exhausted yes – from picking up pickle juice – which i realized had slowly leaked out of the new jar the past 24 hours. and it went. everywhere. at least it’s vinegar so in and of itself, in its own way, that juice cleaned everything in its path. still had to clean it up though – on my hands and knees – as i grumbled for i had just returned from the bathroom to fetch a load of laundry from the dryer and noticed my towel has a huge tear in it. that along w/my comforter that just experienced another rip in it today as i made the bed and i’m like…..
i just want to be taken care of for awhile. someone to order dinner for me or bring me dinner. someone to give me some free massages because omG is my body telling me there’s a lot of “stuff” inside my muscles.
just for a little while – a few days – weekend retreat – where i am the one being doted on.
you know?
here’s what i’m seeing. shutdown is in the vibe………
100’s every morning lines up at the Home Depot’s, in Dr. ‘s offices overloaded with initial paperwork not seeing sick patients, crime rate has skyrocketed(stealing and break ins) and honestly just a entitled mentality everywhere. I’m president of the PTA and schools are…
What a f’ing last few days it’s been in this matrix. Sleep – whuz dat? Anxiety 😩….crying 😧😢…. Tissue. Chocolate. CBD. Bach remedies. Breathing exercises. And movement.
Every one of us in the house had an EBS go off on our phones – radio too. It was strong – that pulse was intense too – wowser! It was one of those IPAW tests – like the one they did last 10.4. Why today? Why now? I checked and I did see this – first of weekly tests from 2 weeks ago – eastern US. Also hearing from others locally who received the same. Anyone else?
I see – many – not waking up – not wanting to. Today was rough – had a session and was talking about the pay to live reality – how confining it is – limiting – even downright blocking us at times. My experience to it? All on me and has nothing to do with anything external. The stress I feel – the frustration – all due to my inner workings and perception.
Healer’s opine.
Oh dear, I thought. This is not going to go well. I used to believe that. Now I know different.
I was ok in general with how the convo was flowing until I was presented this: “You expect people to pay you for your work. How is that any different than a utility company expecting you to pay for a service and you arguing it?” For some background, I had already told her our utility outlet charges us not just for water/sewer but also taxes for services I don’t use. Taxes that were not given the right to citizen vote. Instead, they call them fees. Anyway – I told her at one point I said I would pay for water and sewer and all affiliated fees – but I would be removing the rest of their “fees” from my bill. I was told “if you do that, and we will shut off your water”. Even though I technically PAID for that water, I asked. Yes, I was told.
So I said “First, I ask for donations for the work I do. Even if I did require fee for work/service, I wouldn’t turn off water or electricity or kick my readers out of their home for refusal to pay. How on earth is that even the same thing?”
It isn’t.
That’s pretty much how the session went after that. Life has always been expensive, I was told. Oh yeah? In the 80’s I worked a minimum wage job at 30 hours a week and that was enough to afford my own apartment. Not the same today. Not. even. close.
My inner experience – my frustration and struggles come down to what I am telling myself. Doesn’t matter what I am experiencing. Doesn’t matter who is around me saying or doing whatever. Her opine. Nothing more than that. Outside doesn’t impact within – not unless we allow it to. Doesn’t matter if my bills keep going up or if I need to change my life but am unable to do so simply because of the cost of housing and food. Nope.
Blame the victim, anyone? Gaslighting? I didn’t think this person fell into that category. I just can’t imagine saying those words to someone. I appreciate empowering – but to say “i cannot validate your belief that the outside world is creating internal stress for you”.
Life here is not so easily categorized. It’s all connected. WE are connected to it. I am more than a biological brain for fook sake. We all are. But I guess that’s what sheep tell themselves so they can go to their secure little worlds at the end of the day – tune out – and not have to feeeeeeeeeeeeel. I swear today I was in the presence of a computer program. In fact – as things began to get interesting and I brought in the pay to live piece – I kid you not – my computer glitched and she suddenly sounded robotic. She experienced it to (as being unable to hear me).
So………..this awakening is not going to impact everyone. Those like her would have their brains implode if they were to see it all. Take years and years of deprogramming. They’re going to need a special place. And I have no desire to hold their hands. I used to really think that – align with it – but today? Once liberation hits, I’m outta here – off and doing with my own projects and doing’s that are at this point ONLY held up due TO money.
But that’s just me. lol Nothing out there that can touch me. I’m a emotional-less AI robot. None of that humaning for me. 😂
In fact – at this moment – let’s try this out shall we? I hold in my hands my current utility bill – sealed in an envelope. Was told it was going to go up again for next month. Let’s see if that’s true and let’s see if there is any inner experience other than total neutrality. I’m in a fairly calm space – feeling a bit humorous you could say (I have a small smile on my face as I type this).
Hey – it changed – it dropped $20. I was not expecting that. I haven’t looked to see the reasons why yet – but did that do anything for me within? YES. IT. DID. Of course it did. I’m a HUMAN. Made me feel a teeny tiny bit of “oh ok – that’s a bit of good news”. Nothing intense or WOW AMAZING A MIRACLE – but something I felt.
