What a f’ing last few days it’s been in this matrix. Sleep – whuz dat? Anxiety 😩….crying 😧😢…. Tissue. Chocolate. CBD. Bach remedies. Breathing exercises. And movement.
Every one of us in the house had an EBS go off on our phones – radio too. It was strong – that pulse was intense too – wowser! It was one of those IPAW tests – like the one they did last 10.4. Why today? Why now? I checked and I did see this – first of weekly tests from 2 weeks ago – eastern US. Also hearing from others locally who received the same. Anyone else?
I see – many – not waking up – not wanting to. Today was rough – had a session and was talking about the pay to live reality – how confining it is – limiting – even downright blocking us at times. My experience to it? All on me and has nothing to do with anything external. The stress I feel – the frustration – all due to my inner workings and perception.
Healer’s opine.
Oh dear, I thought. This is not going to go well. I used to believe that. Now I know different.
I was ok in general with how the convo was flowing until I was presented this: “You expect people to pay you for your work. How is that any different than a utility company expecting you to pay for a service and you arguing it?” For some background, I had already told her our utility outlet charges us not just for water/sewer but also taxes for services I don’t use. Taxes that were not given the right to citizen vote. Instead, they call them fees. Anyway – I told her at one point I said I would pay for water and sewer and all affiliated fees – but I would be removing the rest of their “fees” from my bill. I was told “if you do that, and we will shut off your water”. Even though I technically PAID for that water, I asked. Yes, I was told.
So I said “First, I ask for donations for the work I do. Even if I did require fee for work/service, I wouldn’t turn off water or electricity or kick my readers out of their home for refusal to pay. How on earth is that even the same thing?”
It isn’t.
That’s pretty much how the session went after that. Life has always been expensive, I was told. Oh yeah? In the 80’s I worked a minimum wage job at 30 hours a week and that was enough to afford my own apartment. Not the same today. Not. even. close.
My inner experience – my frustration and struggles come down to what I am telling myself. Doesn’t matter what I am experiencing. Doesn’t matter who is around me saying or doing whatever. Her opine. Nothing more than that. Outside doesn’t impact within – not unless we allow it to. Doesn’t matter if my bills keep going up or if I need to change my life but am unable to do so simply because of the cost of housing and food. Nope.
Blame the victim, anyone? Gaslighting? I didn’t think this person fell into that category. I just can’t imagine saying those words to someone. I appreciate empowering – but to say “i cannot validate your belief that the outside world is creating internal stress for you”.
Life here is not so easily categorized. It’s all connected. WE are connected to it. I am more than a biological brain for fook sake. We all are. But I guess that’s what sheep tell themselves so they can go to their secure little worlds at the end of the day – tune out – and not have to feeeeeeeeeeeeel. I swear today I was in the presence of a computer program. In fact – as things began to get interesting and I brought in the pay to live piece – I kid you not – my computer glitched and she suddenly sounded robotic. She experienced it to (as being unable to hear me).
So………..this awakening is not going to impact everyone. Those like her would have their brains implode if they were to see it all. Take years and years of deprogramming. They’re going to need a special place. And I have no desire to hold their hands. I used to really think that – align with it – but today? Once liberation hits, I’m outta here – off and doing with my own projects and doing’s that are at this point ONLY held up due TO money.
But that’s just me. lol Nothing out there that can touch me. I’m a emotional-less AI robot. None of that humaning for me. 😂
In fact – at this moment – let’s try this out shall we? I hold in my hands my current utility bill – sealed in an envelope. Was told it was going to go up again for next month. Let’s see if that’s true and let’s see if there is any inner experience other than total neutrality. I’m in a fairly calm space – feeling a bit humorous you could say (I have a small smile on my face as I type this).
Hey – it changed – it dropped $20. I was not expecting that. I haven’t looked to see the reasons why yet – but did that do anything for me within? YES. IT. DID. Of course it did. I’m a HUMAN. Made me feel a teeny tiny bit of “oh ok – that’s a bit of good news”. Nothing intense or WOW AMAZING A MIRACLE – but something I felt.
And why?
Because. I. Am. A. Human.
And thank goodness for it. Without we humans there would be no awakening. Without we awakened humans we wouldn’t be fighting so hard to change this world so above conversations are no longer an occurrence nor are such services necessary. And utility and other pay to live expenses become null and void because, as I also shared (to no avail), we now have REAL freedom – not this fake definition pushed on us.
THIS in a nutshell:
Something’s missing. More than ever in our history, as I said to her, it’s more acceptable to talk about our issues. We have a plethora of counselors, etc. to choose from in which to do so. And yet why is it there are more people experiencing depression and anxiety? Don’t you think part of that if not most of it is due to what has been happening out in the world?
OMG I am a genius – give me one of them degrees – I’ll take over now please!
UGH……
Here’s what I’m seeing. Please share, donate (unless you want me to turn off your water – lol – sorry – feeling salty) subscribe and let me know how you’re doing. You don’t have to go through this time alone. I’m here. Many of us are.
Love,
V.
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https://www.zerohedge.com/political/reid-hoffman-pulls-out-nikki-haley-after-new-hampshire-pounding
hmmm………no more free for all for the banks?
so – i don’t follow this intel tonight but this came up on my feed so i decided to share:
also of interest: our local wells fargo bank is suddenly closed – they aren’t saying for how long – claiming our recent snow/ice storm – which was an inconvenience but certainly not a disaster. all other businesses that i know of nearby and next door are open.
Massachusetts Ballot Commission Rejects Effort to Bar Trump From 2024 Ballot
gotta have some humor………
‘F*** OFF’: UK Zoo Deals With ‘The Curse of the Cursing Parrots’
MrMBB333:
They were caught by TOTAL surprise as the giant wave BLEW the doors!
Laura’s View and Tarot, Too…..i like her – but this doesn’t go deep enough. pretty sure what 17 referred to was where we are and who has been here with us all along – “invisible” to our hijacked eyes…..
How/Why Would 99% End Up in Hospital?
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