Category: Daily Notes

One Word for Today: WHEW!

 

Exhaustion coupled with g/i distress followed by a plethora of tears has left me with the feel of WHEW!

I was engaging in an online discussion last night about money and all of the suffering caused by the monetary system.  It was very helpful to my heart to hear such resonating thoughts as far too often I have heard the phrase “suffering is self-caused” as though you can take the experience, place it into one little box of a definition and be done with it.

However…lol…I experienced something triggering last night when I was told the reason why I have struggled with money is because I and people like myself are not meant to have money as money is what has caused the problems most of us face.  We do not need to solve these situations with money, I was told.  And this was coming from those who were saying they want to see an end to all suffering now.

Ok then…

I sat with that message last night, went to bed and awoke with the sudden need to purge a lot of stuff.  Which I did.

I rejoined the conversation and said ok now – yes I agree we need to do away with the current model of money and how it is used to control.  I have seen that and felt this since I was in my early 20’s – and this was during the 80’s “me me me decade” so I was most definitely NOT in good company with those thoughts at the time.

So ok then…we can agree to a new system.  Yes yes yes.  However what about NOW?!  Wouldn’t giving money to the person who is homeless and cannot afford to pay for rent fix that problem and end that suffering?  Wouldn’t giving money to the person who needs medical care and/or healing help that is not covered by insurance remedy that problem and end that suffering?  I was blunt – and angry at this point.  I do not take well when someone first says we must end suffering now but no money is not the answer when in this NOW moment in this NOW time (which is where we are being guided to BE, right??) – with money still being the tool used in this NOW moment for housing and food and healing  – wouldn’t money help people in this NOW moment?

Good goddess of all that is good and decent and kind – YES IT WOULD.

Can I now reach up into the clouds of blindness and pull some of these lightworkers down to reality?

You make others invisible to you when you see the suffering, then see what can help but then push the help away because it isn’t of my spiritual caliber.

My goddess ~ I am one of THE go-to people when it comes to my distaste and total lack of resonance as to this monetary control system.  And yet I am also grounded enough, practical enough, open with my eyes and heart to know – if the money is there to help someone you frigging GIVE IT TO THEM.  Save the spiritual preaching for another time.

Love Helps Now.

Period.

That is all for now.  I have some more purging to do and a park to visit with the one person in my life who knows what Love is and Does.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Victoria

***

Thank you for supporting me and my work.  It keeps me going!

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Seeing the Darkness For WHAT IT IS and DOING Some Thing(s) About It

 

I came out into the living room, pretty fired up over thoughts going through my mind about this “be patient” and “allow” those outside of us to DO what needs to be done in the field of politics and other social realms (i.e. the exposing of the swamp and its draining).  Then I read a comment by one of you awesome Beings who more or less said what I was thinking.  It was in regards to some words in the recent Diane Canfield piece, who overall I resonate with and appreciate her work.  However, this particular passage, at the time I read it, bothered me too.  That little inner buzzer lit up.  In a nutshell, she said now was not the time to get involved in all of the politics as all was being guided by Divine plan.

That hit me wrong as well.  We are the Divine, right?  Darn right we are!  It felt off.  If one feels the desire to help expose, we need to ENCOURAGE such a feeling not say “look the other way all is going as planned”.  Feels like being told “oh don’t look that way just be patient and let the horror and unveiling and clean-up unfold”.

Or continue?

Sometimes I wonder if some of these blogs – the highly successful ones that is – are just another cabal tool with some unicorns and butterfly pretties thrown in.

Where is the anger with these people?

Do they not have any?

Where is their sense of DO SOMETHING?  DO something so this NEVER happens again!  It’s one thing when the horrors and control’s are placed upon the adults ~ but much of this involves our children.  OUR BABIES!  WE are responsible for them!

I don’t get it.

Maybe I’m not supposed to.

I know this.  I don’t like flowery words and metaphors, especially when it comes to talking about the dark horrors of 3D reality.

I like things communicated CLEARLY and PRECISELY.

Tell it like it is.  Tell it like you really FEEL it to be.  And SEE it to be.

