I awoke this morning with the song “Too Much Heaven” (Bee Gees) going through my mind. I thought of my experience the night before and interpreted the song to mean I was shifting to Heaven. “No,” I thought. I have no plan to see this body die nor to leave it. I’m taking it with me.”
Feeling a bit annoyed, I got out of bed, headed to the kitchen and helped get breakfast going. Along the way, my child brought me a one of her little vases that contained some daisies she had picked and put into water. Mold was growing on one of the flowers. I told her it was time to dump the water. I was going to do that in the garbage under the sink but something said “dump it outside”.
So I dump the water outside and as I come back in, something told me to look at the television. We had on the music channel. The song “Between Heaven and Earth” was playing. I then heard “that is where you are going”. At least the feeling translated itself into those words.
The new earth. The new frequency. Everything – everything – is frequency. That is what we are doing. Shifting to a higher frequency.
A frequency that is between the pure spirit realm of heaven and earth (third dimensional frequency).
(i suddenly feel called to share this. there will come a time when i will no longer be running/playing on this site. i don’t know “when”. but i want to say when that happens, i hope to see some of you in real time – live in person in the new realm. if you go to your own experience in the new realm that is not where i and my family are headed, i thank you for being a part of my life and wish you all of the beauty and freedom and love you – all of us – are so deserving and worthy of.)
I have to say I cannot recall having such a strange day. Certainly 24 hours.
At this moment I am not sure where I am. Not fully present as I sit here.
It began last night. Before going to bed, I was doing some meditating when I had a very similar experience as to the one I had last fall where I was sitting at the kitchen table and suddenly I felt buzzing going up my back out my head and I felt myself being lifted up. I braced myself on the table and heard “this is how it will happen” then the experience was over.
Last night I felt something literally pulling on me – off to the left and I felt I could go. Or that I was being prepared. Kinda like the astronauts undergo simulations prior to the actual flight. There was a bit of anxiety. I was not expecting this to happen!
Before I had the experience, prior to going to bed, I suddenly began itching all over my chest. It was intense. I walked into the kitchen to tell my mate. We both start talking at the same time – both of us were saying the SAME THING. lol He too suddenly began to itch on his chest.
Today every plan to interact w/the outside world fell apart. Had some sort of a block.
I am ok with that.
I want to be left alone. It is an intense desire. INTENSE.
About 20 minutes ago a friend of our daughter’s came over with her mom for a scheduled play date. Just as the doorbell rang (which surprised me as it is broken)…my phone dinged and I saw a text from my mom that did not make sense. I go answer the door – feeling VERY ungrounded suddenly. I did not feel fully present. The mom tells me her daughter’s friend just got diagnosed with pink eye and perhaps we should cancel the play date. I immediately agreed.
Still feeling as though I was literally in two worlds, with another calling me backwards, for lack of a better word, I went to check my phone for that text from my mom.
It was no longer there. I could not find it on my phone.
I text my mom and ask her “did you text me?”
Her response: No I did not.
WTH?!
I began to feel even wonkier.
So we went on to have a brief text convo ~ and she asked the question I had seen earlier on that strange text, only it was worded differently.
WTH?!
Where am I??
I checked the Schumann. Here is the latest read.
I am now sitting, quietly, heat on my body. Breathing deeply.
No appetite today compared to recent days where I have been ravenous.
Seeing others show no signs of this process, it was a comfort to me, in some small way, to read last night that not everyone had this experience encoded into their DNA.
Is that possible? Don’t we all deserve to undergo this experience?
Yes of course.
But now? At this time?
And as I always do I look around me and I know most people would laugh at the concept of ascension. DNA changes. All of it. I cannot “see” it in their journey at this “time”. From conversations I have had, I don’t “see” it in their eyes or “feel” it coming from them. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Or I could be wrong.
But the feeling within says otherwise.
I trust this ongoing feel that I have ~ and I would say most of humanity is not going to experience this ~ at least the way we are.
Not right now.
Just like the astronauts.
Not everyone gets prepped to go to the moon.
Because not all go. (at the same time perhaps)
I feel this out ~ and the idea that all go ~ who can say that with any truth?
I don’t know what anyone else came here to experience.
None of us can say that about another.
It is just a feeling.
Not all are undergoing this experience.
For now, I am, well, I don’t know ~ going to go within and integrate and just BE and FEEL.
For I am not able to do much else.