And why?
Because. I. Am. A. Human.
And thank goodness for it. Without we humans there would be no awakening. Without we awakened humans we wouldn’t be fighting so hard to change this world so above conversations are no longer an occurrence nor are such services necessary. And utility and other pay to live expenses become null and void because, as I also shared (to no avail), we now have REAL freedom – not this fake definition pushed on us.
THIS in a nutshell:
Something’s missing. More than ever in our history, as I said to her, it’s more acceptable to talk about our issues. We have a plethora of counselors, etc. to choose from in which to do so. And yet why is it there are more people experiencing depression and anxiety? Don’t you think part of that if not most of it is due to what has been happening out in the world?
OMG I am a genius – give me one of them degrees – I’ll take over now please!
UGH……
Here’s what I’m seeing. Please share, donate (unless you want me to turn off your water – lol – sorry – feeling salty) subscribe and let me know how you’re doing. You don’t have to go through this time alone. I’m here. Many of us are.
so – i don’t follow this intel tonight but this came up on my feed so i decided to share:
also of interest: our local wells fargo bank is suddenly closed – they aren’t saying for how long – claiming our recent snow/ice storm – which was an inconvenience but certainly not a disaster. all other businesses that i know of nearby and next door are open.
Laura’s View and Tarot, Too…..i like her – but this doesn’t go deep enough. pretty sure what 17 referred to was where we are and who has been here with us all along – “invisible” to our hijacked eyes…..
Texas' razor wire is an effective deterrent to the illegal crossings Biden encourages.
I will continue to defend Texas' constitutional authority to secure the border and prevent the Biden Admin from destroying our property.https://t.co/pV7Cuq57d1
:::detaching from the matrix narc program in progress:::
Heightened anxiety atm. I have fidget spinners, tacky poster putty and pop-its by me. Cookies and chocolate on stand-by.
I feel so solid now in this knowing and feeling that this entire sim/ai/matrix experience is THE narc program – the main Operating program – attached to each of us – some more than others dependent upon things like gender, levels of awakening, trauma, ability to self-reflect and heal, etc. It’s obviously behind the pay to live system – in government, education, religion, family, marriage – every institution “they” push on us to “sign up and join in and be like everyone else so you too can be happy and free”.
I am seeing it B I G time on social media today – certainly in recent days. A lot of finger pointing and poking including seeing an account I have been on the fence about throwing judgment towards those who are questioning the plan and showing impatience saying in a rather derogatory manner that the military rescuing the children is not interested in your impatience – then later laughing emoji’s saying hey i am not into drama (or something similar). Yeah? Then perhaps watch word choice – especially when there was no concern shown for those who are struggling (much less questioning gawd forbid that happens w/some of these folks) nor offer of help.
You know – “hey I’m sorry you’re struggling because of all of this – is there anything I can do for you?”
NARC program still running having some fun with its pokes – swooping in – attaching to someone and firing off words and energies of anger and frustration in others.
This isn’t about ego. It’s about the background running program of this matrix: N A R C.
Self-seeking. Self-serving. Inability to empathize. Seeks to poke, incite violence, chaos and harm then sit back and watch in enjoyment. It is truly – literally – a program. Nothing organically human about it. (but we have the ability to see it – own it – and detach from it and get back to the Heart)
I’m just sharing what I feel and observe here. Obviously I don’t see it all here. I can sense what I feeeeeeeeeeeel is truth but can’t offer much of anything – if anything solid – that this or that is happening.
Which is very frustrating when one is awake – and extra frustrating when one is awake, living in poverty, struggling to eat, struggling with health conditions, and/or alone/isolated and as such is literally waiting on the world to change and shift – tech released, abundance released – ALL that was taken returned in order. to. have. that. experience. the. heart. and. Soul. seek. I really experienced this during the recent winter storm when we lost power for awhile. I KNOW tech exists that would free us from the concern of going without power/electricity. I KNOW about weather manipulation/control. I KNOW there is so. much. more. and. better. KNOW. K N O W. And when that frustration kicks in because one is having to deal with the total unadulterated b.sheot of this petri dish…………
Anyway…………….
Here are some finds – some bizarre. 🙄😜😂 Please Share, Donate, Comment, Subscribe and follow me on the other channels listed below the finds.
"Calabrese held that the sheriff, two deputies, and the two county commissioners named in the lawsuit, one of whom has since left the board, are personally liable for damages."https://t.co/8WUgiuMJlC
US w/the polar vortex last week and now this in Europe……….