As one of you commented, telling a parent who is just awakening to the horrors of our children being used in trafficking and for sexual deviance, for torture and sickening “power”,  that all is unfolding according to Divine plan is not going to cut it.

She is right.

We need to be having conversations about this and we need to be authentically real about it.  We need to be encouraging those seeing this information for the first time to do what WE have done – search for the truth and when we see it – ALLOW ourselves to feel the rage and disgust and pain.  Allow for the experience of cognitive dissonance instead of judging them for having it.  Encourage those seeing this shit for the first time the same freedom we have given ourselves.

Freedom.

Freedom to BE which includes the freedom to FEEL and express that feeling instead of dismissing it so you can replace it with a prettier version.

I have considered not sharing the horrors (FINALLY) being exposed.  Finally in that FINALLY the 100th monkey effect has happened, has long past gone by and this information is no longer considered conspiracy.  WHEW on that as I have been sharing some of these dark horror things with others off and on for yearSSSS.  Anyway, I have thought to not feed the dark crap by focusing on it.  Don’t want to clog up an already dark murky pipe.

And yet we’re in swamp draining mode, right?

And how do you drain a swamp?

You see it for what it is.

You let the reality of it sink it.

Then you engage in a dance of draining it, letting yourself feeeeeeeeeeel the effects it is had on your life experience, and speak out affirmatively in ways to ensure this shit NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

Not on my watch.

And not on yours.

Much love, in Warrior Spirit ~

Victoria

 

 

 

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A Beautiful, Rare Find Today

 

…by the youngest female goddess in the house.  Out on a walk earlier today, it was/has been very cold and sunny.  My favorite winter weather so lots of walks.  Today the little goddess was not happy with the cold.  Towards the end of the walk she griped she wished she had never gone on this walk, to which I automatically replied “but you never know what magic you might have missed out on!”  She grumped and walked away.  Less than 1/2 a block later, as I was picking up sticks for kindling, she walks over to me saying “mama LOOK!”  I look in her hands – several pieces of beautiful quartz crystal had found their home in concrete and dirt.

Magic indeed.

It is sitting beside her bed.  My girl ~ a conduit for the magical rocks of Gaia.

 

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Today’s Experiences and Energies ~ 12/7/17

 

Space Scene, Stars, Portal, Space

Wow!  Wowser!

And yet in spite of the enthusiasm of those words, I am sitting here like a cute little sloth.  As KP puts it “energetically flatlined”.

I hesitated sharing any of this as the last thing I want to do is mislead, share information that proves to be false or disappoint ANYONE ~ myself included!  And to be honest using words is just a huge challenge for me lately ~ both in having conversations and in explaining things.  I wish others could just look into my brain and see the pictures and/or look into my heart and see what I am feeling/experiencing there.  That is not manifested, so here in words is what I experienced today…

My day began when I woke up at 7:00am and looked outside.  Looking to the east, I saw a bright star.  I sighed as I thought “when am I going to know the truth of where exactly I am and just what exactly are YOU glowing light that we call a star?”  Some mornings I wake up and feel heavy and wonder “this system is still running.  WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?”!

This morning was one of them.

I returned to sleep for awhile and when I woke up, I heard that voice of mine that speaks to me off to the left, at and slightly above my head.  I call it my “sweet spot”.  I heard “in 6 more days you will no longer be here.”

Ok.  I know not to take these things literally, even if at times I want to ~ and do.  What I found interesting was the reference to 6 days.  That puts us within 24 hours of the 12/12 gateway.

My first inclination was to research this upcoming gateway and felt inner me say “No.  Go within and see what it means to you.”  Thank you oh higher teacher for reminding me to stop looking to others for my answers.

So I took some time later in the day, went within and heard just one word: Time.  It’s a gateway related to “time”.  Linear time?

Interesting.

But yet this word “time” also explained the experience I had as I walked to the dryer and do what I do every day after my child has a bath (well unless I am washing it after bath) ~ place her towel into the dryer.  As I did that today though, every part of my body inside truly felt/believed that I had JUST done this same “chore” moments before.  Not 24 earthly hours before. Somewhere within Me, I had literally just done this.

Well now that is interesting, I thought again.

6 days eh?