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Victoria
***
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As I stand in the kitchen waiting for my tea water to boil, I let my mind wander back to my childhood. I was the kid who fed stray animals. I was also that kid who brought home stay kids.
I can recall a cat showing up at our house once. My bedroom was in the basement that had a patio door. My mother specifically told me not to feed the cat.
But I did anyway.
Each night I would put out a bowl of water and a pile of dog food. (We had no cat food so I figured dog food would suffice. I broke it up into small pieces. I would have put out tuna fish but I knew my mom would notice that.)
Eventually my mom found out I was feeding the cat and became quite upset with me. She packed up the cat, put it in a cardboard box, and with me in the passenger seat, set out to the country to let it go in a field. I was horrified and resisted her decision. She was equally as resistant telling me the cat would find a home at a farm somewhere.
How do you know? I asked. We can’t just let it go and assume that. We have to find a farm and talk to the people and ask.
She insisted she just knew ~ that’s what cats are drawn to do. She again asked why I fed the cat.
I remember being stumped at the question. Because it’s the right thing to do, I thought. Instead I chose to ignore her. My parents, heck my entire family never did understand much less appreciate my idealism. TAS (teenage angst syndrome). [wp-svg-icons icon=”cool” wrap=”i”]
Today I would say: That’s what love does.
I received the same sort of grilling when I brought home a friend of mine from high school who had run away from home. I felt it was the right thing to do and was completely willing to share my bedroom. Thankfully for my friend though her parents wanted her back and things got worked out. My dad asked why I brought her home.
It was the right thing to do was all I could think of.
I gave the same response when I brought home yet another friend a few years later who had been kicked out of her house. My parents were very generous this time, letting my friend (who had a job) stay at our house in the basement until she found another place to live. I appreciated that.
I continued to draw the unwanted animals into my life. After I left college, I began drawing children into my life. The neglected children found their way to me. I had more than one child over the years tell me they wish I were their mama. Each time if I had another adult ask me why I spent so much time with these kids my answer was simple ~ it was the right thing to do.
I couldn’t imagine NOT making such a choice.
When I met my current mate some 20 years ago, we began drawing unwanted or lost animals into our life. It became a running joke when it would happen. Again?? we would ask while laughing. Every year one of these dogs or cats would just show up at our house. Reggie the dog. Charlie the cat (actually there were 2 Charlie’s). Our favorite was a kitty named Luna. Abandoned by a college student. Oh, she was the sweetest cat. A total snuggle bunny. Gentle. Perfect size. We had a dog at the time and Luna made it clear to our dog, in a very gentle way, that she was here to stay for now and our dog would simply have to accept that fact. We even have a picture of Luna making her way into our backyard for the first time, scaled atop a fence, one little paw reached out to gently tap our dog on the nose.
Our dog, the chaser of cats, submitted easily, much to our surprise and relief. The two became good friends.
Well, at least they tolerated one another and grew accustomed to sharing meal time together.
It turns out both of us were allergic to Luna ~ my mate in particular ~ so having her inside at night roaming the house was not possible. We had a place for her outside to sleep but she was an indoor baby and she would meow at night wanting to be let in. This was doable during the late summer/early fall days. However, the rains were coming. I had been trying desperately to find her a home to no avail. Surrendering her to the local animal shelter was not an option ~ it was a shelter that euthanized at times and we had already had a horrible experience doing that a few years prior with the place (being told they would contact us if no one wanted the stray cat we brought in ~ and they didn’t do that. We found out after the fact they had euthanized the cat. We were devastated and furious at the same time.)
Back to Luna.
I remember the first night it rained. She made it clear how upset she was. The guilt I felt ripped me up ~ my mate too. I remember checking on her, seeing her atop of our fence (her favorite spot) meowing repeatedly, giving us this look that made us feel horrible. “We have to do something,” my mate said.
“I know,” I said sadly.
I prayed with all I had to the Universe that night, pleading that her forever home would show up for if not we would have to bring her in and keep her kenneled in the living room. It was simply getting too cold.
The next morning I received a call about one of my numerous ads I had placed. An older couple wanted to come see her. I eagerly agreed to let them visit.
Well, it was love at first sight, especially for the man and Luna. She jumped into his lap, looked at me and told me this was the family she had been waiting for. We were just the catalyst to bring them together. It was a magical experience.
