Without sharing all the details it was poking right away.  From verbal altercations with a neighbor’s family member (who is the definition of crazy – always has been) – being accused of trespassing when we were getting his MIL’s mail – to being woken up right about the time the sun decided to shine by noisy residents on the other block  (continued for several hours) – I spent much of my time within creating a safe, protective bubble.  Sometimes it worked.  Other times, not at all.

A bike ride helped.  Seeing butterflies and dragonflies helped too.  Channeled the energy via yard work – also helped.  But none of it took away that inner tired, weary Voice that tells me she is so done with some of these repeating experiences and just wants to rest and be bathed in love.  I feel very “battle weary” now.  This experience has kicked my ass up and down and sideways.  I could use some TLC now.  A lot of it.  I can “pull up my bootstraps” – but that still doesn’t erase how I really feel inside.

I didn’t look much out into the world today.  Saw the schumann had another “black line” about 12 hours ago.  CERN is to start up in a matter of hours.  Where it all leads – I dunno.  As always just focused on what I want and how I want this s.show to go and end.  I am not a fan of holidays – calendar holidays – and as I shared last night the whole freedom day thing feels fake.  I will celebrate – authentically – when I am truly free – of my OWN choosing and definition and not someone elses.

Finds will be later – perhaps.  For now – I am off to do something fun with my girl.  How are ya’ll doing?

Love,

V.

******

I ended today watching more Heartland.  Craving that sense of family and purity.  Today I saw some local kids and couldn’t tell who much less what they are.  It’s like they’re the walking dead.  It’s as though they’re trying to make themselves look as ugly and unkept as possible.  Are they trying to mimic those who don’t have homes – who haven’t bathed in weeks – and who go out of their way to find the most horrid of hair colors and most wrinkled clothes that are 3x too big?  I’ve never seen a teenage generation as the one “they” created now.  This isn’t about individuality – this is about a really sick perverse agenda to turn our children into zombies – in every way.  If people can’t see that – their eyes aren’t open – minds closed up – hearts not wanting or able to see.

I also see a huge rally of support for Planned Parenthood – people raising funds.  Gawd – don’t they know???  Do they not do research?  Are they so blind and so plugged in?  Are these the 4-6% who won’t see?  If so my gawd my city is full of them.  There are protests and rallies – women refusing to celebrate independence – but for all the wrong reasons considering WE HAVE NEVER BEEN FREE and in reality the 4th has been a joke on us all here in the states because “they” want us to buy their cr@p and get drunk and blow sheot up to make believe “oh we’re really free”.  Jesus – if we have to do this more than ONCE – we are not free.

Not that I’m against a good fireworks display or celebrating with others – just the whole “you’re free because we’ve convinced you so well that you are – now go give us a bunch of your money and blow up some stuff” that is one of the biggest jokes and slaps in the face on us all – regardless of what line in the sand THEY created and called it a COUNTRY you reside in.

So at the end of this day – I just can’t.  Can’t find anything in which to align.  Not seeing this awakening – not at the level it should be by now.  And this plan playing out the way it was – being told “it had to be this way” – I’m not buying it.  Not totally and if it isn’t totally jiving with me – then I embrace that doubt – until I see otherwise.  So Happy day before the 4th ….  feels just like a joke.  Since 2018 I have thought “ok THIS 4th will be the last one under this old system”.  4 dayem years is a long time to have that kind of faith.  Most people wouldn’t give a marriage 4 years – waiting for the change the other partner promised would be coming.  So why the frig are people going along w/this plan – after all of these years – blindly – without question?  As I said – not finding much in which to align.

Perhaps if we had a sense of community here……….Yeah – that would be nice.  I would love to have just one of you nearby to hang with on tomorrow’s holiday and talk about Freedom.  REAL freedom.  For now – until it’s not – the community is with my mate, child and ya’ll.  For now it’s just ef it….

Love,

V.

I am feeling the above.  Even in this awakening experience where I align fully with so very few……  The cost of gas here is set to go up over $6 we were told which means a full fill up will be over $100.  Apparently this plann is to slowly drip to awaken people and starve and impinge as many as possible.  I would have been FINE seeing it all crash 20…25…30 years ago.  So as always, the plan doesn’t jive or vibe much with me.

Seems with each of us – we all have our own feeeels opinions thoughts on the experience here.  This often results in me asking more questions.  For instance, healers who are able to reconnect us to our higher selves or other parts of ourselves, has me ask the obvious:  who separated us to begin with and why?  I’ve been to several healers over the years and decades and not once has any of them been able to answer that question other than to say we agreed to it or that is not for us to know, blah blah frigging blah.

Then some think we are doing this alone (with a mind wipe, without knowing where the hell we are much less who we really are or wtf even happened to allow this to begin with) but sure – we’re doing this on our own without ANY FRIGGING INFORMATION.  That’s like telling someone locked in a prison they gotta figure out the lock mechanism (because after all, we agreed to this – at some level that the us here has NO CONCEPT or MEMORY of).

Then there’s the whole free will – how evil cannot compromise us or harm us without our consent.  Again – I have NO MEMORY of EVER agreeing to be here – to experience these trauma’s – the sexual assaults – the car “accidents” (are these accidents really accidental??).

There is no denying anything anymore.  No looking the other way – no avoiding how I feel inside.  No avoiding how I feel about this place and my experience in “it”.  No avoiding my choices I’ve made.  No avoiding what this place has done to me – how it has chipped away at otherwise perfection (not saying I am perfect – just referring to that part of me that is eternal/forever).  The best way for me to describe how I feel and what I am doing in this moment is best put to pictures:

I read someone talk about pain making you stronger.  Only LOVE makes us Strong and the embracing OF it and all that love ENCOMPASSES.  Love IS Strength.  It is the push to know the truth – the push to point it out – the push to be FREE – and the push to BE OURSELVES no matter how lonely that is at times here.

The trauma and resulting pain from this prison experience makes us TOUGH and there is a difference between being tough and strong.  Strong never leaves us – it is that place within us that is US – and even though we have moments where that flame is all but snuffed out – it never burns out.  It’s that energy “they” captured.  Tough is the hard shell we carry with us to keep us going inside OF this place.  Is it natural?  I don’t know.  Anything is possible for any creation in a real uncontrolled experience is possible.  But is it natural?  A go-to experience?  No.  Not for me that is.  I can do it – and I have.  It’s what lead to an armor around my heart and mind.  But I don’t want to carry that energy with me.  I don’t want to feel I HAVE to use it.  NEVER AGAIN.

Everything feels quite heavy now and unsure.  Like that beautiful sweet dog up above – I was leaning onto the wall in the shower portal earlier today – weeping – using the wall to keep me from falling to my knees.  And like the bear – the last few days have been spent in prayer – going within – and in some moments going “without” (I have my own focus that works for me).  Inside job.  Outside job.  I’m a fence sitter as I see this process and experience as BOTH.

I was thinking about our memories – those things which I feel, overall, the matrix simulation allows us to have.  Do we have any memories when we were free?  Truly free?  Why are past life experiences pretty easy to see but to search for experiences prior to the war?  Where are those memories?  So many memories others are having of ancient civilizations – which I feel every one has been created inside of their world here.  I was into lemuria for awhile – until I saw it as being just another experience that was f’d with.  As such – I don’t want to carry those experiences with me – well at least I don’t want to return to those spaces now.  I want to leave behind everything they touched and go forward.  Totally fresh and FREE.

That’s all I got for the moment.

Love,

Victoria