Here’s something else to add to that.  Last week neighbors of ours, who have a little girl our daughter’s age, invited us all to their house for a children’s holiday party on the 16th.  I knew the date and day and knew there was nothing on the calendar, and yet something within me hesitated. I wondered if we would even be here, I felt, which at the time I found odd.  “Of course we will be here,” I answered back in my brain.

But still that little pause within my body was there.  And it would not leave even as I slowly said “yes we should be here”.  Should.  Not ‘will’.  It’s like I couldn’t say the word.  Which again was strange to me.

I went searching for some validation as I put this all together and found some.  Well at last I found others who in the last 24 hours have had some similar experiences.  One woman was sharing how all year she has felt she would not “be here” for Christmas and currently, while a part of her wants to shop for gifts, she says something keeps telling her it is not necessary as she will not be here.  Others spoke of huge shifts experienced in the past 1-2 days.  Jumps.  Are we jumping hugely now?  Is that what this “won’t be here” references?  Is this more breaking down of the matrix ~ or more breaking away from it?

I really don’t know.  I honestly do not know.  I did read this today though on one of the ascension folks social media page:   “As a result of the rapid rise in planetary vibration, a “jump” may occur shortly, rather than a mere Shift or leap into Higher Timelines.”

I had two sudden moments of crying today where I was mourning the loss of all of “this”.  The entire experience ~ the beautiful and the horrors.  This is an experience I have had recently – the kind accompanied by tears.  It began 2 years ago almost to the day.  It was late November and as I walked around my house one last evening, I suddenly was moved to feel and say aloud: “I will miss this all when I leave”.  There were no emotions at the time.  Since then when I have had this thought I have experienced anger or frustration, impatience.  Lately though, tears of mourning have been the experience.  My mate is having the same experience.  

One last experience then I will conclude this piece.  Tonight as I was in the bathroom and I stepped out of the shower, I was able to see through the bathroom door – which was closed.  For about 2-3 seconds, there was no door.  It “melted”, for lack of a better word.  Became watery and disappeared.  It was a fuzzy image but I was able to see into the hallway through an otherwise closed door.  Want to know what I have been reading the past couple of days?  Current energies for December are revealing more of who we really are and more of what really is “out there”.  The final veils coming down.

Seeing through the illusion of this simulation is indeed a part of that.

Letting go.  Being in allowance for whatever comes out of me.  Walking in the now.

Stuff transforms and transmutes.  Things are remembered.

And magic happens.

Much woo woo love~

Victoria

***

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More Thoughts on “Waiting”

 

Ever notice how we are told by “those in control” or those in the know to “wait” for the helpful, positive, healing things?

Rape happens in a quick few moments.

Murder.

Theft.

Military personnel take out entire villages and communities in moments.

But yet when we want peace and freedom we are told to “wait”.

I do not consent to that.

Let me repeat that:

I DO NOT CONSENT TO THAT.

It is a deception.  A trick.

Matrix programs.

Rip that shit out of the energy body in this moment.

Speaking today with a dear friend who needs a new knee.  His only option offered in this realm is knee replacement surgery.  His other option is to wait until he ends up in a wheel chair.

My own mate, who has a chronic health ailment as well as one bad knee and one knee that is also needing attention.  He is facing the same situation and yet with his already fragile health, does he have the strength to undergo such a surgery?  The knee they offer only lasts 5-10 years.  Then what?

Seriously?  Then what?  Deal with it again when one is older?

It enrages me inside to know we have technology that others politely say is being repressed or withheld when in truth it is being stolen from us – technology that can heal my friend and my mate and countless others easily and quickly.

I can no longer be quiet about this.

I will no longer consent.

For every second this tech is being stolen from us, people die.

For every second this tech is being stolen from us, people suffer unnecessarily.

I don’t give a shit what reason someone may present as to why this has not been released to the people.

There is no justifiable reason.  Love cannot provide such a reason.

If any one thinks there is a justifiable reason, then they may present themselves in front of my mate and tell him the reason.  See if they can look him in the eyes and say he must wait and give their reason why.

See if they can look a dying child in the eyes and tell him or her they must wait and here is the reason why.

See if they can look into the eyes of my neighbor down the street whose mother is slowly fading away (who I regularly send out the energy of “hold on” – if that is her desire).