On Sunday evening, Storm Isha wreaks havoc, leading to significant disruptions and leaving thousands of homes without electricity in Ireland…the British Isles, and Scandinavia Might be affected… pic.twitter.com/2vaDkAPMew
“I’M YOUR FATHER!” @okeefemedia EXPOSES secret ‘Alitas’ facility at 1150 W. Drexel in Tucson as well as ‘Alitas Angels’ located at 112 Park street inside old Bank Building in Nogales
NOGALES — We just followed the trail of the migrant vans right to the source, visiting the… pic.twitter.com/9saIUWyHYh
Has anyone else noticed an absence of satellites crossing the night sky? I have not seen ONE satellite recently. Used to see at least a dozen a night. pic.twitter.com/slsi2qYMNb
This – above – is very much in the air atm. It is time for women to heal – and to be supported in this way. (and this is not to create division – i know we’ve all been harmed here – male and female – but i am female and i am seeing this take place in many of my female friends at this time) There has been so much false ugly pressure to look a certain way. We are expected to take care of the house and the children and make a living. We are expected to cater and tend to everyone’s needs. We can’t be too thin or too large. Our boobs have to look a certain way. We are hassled for wearing makeup or not wearing makeup. Men attack women. Women attack women.
Can we just please stop? And LOVE each other? The way we were created to?
Can we END the aggression?
Even though I feel by and large some of these women were blinded by evil agendas, the whole pink hat movement – these women had some valid points. Instead – it was mostly conservative men and even some select conservative women who threw them all under the bus as lunatics instead of LISTENING – opening up their minds and thinking they MAY just have something to say.
BOTH sides have always had something of value to say.
Anyway – I am getting off track here. I just want a world – I f’ing COMMAND a world (and expect anyone who enters my life to support) where my girl feels VALUED AS SHE IS. I want a world where the focus is not on her BODY – E V E R – but on her MIND. Her HEART. Her SOUL. Her CHARACTER. Her THOUGHTS and WISDOM. I want a world where she can wear WHATEVER THE FOOK SHE WANTS without some asshat – male or female – making comments – as though her body/looks are somehow their personal business.
FUCH ALL OF THAT. (and good thing she has this woman as her mama to call it all out and tell her every. single. day. how beautiful and precious and valued and worthy she is because i didn’t have that – so i am breaking that cycle)
Moving on………
It is so very confusing up there on that world stage now. Or shall I say there is a lot of conflicting information. Those who once supported things like the plan, 17, the event are now saying it’s all evil. And me? I don’t know. I trust myself – but I also know outside nudges can be influenced and controlled leaving us feeling perplexed and very frustrated at times. I get and always have understood the whole “disinfo is necessary” (just heard a really strange beep/blip as I typed this btw – spouse and I looked at each other and said “what was that?”)………anyway I get all that – so to me until things are fully flushed out – it’s all pretty much disinfo – what matters for me is what I feel and want and need – and those I care about/for.
I was reflecting on something that many of us are “in” right now – in our own space – survival – self-preservation. I was wondering about that though – what if that is just energy coming from the matrix to poke us – exhaust us and keep. us. divided? Doesn’t it feel like we could be – need to be – uniting? Why do we have to do any of this nonsense alone? Why do we have to continue to be in survival mode? Uniting in some capacity would take away some of the stress as well as some of the stuck alone in survival mode. Right?
Anyway……….Went through a purge tonight. I just went with it – I knew it was mine – my energy – my repressed stuff – words I’ve kept to myself for years – built up – and out it came. I owned it all. Continue to reflect on it. Got out for a while in search of creative fun stuff – found a couple of things my girl has been in search of and one particular item my spouse has been driving all over the place looking for. So, I still got some magical manifesting power in me – intending for a little bit of it in my current state.
For now – feeling that exhaustion – weariness – and still in that space I was a few nights ago where I was lamenting on the frustration I feel over the work I do – and needing more support/help……..but onwards I go.
Here are some finds. Please Donate, Share with your friends, drop a comment to let me know how you’re doing. As always ~ thank you.
I reallllllllllllllly don’t care what these mouthpieces have to say. I am much more interested in what I call “real people” have to say………
i'm tired of listening to ALL of these mouth pieces. when are WE THE PEOPLE going to have OUR voices heard? shut them all down. seriously……….. https://t.co/qRIsUBdas1
A small handful of things can trigger me deeply these days – this is one of them. Drives me to the brink – when I’m alone at the end of the day with my thoughts – about this world – wondering if it’s really ever going to shift….
Numerous emergency personnel and other agencies are currently at the scene of an aircraft accident involving Southern Airways Express Flight 246, a Cessna… pic.twitter.com/2UqizEFCSI
check out this picture from this article……Barron is unbelievably tall – like abnormally tall……….and he looks so. much. like. his dad when his dad was young………time travel involved can make physical changes in the body……….is it possible B is actually just another T? Melania as so many of us feel is not from here (and we women seem to know this quite strongly)……she has that sister from another world energy to her……….for the plan to work a family had to be created to sell T to the public……..and the wife would have to be part of this plan (if not one of the masterminds behind it)……anyway – just reflecting………
So here’s the video being censored (i explained i tried this about 3 years ago because of other videos i had seen and did. not. have. this. experience. it melted – did not burn and did not turn black). The smell coming from this – the crackling – plastic overload.
Strange anomaly that showed up on radar today – saw the one on the right first – refreshed the tv thinking it was some algo glitch – it was still there (left image). pic.twitter.com/e3uO9e7C3S
