I woke up today to a dead phone.  Grrr – I had been holding onto this phone – not wanting to do the 5G switch.  Nope.  I had continued to feel “it’s ok it will last” so was a bit pissed when I saw this phone sitting lifeless in my hand.  So this prompted calls and other 3d doing’s (mate has a basic phone).  Still – I wasn’t feeling overly called to get another phone.

After all that, I held my phone literally over my head – said “OK HOME OK HEAVEN IF YOU ARE REAL BRING THIS PHONE BACK TO LIFE!  I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!  THANK YOU!”  I giggled – let it go – thinking how “ridiculous” this all looked – what I had just done.  Calling on some help and magic.

An hour or so later, my mate is out at the bank – sitting in line.  At the time, I was in the kitchen, zoning out, when I had a memory return.  About 3 years ago – it was summer or early fall – I was at the park – upset – having a texting convo with Brother Rick.  I was fed up/done with waiting blah blah – growing more upset – when my phone fritzed out on me – causing me more grief.  I began to hear “Victoria calm down.  Breathe.”  At the time I knew it was Claire.  Well my feisty self pays no attention to words like that when I’m fired up.  At that moment, that dang phone literally flew out of my hand and smashed open.  The battery fell out.  “Oh sheot,” I thought.  “I broke it!”

I put it back together (while thinking “oh cool at least now I know where the battery is – might come in handy some day”).  It turned back on – I calmed down and resumed my texting convo.

So all of this returns to me today, ok?  And I think “take out the battery and put it back in – see if that works”.  Hmm.  So I did – and wala – the phone turns back on although I had to charge it back up again.  I went online – found a replacement battery and ordered it.  The phone has been cutting out on me – losing charge pretty quickly – for some time now.  Don’t ask why I never considered to order a new battery.  It’s probably a bit of a miracle it’s lasted this long (never replaced it before).

My mate returns home – I tell him of my experience.  He starts to laugh – runs over and hugs me – and tells me of the experience he had at the same time.  In line at the bank, a song comes on the radio – VOICES by Russ Ballard.  He got chills – felt it was a message from Home – telling him to keep focused – look ahead not behind or around – FOCUS ON HOME.  Lyrics:

If you could see my mind, if you really look deep, then maybe you’ll find
That somewhere there will be a place, hidden behind my comedian face
You will find somewhere there’s a house, and inside that house there’s a room
Locked in the room in the corner you see

A voice is waiting for me, to set it free, I got the key, I got the key
Voices, I hear voices

In my head the voice is waiting, waiting for me to set it free
I locked it inside my imagination, but I’m the one who’s got the combination
Some people didn’t like what the voice did say

So I took the voice and I locked it away, I got the key, I got the key
Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices

Chorus:
Don’t look back, look straight ahead, don’t turn away, then the voice it said
Don’t look back, yesterday’s gone, don’t turn away, you can take it on

For now, I took care of things with my carrier and if I need to order a new phone, I can do it quickly/easily.  I am back standing firm again – knowing at times of need, miracles can happen – and not just talking about the phone fix – but about the response and messages in response to request/prayer.  As I have mentioned, whatever this chaos process is – is back and forth – and we get to the brink then get release.  How much longer this continues – no clue – but it has to be so soon as the intensity has increased dramatically in recent weeks.  This morning as my mate and I were still in bed, we talked about this – prayer – how it feels like prayer/response is “hit or miss” here – about Home – and mostly the dream – our VISION – we have had for so many years.  It has NEVER left and has only amplified in recent months in strength and duration.  He has been hearing “Shadows of the Night” (Benatar) in recent weeks – and as for myself I’ve been hearing “Don’t Dream it’s Over” (Crowded House) also the last few weeks – on the radio and mostly in my mind.  This morning these songs were each there for us – guiding us to HOLD ON TO THOSE DREAMS NEVER LET GO.  FOCUS ON THEM.  DO NOT GET LOST IN THE CHAOS.  It’s a challenge – for sure – but we can do it.

And we are doing it.  Because WE ARE GOD.  THE REAL GOD.

Love,

Victoria

******

Not for the weak-minded.

Only for those who are willing to ask the tough questions.

So….today the thought is #2021 or Bust.

The question – what kind of benevolent plan allows for the killing of our children (whose parents made a mistake – an ignorant choice – with injecting their precious babies with the poke)?

I want to know – what kind of benevolent plan?

And I say to anyone who says it could have been worse:

PROVE IT.

Seriously at this point – put up or shut up.

I see others asking the same question – making the same statements.  Thankful for that.

Even if there is some real plan taking place to clean up the “swamp/evil” – on the  other side freedom and celebration:  Which of these parents who have lost their children to the poke are going to want to celebrate?

Put yourself in their position.  Can you even IMAGINE the horror and shock they will experience learning the truth of that issue alone?

I was trying to have a conversation recently about this – someone defending the plan – pointing out what about the children?  What about my child who has lost 2 years of her childhood?  It was put back at me – what about the people who have died rescuing the children?

TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONCEPT.  My child never asked for this.  None of it – certainly not the last 2 years.  The adults rescuing the children made the choice.  And not that I don’t respect them for that work – I do.  Just done with such conversations – esp. involving my child.  I want to know and surround myself with people who care about my girl.

I had a dream last night – someone around here I know – not a fan of them.  Never been friendly to anyone in this house regardless of our attempts otherwise.  In the dream there was a celebration – light all around – and they were kind.  I pointed this out and was told by them “I’m one of you.  Just don’t tell my spouse.”  I started to fall for it – stopped myself – and said “this is an illusion.  I don’t trust you in the ‘real world’ – not gonna trust you here now – and I’m going by what I see in that experience.  Not here.”  Got out – and had a renewed sense of what I needed to do – go by what I see NOW.

I never saw this madness going on this long.

I especially never saw the poke issue pushed this far.

Not once.

So at this point in this battle – and it is battle just don’t know who exactly is fighting against one another – I am now a full on realist.  I will not give my energy to things unseen/unknown.  No more la la crap.  No more focusing on numbers and other nonsense that produces NOTHING (and let’s be honest now shall we?  all of these meditations on dates and number focuses HAS NOT BROUGHT US WHAT WE SEEK, has it?)  I am now fully focused on WHAT I SEE with these two human eyes and human mind NOW.  (while remaining true to my own inner desire of what I wish to have/see/experience)

The only thing I can see that would make this all “ok” is some giant beautiful event that ends this horror – whereby we see this is all a giant illusion – a giant stage – and none of the children died of the poke – and are reunited with their parents.

That’s all I have atm.  Perhaps…..until.

Love,

V.

******