Freedom NOW.

All else, I do not consent to.

And I hope you all do the same.  Power of the Collective Consciousness.

 

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Today’s Experience ~ Dealing With and Releasing Matrix Illusions to Give Space for Healing and to Allow for the Return of Full Remembrance

 

What a day today was.  Let me begin by saying I removed the UFO sightings video as it turned out it was likely the ISS.  I was disappointed for a few minutes until I realized how much I had, yet again, given away my power.  I put my sense of self, my sense of magic and enjoyment and belief into something outside of Me.  I promised myself over a year ago to cease being a UFO worshipper (ok, I use the term slut – I apologize if that offends – but it works for me).  Simply because I made a mistake, doesn’t negate the numerous other experiences I have had.  And it is bringing up my “I am fed up with waiting” experience of wanting to meet some of these Beings.  It would be like if I drove by one of your homes off and on for years, I could see you, but you could not see me (just my vehicle of choice), and I don’t stop to say “hello”.

Rather rude, imho, especially if I saw/knew you wanted me to.

Others would not see it that way.

Perhaps this is more confirmation ~ for me ~ that we will NEVER collectively all be on the same “page” in terms of how we wish to BE/live/do.  As I said at an online forum earlier:  “What is irrelevant to one person is relevant to another.”  Perhaps what is happening is the outer controls are disappearing, allowing us to FULLY BE who we really wish to be, have, experience.

Those controls being the matrix.  And all of that.  Of which we dealt with a lot of that earlier today.  I won’t bore you with all of that as who wants to hear about calls to Comcast and doctor’s offices and to the chimney cleaning people who it turns out did not clean the top of our chimney – which is where most of the creosote builds up.  All did work out to the best as it can in this 3d realm.

Obviously dealing with such systems that don’t resonate can be a challenge. And yet here I am….  So I sucked it up, dove in and dealt, all the while thinking what I would rather be experiencing because I know it is my Right. Our Right.

Freedom and healing.  Anything that holds me back from that, well it is…..Done. Finished.  Over and out.  No more.  You get the picture.

An issue that came up for healing was my desire to be right.  Actually it is more that I don’t like being wrong.  I don’t like being fooled.  I don’t like looking foolish.  That brings up a whole host of other issues with the big one being I deeply care what others think about me.  I strive to present accurate information here.  If I ever post something or share it that turns out to be false, I remove it or say as such.  And I LOVE it when I see something exciting and want to share it.  And the other issue ~ the desire to be seen. Validated.  I have a desire to be and feel important to the world after feeling so insignificant for so very long.  (excuse me while I choke on those massive red pills of inner truth ~ and hand me the tissue while I bawl my little girl eyes out)  I know it’s all an illusion, these feelings, nothing more than stories, none of them really being Who I Am.  But they are there nonetheless for more purging.  Or perhaps simply analysis….and loving observation.

More on the issues.  I feel disappointment it when I feel I am seeing something in one way only to discover it is not as it appears. Disappointment sucks.  I am easily triggered in this area lately.  The path of awakening and remembering is full of disappointment and I am weary. Digging further, there is more to the story that goes something like this:  “I am tired.  I am tired of waiting.  I know what I want and I want.  it. NOW.”

And going further, pushing through the weariness, I hear “release”. Release the attachment to the stories.  Release the attachment to the purging. Perhaps try a new approach.  Stop creating further, perhaps even new emotional experiences with the stories.  In other words:  stop digging where I have already dug before. Claim it all dug up.  NOW.

I also hear to allow it all without judgment.

Can I do both?  Claim this issue is healed while allowing it to still be if it comes up?  Do I have control over whether “it” comes up again?

I overthink at times.  Anyone notice that?

Back to waiting…….for x y z to manifest…

I know – I remember – NOW truly is NOW outside of this realm – not some “future” moment of NOW.  So I feel I am at an impasse with this one issue of waiting.  It is simply not a part of Authentic Me that is told no.  That is told I must wait.

Why must we engage in this waiting game?

Obviously I have had to do just that and overall I have done ok ~ not great by any means, but ok.  How do I be at peace with the waiting?