It was a very tearful good-bye. Lots of “make sure you do this. She LOVES that.” Pictures were sent over the next few years. Luna had what she wanted ~ two adults who loved her to pieces (and weren’t allergic), lots of toys, kitty climber’s and daily lap cuddles.
I remember at the time a neighbor asked why we were taking care of (yet another) cat. There are so many in our community that are feral ~ often due to neglect.
Relationships never end. The people just change their perception.
Relationships are on my mind and in my heart today. I have all of these tools garnered over the years from college courses, books and counselors on how to let go, heal, etc. and yet do we ever really heal? And most importantly, do we ever fully let go? I don’t get it. I am not that kind of person capable of doing so apparently. How do you remove from your body, from your heart and mind someone with whom you have had a connection? The pain never fully goes away. Like death, you just get used to it and find a place in your body in such a way so that it doesn’t take up too much space. It isn’t like I intentionally make the choice to cling on. It just happens. I’ve done countless exercises in cutting those psychic cords ~ and yet energy cannot be destroyed. It cannot be forgotten. It cannot be fully removed. Just at its best, transformed. Understood. Accepted for what it is ~ eternal.
Relationships ~ they don’t end. They just transform into something new based on the person’s perception. In that simplicity I can find my peace. The song below always comes to mind when I feel the twinges of pain from those no longer in my day to day life. I have been the one hurt and the one who has done the hurting. In all of that complex stuff, I wish all peace. And in the song, some comfort…
(To PRN~ we know what really happened to you… Always keeping your music alive…)
“We are all longing to go home to some place we
have never been—a place half-remembered and
half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from
time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are
people to whom we can speak with passion with-
out having the words catch in our throats. Some-
where a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes
will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with
us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to
do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold
us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of
friends. Someplace where we can be free.”
Well, I guess it’s possible to feel your body expanding then get on the scale and not notice any changes. I did that earlier today after putting on a pair of jeans that normally fit just fine. Today they did not. It wasn’t just a “too much bulge” issue really – my entire body felt uncomfortable in them. In particular my thighs. Am I becoming the She Hulk? I have been doing weights with bands, yoga, planks ~ and I look at my body and I see with interesting eyes that I am expanding. But this feels beyond physical stuff here.
The scale, as I said, showed the same weight. Impossible, I thought, calling my mate to get him on. He as well is changing physically and in other ways. I figured at least he had gained weight.
Nope. Not one pound.
Today I headed out for some sweet treats for love day. I have continued to be unusually tired/wonky so before heading out, I grounded myself. I’m doing this a little differently now. I am calling upon my highest greater selves, filling myself up with the highest energies, canceling out all other timelines where I have believed myself to be weak, vulnerable, fearful, etc. by visually seeing them merge into total Wholeness of Super Power. lol That just made me laugh out loud.
It was effective and helped give me the charge I needed to head out into the world outside of my little sanctuary. I was fine at first ~ then heading home, a wave of anxiety then panic came over me. I pulled myself out of this space by first saying this is not Me ~ that is an old version of me ~ and I continued to imagine it disappear altogether in the realm/space in which it resides. I did this in a relaxed state, over and over, silently, until I felt the experience leave. I charged myself back up, smiled then went on.
All of that being said, I MUCH prefer quiet, even-energy environments ~ or energy that resonates with Me. It is still a challenge for me to be in what I can only describe as “manic vibing” environments. I will continue to remove and clear all of those timeline/experiences in which I believe I am powerless to rise and be in my Fullness.
And I continue to create my new experience:
Freedom.
Peaceful, joyful interactions with my tribe of friends.
Small community living.
Flying cars and teleportation and total healing.
My big beautiful house.
All surrounded by big pine trees, the ocean and a lake or two.
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Victoria
***
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I heard the term “goin’ quantum” today. Much better than saying how dizzy/woozy I feel. Forgetful. Unbalanced.
Nope. We’re goin’ quantum. BRING it, baby!
As one of you messaged me today asking wtfrig was up with the energies, I had to later respond I was feeling the same.
W O W.
Twice while out and about I had to stop what I was doing, take a breath, put my hands on something to brace myself lest I wish to fall on my face. At one point, the second time this happened, I thought “I may faint here.” A brief moment of panic set in before I thought “If I do I do. Be nice to have a little nap.”
So…I went quantum a few times. I tried desperately to multi-task around the house. Not happening. For I am going quantum. Suddenly I have expanded.
