editor victoria’s comment ~ oh YES how i relate and desire this. i really appreciate his perspective of “appointments” – for quite some time now i have had a growing disdain for ANY type of appointment/commitment “out there”. i just want to flow – and engage when i align – when the energies for all align. often throughout the day now i will stop and ask for silence – just so i can BE. FEEL within and find the ME instead of just being focused on the “me” that runs the house and tends to the child and gets the meals and bends down to pick up that toy or reminds the child to pick that up or stay out of that or put on a hat before going outside…..the holiday stuff….yes indeed…..we have NO plans for the holidaze…..the thursday holiday we plan on going to the store and picking up a nice meal – no crazy crowds – maybe a movie to watch…i am baking a pie…..the other holiday with all the red – we began calling that Light Holiday 2 years ago – and we are talking of doing it on a new day….for the day we each give one another a small gift that the other really wants….lights decorate the rooms….other than that i do require solitude more and more now – silence – as well as the longing for a new experience with new types of connecting and celebrating – that just flow without the mad frenzy.
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There’s times when I feel the desire just to be in solitude. And to be at one with the Universe – Cosmos – Higher Self… Whatever. Now is one of those times.
I went to Costco earlier and it was like going to a zoo with people running around and this and that and parking spaces, usually available, weren’t. I did the shopping deal, and got out quickly. I am NOT into these so-called “holiday times”. Ain’t my deal anymore. Really hasn’t been for a few years. How people “survive” such times, running around and frantic-sizing about “holiday times”, is far beyond me.
The “solitude” deal for myself right now is more important than I’ve felt for some time. Yes I enjoy the occasional “going out where people are” times, but that is not the object of my life. It’s far more than being “over it”, or “past that”, or any of those phrases. It’s about remaining “in touch” with the deepest levels of my BEingness. And that’s the most important deal to me… at this moment in time.
If others don’t “understand” or “get it”… ain’t my problem. If others don’t know how to “deal with it”, well, ain’t my situation to deal with that… or any of their situation(s), either.
Why I write these things right now?… Well, just seems like the words want to come out. So here they are.
I’m going to lie horizontal for awhile now, and see where that leads. I’ve got these “appointment” things to do tomorrow, and that’s another area I’m not “comfortable with”… I prefer the “flowing free with ZERO time constraints” kind of deal.
And that’s why I’m in solitude much of my time here, on this planet.
Aloha all, Kp
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