Acceptance. Acceptance of how it is.  We are still in the realm of that construct known as time.  And until the energies of that matrix program crumble, it is as it is.

Makes for good practice now to consider Instant Manifestation, which is something perhaps I could be doing instead of griping about waiting.  BE outside of the matrix paradigm.  Now.

SEE and FEEL that there IS no program.

Practice being as though in this Now moment I create what I want instantly. It is one thing to just sit in the space of impatience.

It is a whole other thing to feel, to remember, the experience of Instant Manifestation.  It requires full attention.  Full awareness of the Now. Discipline.  Focus.

And trust in Self.

And to trust in Self means to Know Self and to Know Self begins with Loving Self.

And when I love Self I remember all of this stuff outside of me that I find annoying to painful to downright horrifying need not take one ounce of my Power.

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Victoria

***

Thank you for being a supporter of my writings and all that I choose to share in this little space.

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Update On The Live Meteor Signal ~ It Is The Sacred Earth OM Tone ~ C# 432hz

 

Thank you so much to Laura for pointing out that the tone on the live meteor capture is the C# ~ 432hz.  Here is what she had to share with me:

Saw today that the “whatever is coming in now” on the live meteors capture has a similar “tone”….  it’s an exact C#!  …  Check it out – Yep! it is 432hz !!!  (at 440hz tuning it would be between C and C#) This I found out IS INDEED the Sacred OM tone C# at 432hz! The Earth Tone!”
I am so grateful for her find ~ and humbled too.  As a lifelong piano player I didn’t stop to think about the tone.  I knew it was a craft of some sort and was focused on that.
And now I know.  It wasn’t just a craft.  There was/is more to the story.
“They” are sending us the tone our bodies and Souls need.  Perhaps prepping us for New Earth frequencies.  I have been there enough times in my astral state to know the “feel” is different than it is in this realm.  The best way I can describe it is Home ~ for every part of my Being.
Amazed and blown away!  Still needing to let this one seep into my heartspace.
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Why Do They Have Us Count Backwards For Hypnosis and Relaxation?

 

Something to make ya go “hmmm.”  Well, at least me.  Seems I NEVER stop questioning…

Recently, as I was relaxing my mind to go to sleep, I began the usual visual exercise of going down a flight of stairs, counting backwards.  It’s something we have all done, whether we have been in the presence of a hypnotist, psychologist, shaman or other healer or even an anesthesiologist prior to surgery.  As I engaged in this, I suddenly stopped and something within me asked:  “Why do you count backwards?  Why do you go down the stairs?”

Who taught healers and counselors and the like to use this method?

Hmm, I thought.  I had never given this a thought.  I then heard:  “Consider counting up.  Consider climbing up stairs.  You want to raise your frequency to truly go within.”

Is it possible that counting backwards lowers our frequency?  We are used to this method, used to the state of relaxation is creates, and yet how truly relaxed does this make us?  Are we being (unintentionally) fooled?  Limited? Is this another matrix program?

What came next surprised me.  I am paraphrasing it as it came quickly and was mostly feeling:

“You know when you watch these meditations and you often feel in your body that there are compromised messages at times?  You sense the person’s highest self struggle to speak as though there is some sort of intrusion?  You will experience a purer message if you count up and visualize yourself climbing upwards.  Try it.”

I have indeed watched numerous videos and have actually seen and strongly sensed a struggle.  I am left feeling “this person is being compromised”.

Why is it we have been trained (convinced?) to believe that in order to relax we must count backwards and visualize us going down steps?  When I am honest with myself, I will admit this has often bothered me.  I recall recently the first visit with my Shaman and she had me visualize going down stairs. As I began doing this, I suddenly wanted to stop the experience and try another method.  Instead, I just breathed deeply instead of following the rest of the visualization.

Try it.

I will.

Let me know if you do too.  And please share your experience.

 

 

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Today’s Energies and Experiences ~ December 2, 2017

 

Background, Christmas

Hola, greetings, hello and how are ya’s to all of you~

Let’s dive right in!

The one big experience that is not lessening is the absolute need for silence. I almost feel autistic these days.  Too many distractions and I scream inside.

