoken up. So I told her I was not going to allow him to undergo such treatment. I made it clear when he feels good, his mood is up. When he doesn’t, his mood is low. NORMAL BEHAVIOR, I stated firmly. I said if I was worried about his mental state in terms of suicidal type behavior I would have already said something to someone. She accepted my answer and we were on our way.
If such situations weren’t so stressful, I would be very effective as a patient advocate. However, because being in these situations knowing cures for all disease exists and I am in the face of so much ignorance, I would burn out quickly. But for now, I continue to make sure my mate gets the respect he deserves and the treatment he requests.
How many visits will I take him to? I don’t know. This one knocked me down energetically. Being in that room and going through the “procedure” of the system is a huge challenge – for both of us. Being “pc” anything doesn’t align with me energetically. Not that it ever has but it used to be much easier for me to do. Today it impacts me and so I have to do something with that energy. Thankful for my punching bag. [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]
And where is all of this leading? I don’t know. I keep intending for the release of the med beds or the event. Deep deep sigh with this one. I am worn from taking things one day at a time. I am worn with waiting, with allowing. Most of you know what I am getting at – the inner burning desire for Home and to Live/Create/Be/Do Freely – that we have felt/seen for so many years – to do this NOW ALREADY. To withhold this from us feels a bit cruel lately- just as much as the withholding of healing tech and healing modalities that are available and are effective but are expensive and not affordable for those of us with limited incomes feels every bit as cruel. Love does not hide. Love does not withhold. Love does. Love acts. Shares. Helps without condition or judgment.
That at least continues to be my feel for Love.
So…..Wrapping this piece up for now. We have company tomorrow – some family as well as the dryer repair man. We had a couple more $$ hits in the past week. Bathroom fan stopped working and the dryer stopped heating.
I have faith – as always – and this is the season for miracles. Here’s to some for me and my family and to all of you as well. [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]
Much love,
Victoria
******
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