I Be + I expand = I go Quantum.
A new scientific theory I hereby postulate and present for pondering.
I really did have to take several moments at times to collect myself and ask: Where am I again? What am I doing? What did you just say?
(when in truth in these moments i don’t want to talk.. with a n y b o d y)
And it feels this is the experience I have not just when a new energy finds its way into my body, or wait…. is it a new energy? Is it just remnants of All I Am finding space within my physical vessel?
Hmmm. Ok….Where was I?
Oh yeah. This quantum experience isn’t just about merging energies. It happens when I expand my conscious awareness of the All. I’ve been having those at night prior to falling asleep. Once I tune in, I buzz and tingle and vibe all over. My Soul Energy says YES YES YES let’s play let’s integrate let’s expand let’s remember. My energies swirl all over, almost as if to say I AM FREE.
That and “do this more!”
Note to self: “do this more”.
This would all be so much simpler if I could just sent an energetic imprint telepathically. As Jodie Foster’s character says in “Contact” ~ where, after passing through a wormhole and is allowed to see what I recall is a triple sun star system, the beauty overwhelming her and she is attempting to share the experience and all she can say is “no words…there are no words.”
OK, I know I recently said I would not be having any more psychic/intuitive readings. I feel perhaps Source/Higher Selves said “let’s bring her one that will be Truth”. This came about by a recent connection and she reached out to me and said she felt guided to give me a reading, free of charge, if I was open. So I felt it out and thought (with a skeptical eye) let’s do it.
I communicated with Higher Self (who I am feeling more lately is really Me – just in a more solid, expansive version) and said “you have my permission to speak with her.” I also informed the young woman that she was not to speak to any Being other than my Higher Self as I had fired my guides this past year and was only relying on All Of Me in which to tune in and receive All.
She sent the results to me and they were insightful and felt, overall, pure. She’s good and really captured my authentic way of Being.
She saw me coming from a sun planet outside of this Universe. I am keeping the name and other details private. She stated that I am very commanding with very very strong energy (yes, two “very’s” lol). My struggle is how to utilize this energy. Do I let it come from my solar plexus/heart? Is it in haste and/or anger?
She shared how I have a very difficult time in close relationships, partnerships and friends alike. Being human is a struggle (duh). I have a strong disdain for drama and overly-sensitive beings (even though I fall into those traps myself). I feel very at peace and at home with my tribe and have a hard time with outsiders.
More than once it was mentioned how powerful my energy is ~ the best way for me to use it, in this physical life cycle, is through communications and the arts. Writing. Speaking. Sharing all of the wisdom I have learned from the origins of my home realm. She gave me some tips on remembering that.
Confidence and trust in myself is key to sharing. Knowing and Being who I am.
This sharing of who i am has been a struggle for me. I know I have a very strong energy and oooh it has been painful and draining for me to keep it low around others lest I offend them or scare them away. Today on my walk, I was thinking about all of this, drawing up my energy from my center, moving it around and I swear ~ I scared a cat. I looked at it and greeted it – said I was sorry if I frightened her. But it still had this look of fear in its eyes and bolted away from me.
I have had that happen with humans too. Not so dramatically but I have had others say “you scare me”. Of course they were very asleep to their own Being. That was more in my younger years when I was more comfortable with my, um, Prowess.
I see where learning how to blend in has served me at times. Although that has been an extreme I have gone to, it has given me the tools to reign in my energy. Control it. Problem is I became more focused on that energy restriction being in the best interest others but in truth, it was also about the best interest for me in that I feared the responses of others. It has been a challenge to know how to handle adversity in my face. To be challenged, questioned ~ especially from one who is as commanding as I am.
A life long challenge.
All out of fear of embracing who I am – strengths and vulnerabilities.
I know that already.
But validation is always good. A good tool to use as a reminder ~ that is no longer who I am for it does not serve me.
Tools are good as are reminders.
Especially during this period of transformation and transition. I know we all will be called upon as our Full Selves come “online”. I have thought perhaps the gifts I have now will disappear as we transition. I now see – not so. They will grow in power. Morph into new creations.
For each of us.
As she said “things are about to get exciting”. (i feel that implies for us all)
(I had a follow-up conversation with her. She thanked me, hoped it was helpful and again mentioned again how very strong my energy is. It is time to tap deeper into that reservoir and share.)