The ability to multi-task is pretty much gone.  This was very prevalent at the store today, while I was in line to pay for the food, a couple I know walked up to the same check-out line.  Apparently I first appeared to look confused.  When people are out of context, it takes me a moment to remember who they are.  I never had that experience until about a year ago and today it is quite strong.  They are local organic farmers and normally they deliver my produce so seeing her without a bag of greens and other yum’s perplexed me for a moment.  As we spoke, I was being asked to submit my payment.

I tried to talk with her and swipe my card.

I.  Could.  Not.  Do.  It.

Speaking was more fun so I made that my focus.  But I swear I looked at that damn bank 3d piece of equipment and did not know what to do with it.

Obviously since we still are told we have to pay for our food, I had to excuse myself from the convo so I could finish my business.

3D stuff me just no wanna do no more.

I am ready for what I have seen and felt since I was a bright-eyed idealist at 26 years of age:  a community, a system of pure freedom that included NO MONEY.  Everything is free – which is really what freedom is.  FREE FREE FREE ~ all aspects of Being.  Living.  Doing.  And those who resonate with this have the right consciousness frequencies where we no longer think to power over another by charging them for what we have to give and wish to share.  At the time I had no one to talk with about what I was seeing and feeling.  Today, not only are there others but we are creating it together, regardless of our physical location.

I was very free-floating today.  Forgetful.  Oh wow am I forgetful.  I have been saying for 3 days I will water our Ficus Plant.  Still not watered so as my mate just asked “has the ficus been watered yet?”  Uh, no.  It isn’t that I don’t want to.  It is seriously due to the fact that if I don’t “do” something at the moment it is thought of, it leaves my mind.  Truly being all but forced to live in the NOW.  I am ready.  Just need others to realize that while they are in their NOW space, I am too.

For a time my body ached and I didn’t know whether I wanted to laugh or go take a nap.   Exhaustion hit me hard about an hour after I woke up.  Last night, after 2 hours of sleep, I woke up – wide awake.  What’s interesting is prior to going to bed, I was suddenly wide awake, chatting away.  I had no audience as my mate and child were already in sleep mode, so I lay there thinking “who am I going to talk to?”  I almost felt what I could describe as panic.  The need to DO – something.  An intense need.  I tuned in and heard “breathe deeply – you need to rest your body”.  I questioned that.  My body was not telling me I needed to rest.  But I listened and did just 2 deep breaths and upon doing that, the sleep energy came over me HUGELY.  And I was out.

Kinda like a baby.  Go go go wide awake CRASH.

We are much like babies these days, aren’t we?  Lots of growth.  Change. Adjusting.  Intense need for sleep and rest and quiet.

And moments to just stare at a pretty shiny object when all of that “stuff out there” gets to be too much.

We got this!

Much love,

Victoria

***

Thank you to all of your awesome support.  Your words of wisdom you share.  Your stories.  Your struggles.  Your music.  Artwork.  I love you all.

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Schumann Resonance Today ~ WTHEAVEN IS THIS??!!

 

Wow!  Check out this interesting read.  I have not seen anything like it since I began following this.  What does it mean?  What does it indicate?  I will say this:  today I have felt just downright WEIRD.  I began feeling it early afternoon.  And the feeling has intensified.  I am unbelievably clumsy (Higher Self saying SLOW DOWN AND BE GIRL) and very wonky.  A very strong desire to be in the NOW.  And how important this is ~ this “now” stuff ~ as our ability to manifest is in a quickening so being Mindful of our thoughts and keeping them in the NOW is almost a requirement I feel, at least for myself, that I am being drawn into.

And a new experience ~ a long term memory from childhood that normally I should remember ~ that I KNOW I once did ~ is gone.  It’s as though parts of me today feel they are fading away.  Having a discussion with my mate at dinner, we spoke of this and both feel “things” are speeding up and are merging back together ~ all of who we are/are’s…..and this will continue until it all STOPS.  Time will stop.  That construct/program will just cease to exist.  I have seen, felt and heard this sensation in my body and mind all year.  Ok, sharing now as I don’t know what else to say and I swear my mind just went blank and I kinda don’t know what else to say.  lol  Anyway ~ check it out!!

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